Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to the BBC show Merlin, the characters, plots, or actors/actresses.

Okay, so this is Merlin's point of view of what happened in the last chapter because I felt that the story needed both sides of the story

Merlin was working his last day at Albion Bookseller before taking time off to study for finals. He had papers to write and exams to prepare for, as well as a presentation that he was supposed to be working on with Gwaine, if he could get his friend to stay on topic for more than thirty minutes. He was shelving a stack of new books that had come in the day before when he heard Freya cry out, "Let go of me!"

He dropped the books he was holding and booked it for the café. There's hardly anybody in the place, who could be bothering Freya? he thought as he ran. He pounded up the steps and slid to a halt. That bastard was back. When was he going to figure out that Freya wanted nothing to do with him? Merlin knew that the only reason Mordred hadn't been arrested yet was because Freya was too nice for her own good. He and James had tried countless times to get her to press charges but she wouldn't hear of it.

She was in front of the bar, Mordred's hand gripping her upper arm as she tried futilely to free herself. Merlin strode forward and yanked Mordred's hand off her, pushing her behind him as he did so. "I believe the lady said let go."

Mordred sneered at him. "You think I care what you think? I'm gonna get her one of these days, no matter what you boys think you can do."

Merlin said quietly, "Freya, get behind the bar."

"But-"

"Now, please, Freya." She listened, for once. He wasn't going to let this scumbag touch her again. If he had his way, they'd call the police this time. "It's time for you to go, Mordred. I think you've caused enough trouble for today."

Mordred chuckled. "Oh, I'm just getting started, faggot."

"Is that the best you can do? I've heard it all before, and not just from you," Merlin shot back, crossing his arms over his chest. He'd dealt with worse and he could handle Mordred for the ten minutes he usually spent trying to get to Freya.

"You think you can stand up to me, skinny? Just 'cause you're gay doesn't mean I'm gonna pound you any less. Your boyfriend won't stop me, either," he sneered.

Merlin couldn't help it. He flinched. He never was one for fights, preferring to talk his way out of things. And Arthur was at work, unable to step in if Mordred did start beating on him. He was going to have to hope that he could talk his way out of this. He had to protect Freya, anyway. He took a quick breath to steady himself and said, "I don't need Arthur to fight my battles for me, Mordred. This is going to end just like every other time before has. With you leaving Freya alone. Not sure when it'll sink in, but she really doesn't like you." And neither do I. Merlin added mentally.

Mordred laughed and somehow Merlin knew something worse than usual was coming. Mordred said, "You don't get it, do you, you freak?"

Freak? Really, that the best you can do? "Get what?" Merlin asked, a little curious.

"I'm not here for Freya. That's just a bonus. I got some news for you." Mordred paused and Merlin had to fight not to roll his eyes. "It's all a game. You're a charity case. Arthur doesn't really care about you, he's just having one last fling before he settles down."

Merlin flinched, lowering his arms in shock. Nonsense. Arthur wouldn't do that. It's not true. It can't be true. He couldn't believe what Mordred said, he knew that. Mordred would say anything if it meant getting a hold of Freya.

Mordred taunted, "I wonder what you've been getting out of this so-called relationship. Arthur got a sex playmate and what did you get? Nothing."

Merlin flinched again and looked down. Was that all he was to Arthur? Was that all they had ever had together? That couldn't be true; after all, if all Arthur wanted was sex, there were plenty of people out there. He didn't need to invest in a relationship.

But Mordred had more to say. He laughed at Merlin's surprise. "I can't believe you didn't know! Oh, this is too perfect. By the way, just to add some icing to the cake, he's already got a girl lined up for when he got bored with you. His father just decided to speed it up a tad."

Merlin could only stare at Mordred. He had to be lying. Arthur would never…but his father didn't know about them. It could be true. No, he thought, mentally shaking his head. There's no way that's true.

He had just about convinced himself of that when Arthur suddenly planted himself in front of him. His mouth dropped open. What was Arthur doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be at work?

Mordred sneered at Arthur. "Why, hello, Arthur. Fancy meeting you here."

Merlin frowned. Did Mordred know that Arthur was going to stop by? It sure sounded like it. Was there some truth to this crazy story?

Arthur said, "What gives you the right to go after my boyfriend like that?" Merlin smiled to himself. It was a lie; Arthur wouldn't still call him his boyfriend if it were true.

"I just thought he had the right to know the truth. Or did you mean to hide your engagement to Sophia, Arthur?"

Merlin gasped. What? No…

Arthur retorted, "That's not true. I'm not marrying anyone named Sophia."

Just past Arthur's shoulder, Merlin could see Mordred raise an eyebrow at Arthur. "So the conversation between you and Elena about your meeting with Uther a little over an hour ago…never happened?"

"You…! You eavesdropped on a private conversation! How dare you!" Arthur shouted.

Merlin felt like he was trying and failing to keep up with the conversation. He trusted Arthur, but what was happening made him think that Mordred was telling the truth. Why would Arthur go out with him if he was already engaged? He had to know the truth. His voice sounded small, even to him. "So it is true?" Merlin was desperately hoping that Arthur's next words would convince him Mordred was wrong.

