AN: Hey guy's, the love for the last chapter was amazing so thank you all so much :-) I'm really sorry for the delay on this one but work got really busy and I didn't have a lot of free time. Hope it's worth the wait though ;-) One last thing, to anyone wanting know what happens in the waking world during this chapter, all will be revealed in Chapter 22. Thanks to Zelena, Regina will hear and see exactly what transpired while she was fighting for her life ;-) All that remains to be said is, please forgive any minor mistakes, and let me know what you think :-)

My hand flies up to my chest where only moments ago a sword had been embedded deep in my heart. There's no gaping wound. No blood. No pain.

I feel nothing.

I open my eyes, expecting to see familiar surroundings - Henry's castle, the gardens at the town hall, Emma's Bug - but just like the fatal stab wound that has somehow disappeared, I find nothing.

I'm surrounded by darkness. A cold, empty void that smothers all light and sucks out all air. I'm alone. Thanatos has gone and I can't feel Emma's presence. The silence is deafening. The sense of emptiness, suffocating.

There were nights in the Enchanted Forest when my darkness – the hatred that festered inside every cell – sank me to depths that I never knew existed. I spent entire days in my chambers with the curtains drawn and the world blocked from view. I wallowed in my misery, walking the thin line between my drive for vengeance and downright insanity, but it never felt like this.

This is different. This has an undertow of finality to it. I'm trapped here. Stuck in this abyss with no chance of escape.

Am I dead? Is this hell? Is this the eternal punishment I face for causing so much suffering to so many people?

"You know exactly where you are!"

I spin around, searching for a body to go with the dark, disembodied voice but there isn't one because the voice is mine - or more accurately - the Evil Queens.

"This is what you always wanted."

The voice echoes around the wall less void, touching me from all sides. It consumes me, engulfs me, reverberates through every fibre of my being in its attempt to seduce me.

"This is what you strived for so many years to achieve. This is why you created me."

I turn again, spinning three hundred and sixty degrees in my search to find something – anything – that might explain what it is that I'm supposed to see. Only blackness stares back.

"I don't understand!" I call out, uncertain who I'm speaking to. Is this another one of Thanatos' tricks? A dream? Where exactly am I?

A low, dangerous chuckle crawls over me, "You never did," comes the mocking reply, "That's why you need me."

"Who are you?" I ask, disturbed by the disconcerting experience.

Another chuckle, "Oh you know exactly who I am, dear."

There's a bright flash to my right, a burst of light similar to a lightning bolt that temporarily gives me sight.

I realise that I'm in a room. An empty room, with a stone floor and brick walls. In the corner I catch sight of another figure, a hazy silhouette wearing an extravagant dress with a high collar, but the figure is a shadow, a ghost of the Evil Queen. She's lost to the returning darkness as soon as I see her.

I try to find some meaning in the obvious symbolism. I try to understand why an empty room and the haunting spectre of my alter ego is 'the thing that I've always wanted', but my mind draws blank.

"Am I dead?" I ask, fearing the answer but unable to offer any other explanation.

I hear the rustle of a dress as the shadow moves, unseen, to the opposite side of the room. "Not yet," She replies.

My gut tightens, "Am I dying?"

"Yes."

I frown, unable to comprehend why the Evil Queen would think death was something I sought. I have a son, a family…I have Emma. I have never had more reason to live then I do right now, my fight with Thanatos was never about that.

"I don't want to die!" I reply, wondering if fate can be changed by will alone.

She laughs, "Of course you don't, dear, no one does, but it catches us all out eventually."

I feel my anger rising, a rage born from fear and desperation, "Then what is it that you think I want?" I shout, my voice hollow in the empty room.

I can almost hear her half smile as she replies, "This!"

"What?" I scream, "This is nothing! This is emptiness, blackness, this is…this is…"

"This is true darkness, your only friend for many years. You sought it out like a starving man seeks food. You changed for it, became me in order to fully embrace it. You pushed everyone away, caused endless pain and suffering. You asked for its companionship and it heeded your request."

I shake my head, unable to accept what I'm hearing. Admittedly there was a time when what she's saying was true, but that time has gone. I've let in light – love - I offer forgiveness and show compassion…I help people….

"No," I reply, my voice firm, "I was that person but I'm not anymore. I left the darkness behind when I stopped fighting against the world and everyone in it. I'm happy now…"

"Are you?"

The question angers me and I clench my fists, my jaw setting tight, "Yes!"

