"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."
~Edgar Allan Poe
"I love you..." he heard Evie say. Spencer replayed the words over and over in his mind. "I love you, I love you, I love you..." , but he couldn't bring himself to say 'I love you too'. His mouth wouldn't move no matter how much he willed it to. He tried his legs, his arms, his hands, his fingers, and even his eyes, but nothing would move. He was trapped in a deep abyss filled with nothing but darkness and the sound of Evie's voice talking to him.
Where was he? What happened? Why did it sound like Evie was crying?
Don't cry... Spencer thought, wanting her to hear him but knowing she couldn't. He could imagine her face as she sat next to him, her eyes red, her hair spilling over half of her face He longed to see her, to hold her, to assure her everything was going to be alright. He just couldn't move though. It ws like he was stuck in a never ending nightmare where he could reach out for Evie but he couldn't get to her. He fell just a bit short every time.
"It has to be nice and open, with nice hardwood floors." Evie said, explaining how their first house would be. Spencer smiled, not physically but mentally as he listened to her.
And lots of bookshelves. He thought to himself as if he were talking to her.
"There will be a lot of big windows to show off our gorgeous landscaping."
And a fireplace to cuddle by.
"A deck to sit out on in the Summer."
Hot tub too?
"A room for each of the kids. We can paint them ourselves!"
Riiiight, because I definitely know how to paint...
"A reallllly nice master bathroom because I need my space in the morning! And a nice big shower, for Mommy and Daddy." Evie added. Spencer could hear the smile playing on her lips.
Yeah... I'd like that. He thought, imagining having a family with Evie. It was all he ever wanted now. He really was the luckiest person alive, despite the fact he was nearly tortured to death a while ago. He wasn't even sure how long ago it was. He could barely remember the FBI barging in the last second. Spencer was sure if they didn't when they did, he'd be dead by now. Being in a strange deep sleep, coma ordeal was better than dead. At least he could hear her voice.
"I love you so much, Spence." Evie said again. Reid became even more determined this time. He had to let her know that he loved her too. How could he do that, though? Spencer concentrated on moving his hand. If he could actually feel the muscles in his face, his eyebrows would be furrowed with concentration. He was sure that he just remained motionless however.
Spencer could feel Evie's hand in his own. He was so close, so close to being able to just barely move it, he could feel it. It was one of the most frustrating experiences.
Come on, come on... he thought to himself. With all of the energy he had, Spencer thought about his hand wrapped and Evie's and he could've sworn he moved his index finger just the slightest bit. Evie reinforced his belief.
"Spence?" she whispered, grabbing onto his hand tighter. The weight of her head on his pillow lifted, and he could feel her hair brush up against his cheek as she peered down at him. What he'd give to just open his eyes to stare into her beautful gray ones. "Spencer, can you hear me."
Yes, yes I promise I can hear you. I'm trying, Evs. He longed to say. Instead he remained still, all of the energy sucked out of him from when he barely moved his finger. When a response from Spencer didn't come, Evelyn sighed and lied back down on the pillow next to Spencer. He wanted to ask her to just wrap her arm around him. She wouldn't hurt him. His body was too numb for that. He knew that Evelyn would be terrified of harming him though, so he could definitely take holding hands with gratitude.
Spencer mentally sighed and decided to try moving his hand again. He conjured up everything he had in him, trying so hard to just get the slightest of movement. This time, it was taking even more energy than before. Spencer felt himself slipping into an even deeper abyss, further and further away from Evie.
No, no, no... he thought. His mind clouded further and darker and darker it got. Spencer imagined the sight of Evie one last time before slipping into nothing.
"Hey, how's our boy doing?" Morgan asked upon entering the room. It was around nine o'clock now, and the team was just returning from the restaurant they had gone to down the street. Derek came in carrying a bag with two foam boxes in it. He waltzed across the room and handed it to Evie.
"He's alright. I could've sworn I felt him move just a little a while ago." she filled him in. "Thank you, by the way." She added, taking the boxed food in her lap.
