Carolyn: The last chapter is going to be chapter 66, so there's a lot more to come and a lot more almost finished. I'm glad you still enjoy reading and I hope you enjoy what I wrote in this chapter.

Chrissy: Thank you for your kind words. I hope you enjoy the twists in this chapter.

Judy: Thank you for your review. This chapter might be a little bit heavier, but I hope you enjoy it.

Patsy: Yeah, the situation between Addison and Mark is still a little volatile. My working week wasn't any less stressful though. But it'll get better after next week, so I'm quite optimistic the updates are going to be more frequent.

Melanie: I'd be on a Patrick high too. Hope you enjoy this chapter

Ellen: He really is dreamy...

Susan: MerDer are in a good place, but I'm not too sure whether chapter 21 is going to be too much fun for any of the characters.

Jill: Thank you on your opinion on Addison and Lexie. We'll really see on where this is going. 😉

Kiley: You'll probably notice which pairing I'm leaning towards to. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Stephanie: Thanks for your lovely review!

Shelley: Here you go!

Chapter 21

Communication, it's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it gets to know what to say or how to ask what we really need.

"Why do I have to go there? I could just stay at home and watch a movie? Or we could stay here and do a lot of adventurous stuff in the shower." Meredith teased Derek in order to get out of the dinner they were about to drive to „We wouldn't need a baby sitter and I wouldn't have to spend the evening with my bosses. The only person who isn't my boss is Callie and she is ignoring Dr. Robbins ever since she's back in Seattle and officially told me that she can't look at me because of all the sickening happiness that surrounds me."
"Meredith, Mark and Addison invited us. It's a nice dinner with a few colleagues." Derek insisted. „It's only going to be a few hours."
"You are my bosses. All of you!" Meredith rambled "Well except Callie. But you should know that we don't really get along because of the George thing and the surgery thing. Things have always been super weird between us. I mean she told me that she wanted to get pregnant when I told her I was pregnant and we weren't even that close."
"Meredith, it's going to be fine. You are Meredith in there, not Dr. Grey, plus you and Mark talk all the time when you meet at daycare." Derek smiled.
"Daycare is different, we are talking about our day or our kids…" Meredith said.
"Addison, me." Derek added with a nod.
"but that's one boss I talk to, not five." Meredith answered defensively „he's practically family"
"Well, I'm your boss. You are sleeping with your boss. You are sleeping with one of your bosses here. A dinner with other bosses shouldn't be too hard" Derek teased her.
"And I'm going to stop if you keep forcing me to go to this sort of event." Meredith giggled. Derek knew that threatening to withhold sex wasn't credible because they both enjoyed it too much.
"I promise I'm going to make things up to you" Derek kissed her neck and whispered into her ear. „And you are finally going to open the envelope with the details of Ellis adoption if we stay here"
"Fine." Meredith mumbled. „We are going, but don't you think it's going to be weird to have Arizona and Callie in the same room. I mean according to what George and Alex told me the two haven't talked since Arizona came back from Africa except for the one time Callie was confined to a hospital bed. Callie has been avoiding to talk to Arizona at all cost."
"She's been back for 8 weeks." Derek stated surprised.
"So how are you going to make things up to me?" Meredith smiled and grabbed the car keys while Derek tried to get a hold of her body. "You could plan Christopher's birthday party. It's only a little over four weeks until he turns one and I want it to be better than any birthday I remember."
"How did you celebrate your birthday?" Derek wondered.
"Most of the time I got a grocery shop cupcake with a candle on top and a note from mom saying she's sorry she can't make it. That was when she actually remembered my birthday. I really don't have a clue how this birthday party thing works." Meredith smiled.
"Fine, I'll take care of it." Derek kissed her „Let's get going. We don't want to be late."

Arizona was about to leave the hospital when she saw Callie standing at the nurse station. She knew that they were both invited to the dinner and was determined to fight for their relationship. „Callie, do you need a lift?"

„No, I'm going to walk it's only a few blocks and I want to check on my patient in peds. It won't be long until he is going to take his first few steps again." Callie answered with a fake smile and walked away.

