Chapter 21: Brown-Eyed Girl
Spencer's POV
"Ashleeeey!"
I have called her name 6…no 7 times now and she is nowhere to be seen.
Bo has spilled his juice all over the floor, and a little girl is crying in my arms.
Did I say crying? I mean SCREAMING.
The dryer is buzzing and I cannot get to it to make it stop. I feel a pounding headache coming on.
"ASHLEEEEYYY!"
Finally, she appears at the top of the stairs in her robe, her hair in a turban. I see panic spread across her face as she makes her way quickly down the stairs. She disappears into the laundry room and I hear the buzzing come to a grinding halt.
In a few more seconds she has paper towels in her hands and is mopping up the juice that has poured across the table and onto the floor below.
In a few more seconds she has scooped Lyla out of my arms and is on her way to the back deck, bouncing her gently as she slides the door shut.
I lean my head down against my wrists on the kitchen counter and take in a huge breath.
SILENCE.
Well, almost.
"Mama…" I hear a sweet little voice call out to me from the table. "I'm sowwy I spilled my dwink."
Lifting my head from off of the counter, I turn to see my four year-old, blue-eyed little boy looking up at me, his little legs dangling over the edge of the chair, his little hands folded neatly in his lap.
"Oh, Bo Bo, Mama's not mad at you," I assure him as I walk over and sit next to him at the table and pull him into my lap. "Mama's just really tired this morning," I promise him as I hug him gently and kiss him on the top of his blonde head.
As I finish my sentence, I hear the sliding glass door close, and I turn to see Ashley approaching, a no longer crying two year-old in her arms.
"Yes, Mr. Bo, Mama spills things ALL the time, you know," she nods her head at him and then smiles at me.
I smile back and mouth thank you as I look at Lyla who is now grasping at the towel on Ashley's head and giggling in amusement.
Lyla Rose was born a little over two years ago, and though not really fair, my pregnancy was sort of been a breeze. I rarely had morning sickness and spent most of those nine months working at the studio and off at my various events, as if nothing was different at all.
And speaking of work, Ben passed away about a month before we confirmed I was pregnant. I was heartbroken, and Ashley had worried immensely that my grief was going to impact my health. Ben was only in his mid-seventies when he passed. I sometimes wonder if he died of a broken heart…if he just couldn't spend another day without Emily Rose.
Yes, Lyla's middle name is in honor of Ben's beloved wife. Even more than from my own parents, I learned so much about commitment, love and marriage from Ben's stories and pictures. I miss him everyday, and his name will remain on the door of my portrait studio for as long as it's open.
Turning back down to Bo, I continue to reassure him that he's not in any sort of trouble.
"Mommy's right, Bubba. Mama spills lots and lots of things. And MOMMY," I continue, tilting my head towards Ashley, who is setting our daughter in her high chair and sliding into her own chair on the other side of the table, facing Lyla so she can feed her some oatmeal, "is not very good and finishing the laundry when she promises." I kiss his forehead again and grin at Ashley, who feigns shock.
Turning to Lyla, she continues spooning warm cereal into her mouth and making googley eyes at the little brown-eyed girl staring back at her. "You know, Lyla Rose," she tells her seriously. "Mama's a little cranky when the Lakers lose." The little girl giggles as Ashley scoops another spoonful in her mouth.
I laugh and stick my tongue out at her. Bo sees this and gasps.
"Mama, sticking your tongue out is not nice!" he tells me sternly and I see Ashley bring her hand to cover her mouth, stifling her laughter as to not send our son mixed signals.
Trying to look serious, I nod my head at him. "You are right, Mister. It is not very nice. Mommy does not like it when I stick my tongue out at her."
As I conclude the lesson we should all learn from all of this, I catch Ashley's eyes and raise one eyebrow suggestively at her.
She bites her lip to stifle another laugh, and joins in my rant. "That's right, Bo. MAMA should just keep her tongue in her mouth," she assures him and raises one eyebrow right back at me.
