"Meditation brings wisdom;
lack of mediation leaves ignorance.
Know well what leads you forward and what hold you back,
and choose the path that leads to wisdom."
I'm not saying it was your fault,
although you could done more
oh your so naive
yes so
how could this be done
your such a smiling sweetheart
oh and your sweet and pretty face
it's such a ugly way
something so beautiful
that everytime i look inside
i know she knows
I'm not fond of asking
true or false
it maybe
she still out to get me
i know she knows
I'm not fond of asking
true or false
it maybe
she still out to get me
e e e e
i may say it was your fault
cause i know you could done more
oh your so naive
yes so
how could this be done
your such a smiling sweetheart
oh and your sweet and pretty face
it's such a ugly way
something so beautiful
that everytime i look inside
i know she knows
I'm not fond of asking
true or false
it maybe she still out to get me
i know she knows
I'm not fond of asking
true or false
it maybe she still out to get me
e e e e
true or false it maybe
she still out to get me
e e e e i i i i i i i i i i i
how could this be done by such a smiling sweetheart
oh your so naive yes so,
such a ugly thing
someone so beautiful
and everytime your on his side
i know she knows
I'm not fond of asking
true or false
it maybe
she still out to get me
i know she knows
I'm not fond of asking
true or false it
maybe
she still out to get me
e e e e
true or false
it maybe she still out to get me
e e e e
true or false it maybe
she still out to get me
just don't let me down
just don't let me down
and hold on to your kite?
just don't let me down
just don't let me down
just don't
let me down and hold on to your kite?
just don't let me down
just don't let me down
just don't let me down
JAZZEY!
~Naive~
Lily Allen's cover of the Krook's Naive
When I was a little girl, I used to hide in the washing machine.
Weird, I know, and surely it must have contributed to my claustrophobia but I always used to do it. Whether it was to escape the tormenting bullies from my school, or the reprimanding of my parents after I had crashed one of my fathers ornaments.
Yes, you heard that right - one of my fathers ornaments.
We were concerned.
Was there something he wasn't telling us?
We thought so.
I always assumed it was just a habbit - something I would grow out of when I was older. I had always thought that things would be different - that magically, I would be thinner, and that I would no longer rely on a washign machine to seek refuge but a really, really hot boyfriend.
Yet I still sought refuge in the washing machine.
It wasn't something I like to do - shoving my newly slender body into a washing machine wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing. And it wasn't exactly comfortable when I was 230 pounds either.
I don't know why I always sought refuge in my washing machine.
Maybe it was some kind weird thing like biting nails or eating hair.
But I had always sought refuge in my washing machine, and I had no clue why.
Charlie didn't have a washing machine.
And I was freaking the fuck out.
Not just for the fact that I had screamed at Esme, the epitome of kindness and compassion, but I had called her weird. I had told her that her parents were weird for naming her Esme.
I mean, where was my conscience when all this was going on?
On fucking vacation?
She can comment on penei's but didn't tell me to shut up?
Really, conscience, really?
And then there was Bella.
Bella - my beautiful cousin whom had always been better. Who's slender body I had always been jealous of. She had always had everything I had always wanted - she was prettier, and in some aspects she could be more logical and mature.
Really? I would never have thought that.
Shut it.
I thought you wanted me back?
Not anymore.
But what about Jacob.
My Jacob.
Apparently not - it's herJacob.
HerJacob.
What were they? Were they having an affair, and maybe this baby isn't even Edmunds - maybe it was Jacobs. What happens then? Will they get mrried because they're so in love, and where will that leave Edmund and I?
In a shit hole, thats where.
And then one day when I think I've replaced Jacob with my 26 and a half cats, I'll see them and they're perfect child shopping in the hamptoms where they have a big mansion and a collie - because all rich people have some kind of annoying ass dog - and then Jacob and I will meet eyes, and he'll tap Bella on the shoulder and she'll meet my eyes, her and her stupid big hair and perfect pearls that Jacob got her for they're anniversary
And then she'd smile awkwardly, ask if I was married and I would politely say no - ashamed of my life - and then she would invite me over to their mansion to see their perfect house, and their perfect cars, and their perfect dog, and their fucking perfect children.
Your so stupid.
I know.
Your so, so stupid.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I looked up at the ceiling, biting my lip as I looked at my vibrating phone - wondering if I should answer the dreaded thing. Who invented phones anyway? Whoever did obviously never tried to avoid someone before.
I looked at it, my eyes narrowing it as it vibrated against the oak bedside table and I bit my lip - the guilt that had seeped through me still fresh as I leant against the headboard of my bed.
Well, it wasn't really my bed.
It was Bella's.
I guess I got her shitty leftovers.
Jacob isn't shitty.
How could he be?
Of course Jacob wasn't shitty.
Of course he wasn't.
Him, and his perfect abs.
Really, how does someone have perfection like that?
It just wasn't natural.
What was?
You've got vampires and wolves running all over this place.
What is natural anymore?
Uncle Charlies moustache.
Maybe.
I've seen the hair dye in the bathroom.
Grabbing my phone, I succumbed to what I knew I had to do.
The rings were violent against my ear and I sighed as I heard the click of the answer. "Mom?"
"Hey baby, how are you?"
I smiled as I heard her sweet voice, biting my lip to control my tears. "I'm fine. I'm actually," Shaking my head, I ran a hand through my hair. "Really liking Forks."
I heard her take an intake of breath. "They don't have alcohol there, do they? Antoinette, you know how I feel about al-"
I smiled. "I'm not drinking, Mom." Sighing, I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "The lack of suns getting to my head, I guess."