She scoffs, "You live in a town where the citizens fear you. You're the mother of a son who doesn't need you. You're in love with a woman who didn't chose you, and you're tormented by the sins of your past…"

"That's not true…" I cut in, my tone sharp. Though if I'm brutally honest my words are hypocritical. I can't deny that her cruel statement contains a string of thoughts that I've, at some point, recently entertained.

"Isn't it?" She argues, stepping behind me until she's so close that I can feel her presence brush across the nape of my neck. "You say that you've left your darkness behind but it's still in everything you do. I'm in everything you do."

I tense, filled with disgust at such a thought, "You're no longer in control of me," I reply through clenched teeth.

She laughs again, a noise that is so familiar but at the same time, sounds foreign to me. "Is that so?" She asks, "Then why did you lock yourself away in our vault, dear?"

There's another flash of light as candelabra's of varying sizes appear from nowhere, bathing the room in soft candlelight. Instantly I realise that I'm no longer in an empty, square box but back in my vault. It's decorated the same as when I left it, but a few unwelcome additions have appeared. A fire burns in the open fire place, the faux fur rug lying directly in front, but the Evil Queens dresses are now prominently on display, and the silence has been replaced with the eerie beating of several enchanted hearts.

"I was trying to protect the town," I reply, finally finding my voice amongst the confusion.

I hear footsteps, sense movement, and before I know it the Evil Queen is stood in front of me in all her glory. Only she's no longer a shadowy silhouette, her form has gained colour and substance, she's as real as I.

She glares at me from heavily made-up eyes, the mask she wore to hide her vulnerabilities from the rest of the world. "From what?" She demands.

I shrug, thinking the answer self-explanatory, "From the damage my heart was causing…"

"…from the darkness that is still inside of you," She angrily corrects.

I shake my head, "No!"

Her eyes narrow dangerously and I come to realise just how terrifying a foe she truly is. "When your heart began to fail your first thought was that the death of your lover was turning you dark," she informs, her words the mirror that I refuse to gaze into. "You thought that I was returning to wreak havoc on those you supposedly care about…"

I grit my teeth, "There's no supposedly about it," I reply, unwilling to allow her to so carelessly disregard my feelings.

I do care about them, all of them, even Snow and Charming. I'm not the woman she used to know and I'm determined to prove that to her.

She grins, that cocky, self-important smirk that I used to utilise so much, "If you truly cared for someone, you would never harm them," she cleverly points out.

"That's rich coming from you," I huff incredulously, "you killed your own father…"

She shakes her head and smiles almost sadly, "No dear, you killed your own father." She takes a step towards me so that we're nose to nose, her dark, hate filled eyes burning into me, "When will you accept that we are one and the same. We need each other."

"I need nothing from you!"

Her smile widens, a fire ball forming on her upturned palm, unthreateningly. "How many times have you saved the day with your magic?" She asks, mesmerised by the flicker of the flame in her hand. "Need I remind you that your magic is dark; it comes from me."

Determined to prove my point I conjure my own magic but instead of my usual fireball, this just appears as a white mist. "I have light magic now too…" I reply.

Her eyes flick across to my hand, "Yes," She agrees, supressing a laugh when my magic quickly sputters and dies, "barely. But you wouldn't be where you are today without me."

With a wave of her hand the fireball is distinguished and she stalks over to the fireplace, "Who turned your weakness into strength when our mother used to bully us?" She asks. "Who turned your pain to anger when Daniel died and your depression threatened to consume us both?"

She paces back to me, "Who brought you to Storybrooke and the arms of your Saviour?"

I have no answer, none that I wish to verbalise anyway, and so I remain silent. But the silence only fuels her drive.

"Darkness is what you wanted," She continues, "it's who you are. Take comfort from it now, in the hour of your death."

I take a deep breath, the fight draining from my body at the finality of her words, "You're right," I reply, lacking the strength to continue denying what I've always known. "Darkness is a part of me and I was wrong to wish it otherwise." I shake my head, "But it isn't all I am. It's true that I need my magic to protect those that I love. I need the darkness inside me to get from day to day. I need you."

My gaze drifts over her extravagant gown and regal pose to settle on her smug expression, "But I also need me," I add, truthfully. "I need the insecure princess who is terrified to fall in love. The mother who would do anything for her son. The mayor who would risk life and limb for her friends and her town."

Our eyes meet, and I briefly wonder if I'm the first ever person to literally see into their own soul. She seems to read my mind, a perfectly plausible situation given the circumstances, and her expression softens to something more commonly resembling my own.

"Then stop fighting me," She replies, the malice having left her voice completely. "You said you stopped fighting the world but you never stopped fighting yourself. When you embrace me - accept me - then everyone else will accept me too."