„It's raining. Come on, we can ride in the same car together" Arizona offered and reminded Callie „We'll be in the same room for hours, ten minutes in the same car won't be too bad."

„Well, I rather not be in the same car with you." Callie said „In fact I'd give anything not to be in the same room as you tonight. Just stop trying to make things up to me, Arizona"

„I won't stop Callie. I can't stop. You are everything to me" Arizona said. She held on to her keys.

„See it as our last big get together before we go to L.A" Addison said and kissed Mark.
He managed to get out an unenthusiastic „yeah." And turned to Derek who had just arrived "Can I get you a drink?"
„No thanks, I'm on call tonight." Derek declined.
„I'm going to have a glass of wine." Meredith smiled and greeted Arizona who had just entered the condo „Hey Dr. Robbins, nice to see you."
„Yeah, it's been a while. I'm glad to be back." Arizona replied nervously.
„What's for dinner?" Bailey who was sitting on the sofa in the living room.
„We ordered something from this French place." Addison explained „they should be here any minute."

„Who are we missing?" Mark wondered after counting the guests and the seats after the cook had prepared the dinner in their underutalised kitchen.
„Callie got held up. She's going to be late." Addison explained.
„Maybe we should start. A dinner with 6 surgeons and only one of them is late. That's quite impressive."Mark smiled.

"28 year old female, 24 weeks pregnant, involved in a side collision, barely conscious." The paramedic shouted when the doors of the ambulance opened.
Cristina looked at the black haired patient and froze in shock for a second „Oh my god, it's Callie." She uttered. When she had regained composure she looked at her resident and yelled „Number #3, page Montgomery, Altman, Robbins and Shepherd."
Owen leaned over to the patient he knew very well „Torres, we have you covered. You are safe with us." He reassured her that they'd do their very best. „Steward, I want you to do a trauma panel and a head CT."
„Callie, do you hear me. You don't give up now. We will do everything to save you, but you have to fight." Cristina said while pushing the gurney inside.

„So are you actually going to leave us? Webber said you can't stop talking about L.A." Bailey asked „I can't believe you are just leaving us behind."
„We are. My friend from med school and her husband built this awesome practice. It's all about cooperative medicine, there's less rain and I can spend my evenings looking at the sea." Addison smiled „We bought this beautiful beach house."
„Are we really so bad company?" Derek teased her.
„I'm not going to answer that." Addison said and peeked at him
„You really get used to it. If you stay long enough…" Bailey wanted to start her little speech on the beauty of the bay and Seattle's forests.
„We already stayed way longer than I anticipated." Addison said „Richard's offer lured us into staying here and I forgot all about New York. But Washington State is too small for me and not sunny enough. I need the sun."
„Yeah, the sun." Mark rolled his eyes.
„How's Maria? She must be a little lady by now." Arizona tried to steer the conversation into a different direction.
„She is, she tries so hard to get up at the minute, but she's too lazy and she won't be walking for a while. But when she smiles it feels like the whole world lights up and when she mumbles dada I feel like the I'm in love with the greatest person in the universe." Mark said and his eyes lit up.
Bailey smiled and teased him „That child broke you, Sloan."
Mark said „I just feel like I'd do anything for her." Addison nodded. „She really is amazing."
There was a moment of silence that was interrupted by the sound of their pagers . „Party's over. We better get to the hospital."

„What's the matter?" Arizona asked when she, Bailey, Addison and Derek arrived in the trauma room they had been paged to. The look on Cristina's face scared her and what she was about to hear wouldn't be easy. The scans looked bad and the patient would be lucky to make it through this night alive.
„It's Callie. She's been in an accident. Her scans are up there. She has a subdural hematoma so you have to get in there as fast as possible Dr. Shepherd. Dr. Hunt is already in the OR with Dr. Altman. Dr. Webber will join them as soon as he's out of the OR. Dr. Montgomery, we need you in there to monitor the fetal heart beat." Cristina explained when George walked into the room. „I heard they brought Callie in" he said nervously. „I need to be in there. She's having my child"
„I want to be in there." Arizona insisted too.
„Well, right now you can't be in there and you know that." Addison told both of them.
„I'm going to take you to the gallery." Mark said and grabbed both of them.