Arthur spun around to face him and Merlin's heart sunk at the look of despair on his face. "No. Well, yes. Parts of it."

Yes? Merlin fought back his tears. "Was it all a game? Did you mean any of it? Did you ever really love me?" The words spilled out of him.

Arthur shook his head. "No, I meant every word I said to you, Merlin. Every word."

How can I believe that? He wanted to say something but Mordred beat him to the punch.

He laughed, enjoying Merlin's pain from what it sounded like. "I think I'll take my leave now. Good luck getting out of this mess, Pendragon. I'll see you later, Freya, my love." Merlin vaguely saw him turn and walk away.

Merlin managed a spare thought for his friend behind the bar but instead focused on Mordred's words. He choked back a sob. Mordred was right; Arthur was engaged. How could he be? All these months they'd spent together couldn't have meant nothing to Arthur, could it?

"Merlin, please, listen to me. Yes, Father made a deal but I'm not going through with it. I choose you!" Arthur reached for him but Merlin couldn't bear to have Arthur touch him at that moment and pulled away.

The tears were finally starting to leak out and he stepped away from Arthur, needing space. "You are engaged, and you never told me?" Merlin couldn't help his voice breaking on those last words.

"I just found out about it an hour ago! I tried to explain that I was already in a relationship, but my father wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise. Merlin, I swear, I'm not engaged." Arthur tried again to reach for Merlin but Merlin pulled away. He stepped back again as Arthur tried to explain some more. "I came straight to you, to tell you what happened and that I wasn't going through with it."

Everything Merlin had ever been told about the Pendragons and every warning he'd ever had from his friends to not get involved with one flashed through his mind at that point and all he could manage to say was, "I can't believe it. Will was right. I should never have gone out with you." Merlin felt disconnected from his brain. All he could think about was why he hadn't listened to his mate in the first place. He fought back a sob as he said softly, "He warned me that people like you don't ever have relationships with people like me, but I had so hoped you'd be different. But you're not, are you?"

"Merlin…" Arthur's voice trailed off and Merlin knew there were no more excuses. They were done. "I do love you, Merlin. Really. Please…you have to believe me. Everything we've gone through these past few months, don't you know that by now? I'll always choose you."

I thought I did know you, Arthur. I guess I don't. "I don't know if I can believe anything you say. If our relationship was all a lie…if it was just a game…I can't, Arthur…I have to go." He needed to get away from everything, from Arthur, from a love he'd thought was real. Merlin turned and ran out of the store.

He heard Arthur following him, calling out, "Merlin, wait! Merlin! Please, just let me explain! Merlin!"

Merlin rounded the corner, Arthur's cries vanishing into the distance behind him. He ran, not really knowing where he was going. He just needed to get away.

Finally, Merlin had to stop. He had a stitch in his side and was out of breath. He dropped onto a bench and pulled out his mobile, his chest heaving. He stared at it for a minute. Who could he call? Then it hit him and he wondered, Of course. Why didn't I think of him before?

Gwaine answered on the second ring. "'Sup, mate?"

Merlin swallowed. He didn't know how to start.

Gwaine must have figured something was wrong because he sounded concerned as he asked, "Merlin, what is it? What's wrong?"

"It was all a lie, Gwaine," Merlin sobbed. "Arthur. It was all a lie."

"Oh, god, Merlin. I'm so sorry. I know how much you loved him."

It stung more than he thought to hear it in the past tense. "Can you pick me up?"

"Sure, mate. Where are you?"

Merlin looked around. He saw a sign off to the left. "Um, I'm at Lincoln Park."

"Okay, I know where that is. Let me grab Lance's car and I'll be there in twenty. Just stay there, okay?" Gwaine's voice was reassuring and Merlin calmed down a little.

"Thanks, Gwaine."

"Not a problem, Merlin." They hung up and Merlin settled back to wait, trying not to think.

Twenty minutes later, Merlin looked up as a car screeched to a halt in front of him. Gwaine jumped out onto the sidewalk and sat down next to him, ignoring the fact that you weren't technically allowed to park there. "You okay, Merlin?"

Merlin shook his head. "No. I'm nowhere near okay, Gwaine. I just…" He sighed. "How could he fake it like that?"

Gwaine was silent for a moment before saying, "I don't know, Merlin. Maybe some people just like to mess with other people. Maybe they get a kick out of it."

They sat in silence for a couple more minutes, Merlin fighting back more tears. Finally, he turned to his best friend and asked, "Can I stay with you?"

Gwaine looked insulted. "Of course! You think I'd say no? You say the word, and Pendragon won't get within a hundred feet of you."

Merlin gave a shaky laugh. "Thanks. I just want to grab some stuff from our…his…flat, first."

"Sure thing. Come on, Lance doesn't know I borrowed his car."

"You mean stole."

Gwaine shrugged as they got in the car. "Semantics. Now, which way to the prick's flat?"