"I hope you like thai." he said, pulling up a seat next to Evie to watch Spencer lie there. They sat in silence save for the sound of Evie wrestling with the process of opening the food boxes. She finally got them open, steam rising from the sweet and sour chicken and noodles.
"Looks good, I'm starving." she said, looking for a fork at the bottom of the bag. Morgan nodded his head towards the other box that remained unopened.
"I got another box for Pretty Boy if he ever decides to wake up." he said. "I don't suppose that IV needle is quite as satisfactory." Evie smiled at him before glancing over at Spencer.
"Hopefully that'll be soon." She said longingly as more people entered the room. JJ came in first, a rushed expression on her face, followed by Garcia and Emily.
"Hey, how is he?" JJ asked. Evie answered with the same thing she told Morgan. The girls nodded and looked down sadly at Spence. Evie didn't know why they all did that so much. She supposed they were waiting for the one time they looked at him and his eyes finally fluttered open again, his beautiful brown orbs staring up at everyone with adorable confusion.
"I've got to get back to Will and Henry. I wish I could stay longer. I'll be back to visit tomorrow." JJ said, looking at Evie with a mixture of regret on her face. Evelyn shook her head to tell Jayge not to worry about it. She was a mom and needed to get back to her family.
JJ bent down to wrap her arms around Evie who gratefully hugged her back. She then moved to Emily, and then Garcia, and then Morgan until she approached Spencer's bedside and leaned down to kiss the top of his head.
"Get better soon, Spence." Evie heard her whisper. JJ gave the remaining team members in the room an encouraging smile before she slung her bag over her shoulder and walked out of the room. Morgan groaned as he stretched, breaking the silence and leaning back in his chair with a tired look on his face.
"I think I'll get a hotel near here to stay close to the kid." he grumbled, rubbing his hands over the tired features of his face. Garcia nodded, her eyes still laced with as much concern as before. That woman never stopped worrying.
"Me too. But before that, do you want me to go grab you and Spencer some clothes and essentials?" Pen asked, looking at Evie with raised eyebrows. Evie had never seen her with such little make-up before. It had all been washed away from all of the crying that had previously taken place. Evie shook the thoughts from her head, not wanting to think about it at the moment.
"That'd be great, Pen. Do you need a key? I'm afraid I don't have one on me." Evie said, looking around the room although she didn't know what she possibly was going to find. Her and Spencer had been brutally kidnapped from their apartment... it didn't really cross her mind to bring a key with her.
"It should be fine since it's been turned into a crime scene." Emily said, looking from Garcia to Evie. "I'll come with you. We won't be back until midnight however. Hang tight." Emily finished as she pulled her black coat on and buttoned it up all the way over her deep maroon shirt. They said goodbye one last time before leaving Derek and Evie alone.
"Where's Hotch and Rossi?" Evelyn asked, looking over at Morgan whose head was tilted back, his eyes closed.
"The board needed a full report from Hotch ASAP, and Rossi went to help him with it back in Quantico." he answered, fatigue in his voice. "I'm going to go see if I can get our visiting hours extended to overnight." Morgan said, pushing himself off of his chair with one last raise of an eyebrow to Evie. She pressed her lips together in a thin line and nodded, watching him go out. She was suddenly hit with how tired she was. Evie lied her head down on the bed next to Spencer's own and closed her eyes, promising herself she'd just relax, not fall asleep. However, within less than two minutes, she was out like a light.
"Morning, babe." Spencer heard a voice say, coming out from his dreams of mixed images and sounds. He felt a hand on his forehead, brushing light feather hair away from his eyes, tickling his skin. Reid sighed in his head, realizing it was his gorgeous girlfriend. He must've been at home in bed. It was probably almost time for work.
With this in mind, Spence tried to open his eyes. It didn't work. Why couldn't he open his eyes! He tried his arms, his hands, his legs... Nothing would move! Where was he, why couldn't he move?
Suddenly everything rushed back to him. The heightening beeping of the heart monitor was a pretty good reminder as well. He let himself calm down so that the beeping would slow to a normal rate. Evie held his hand, and squeezed lightly.
