The Eds stand in the backyard with assault rifles. "If we are going to crush our enemies, see them driven before us and hear the lamentations of their women, we have to learn how to kick a**. Any questions?" Ed asks.

"What if our enemies are women, what part of those three categories you were talking would they fall under?" Eddy asks.

"... I'm not entirely sure. Any other questions?" Ed answered.

"Why do I have to be dressed as you?" Edd asks dressed in Eds stripped shirt, green jacket, blue pants and a comb on his head to resemble the monobrow.

"Because. You look cool." Ed answers as everyone goes silent.

"Wasn't this fanfic supposed to be about us going to college? Like what happened to that plot?" Eddy asks breaking the silence.

"One story arc at a time Eddy." Edd answered.

"Is everyone ready for this training montage?" Ed asks.

"I guess." Eddy answered.

"Sure... why not?" Edd replied.

"Good! Now let's do it!" Ed shouted as the three locked and loaded and- (Montage of the Eds training was not in the budget so to entertain you as they get ready to invade their enemy's lair here's some tentacle hentai to hold you over.)

"Hey, I'm the tentacle pool cleaner here to... Clean your pipes." Cthulhu says as he walks up to A sexy ninja girl lounging on the poolside.

"But my pool is crystal clear. I suppose I have some other pipes for you to sweep though." The sexy ninja girl answered as her bathing suit suddenly vanished.

"Why are we doing this again?" Eddy asks as the three take their SAT.

"Aren't we studying to avoid going to Summer school and go on that beach trip where we get the girls?" Edd replies.

"No, we were training to attack C.O.C.K." Eddy corrects him.

"Oh, well finish the test. You could use the brain exercise as well." Edd answers.

The Three then dress in black trench coats and walk out to the garage armed to the teeth as several doves fly out in front of them in slow motion. The doves start to multiply. Like a lot. You thought the bunnies were bad these doves are taking it to the next level. The Eds are starting to get a little scared here. I think they got turned around it's hard to tell cause I can only see their arms flaying about. Is that dove carrying an eyeball? Oh no. Oh no! Someone call a doctor!

Three months in a hospital later.

The Ed suit back up and carefully poke their heads outside the garage door.

"Coast is clear." Eddy whispers. The three then tip toe their way to the limousine. Eddy pulls out the keys and unlocks the car. "S***!"

"What? Don't tell me they canceling Grimm. If they cancel Grimm I'm going to shoot a place up." Edd says as the other just look at him.

"Double D, you really like that show." Ed says slightly scared.

"Yeah, it's kicka**."

"No time for your guys' penny antic bulls***! Unless either of you knows how to drive stick then we aren't going to be big d*** heroes anytime soon." Eddy says.

"Which type of sized d*** heroes will we be then?" Edd asks.

"Probably fall under the Anime/emo hero category since we aren't doing anything except sitting around and complaining." Ed answers.

"You guys aren't getting any either so you're more like the sidekick to those heroes actually." Panty said as her, Stocking and Eduardo walk in.

"Panty. Stocking. Why is there a giant purple blue monster walking next to you?" Eddy asks.

"He just appeared when we watched this cartoon about a bunch of sooped up crack delusions living under one roof." Panty answered.

"Weird part he speaks mostly spanish. Mostly." Stocking added.

"And he won't stop following us!" Panty said stomping her foot against the ground.

"Why not just take him in the back and put a cap in his arse?" Eddy suggests. Garterbelt then appears behind him.

"Unless he's an abomination or the evil dead it's still murder smart a**!" Garterbelt explains to him.

"Not you again. Wait, do you know how to drive stick?" Eddy asks.

"Yes. But I'm not driving you around." Garterbelt answers.

"What if he's like pinned between two cars in a collision and you gotta put him down? It'd be more of a mercy killing at that point." Ed says revisiting the whole Eduardo case.

"He's got a point." Stocking says supporting his suggestion. Everyone then turns as they hear the limousine start and Eduardo in the driver's seat adjusting the seat and mirrors.

"Hey... He knows how to drive." Edd points out as everyone gets in the limousine.

"I just hope he couldn't understand what I was saying." Eddy adds.

"Welcome to On-Star, would you like directions?" The GPS asks as the team takes off for adventure!

Later, the sounds of tires screeching is heard as the limousine crashes into a lamppost. Purple goo can be seen covering the car. "My aching head!" Eddy says.

"Um Stocking. That monster thing you made, he's all over the hood of the limousine." Edd says.

"That solves one problem." Stocking answers.

"So we lost a guy? Huh. That's a number I could live with." Eddy states.

"We here." Ed says looking at a military base in the middle of the Mojave Desert. "Let's save our beewbs and get revenge for running me over with a jet."