It's so inappropriate, but God knows Bo has no idea what messages his Mommies are conveying to one another with this little exchange.
Just then, I hear something that causes all three of us to freeze.
"Mama!"
What did she say?
I look at Ashley and her eyes are as wide as I know mine must be.
"She said Mama!" Bo exclaims and claps his hands excitedly.
"Son, I think you're right," I tell him as I hug him again.
Ashley turns back to Lyla, and leans towards her. "Lyla Rose, did you say Mama?"
Lyla responds by pointing a tiny chubby finger at me, her big brown eyes twinkling. "Mama!" she proclaims and we all erupt into fits of giggles.
Placing Bo gently in the seat next to me, I rise and sweep my little girl in my arms. "That's right, baby girl. Mama," I reward her tenderly with a huge kiss against her wild, curly brown locks.
Ashley stands and comes around the table to stand in front of us. Leaning down and resting her hands on her knees, she smiles at our daughter and congratulates her on her first word. "Good job, Lyla-Lou!" she exclaims as she kisses her tenderly on her rosy cheek. "Ok, now…Mooommmmyyy," She draws the word out slowly as if trying to help Lyla to repeat after her.
I laugh out loud and shake my head at her. "What?" she asks innocently, glancing up at me, her big brown eyes matching those of the little girl staring blankly back at her. "Moooommmmyyyy" she repeats and I look at Bo, who is staring at us both in amusement.
He's unsettlingly smart for a four year-old, and I swear sometimes he thinks his Mommies are a little nuts. He's been giving us that look since he was six months old.
"You know, Mr. Bo," I begin, giving him a very serious look. "It's only fair really, cause guess what the first word you ever said was?" I raise my eyebrows at him, waiting for his response.
He looks deep in thought for a moment, and then I see a sense of realization fill his big blue eyes. "Mommy!" he announces proudly, and I nod my head.
SO smart.
Ashley turns around and beams at him, scooping him up into her arms and kissing him repeatedly as he squirms away, laughing. "Mommy, stop it!" he cries through his sweet little laughter.
"Hey, I'll kiss you whenever I want and as much as I want, Mister!" she informs him lovingly as she places a few more fast and silly kisses to his cheek and neck.
"Okay, you little monsters," I tell them with a teasing grin. "Let's get you bathed and dressed. Aunt Chelsey and Uncle Glen will be here soon…AND ROCCO AND REGAN. And guess where you are going?" I give them both a wide-eyed look and wait to see if Bo remembers.
"The ZOOOOO!" He jumps off his chair and starts to jump up and down.
"Maaamaaa!" Lyla squeals out as if she thinks she is repeating after her brother.
"Mooommmyyyy," Ashley attempts one more time, and I burst into laughter.
"Come on, Moooommmmyyy," I prod her with my free hand. "Bath time. Let's get these little ones packed and ready to go so we can have a little moooommyyy time of our own." I wink and then look her up and down slowly.
And I need not say another word. She has Bo tossed over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and he is squealing uncontrollably as she races up the stairs. I watch them disappear down the hall and hear the bath water start in record time.
Shifting my little Ashley Jr. on my hip, I nuzzle into her neck and take in her perfect little smell. "Alright baby girl, let's go upstairs and find your brother and your mommy."
"Mommmyy."
Oh. My. GOD.
"Ashley, you are NEVER going to believe this," I cry as I rush up the stairs to find her.
…
After we kiss our children goodbye a dozen times, and Ashley attempts to get Lyla to say Mommy again approximately a hundred more, we thank Glen and Chelsey profusely, take turns messing up Rocco AND Regan's curls, and say our final goodbyes.
As the front door closes, we turn to each other, and smile.
Silence.
"You think Lyla is going to be okay?" Ashley asks me nervously as she loads the dishwasher with this morning's breakfast dishes.
Bo has had dozens of sleepovers with cousin Rocco and cousin Regan, Nanna and Pop, Grandma, and we even let him stay at Uncle Aiden and Aunty Kyla's a few times. Lyla has stayed with my parents a few times, but not yet with Glen and Chels.
