Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

And here we go with some more bullshit. Since it was giving me so much trouble, I decided to simply skim over the trial scene. Sorry for those who wanted to see that. Enjoy!

Chapter 21

Well, this is quite the conundrum. I had no idea whether I should be focusing on my Godfathers trile or the fact that a FUCKING FALLEN ANGEL was sitting across the room from me. It had been a few minutes since I'd met Azazel and the perverted old Angel had done something to Frank and Tonks that resulted in them forgetting my (completely reasonable) reaction to figuring out who he was and his wings. To be fair, they had pulled their wands on him, but people sprouting wings isn't exactly normal, even in the Wizarding World. After he'd done that, he'd sauntered off with the promise that he'd be keeping an eye on me and expected great things from me, a statement that scared me even more than the idea of Zelretch letting Ruby loose in Hogwarts.

"Oh god, bad thoughts!" I yelped, shaking my head.

"Are you OK Harry?" asked Frank, "You've been out of it for a while."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, "So, whats going on?"

"Well, Phoenix has basically obliterating the opposition and even managed to slap Bagnold and Crouch with accusations of illegal imprisonment. Now Dumbledores making a fool of himself."

"Eh?"

"He's currently making the argument that Alice and I are unsuitable guardians for you thanks to our time in St Mungo's," said Frank.

"But...Alice is just my Magical Guardian," I said, "Grandpa is my actual Guardian, right?"

"Thats why hes making an ass of himself," said Frank, "He brought up the fact hes a Muggle, but since he's the one who left you with the Dursleys…"

"And just where would you propose Mr Potter be left instead?" asked the Judge.

"Why, with his Muggle relatives of course," said Dumbledore with a kind smile, "Family is important and he will be safe there."

There was complete and utter silence as everyone in the room stared at Dumbledore as they tried to figure out how in the hell me being with the Dursleys was any different than being with Grandpa. Even the diehard Dumbledore supporters were giving him looks that suggested they thought he was going around the twist.

"Right, thats it," said the Judge, "Case dismissed. The Longbottoms have been found mentally sound by a accredited Mind Healer and as Mrs Longbottom is Mr Potters sworn Godmother, we have no legal recourse to change that. Court adjourned."

He flicked his wand and the judges podium went dark as everyone else in the room started filling out.

"Well, that was interesting," said Frank, "Come on Harry."

He led me out of the courtroom and into a side chamber where we found Sirius talking with a man in Healer robes. As we entered, Sirius looked over and his eyes widened. The Healer glanced over and smiled.

"I'll leave you alone," he said, "I'll see you tomorrow Lord Black."

He gave a polite nod and left.

"Have fun," said Frank as he shut the door, leaving Sirius and I alone.

For a moment, Sirius and I just stared at each other. Then Sirius opened his mouth.

"If you say I look like Mum and Dad, I'll hex you," I said.

Sirius blinked, then snorted.

"Yeah, I guess you must get that a lot," he said, "Now quit standing around and sit down."

I took the seat across from him. The awkward silence once more fell over the room until Sirius spoke up again.

I'm sorry," he said.

I blinked in confusion

"What are you apologizing for?" I asked.

"For being a complete idiot," said Sirius, "I...I made a promise to my blood brother that I would protect you, take care of you if something happened to them, but I blew it! I should have taken you from Godrics Hollow that Night instead of going after Pettigrew!"

He looked up at me with pleading eyes.

"I know I have no right to ask this of you, but please, give me another chance to make it up to you."

I stared at him for a moment, before I let out a huff and gave a rueful smile.

"I guess I should have seen that coming," I said, "But you don't need to worry, I don't blame you. You did what you thought was best at the time, its not your fault that Bagnold and Crouch were paranoid and Dumbledore wanted you out of the way."

Sirius scowled at the mention of the old man, but didn't say anything. Instead, we spent some time talking and getting to know one another.

After the trial, the rest of the holidays flew by. Sirius spent most of it in St Mungo's undergoing treatment for 10 years of Dementor exposure, but considering I spent most of it working my way through my course books (minus Lockharts stuff obviously. Not only were they useless, but they were extremely poorly written to the point where they made 50 Shades of Gray look like Shakespeare), I had plenty to do. He did manage to show up for the trip to the Platform though.

One trip through the Floo later and we met up with Hermione at the platform as she passed through the Barrier. Considering we were early, it didn't take long to find a free compartment where we stowed our stuff and headed back out to say goodbye to our families, reboarding the train as 11 approached and the Weasleys came barreling onto the platform.