Meanwhile Meredith was walking around the ER that was rather busy at this cold february night. She saw a guy walking in and figured that he needed help because he had a bruise at his temple „Hello Sir, can I help you?" she asked friendly.

„I I I… I was in an accident. There was this woman and all of a sudden someone pushed her in front of my car." He muttered „She got pushed. I couldn't stop. I hit her."

„Let's go to trauma 1 and let me check you out." Meredith said and led him to the room. He seemed confused.

„I'm fine, I don't need an exam. I just…" he got a little bit aggressive and pushed Meredith away „She looked pretty bad when the ambulance left. I needed… I needed to find out… I was listening to music and tried to change the station. I only looked down for …" he said „please tell me she's not dead."

„Sir, calm down and I'll make sure you are really fine." Meredith asked him insistant, but kindly „Where did your accident happen?"

„Two blocks away." The man explained.

„And you are saying there was a woman?" Meredith wondered while she started the exam. She checked his pupillary reflex which seemed fine and looked at him.

„Somebody pushed her, he ran away when I hit her. How is she?" he asked and turned his head hastily to follow Mer who was looking at the chart.

„She's hanging on." Meredith sighed. „And you are saying somebody pushed her? Why would anybody push her?"

„I don't know, but I saw someone." He said. „Where are you now?" he asked and couldn't see that Meredith was standing right next to him. Meredith knew that something was up and paged one of the interns. „You'll get a head CT now."

„What if she doesn't make it?" Arizona sat on her seat and observed Derek, Addison, Teddy and Owen in the OR. Mark
„She's going to make it. She's going to make it." Mark repeated and held her hand in support.
„What if they have to deliver the child? She wouldn't want the child to die." George asked losing his head with all the horrible thoughts that came rushing through his mind. „It's too early to deliver that child."
„Well it's better than having both of them end up dead." Arizona said.
„You can't endanger the child. She wanted to have that child." George insisted.
Arizona got mad at him „You cheated on her, you almost destroyed her. You were the sperm donor. Sperm donor. Get it. You don't get a say!" Arizona yelled at George.
Mark interrupted her before this would turn into a fight. In this situation Callie would need all the support she could get. „Relax, you two. Callie needs you right now. Both of you. I'll go to the ER now and see if they need help, don't kill each other here. Want me to call someone?"
„No, it's fine." Arizona said.
„I'm going to call her dad once she's out of surgery." George said. „He'd want to know"

After the surgery all the surgeons that had been involved with Callie throughout her surgery gathered in a room and discussed her case „We performed a temporary abdominal closure. If we had continued she would have bled to death"
„So we'll just have to wait?" Cristina asked.
„24 hours and we'll go in again if she makes it so far." Owen nodded
„We have to figure out how to stop her contractions if they start again. I was hardly able to do it the first time. She's in SVT." Addison explained.
„She has a whole in her heart, she needs a bypass to fix" Teddy Altman added.
„The bypass would kill the baby." Addison reminded her. „Not fixing the heart would kill her" Teddy added.
„And the blood thinners would increase the risk for a bleed" Bailey sighed.
„So the only way to save the baby is to save Callie and the only way to save Callie might end up killing the baby" Addison sighed. „What a wonderful farewell dinner"

Derek walked up to Meredith after surgery. She had paged him after the driver of the car that had hit Callie had came back from the CT. „Right now Addison, George and Arizona are debating whether or not to deliver the child to ease the pressure on Callie's body."
„But she's only at 24 weeks." Meredith bit her lip. „Cristina said it feels like the day I drowned. They are all waiting for news, barely able to function. But I need you to look at something. I think he needs surgery."

„It's the guy that hit her? Right?" Derek wondered.

While Meredith and Derek were looking at the scans, the driver was approaching Arizona and George. „I just…" he started, but the intern who had been told to observe his every move interrupted him"Mr. Lemming, Im not sure…"

Arizona looked at him. He had never introduced himself, but for some reason she knew who he was „Are you going to tell me how sorry you are? Are you? We don't know if she's going to make it and you want to tell me you are sorry."