"Baby, she's going to be just fine. Her big brother will be there, and she LOVES her cousin Regan," I assure her.
Ashley has been crazily overly-protective of our little girl every since she was born.
Oh, GOD, who am I kidding? Since she was incepted and long before we knew what that tiny baby growing inside of me even was. And it doesn't help that though I had a very easy pregnancy, my labor, well that was a different story…
Flashback
"Spencer, here, let me take that…" she insists as she grabs a sack from my hand.
The sack, if you must know, contains some cereal, milk and grapes, and one, count it, one trashy gossip magazine. If I had to estimate, in all it weighs about five pounds.
"Ash, sweetie….really?" I implore as she sets the strenuous object on the counter before urging me over to the couch.
"Now come on, honey, you have like three weeks. You don't need to be putting any unnecessary stress on your body right now…" she lectures as she gently pushes me onto the couch, pulling my feet up and resting a cushion under my knees.
"Oh, really, is that so?" I give her a knowing look, reminding her of what she wanted me to do last night in bed, which I did without a moment's hesitation.
Grinning like a child who's been caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar, she continues. "Ok, Ok, you've made your point. But honey, I remember how I felt in those last weeks before Bo, and I know you don't have the sickness, but the aching back and swollen feet and exhaustion…" she trails off as she begins removing my sandals.
Deciding to take full advantage of my doting wife, I moan and contort my face. "Oh, yes, God my feet are killing me…" I look at her with pleading eyes, and she shakes her head.
But she rubs my feet anyway.
She is kneeling on the floor in front of me and I am leaned back against the couch.
This woman has hands of which the skills I cannot begin to describe.
I have my arms propped on my enormous belly. So, Ashley freaked about her minimal weight gain and perfect little baby bump. I swear, from the back, you could hardly tell.
But me? Oh, no. I had to gain almost twice what she had, mainly in my stomach mind you, but my hips and ass make me want to cry every time I look at myself naked in the mirror. That is, when I will dare to look at myself naked in front of the mirror.
She certainly does not mind, though, and much to my insecure protests at times, has continued ravaging my fat, swollen, pregnant body more often than is probably really necessary.
I smile adoringly at her as she continues to rub my feet, even kissing the pads and sucking a toe occasionally. Only my Ashley would not care about putting her mouth all over my dirty feel.
Ewww….
Yeah, I'm not so loose about those sorts of things.
"That better, baby?" She asks as she leans up and rests her head on my protruding belling. "I'm talking to you in there…" she continues, giving my stomach a light kiss. "When Mama feels better, I'm sure you feel better little one." She kisses my stomach again and turns her head to the side, straining to hear any movement from inside my belly.
I stroke her hair and watch her continue to talk to my belly and our second child still inside. I feel so much like a broken record but every day she amazes me more with her tenderness.
Do you reach a limit where you cannot possibly fall even more deeply in love with a person? Cause if this limit exists, I have to be getting pretty darn close to it.
"…and your Mama might just get a little cranky at your Mommy sometimes about it but she forgets sometimes that Mommy doesn't mean it."
I have NO clue what Ashley has been talking to our baby about, but I don't care.
"Babe, come here…" I urge her with lustful eyes. She smiles up at me, kissing my stomach again while holding my gaze. She rises and slides in next to me, pulling me to her as I bring my hands to her cheeks. I lean in and our lips meet in a soft and tender kiss.
I am reminded of our first kiss, gosh around 15 or more years ago is it now? Pulling back and opening my eyes, I watch her slowly slide open as well. I wonder if she is meeting the limits possibly set by the universe as well.
"Kiss me again…" I ask her gently, and she complies. She pulls me tighter to her, letting her hands roam slowly over my back as I continue to stroke her face. She slides her hands up and grips the hack of my neck, firmly but still gently. We kiss for what feels like forever, neither needing it to go any farther, and just enjoying the fact that even after years of dating, more years of marriage, a child and one more on the way, we still are content with sitting on our couch and making out like high schoolers again.