The trip to Hogwarts was uneventful, although I'm pretty sure I caught a brief glimpse of a blue Ford Anglia flying alongside the train a few times. Tracy and Daphne stopped by to exchange greetings and pleasantries, but they weren't able to stick around for long. After arriving in Hogsmeade Station, we waited until the crush of students died down like the previous year, before clambering off ourselves and making our way over to the carriages. I wasn't to surprised that I could see the Thestrals.

Fortunately, the trip to the castle wasn't long and before long we were sat at the Gryffindor table, waiting for the Sorting to begin. Mcgonagall led in the First years and I couldn't help but smirk when I caught sight of Luna bouncing on her toes and talking the ears off Miyu Edelfelt and a girl with red hair who was looking around with the wide eyed awe of a Muggleborn. One song about the Houses later and the sorting got under way.

I wasn't really interested in anyone other than Luna since this version of her didn't seem the type to end up in Ravenclaw. I did however note that Miyu ended up in Ravenclaw when she was called up. When it was Luna's turn, she pelted up to the front and jammed the Hat on her head. Then….

"HOLY SHIT, YOURE HIS DAUGHTER?!" shreaked the Hat, making the entire hall jump at the unexpected yell.

"You know my Daddy?" asked Luna.

"You could say that," said the Hat, "Hmm, very interesting…"

He trailed off and for a moment, there was silence, before the Hat snorted.

"OH, this is gonna be fun," he said.

He turned on Luna's head and shot a look my way.

"I suggest you stock up on headache potions Mr Potter, this ones gonna cause you no end of trouble. GRYFFINDOR!"

I blinked as all eyes turned on me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Oh, you'll see," said the Hat, "Now, lets continue."

Mcgonagall shook off her confusion and took the hat of Luna's head as the hidden Homunculus ran over to the table and sat down in the seat that mysteriously opened across from me.

"What was that all about Harry?" asked Hermione.

"I don't wanna know," I groaned, "But something tells me it'll have something to do with a certain old Troll with a penchant for making my life hell."

I suppressed a shudder as an echoing chuckle sounded inside my head.

The rest of the Sorting went without issue, other than a short chuckling fit the Hat was hit with when sorting 'Pennykettle Lucy' (who turned out to be the redhead Luna was taking at when they entered and ended up in Hufflepuff) and an outright gut wrenching laughing fit when sorting Ginny Weasley. He was still chuckling merrily to himself as Mcgonagall carried him away.

A short speech from Dumbledore regarding the usual stuff later and we we settling in to enjoy dinner, interrupted only by a loud crash from outside that Snape left to investigate and was probably Ron slamming into the Willow.

I was proven to be correct when the rumors started flying and, about 15 minutes after we all returned to the Common Room, a smug looking Ron entered the Dorm, swanning about like a conquering hero.

"He looks like he shit himself," said Lizzie from where she was lounging on the back of my headboard.

I grunted in agreement as Ron pranced around the room, basking in the attention being heaped on him by Seamus and Dean.

"You lot do realize that Ron damn near shattered the Statute of Secrecy with that stunt, right?" asked Neville, who looked as annoyed as I felt.

The three other boys glanced at one another and Ron started advancing on Neville, a sneer on his face.

"Whats that supposed to mean Longbottom?" he sneered as he tried to loom over Neville.

Considering that Ron was built like a beanpole, it didn't work, even if he was taller than Neville.

"I mean that you have no idea how this little performance of yours isn't going to reflect very well on your family," said Neville, "Especially since your Father works for the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office and yet apparently created a flying car. Do you have any idea how much trouble hes going to be in?"

Ron paused and a look like he was constipated crossed his face, before he paled rapidly.

"Oh Merlin, I'm in trouble," he muttered.

"He just realized that?" I muttered.

"I'm surprised he realized it at all," said Lizzie, "Anyway, we're gonna need to be up early tomorrow, so…."

I nodded and wished Neville goodnight, before shutting my curtains with a flick of my wrist.

And done. A tad short and a bit disappointing for the length of time between updates, but I'm hoping this'll help me break the writers block.

Is anyone surprised that this Luna/Illya got into Gryffindor? Considering what the version shes based in is like, it shouldn't be that surprising.

I wonder if anyone will notice the gag I inserted? Don't worry those that do, I won't be including that world. It's been way too long since I've read them to do so.

And with that, I'm done. Please leave a review on the way out!