She takes a single step back and waves her hand, the room once again falls into complete darkness.

"This is darkness in its truest form," She explains, "It's empty, black, and above all, lonely."

The light comes back and we're back in the vault, but everything that belonged to the Evil Queen – the dresses, the hearts, the potions – have gone.

She points at me, "You are goodness in its truest form. Scared, weak, willing to risk your own life for someone else's happiness. But if Emma Swan has taught us anything at all, it's that when you combine the two you get True Love."

She closes the distance between us once more, her voice dropping to a whisper, "Learn to love yourself, Regina. Learn to love me." Amazingly, she offers me a warm, affectionate smile, "Therein lies your happy ending."

With a click of her fingers she disappears and the vault disappears with her. In the blink of an eye I find myself back at the deserted Acropolis, and suddenly the pain rushes back.

I drop to my knees, my hand reaching for the gaping wound in my chest as I desperately try to stem the flow of blood.

"Regina!?"

It's Emma, and the mere sound of her voice comforts me somehow. It chases away the cold biting through to my very bones and it fills my rapidly failing body with warmth.

She drops to her knees at my side, pulling me across her lap to cradle my head lovingly in her arms. Her green eyes are fraught with fear, her hand quickly covering mine to press against the fatal wound in my chest.

"What happened?" She asks frantically, "Where did you go?"

I think of the empty room, my vault, and the strange conversation with my alter ego… No, she isn't my alter ego, she's the other half to my whole.

"I don't know…" I reply, the words cutting off sharply as I wince in pain.

Her gaze flicks to my wound, tear filled eyes studying the blood that now stains both our skin, "Thanatos he…"

I nod, reaching up with my free hand to gently stroke her cheek, "I know," I reply.

I don't need to hear her account of how he stabbed me with his sword in a desperate, final attempt to claim victory. Just as I don't need a conversation with myself in order to know that he won.

The other me said that I was dying, and now I know that she was right. I can feel it, a deep, dull, ache in my heart, a faint echo of what's transpiring in the waking world.

Another ripple of pain passes through me and I gasp, closing my eyes until it eases. I open them when I realise that I can no longer feel Emma's cheek against my fingertips, and with deep sadness see that it's because my image is beginning to fade away once more.

Emma notices it too, "No!" She cries, the first tears escaping her eyelids to slowly roll down her cheek. "No, no no, no, no! Gina, please," She begs and the pain in her voice hurts far more than any physical wound ever could, "I don't know what this is or what it means but you are going to wake up."

I offer her weak smile and slowly shake my head, "Emma…"

"Don't you dare Emma, me!" She orders, her voice a harsh bark as the tears begin to roll freely, "Not now, not in that tone. This is a dream, nothing more. You can't be hurt in a dream!"

More than anything I wish that were true, especially now, but I knew the risks when I first challenged Thanatos at the well and I know that nothing can be done. At least I'll take some solace in dying in the arms of my True Love.

I cough slightly, speckling her flawless face with flecks of blood, "He has the power to kill in dreams," I gently remind.

"But not like this," She argues, her determination as fierce as ever, "He has to drain your life force and he tried and failed."

She reaches for the hand I've left hovering over her cheek but her own passes straight through it. Her expression crumples, heartbroken, "Somewhere, in the waking world, you're lying on the couch at Snow's," She informs, giving me the most loving smile. "Your perfectly unharmed and you haven't been stabbed." She takes a deep, shuddering breath, "So whatever this is, it isn't real. We're both going to wake up."

"My heart…"

She shoots my argument down before I can even express it, and it's then that I realise that she understands the truth as much as I do, she just can't bring herself to face it. "…Is fine!" She protests weakly, "It's still in your chest and its fine…"

I feel my own tears fall, "My heart is dying, Emma!"

"No!" She shouts, as though blind will alone could defeat death itself, "No. Listen to me, whatever he did to you it's a trick. You're at my parent's house and you're uninjured. Now wake up…please!"

I shake my head, wishing more than anything that I could touch her just one more time, "I don't think I can!"

"Regina!" She begs.

"I'm sorry," I reply, "Whatever he did, it affected me in the waking world. I can feel it."

I stare deep into her eyes, desperate to remember every fleck and shade of green, "I never wanted this to happen," I explain, determined to make her understand that if nothing else. "I just wanted to do the right thing for once. Please tell Henry that I'm sorry. Tell him that I love him…" Another wave of pain encompasses me and I fight back the approaching darkness, aware that I'm nearing the end, "Tell him that I always will…"

A single tear runs down the end of Emma's nose and drops of the end, passing straight through me to land on the soft denim of her skin tight jeans.