„Mam" he said trying to say something. In this very second Meredith and Derek walked up.

„Don't Mam me, you drove into her. If she dies, you killed her." Arizona yelled. „She's the love of my life"

„Dr. Robbins, please, it's … it's… just come with me." Lexie who had been standing close by tried to pull her away.

„If our baby dies it's your fault, it's your fault." Arizona yelled.

„Dr. Robbins, please." Lexie begged her not to make a scene.

„She was pregnant?" Adam Lemming asked in shock.

„Yes, but let's go." Meredith took his arm. „You have to get admitted and you have to stay here for observation. You might need surgery."

„I tried to brake the second I saw her, but it was just too late." Adam told Meredith.

It had been a few hours since the accident and George and Callie were still trying to figure out what they were going to decide. „I say we give Callie the best shot she can get." George said after hours of considering each and every option.
„And deliver that baby prematurely? Callie wants a kid" Arizona insisted. Their point of views had shifted completely within a matter of hours.
„Callie wants to live." George said.
„We all want her to live, but what is her life going to be like if she wakes up and her child is gone." Arizona wondered
„What is her life going to be like when she wakes up and is dead?" George asked back.

Meredith sat down next to Cristina who was studying Callie's scans saying „Your wedding has been cursed."
„My wedding? The wedding that was supposed to prove that screwed up people like us can do it?" Cristina laughed sarcastically.
„Yeah. I mean. You didn't get married, Izzie is dead and Callie is here. There must be something wrong with life." Meredith said.
„You are doing pretty good for yourself. There must be something wrong with you. There's no universe, there's no higher power, nothing has the control over our lives but we. Callie can do it, I know she can. She made it through the first surgery. Now we just have to"
„Wait." Lexie said and sat down next to them
"I examined the driver. The one that hit Callie." Meredith said. „He's under observation. How can she look like that when he's almost absolutely fine? But he said that someone pushed her."
"Pushed her?" Lexie wondered.
„Do you see that?" Cristina asked and pointed to the whole in Callie's heart.
„What?" Meredith wondered.
„I think I found a way to fix the heart percustanious. Burke used that technique." Cristina said and got up.

Arizona was sitting in the ICU by Callie's side. She held her hand and talked to Callie like she was able to hear her. „Callie, I know legally I'm nothing and I'm not even allowed to be in here and you haven't talked to me since I came back, but can you please live, live for me, live for us. Just live. Even if you never talk to me again, just live." After those words had been said the monitors started to go crazy and her blood pressure rose rapidly.

„What happened?" Addison asked when she came into the room.
„Her pressure is bottoming out." Arizona said and went away from the bed.
„Pulmonary edema" Teddy said „Let's get her into an OR."
„She's bleeding out. Alert an OR that we are on our way down." Addison nodded.

„We've got blood." Owen said when they had opened the temporary closure again.
„We have to go back in." Derek said.
„Yang is right, we have to do the percutanious repair." Owen who had shut down Cristina's idea previously admitted. Both Cristina's and Teddy's head turned.
"It's too risky." The cardio surgeon insisted.
„Dr. Altman, step away." Richard Webber said „It's her only shot!"
„You have one minute to get her heart back or I take her baby out!" Addison said.

Cristina tried her best, but one minute later she hadn't been quite finished. Addison made the cut and got out the baby. George and Arizona stood in the gallery and observed everything. "Intubate her, Alex" Arizona said over the intercom. „Do your best to save her"
„Heartbeat is coming back." Webber said after five minutes.
„Starting ventilation" Alex said and looked up to Arizona. „Continue compression."