"Alright." Eddy says pulling out a gun.

"Yeah." Edd adds holding a briefcase.

"Wait, why are we here?" Panty asks as her and her sister stand in confusion.

A lone guard stands at the entrance. "We can't alert anyone to our presence." Ed whispers to the others.

"That'll be tough to do cause my presence just gets all over. Sometimes twice in a row even." Eddy says.

"Don't worry Ed, I'll be like a ninja eagle. A ninja eagle who was hiding in the pantry from his ninja eagle father who made him train to become a ninja eagle despite the fact that he didn't want to become a ninja eagle but instead wished to of played with the other regular ninjas and constantly had to ask ninja eagle dad why do you want me to be a ninja eagle I don't wanna fallow in your footsteps I can't recapture your former glory." Edd answers causing everyone to look at him in shock.

"Um... wow." Panty said.

"Yeah, I guess... sorry that happened to you sockhead." Stocking said.

"Is that why you guys spoke in sticky notes?" Eddy asked.

"Oh yeah, my parents weren't even allowed in the same room as me by law." Edd answered.

"All of you shut up now. I have to get the guard to leave his post." Ed says.

"How you going to do that?" Edd asked.

"I'll use my freaky mind powers that I never knew I had until now on him." Ed answers placing a finger on his head and then looking at the guard. "You're getting bored."

"I'm bored." The guard says.

"You're also hot."

"And I got it going on."

"Not that type of hot."

"Oh."

"The desert heat is really getting to you."

"Damn this heat."

"You should go to the bathroom and splash some water on your face."

"I'm not touching that water."

"Oh yes you will cause you're burning hot. In fact, you're on fire! Put yourself out damn you!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The guard runs through the door to the bathroom knocking himself out.

"Okay. That may have made a little too much noise. But nobody seems to care so let's go in and wipe everyone out." Ed tells them.

One guard patrols the outer sector. Ed then leaps down behind him. "YEAH!" And punches his fist right through his chest tearing out his heart.

Another guard just stands by the water fountain until Edd sticks a needle in his arm. "Ow. What was that for."

"I gave you Ebola." Edd tells him.

"What? Am I going to die?"

"Is Ebola coursing through your veins right now?"

"You just told me it is."

"Then you're probably going to die."

"Damn it. I was just three days away from retirement too." The guard says just shaking his head.

"Yeah, well. I'm going to go kill the other guards now. Good luck with living and what not." Edd tells him as he just walks away.

"Yeah, what ever."

A room of guards watches TV featuring Grimm. "This is a great show." one of them says.

Eddy then kicks down the door. "Two million cash for the last man standing!" He yells out. The guards then turn to each other and gun each other down. Eddy then looks around. "Well I'm a man, and I'm standing. I don't see anyone else. I win the money!"

Meanwhile Stocking just helps herself to a birthday cake as Panty bangs the guards into submission. That's the way I'd wanna go.

Everyone then regroup to face the last guard. "What the hell!? Who are you people?" The guard asks.

"That's not important. Where are the girls?" Ed asks.

"What girls?"

"Don't d*** us around kingpin. I will do stuff to you that would make the Human Centipede, Tusk and a X rated skin flick of your parents with your best friends look like NickJr." Ed says.

"So basically modern Nickoldean and Cartoon Network?" Eddy asks.

"Basically."

"Not to be a downer guys but have any of you even seen the villains? I've only seen guards." Edd states.

"Nope." Eddy says.

"Not really." Ed answers.

"There were villains?" Panty asks while stocking finishes her cake.

"Hey, isn't this Longitude 66 and latitude 99?" Ed asks the guard.

"No. This base is longitude 99 and latitude 66." The guard answers. The five heroes, and I use the term loosely, then widen their eyes in realization.

"OOPS!" They all say in unison.

"How will we find C.O.C.K now?" Edd asks.

"Perhaps I can be of assistance!" Mojo comes out of a dark corner in a wheel chair and full body cast.

Meanwhile at the fortress of C.O.C.K The Gord straps the three girls to separate tables as Nergal watches. "You sure this isn't some kind of tentacle bondage Hentai?" Nergal asks.

"For the last no! This will not involve Cthulhu or any of his tentacles in any way, shape or form!" The Gord answered.

"... I got him on speed dial if you're trying to get a hold of him. We can bring in Slender Man as well."

"DHAAAAAAA! I'm going to the next chapter!" Johnny stomps off while mumbling to himself.

"Jerk. Alright, let's get this movie started than." Nergal said as he hit speed dial on his phone.

Will the Eds save the day? Will Johnny 2x4 ever get on with his plan? Will I ever get a life? All of these questions will be answered next time on Best O' frindemisme or something like that. Same Ed time, same Ed place.