"You there, Spence?" she asked, hope strong in her voice making Spencer feel guilty. He was right back to where he started. He desperately wanted to let her know she heard everything she was saying and that he was okay, but he just had to accept the fact that he wasn't strong enough. "Maybe later." she whispered, disappointment strong in her voice instead. Reid felt a pang of guilt course through him, but he let it go.
"So Emily and Garcia brought us some stuff from home late last night. I had already fallen asleep. I um... I called and asked them to bring some books so I could read to you." she said. Reid felt himself get excited, happiness taking over his body for the first time in a while. He loved when she read to him. He just focused on her gorgeous voice and he instantly always felt home.
"Alright, let's see here..." she said. Spencer heard the squeak of the chair as Evie sat down next to his bed. A light weight sunk into the bed besides him. Spencer guessed those were the books. It was strange focusing on other senses that always took a backseat to sight. "I've got Moby Dick, A Tale of Two Cities, and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer." she said, picking up and putting down each book that she called out.
Mmmm... Charles Dickens. Spencer thought. Those never failed.
"Wasn't Charles Dickens your favorite author when you were little?" Evie asked, more to herself. Spencer smiled to himself. It was like he didn't even need to talk. She already nearly read his mind. When Spencer not so surprisingly didn't answer, Evie took two books off the bed and Spence heard her place them on what seemed like a table next to the bed by his head. "Okay. Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens it is." Evie concluded. Reid listened to the familiar sound of an old book opening, the binding creaking in protest. He could almost smell the pages of the book. He felt so much more relaxed already.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the season of Light..." Evie read in her reading voice that Spencer loved listening to. He repeated the same words in his head as she read, recognizing every line and loving it all the better as Evie said the words. His inability to move was frustrating, but if anything in the world could make it better, it was this.
"There were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a plain face..." Evie carried on.
...on the throne of England. Spencer thought along with her words.
"There was a king with a large jaw and a queen with a fair face..."
...on the throne of France.
"In both countries it was clearer than crystal to the lords of the State preserves of loaves and fishes..."
...that things in general were settled for ever. Spencer thought. It went on like this until half of the book was finished, and Spence loved every moment.
"Mommy, hurry!" Spencer heard a familiar voice a few hours later. He wasn't quite sure of times. It felt like it had been a few hours though.
"Go on, Aunt Evie is in there." JJ's voice came from out in the hallway. Spencer's heart rate picked up from excitement. Henry! She had brought Henry to see him! He heard the little guy run across the floor in most likely his light up sneakers. There was the sound of a chair being pulled up next to Spence's bed.
"Up you go." Evie's strained voice came as she probably lifted Henry into the chair. He heard small breathing patterns from beside him and knew it was Henry. He imagined his big eyes looking at Spencer, his blond hair covering one eye.
"Is Uncle Spence okay?" he whispered like Spencer was sleeping and he didn't want to wake him.
"He'll be okay, sweetheart." JJ's voice said. "You know what makes boo boo's better, Henry?"
"Hugs and kisses!" Henry said excitedly. Spencer felt small arms wrap around his torso and Henry gently hugged him with his small body. He wished he could smile right then. He was filled with warmth from he happiness created by his godson. Man he loved that kid.
"That's right." JJ laughed. Spencer felt Jayge lean over him and kiss his forehead. They visited for a while. Spencer would've loved to stay and listen, but he was getting tired. He just wanted to sleep. The last thing he heard before he did was,
"I drew you a picture, Uncle Spence!"
"That looks great, Henry!" Evie said, looking at the picture he drew for Spencer. It was a picture of a stick figure version of JJ, Will, Garcia, Henry, Evie, and Spencer all holding hands in a grass area with what looked like flying apples.
"Those are hearts!" Henry said, pointing to the mistaken apples. Evie had an "aha" moment and nodded.
"Ahhh, I see! Spence will love it. We'll put it right here for when he wakes up. Sound like a plan?" she asked, straightening to stand in front of the bulletin board hanging on the wall besides Spencer's bed. She took a tack from a small container on the nightstand table and attached it to the board.