„Callie's child is in the NICU and we don't know if they are going to survive the night and 24 hours ago I was complaining that she was going to be the only one at that dinner that wasn't my boss." Meredith said when she got changed into her normal clothes. Ever since Callie had been taken to the hospital she had been there too. Everyone who knew Callie had been there.
„It's not your fault." Derek said.
„I'm just sorry I said it. I shouldn't have said it. Are they going to make it?" Meredith wondered.
„We'll just have to wait and see."
„I have to pick up Christopher. He's been with the babysitter all night and I reached my 80 hour limit."
„You were working all night?" Derek wondered.
„Yes, I couldn't just sit around and wait for news so I covered for someone in the ER." Meredith said.
„Drive safely, I'll be back at 6." Derek kissed her and handed over his keys.
„Want me to cook dinner?" she asked, but he said „Oh, god no."

Meredith sat on the couch when Derek walked in. "He's so adorable." She told him while observing what Christopher was doing.
"Yeah, and he's growing up so fast." Derek nodded. "Want to start making another one?"
"No no no, Derek, I don't want to go through another pregnancy before I finish my residency. You have no imagination on how exhausting it is to be pregnant and a surgical resident at the same time." Meredith dismissed Derek's suggestion.
"We could hire a nanny." Derek suggested.
"I'd still have to go through pregnancy again and I'm not fully set on thinking about that." Meredith said.
"I want a little version of you." Derek kissed her.
"Well, you could start researching cloning. I have an IUD for a reason. We talked about this and if I "look at Callie's daughter in the NICU I have absolutely no desire to bring another child into this screwed up world." Meredith giggled and Derek sat down next to her.
"It's not all screwed up. We are happy. We have a wonderful house and a wonderful son and wonderful jobs. Could it get any better?"
"Well, it was you who suggested bringing another child into the mix when the first one hasn't even stopped to need diapers yet."
"It's all going by so fast. It feels like you blink one second and your whole life passed you by." Derek said.
"One second you are happy and the next you are flying through a windshield." Meredith nodded „You know I really hope they are going to be fine."

„Big day today! Came to pick you up for your special appointment." Meredith said and looked at the boy who hated carousels just as much as she did.
"Yeah. You look tired. Is Dr. Torres not going to be here?" the boy wondered. She had promised him to be there just two days ago and he was unaware of what had happened to her.
„No, Luke, she's not … available… right now." Meredith said. „Are you ready for a test run? Well a test walk and you should hold on to that handle because after six months your muscles are going to be weak. Your leg looks fine. Dr. Benson is going to walk you through your rehabilitation program."

Meredith wheeled the boy into the rehabilitation room where Dr. Benson was waiting for them „If you want to try, you can take Dr. Grey's hand and she's going to help you to get started." He said.
„Ready?" Meredith asked the boy and offered a hand.
"Sure. So what am I supposed to do?" the boy wondered.
„Dr. Grey is going to be right behind you at every minute. What I want you to do right now is to grab these two handles and try to balance yourself. Don't try too much too fast. Right now it's about getting up and teaching your leg how to walk again. There's been severe damage to your tissue and muscle, so the brain needs to learn how to do those things again." Dr. Benson explained.
„You can do this. Just one hand and the other." Meredith said with a smile.
The boy tried but had visible pain. „That was wonderful. Pull yourself up now." Dr. Benson tried to encourage him.
"It hurts." The boy said
„Your leg looked fine, it's because the muscle needs to learn how to function. Pull through." Meredith said.
Dr. Benson look at the boy and wondered. „Do you have a firm stand?"
"Yes." The boy said while holding on to the two handles to his left and right.
„Well, let's try how well you move forward." Meredith smiled and observed how the little boy took his first step.
"I did it." He smiled and looked at her.
„You did it." Meredith nodded „You…"
Luke invited her „...finally stepped off the carousel."
„Yes, you took your first step." Meredith nodded.

Lexie was in the ICU looking through the window into Callie's room. She was still in critical condition, but Arizona hadn't left her side. „I wonder if anybody would sit by my side like Arizona does." Lexie said when Mark was standing next to her.
„How is she?" Mark wondered.
„Still no change. Arizona hasn't left her side in four days."
„I see." Mark nodded „And Grey would be there and your dad and Derek. And I would be there."
„You?" Lexie asked surprised.
„I like you and you are something like my brother's sister in law." Mark nodded.
„Yeah." Lexie said. „It would just be nice to know that there's somebody out there that cared about me the way Arizona cares about Callie. Don't get me wrong, I like Alex, but it's not like I'm his… his one"
„There is." Mark said not audible for Lexie and told her "I have to go. Addison and I are having dinner at the bella vita tonight and I don't want to be late. It's our goodbye to Seattle."