Merlin gave him directions and before he knew it, they were standing in front of the flat door with Merlin fishing in his pockets for his keys. He had a brief moment of panic, thinking he'd left them at the bookshop and he'd have to go back, but he found them and unlocked the door. Gwaine followed him in.

"Nice digs," Gwaine commented, looking around. "So, where do you wanna start?"

"Um," Merlin looked around as well, "well, all my suitcases are in the bedroom closet, so I guess we might as well start in there."

The next hour was spent gathering up all of Merlin's things, packing them and carrying them down to the car. Gwaine was taking the last box down while Merlin took one last walk around the flat, making sure he didn't leave anything behind.

So many happy memories of his time here. Weekend mornings spent lounging in bed together. Cuddling with each other on the sofa, watching reruns of their favorite TV shows. Takeout containers from their favorite Chinese restaurant sat on the counter or in the fridge. The desk in the corner where Merlin would study until Arthur decided he'd had enough and distracted him was now completely bare of Merlin's things. He was pretty sure Arthur had never used it before he arrived. Merlin felt tears welling up again and quickly blinked them away.

Merlin stood in front of the kitchen counter, wrote a quick letter to Arthur. He looked up as Gwaine came back in.

Gwaine stood in the doorway and said softly, "You ready, Merlin? Everything's in the car."

Merlin took one last glance around the flat then nodded. He left his keys on the counter with the note. It just said goodbye. He shouldn't have, but he felt like he couldn't truly leave without saying goodbye in some form.

Then he turned and followed Gwaine out of the building, totally silent. It's not like he was wrapped up in thought; he just felt too numb to do anything other than follow his friend's lead.

Gwaine drove to his place and they carried Merlin's things up into the flat, stacking them in a corner of the spare bedroom. Gwaine attempted to joke, "I'm awfully glad I sprung for the flat with the spare room, despite how awkward it would be for when I brought a girl back."

Merlin didn't react and Gwaine went back to being quiet, but Merlin could feel Gwaine watching him as they worked. When the last box had been added to the pile, Merlin dropped onto the couch with Gwaine next to him.

Gwaine asked quietly, "What happened, Merlin?"

In between sobs, Merlin told him about the conversation at work. When he'd finished, he gave in and dissolved into tears. Gwaine held him close and told him, "It's going to be okay. It may not seem like it right now, but you'll be okay. You're welcome here as long as you want, you know that."

Merlin felt the need to be alone for a moment and pulled away from Gwaine to go and hide in the bathroom. He could hear Gwaine get up and call Lance.

"Hey, Lance, you gotta get over here….Turns out Arthur was toying with Merlin…he's a royal prick…yeah, poor guy just found out…Of course not. You think I'd let him stay there? He's staying at my place and I have no idea what to do. You're better at this than I am…Thanks, mate. I'll see you soon."

Merlin sunk down onto the floor, his back to the door, and rested his head on his knees. The numbness was starting to wear off after telling Gwaine everything. He felt like Arthur had never loved him. He felt ashamed and pathetic for falling for it and wished at that moment that he had never run into Arthur Pendragon on the tube that day.

Merlin had no idea what to do next beyond moving out. At the moment, he fully intended on burying himself in his studies. Finals were coming up but they suddenly seemed less important than the fact that he had been a mere fling when he had thought it meant so much more.

By the time Merlin had regained control of his emotions well enough to emerge from the bathroom, Lance had arrived. He must have been home, Merlin realized. It would have taken him a lot longer to get here if he'd been at work. Then again, it was almost eight o'clock by now. Thank god he hadn't brought Gwen. He didn't think he could handle seeing any of Arthur's friends at the moment.

Lance immediately hurried over and enveloped him in a hug. Merlin clung to him, burying his face in his friend's shoulder. "Gwaine told me what happened, Merlin, and I just can't believe it. I'm so sorry," Lance said as he stepped back.

Merlin shrugged. He couldn't believe it, either, but it was true. His phone buzzed as the three of them settled on the couch. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw it was from Arthur. Merlin threw it onto the coffee table, unable to even open it. Gwaine picked it up, slipped it into his pocket, leaned forward and popped in one of Merlin's favorite movies to distract him from it. Merlin was grateful for that simple action.

Lance and Gwaine spent the next couple hours making fun of the movie and each other and just trying to distract Merlin from his thoughts. When the movie ended, Merlin said quietly, "I think I'm gonna go to bed. Thanks, guys, for everything."

Lance gave his shoulder a squeeze. "That's what friends are for, Merlin. Anything you need, don't hesitate to ask."

"And we'll keep Pendragon away from you for as long as you want," Gwaine added.

Merlin nodded his thanks and got up. They followed suit and he said, "Never thought I'd be so grateful to have all these final projects to do."

"We'll get started on our presentation first thing in the morning, mate," Gwaine said. He gestured towards the spare bedroom and added, "Room's yours for as long as you want it."

"Thanks, Gwaine. I appreciate it." He hurriedly disappeared into the bedroom where he collapsed on the covers without changing. He wanted to cry more, but it seemed like he'd finally run out of tears. Eventually he fell asleep.