"That's good!" Henry said, excitedly clapping his hands together. He jumped up and down on his chair and then plopped down on the edge of Spencer's bed. Evie and JJ watched as Henry placed a small hand on Spencer's shoulder. He quieted suddenly, becoming solemn as if he knew his Uncle wasn't quite alright.
"When will he wake up?" he asked quietly. JJ looked up at Evie from where she sat filling out papers on the other side of the room. Evie grimaced and shrugged. JJ stood and went to pick up Henry in her arms from behind. He squealed in surprise, giggling as she tickled his sides.
"Whenever he feels better!" she said, trying to keep her voice light and happy. Henry wriggled in her arms, giggling along with the way she tickled him. JJ spun him around, making Henry laugh harder until she put him down on the floor. He was breathing hard from the tickle fight as he walked back to Spencer's bedside.
"Feel better, Uncle Spence." he whispered like it was some exclusive secret just between him and Spencer. Evie and JJ smiled at each other. Evelyn loved having Henry there. He brightened every room, no matter the occasion.
Eventually, Henry and JJ left and Garcia and Derek visited. Emily came after that. Throughout the entire time, Spencer never moved once. It was really starting to worry Evelyn. What if he never woke up? What if he was in a coma forever?
She knew she was overreacting, but she couldn't help it. After watching what Spencer had gone through, how could she not? To keep her nerves down, she just kept reading to him. She finished the Charles Dickens book and carried on to Moby Dick around dinner time.
"Hey, thought you might want some grub." Rossi's voice came from behind Evie while she was reading from the book in her hands. She turned to see Hotch and Rossi in the doorway with more boxed food. She smiled and let her head fall backwards as she groaned.
"Thank god. I cannot stand anymore hospital food." she said, smiling as they handed her what turned out to be Italian food.
"Thank you, where's this from?" she asked, looking up to Rossi and Hotch who were pulling up chairs around her.
"My kitchen." Rossi said, making Hotch smirk. Evie's eyes went wide as she took a bite of what seemed to be veal.
"You made this? This is amazing!" she said, way too excited about her food. They didn't understand how amazing it tasted after having pre-made ham sandwich after sandwich. Even without the enhancement compared to hospital food, it tasted delicious.
"I try." Rossi said, faking his modesty. Evie smiled at him and took another bite of her food. Thank god for their friends. Without them visiting constantly, Evie would most definitely break down from the stress of Spencer being stuck in a deep sleep, his body all broken. The entire day, he hadn't waken. Hotch was able to convince the hospital to allow Evie to sleep over again. FBI had many additional perks. She read to him until she couldn't see straight that night. It helped her keep her mind off things. Around eleven PM, her eyes closed and she let herself fall to sleep, her arms and head wresting next to Spencer's chest.
Morning... Was it morning? Spencer could hear the sound of Evie messing with tin foil. She was probably eating breakfast. It was difficult keeping track when you were wallowing alone in darkness. He wasn't alone though, he reminded himself. Evie never left his side.
He felt stronger today. He felt almost refreshed. At the same time, however, he was starting to feel the pain of his injuries. His chest ached and it felt harder to breathe than usual. The cuts in his arms and chest burned, and his back tingled from the burns, on the verge of stinging. He could tell the medicine was starting to wear off. The pain was bearable though.
"Hi Spence." he heard Evs whisper to him. "Morning, sunshine." she said, repeating what he had said every morning to her ever since he said it the first time she woke up to find Spencer making breakfast in her old kitchen. Spencer smiled at this... wait... Spencer actually smiled at this. He felt the corner of his lips move... Spencer's heart picked up speed. He let hope build up in him. Could he, maybe...
Spencer took a deep breath and thought of Evie... and then he opened his eyes.
A/N: Thanks so much for the super nice reviews and all the followers and favoriters! There are two more chapters left in this story, then there will be a second one! Thanks for everyone who has followed through to the end!