„Oh, I didn't expect you'd still be here." Meredith said surprised when she saw George and Arizona in the NICU.
„How is Callie?" George looked up from the incubator that was keeping his daughter warm.
„Still no change. What about the baby?"
„Holding strong and gaining weight. She was born at 24 weeks, so it's a long shot." George said. „But I'm monitoring her when I'm not working."
„You should go home, both of you, you've been here for ten days. You should get some sleep." Meredith insisted.
„I can't, this baby needs at least one parent by her side." George yawned.
„Right now she has two parents by her side" Meredith said with a smile on her face.
„You realize that he was the sperm donor? Nothing more." Arizona asked her.
„Now is not the time to discuss this. I'd offer to stay here and look after her, but I have to get home." Meredith said.
„I can stay with her until tomorrow. You two go to home." Cristina offered.
„Are you sure?" George wondered. „Yeah. Callie was my bridesmaid. I like her and what the two of you need is sleep." Cristina said „You need to rest."

Lexie and Alex were lying in bed when Lexie finally found the courage to say what had been on her mind „Alex, what am I to you? I'm the rebound, ain't I? Sex, but no feelings. You wouldn't sit by my side like Arizona is at Callie's"
Alex was taken by surprise. „Lexie, you are amazing. With everything I've been through…"
„Do you love me?" Lexie wondered.
„Lexie. I'm not somebody who shouts out I love you all the time." Alex said.
„That's all I needed to hear. Listen Alex, you are a good guy, but you and I are never going to work out in the long run. I don't think this thing between us is heading in a healthy direction, Alex. You shouldn't waste your time on something that isn't going to work out. Callie, it all can be over in a second. I don't think we should maintain our current status. I want more than sex." Lexie rambled and started to get dressed "Best of luck with the African kids. I hope your project is a success. I really do." Both of them were alone again.

Cristina was sitting in the NICU and holding the small hand of Callie's baby „You have to survive, little girl. Your mom still has to see you and there are tons of people waiting to meet you. They are rooting for you! Right now you are really small, but if you fight, you'll be just fine. I fixed your heart with another doctor, she's really good, I fixed your mom's heart. That's what I do, I fix people's hearts."
While she said this her eyes teared up. She was fixing people's hearts. „It's an amazing feeling and I'm sure you will feel it one day too, the thrill of holding a human heart in your hand. I'll never forget the first time I did. It had the biggest impact on my life anything ever did and you will hold one too. Being a surgeon is in your blood, your DNA. I'm sure you'll be one too when you are all grown up. The hospital is a lot nicer if you are not hooked on to machines. But right now the machines are helping you to survive. Once you are strong enough you won't need them and we'll take them off ne my one."
„Whose heart did you hold?" Owen who had observed her for a while wondered.
„Does it matter?" Cristina wondered.
„It sounded like it did."
„My dad's. I was 9, we were in a car accident. He was bleeding and I tried to fix it, his chest was open from the impact of the accident and I got in there with my hand and pumped the blood through his body. That's all. I couldn't save him. When the paramedics came I had blood all over my body"
„There was nothing you could have done. You were 9 years old." Owen said „But you decided to become a doctor, to save people who were luckier than your dad because they were brought to the hospital you work at and you are determined to save them. He's the reason you are an amazing cardio surgeon. Are you going to stay the night?"
„Yes, I promised George and Dr. Robbins" Cristina nodded.
"I guess I have to go home alone. Good night then" he kissed her.
„You can stay here. You can just stay here."

At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear and some things we say because we can't be silent anymore. Some things are more than what you say. They're what you do. Some things you say because they're no other choices. Some things you keep to yourself and not too often but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

Meredith opened the envelope and read.

„Margrete Grey.
Place of birth: Boston, MA
Date of birth: 10-21-1983

No contact details"