As she starts to lower me onto my back (ok, maybe eventually we do need it to go a little further) I feel a surge of wetness soak my sundress. And no, I don't mean it like you might be thinking.
"Oh God, Ashley…" I begin.
Her face is in my neck and she murmurs into me, "Oh God, I know baby…"
"NO, ASH! WAIT!" The panic in my voice knocks her out of any thoughts she was having and she sits up, facing me with her panic matching mine.
"Honey what?" She urges impatiently.
"Ash, I think my water just broke."
…
I am clutching the 'oh-shit' handle in the passenger side of Ashley's Lexus SUV. "Babe, please can you slow down." I try to keep the horror out of my voice and to ask her nicely enough that she actually might listen.
"Fuck, I'm doing 95," she recognizes and lets her foot off the gas a little. Turning briefly to me she smiles and takes my hand. "Baby we are almost there. You doing ok?" Her forehead wrinkles under her concern and I smile softly at her.
"Ash, sweetie, I swear I am fin…ooohhh….OH MY SWEET LORD ABOVE!" I scream as another contraction paralyzes my body.
And actually paralyzes is a bad choice of words. Had it actually 'paralyzed' me, I would not be feeling this excruciating pain right now.
I feel the car suddenly accelerate again and glance at Ashley, her eyes intently staring in front of her as she presses even harder on the gas.
This time, I actually don't say a word. I just squeeze her hand as hard as I can, ignoring the small wince of pain displaying on her worried face.
"Almost there…" she breathes out, trying to appear unphased by my death grip.
…
"MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!" She is flying down the corridor, pushing my wheelchair in the same manner she does with Bo in a shopping cart, but she's not making playful engine noises.
No, she is screaming for people to get the 'hell out of her way', and my face is in my hands.
Making our way to the front desk, she breathlessly says something to the nurse, which neither the nurse, nor I frankly, understand.
"Ma'am, you are going to have to calm down, now." Pointing to me, sitting in the wheel chair with a freaking basketball under my dress, she asks brilliantly," She pregnant?"
I glance up at Ashley and see her take a deep breath, and I know this look and am bracing myself for the smart-ass comment that is about to come oozing from her.
"Yes, ma'am. This is my wife, Spencer, and she is in fact…pregnant." I think her teeth are gritted together by the sound of her voice, but I really don't want to look at her at this point. "Oh, and…she's in labor."
With that, the nurse makes a call and before I know it, we are being whisked away to a hospital room.
"I'm proud of you, baby," I tell her as she stands next to me, gripping my hand and staring nervously at the door waiting for the doctor to arrive.
"For what?" She looks at me innocently, but then gives me a quick wink before averting her eyes back to the door.
"Where the hell is she, God Damnet?"
And my moment of pride in her display of patience in the lobby is gone.
Oh God.
"Oh God," I repeat out loud as another contraction takes over. "ASH!" I grip her hand tightly and she leans down.
"Ok, honey, just breathe, sweetie. Look at me."
I look at her and her beautiful face is right in front of me, her eyes locked on mine, and the look she is giving me reminds me she has been here and this will all be over soon. I breathe my way through the contraction and settle back into to bed, keeping a firm grip on her hand.
Finally, Dr. Quinn appears, dressed in scrubs and looking ready to get this show underway.
"Here we are again, ladies," she smiles as she takes a seat in front of me. I feel her fingers putting pressure on me. "Wow, Spencer you are pretty dilated. I think we are closer than I was expecting."
Ashley beams down at me and I try to smile as another contraction takes over. Just then we hear an intrusive beeping coming from one of the monitors. I see worry furrow Ashley's face again as Dr. Quinn stands up to take a closer look.
"What's wrong, Dr. Quinn," Ashley inquires, her voice filled with worry.
Turning back to us, her face is serious. "Ladies, the baby seems to be in a little distress. I need to run some quick tests, but I will be right back." She nods reassuringly before disappearing through the door.