"You can tell him yourself because you're going to wake up," She replies, grasping onto the tail of a dream with all her strength. "What we shared, it might have been rough and desperate…" She laughs, "…and several years overdue…but it was real. I want that again. I want to make love to you. I want to take my time and worship every inch of your beautiful body." She sniffs as a fresh wave of tears begin to fall, "Regina, I want you…please don't give up on us now."

Oh how I wish I had the strength and the power to defy fate and the circle of life, but I don't. I smile sadly, tasting the salty tang of my tears, "I don't think I have much of a choice in the matter…" I reply regretfully.

"Yes, you do," She argues, as headstrong as always. It's one of the things I love most about her. "You may have forgotten what Zelena once said to you but I haven't. She said you had the propensity to love the deepest, that you had the most resilient heart. Draw strength from that love, find that resilience, and damned well wake up!"

The pain seems to numb, to fade into the background with her words but I know that's not a good thing. The world around me is starting to shimmer, fading in and out as blissful unconsciousness beckons. I shake my head.

"I can't…"

"Yes you can," She replies, "You're the most stubborn person I know. Of all the horrors that have happened in your past you have never let anyone decide your fate. Don't let Thanatos be the first one to do that, don't give him the power."

She curls over me, as though to hug me to her, but then quickly remembers that she can't and pulls back at the final moment, "Come on, Baby," She pleads, her voice strained with raw emotion, "You say that you're strong - a fighter – so fight! Wake up and live!"

My eyes drift closed briefly and when I find the strength to open them, the world around us has begun to fade away. The buildings of the Acropolis slowly melt into the approaching darkness, all colour blurring together before melting away.

I glance to her perfect face one last time, "Emma I…." but the words die on a breath and my eyes slide shut…

"Regina? No…."

xxx

"Mom?"

I hear my sons voice before I see him and it's a strange, unexpected, happy, sound. When I finally remember how to open my eyes I do just that, and am surprised to find his concerned, hazel gaze staring back at me.

"Henry!?" I exclaim, shocked and confused as to why I'm looking at the relieved face of my son when I just died.

I did just die, didn't I?

I don't get time to contemplate my answer as he breaks into one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen and launches himself at me. Wrapping his arms around my neck as he hugs me tight, "Mom…."

I return his heartfelt embrace, closing my eyes and squeezing back, just grateful to be alive, but I find myself pulled back to the present by another familiar voice.

"Regina?" I open my eyes, peering over the shoulder of my son to see Snow's head appear from around a pillar. She smiles warmly at me, her shoulders relaxing, "Oh thank, God."

It's then that I realise exactly where I am. I'm in Snow and Charming's loft, lying in the same bed I found myself in after my run in with Greg Mendel. Emma was right.

I clear my throat, trying to shake my sense of disorientation but it doesn't help, "Let's not thank any gods," I reply, my dry throat suggesting that I've probably been unconscious for a while. "If a certain God had got his way then I'm pretty certain I wouldn't be here right now"

A shiver passes through me at the memory of my fight with Thanatos and I reluctantly release Henry to push myself up into a sitting position.

"What happened?" I ask, unclear how I went from dying at the Acropolis, to here.

Suddenly remembering my injury, I glance under my shirt to look my chest. I'm met with the smooth, unblemished skin of my breastbone and surprised to discover that for the first time in weeks, my heart doesn't ache. In truth, I feel fantastic, the picture of health.

Sensing my confusion, Henry leans forward to take my hand in his, "You nearly died, Mom," he explains softly. "You fell asleep in your vault and Ma couldn't wake you. When aunty Zelena explained that you'd challenged Thanatos in an attempt to save Hook's life, Ma joined you in your dream to try and help you beat him, but when she woke up, you didn't, and…"

I quickly glance around the small loft, searching for the blonde I remember clinging to in my dreams, but she isn't here. I try to mask the feeling of disappointment that rushes over me at such a realisation. "Where is she?" I ask, interrupting Henry without a second thought, "Where's, Emma?"

An emotion that's difficult to place washes over Snow's face. It's not one I'm familiar with, a sort of mix between sympathy and hope. "She's with, Killian," She briskly replies, "She stayed here until you were out of danger, until we knew for sure that you'd pull through…"

The rest of her sentence fades into the background as cruel reality comes crashing forth. She's with Killian, her one-handed pirate lover. The man I saved so that she could live happily ever after.

Well I guess she made her choice!

