Author's NoteThe person I had do the trailer finished it! The link won't go onto this page, I don't know why...But I posted a review to this story with nothing but the link, so if you want to watch it go find it in the reviews! It's only one minute, but I like it, I hope you guys do too! This chapter is kind of like a summary of events, but it's got A LOT of details. So it's too long to be a summary, but too quick to be a chapter…hope that makes sense when you read it.

DisclaimerLife is a funny thing. Life in general. Also Life with Derek. But I only own my life. Strange…

Derek tried again and again to talk to Casey, but the only time she would let him around her was when they were doing family things. Their friendship strengthened, while their passion fell to the wayside. A week had passed, and it was probably one of the most active weeks she had ever had in her life. They got on a plane and traveled to so many landmarks that the world just blended together. The trip back was sad though, because Nora was going in for her surgery, to try to get the tumors removed.

After that everything got blurry again. She barely remembered going to the hospital and waiting for hours on end for the doctors to tell them something, or for her mom to come out of surgery. George was crying, she remembered that. She stared through him for a long time, thinking of life without her mom.

Something caught her attention. George was talking on the phone to someone.

"Yeah, they would be living with me…Don't worry about that…No, just a guardian…I don't know yet…" He bent over. Is he talking to my dad? "Yeah, she's here. Do you want to talk to her...Ok. I'll tell her…Okay…Okay…Bye." He closed the phone and looked at Casey. She sat up.

"What?"

"That was your father, he told me to tell you that if Nora doesn't make it, it's up to you if you want to stay with me. Lizzie has to stay where ever you choose though. I suggest you talk to her about it." Casey nodded her head and looked away. What should I choose? I don't know if I could bear to stay with George, Edwin, Marti…and Derek…But Lizzie wants to stay. She's so young, and I would be moving out after this school year. I guess I'll stay. Lizzie already said she wanted to stay. I'll tell my dad. I know he'll understand. He's lived without us for a while anyway.

That's all she could remember from sitting there. She knew Nora was dead, she could feel it, and she felt dead. From the beginning to the end, she hated all of it…The cocaine, then Jake trying to rape her, talking to Sam, them being steps, having sex, the tumors. She felt like kissing Derek had sealed her fate.

Casey felt like there was a hole in her heart. It made her feel empty, and hollow, and could hear an echo of everything in her head.

"I'm sorry Mr. Venturi…Your wife didn't make it through the surgery. We tried all we could." George and the kids weren't paying attention to anything the doctor was saying anymore. They were in tears…and Casey was silently crying to herself. She could feel herself falling and falling.

The days passed so slowly, and she felt like everything was just a cycle of events that kept repeating themselves over and over. Casey thought she was going to silently go insane. Everyone else tried to act normal, but Casey had let her cleanliness, healthiness, and her attitude disappeared from herself. Her room was a mess, she was wearing the same outfit as the day they went to the hospital, and she hadn't taken a shower since then either. Derek had tried to talk to her, but he had pretty much become invisible. Lizzie talked to her, but Casey wouldn't respond much. She looked to no one for strength, and hoped no one looked to her for it.

In some ways she blamed herself for her mom's death, and in others she blamed Derek. She knew she shouldn't blame any one, Nora wouldn't have wanted it, but it was so hard not to because if you can find a cause then you can try to make sure it doesn't happen again. So she tried not to be with Derek.

The wake was horrible. Her dad came and constantly hugged her, but she just wanted to be alone. Casey couldn't stop crying, and locked herself in the bathroom. When most people had left, she walked up to the open casket at the front of the church and looked over the body of her dead mother. The figure seemed so immovable that the body itself was distorted and twisted from the real world. She reached and opened her mom's eyes. They looked to the left past Casey. She moved to peer into them, but she couldn't feel her mom's soul.

Derek came up behind her and pushed Nora's eyelids down. He hugged Casey.

"It will be okay Casey." She pushed him away.

"No it won't." Casey said it so softly, that she barely heard herself.

"We love each other. Nora told me what you said to her. We have her blessing."

"Did she tell you that I prayed for a sign that we should be together?! It's pretty much my fault she is dead!" He started to say something, but she ran past him, past a small crowd listening in, and outside.

She didn't attend the funeral, because the wake was too much for her.

Casey kept to herself for most of the summer. Derek's withdrawals stopped, and he told her one day that he was thankful for her help. They would talk a lot when she wasn't in her room, but any time he tried to talk to her about 'them' she would walk away. He would try to kiss her here and there, but she was better at dodging now that she pretended more that she didn't want it, even though she did.

Emily talked to her on the phone sometimes, trying to get her out of her shell, but eventually gave up on her. Casey didn't know if it felt so good to have Emily give up, but then again she was the one pushing everyone away. Sam called to apologize about Nora's death, but she yelled in the phone saying he shouldn't apologize about something that wasn't his fault, it was hers.

School started and she was more focused then before on her homework. She started washing and cleaning again, so she didn't smell so funky. Her clothes got darker, and she regained her attitude. No one in the house liked it much, and when Paul started asking questions about it, she quit going.

Then things got worse. Derek saw cuts on her legs. He asked where they came from but she wouldn't say anything. She began to wear nothing but pants. One day, George confronted her about an army knife in her room. She denied everything he assumed, but they took her to a psychiatrist and a professional counselor. Casey was put on medication for severe depression.

The cutting didn't stop till winter, but she would always have the scars to bear on her legs. She began to talk to the counselor about her mom's death during spring break. Casey went there, drunk. It was routine for her to go, so she would end up driving herself there.

Then, when the summer began again, she started talking about what happened between her and Derek, and how she felt like everything was her fault and why.

The next step was to finally talk to Derek about it, but she didn't know if she could do it.