Turning my face up to Ashley, I see the panic in her eyes, but when she finds my own worried stare, he face relaxes as she takes my face in her hands. Kissing me softly, she begins talking soothingly to me while we wait for our doctor's return.
"Honey, this kind of thing happens all the time. The baby is probably just turned funny. Or just really ready to come out and meet her gorgeous Mama." She continues with these loving statements, all the while stroking my hair, placing soft kisses on my forehead here and there.
Dr. Quinn returns with some more equipment I do not recognize, a nurse and perhaps another doctor? I feel the anxiety rise again as Ashley continues her strokes through my hair.
The next thing I know I am hooked up to more machines with more gadgets all over my body and I hear more beeps and clicks.
"Dr. Quinn, what's going on. Please?" This time I am doing the asking. My contractions are becoming more intense and the pain is almost unbearable.
Dr. Quinn does not speak at first as she keeps her eyes trained on one of the many monitors.
"Ladies, listen, I don't want you to panic, but we need to get Spencer into an operating room. The baby's heart is in distress and I think we need to do an emergency c-section." She turns to look at me first and then Ashley.
"Wh..what?" Ashley stutters and apparently cannot say anything else as she leans down to take me into her arms.
"Dr. Quinn is the baby ok?" I gasp as I feel the tears start to form.
"Spencer, I am sure everything is going to be ok, but we need to get the baby out of you quickly."
And then I am being whisked off down the hallway again, Ashley running along side of us, tears pouring down her face as she keeps her eyes on mine. "Honey, it's going to be okay. You hear me? This baby is just making a dramatic entrance. Look at who she came from," she smiles but her voice is cracking with each word.
"Ashley, I am scared," I admit to her, and I see her face tighten for a minute before she softens again. We have reached the OR and they are about to wheel me inside.
Quickly, she leans down and gives me a short but tender kiss. My eyes press close as I try to take in every bit of her. "Baby, look at me." I open my eyes and she is centimeters away. "Everything is going to be just fine, you the baby, everything." She says this without a moment's hesitation and I relax a little. "I love you."
As they turn my bed and pull me back into the OR, I lean my head up and assure her, "I love you too."
…
"Uggghhh…" I moan, opening my eyes and taking in my surroundings. Forgetting momentarily where I am for a moment, I wait for my eyes to focus before moving too much.
"Hey beautiful…" I hear the familiar whisper, and turn my head, following her voice.
And there sits my wife, on a chair to the right of my bed, with a tiny swaddled bundle in her arms. Her eyes are red and more swollen than I think I have ever seen them, but she is smiling from ear to ear. She is also rocking the bundle in her arms back and forth, softly humming.
"How do you feel?" she asks gently as she rises. I just smile my response as I look at the bundle in her arms that we still have not spoken of.
She takes a seat next to me and slowly places the tiny creature in my arms. "It's a girl," she whispers and I can hear the smile on her lips, but keep my eyes focused intently on the sleeping baby in my arms.
"Oh, Ashley…" I begin but my emotion does not allow me to continue.
"I know, she's perfect, huh?" I nod slowly and tear my eyes away from our daughter to look at her Mommy for a second. "I knew she would be," I smile, and she leans down, taking my lips slowly in hers.
…
After reminding her that Lyla will be in good company, she seems to relax a bit, and I continue. "And seriously, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is going to get in the way of you and me spending a lazy day together, no crying, no dirty diapers, no spills, and most importantly…" I give her a long hard look, my face very serious, "NO interruptions."
"Mmmmm, I like the sound of that…" she smiles seductively.
"Oh yeah?" I flirt as she walks from behind the counter and pulls me to her, kissing my lips slowly but firmly.
"OH YEAH," she replies coyly as she gives her hips a little shake.
"You know what I want to do that we haven't since we've realized its likely illegal to leave little human beings alone in the house for any extended period of time?" I raise my eyebrows to her, waiting to see if she can figure out my little suggestion.
"Baby, you read my mind."