"She went back to him…" The exclamation is unintended, and as soon as my words are out I regret saying them. Snow's face seems to soften even further, and Henry's grip on my hand subtly increases.

I wonder how much they know.

"She wanted to be here," Snow replies, quick to defend her precious daughter, "But they had some things they needed to discuss."

My mind flicks back to that night in my vault, a night that to me feels like yesterday but in reality, could be weeks ago. Does Hook know what we did? Has Emma told him? Has she apologised and far more importantly, has he accepted?

My jaw clenches, a lifelong trait that I adopted to hide my emotions, and I feel an enraged jealousy begin to bubble within, "I'll bet they did!" I growl.

My son shares a look with his grandmother, a knowing glance that indicates they just listened to the voice of the Evil Queen. But as I've so recently discovered, it wasn't the voice of her, it was mine. We are one person - a shared entity – and her strength will carry me through this latest heartbreak.

"Mom," Henry carefully begins, his caring voice breaking through the mist of pain, "Why are you angry?"

I look at him, smiling softly as I stroke my thumb over the back of his hand. "I'm not angry, sweetheart," I reply, guarding myself against further humiliation, "I'm just a little tired. I should probably go home and get some rest."

"But don't you want to know…"

He begins what I assume will be an animated retelling of how Emma rode in to save the day. A tale of how she barged her way into my dreams, successfully challenged the God of death where I failed, and then returned home to her handsome pirate captain. But it's not a story that I want to hear, for me, it's a fairy-tale that's just a little too bitter to stomach.

I cut him off with a shake of my head, "I think I can figure it out for myself, Henry," I inform, my voice kind despite my displeasure. "I assure you an explanation isn't necessary."

I affectionately ruffle his hair and shakily stand up. I still feel weak and a little mentally foggy, but I need to get home before my tears start to fall and my anger takes over.

I waver slightly on my feet, and my imbalance doesn't go unnoticed.

"Regina, you're family," Snow starts, reaching out a hand to steady me, "please stay here and recuperate. I can look after you until you're back on your feet, Emma too. I don't like the thought of you being all alone in that mansion…"

While her offer is kind and in truth, appreciated, the thought of having to watch Emma and her pirate nauseates me. In a bid to protect my already fragile heart, I turn to the Queen for a scathing response.

"You of all people should know that I've never needed anyone to look after me," I reply, rejecting her generous offer with a dismissive wave of my hand. "And as for being a part of your family, that is the one thing that I have never been. I appreciate the role you played in my recovery, Snow, but I'd prefer to return home now."

Regaining my balance, I grab for my jacket which has been haphazardly thrown over a nearby chair. I shrug it on.

"Mom, can I come and see you?" Henry asks, following me to the door with Snow close behind.

I turn to face him, gripping his shoulders in a reassuring, loving, gesture, "In a few days, Henry," I reply, having no intention of pushing my son away when I so very nearly lost him for good. "I'm still quite weak. Just give me a few days, okay?"

He smiles warmly, "Okay. I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, darling,"

I lean forward to gently kiss his forehead, thanking whatever force allowed me to return to him, and turn towards the door.

"Regina!" Snow calls out, stopping my hand before it can reach for the door handle. With a frustrated roll of my eyes, I turn back to face her.

"What now, Snow!"

She gives Henry a pointed glance and raises her eyebrows in silent instruction. Being the intelligent one of the Charming family, my son gets the message and hastily retreats to the living room to give us a few moments of privacy.

When her gaze returns to me, its soft and caring, a look that suggests I won't like whatever she's about to say.

"I just wanted to say thank you," She begins quietly, "What you did for Killian and Emma, it was…"

I feel the anger rising inside me once more, the mere mention of their names enough to make my blood boil, and cut her off before she can finish. "…What anyone would do!" I reply.

She tilts her head to one side, studying me carefully, "No," She argues, her voice lacking malice, "It was what any hero would do."

She gives me a smile that is rarely directed my way, one filled with genuine warmth, "The young woman that rescued me from my horse that day…" She shakes her head and laughs, as though she can't quite believe what she's about to say, "…well it's good to finally get to meet her again."

For a moment I'm speechless, having never thought I'd ever hear Snow elude to who I was before this all began. But maybe that was the real reason for my fight with Thanatos. Maybe self-love was the love I was destined to find.

I sacrificed myself to give Emma the choice to love who she chose and she didn't choose me. Today I lost her, but I also found my self-worth, and now together I'm confident that the Queen and I will get over this latest heartbreak.

I offer Snow a small, tight smile, and without looking back, open the door to exit the loft.