Author's…Lame Excuses:

It's not my fault. No. No it isn't.

Meme prompt: *sniffle* Poor Axel…Okay. *gasp* It's an evil army of homophobes! Quick! Turn either Axel or Roxas into a girl!

An Unexpected Dilemma

Axel slammed the lab door shut with a resounding bang! and leaned against it as he slid the bolt. Roxas all but flew to the shelf covered with potions, all neatly labeled in Vexen's meticulous handwriting. The next moment, a thundering crash sounded against the door. Desperation laced Axel's voice as he called over to Roxas, "Hurry the fuck up, they're going to break down the goddamn door in a minute!"

Roxas, eyes flicking as fast as possible over row upon row of labels, shot back over his shoulder, "Well you'll just have to do something about it and give me a minute because I can only read these damn thing so fast, you know!"

Not listening, Axel all but shrieked as another thud reverberated through his back. "Why the fuck are they trying to kill us? What did we ever do to them?!"

"It's what we did to each other that they're…Ah! Got it!" Roxas yanked a bottle off the shelf and turned in panicked triumph to Axel. "Here is it, quick, take it!"

Horror suddenly spread through the redhead's already-strained features. "Wait, you want me to take it? That's not what I thought you meant when you said 'change us to a hetero couple'!"

"Well, I'm not fucking changing into a girl over this, and don't you even dare to suggest why it should be me, or so help me you will never get in these pants again as long as you fucking live!"

"That's not going to be long at this rate!" Axel screamed in frustration as Roxas tried to shove the bottle at him again. He quickly pushed it back at Roxas. "Just do it! Because…because girls are shorter than guys! It'll be more believable!"

"No fucking way!" Roxas screamed back, shoving the bottle to Axel again.

And that is when it happened. Slipping through two pairs of shaking hands, the bottle slipped, fell, and shattered on the floor. Both boys were immediately enveloped in a loud explosion of pink smoke. After a moment, the smoke cleared, leaving two horrified-looking girls standing in Vexen's lab.

Jaws open, thy gaped at one another for a moment. Then, Roxas grabbed his suddenly bulging chest and screamed. At the same moment, Axel's hand flew to his own crotch, and he too screamed…although to be more accurate, he shrieked at a pitch most girls couldn't even hit. A split second later, he copied Roxas' action, and the size of his own breasts made him shriek again, while Roxas matched the sound, his hand now where Axel's had been.

Their eyes locked, expressions beyond horror and shock as they attempted to process the loss to their respective bodies…and their similarly appalling gains. Neither spoke for a long moment. There was nothing to be said. Finally, Axel forced out a pathetic attempt at a casual smile.

"Well…" He blanched, hearing his own sweet, feminine voice, then struggled to continue. "At…at least we won't die?"

The door shuddered on its failing hinges as another heavy blow nearly broke it down, and Roxas didn't even pay attention to his own voice. "Actually, I think we've still got the same problem…"

Both fled out the back, leaving the problem of their gender identity for later…after the more imminent threat to their lives would be dealt with. Neither Axel nor Roxas wanted to die for being lesbians, after all.

~o~