I heard a scoff. "Does a boy have anything to do with your sudden change of heart?"
Used to be.
Not so much anymore.
You still love him.
Yes, but I'm pretending I don't - I'm dramatically lying to myself, could you at least let me do that.
"Kind of," I said, biting my quivering lip. "He's nice."
I heard a giggle.
Trust my mother to giggle at every conceivable thing I say.
"Tell me everything - have you kissed? Are you being safe - you remember what I talked to you abo-"
I rolled my eyes. "Of course, Mom, I remember what you told me."
How could I not?
She told me penei would kill me.
Literally.
I had a great mother.
I bit my lip. "Mom, I - I need to stay here for a while. Just for a couple of months, I've talked to Charlie about it and he agrees. It'd be good for me."
I was met with silence, and I heard a sigh. "Baby, you can come home any time. I'd rather you not drive down there yourself, but sweetheart, you know you can come home any time you want."
When was this two weeks ago?
When I wanted to go home?
I could have saved myself everything.
"Mom, nothing's wrong. I just need some time to think about what I want, and Forks - it's, well, it's a good place do that. I'm not distracted, and I'm actually thinking about things."
I heard another sigh. "Okay, well, how long are you going to be there?"
I bit my lip. "Till January, probably. February, at the most."
"January! Sweetie, that's four months!"
I bit my lip, nodding. "I know, and it'll be good. Uhm, Mom, I have to go - I'll speak to you later. I love you."
"But Anna-"
I shut the phone, and I closed my eyes - shaking my head as I wiped away the tears, banging my head against he head board as I wondered why I was crying.
You seem to be doing that a lot lately.
Coincidence?
I think not.
I bit my lip as I stood up off of my bed, surverying my messy room and I ripped open the door to the closet - grabbing my duffel bag.
I needed to leave.
I needed to do the right thing.
After packing up most of my things, I felt my phone vibrate in the back of my pocket, signalling me that I had a e new message. Flipping it open, I sighed as I read the text.
Hey, r u free 2night? - Jake
Why don't you ask Bella.
So much for being mature.
I deleted the message, not bothering to try and make excuses for him and I grabbed the duffel bag, hearing the door close down stairs and I bit my lip - closing my eyes.
Charlie.
He was downstairs.
I trudged down the stairs, and I smiled lightly as I saw Charlie and he eyed my duffle bag - his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "What are you doing?"
I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm going to stay with a friend in Seattle for a while."
"How long?"
I shrugged. "A couple of months, at the least."
Charlie shook his head, ruffling his hair. "Does your Mom know about this?"
I nodded. "I just called her. She's really busy."
Charlie nodded. "How can I, can I - I mean, can I call you? What's your phone number?"
I nodded, grabbing the notepad that hung on the fridge and I wrote down my number - running a hand through my hair as I rummaged through my pockets, about to put my keys down and he shook his head. "Just in case."
I nodded. "Okay."
And then he hugged me.
"You be safe - I can't have you disappearing on me."
I smiled, kissing his cheek. "Thank for letting me stay. It was great."
I opened the door and Charlie leant against the frame, cocking his untamed eyebrows. "What am I meant to say to Jacob?"
I cringed at his name and I bit my lip. "Don't- Just don't tell him anything."
"Well, that's, urgh, helpful."
I smiled. "Well, I've always been helpful."
I made my way to my car, once again ignoring the vibrating phone in my back pocket and I opened my door- throwing all my shit in the back and I slammed the door as I got in, sliding the key into the hole-
Hehe, hole.
Will you stop with that already?
I'm just saying hole!
Where to go now?
You know where I'm going.
I know.
Just checking if you did.
I bit my lip as I travelled down the long, twirling road that always made me curse at the beautifulness of Forks, Washington.
I was trying to hate Forks, so why did it make it so unbelievably hard to hate?
Stupid nature.
My car came to a slow halt and I sighed, grabbing my bag and I made my way up the familiar porch steps - my hand knocking on the door I had met so many people at.
"Anna."
I smiled, biting my lip. "Can I come in?"
Esme smiled. "Of course you can. Bella's been waiting."
Here is another chapter for you all!
It isn't answering most of your questions but Anna needed some time to think.
ALL WILL BE REVEALED IN DUE TIME, MY PRETTIES!
I'm not going to do the laugh again - it's becoming tiring.
Again, thank you for all your brilliant reviews - I love them. I woke up this morning and I had 19 emails.
:O
Yep.
19.
Also just wanted to say that there will be alot of updates lately because basically my life for the next six weeks is lounging around the house and going to holiday parties.
I know.
I'm not exactly looking forward to the holiday parties.
Anyways - be safe as always.
Just wanted to get your thoughts on this story I'm working on - don't worry, it won't derail my writing from this story.
Tell me what you think:
"Master?"
The voice was hesitant, almost rattled, her head bowed in fear as the leader of the Volturi looked at the row of of women, all of whom were beautiful, for humans at least.
All of their eyes were downcast, their head bowed in pain or confusion; fear or alliance, he didn't know. His fingers twitched with the thought of their darkened minds, his eyes - red as Scarlett - shone against the light of the throne room.
The guard stood stoic, their eyes focused on the line of women - their bare, human skin seemed delectable. Felix almost trembled at the thought of devouring all of them at the femoral artery. A small ghost of a smirk fluttered onto the Guards face before being replaced by the emotionless facade that the Guard prided itself on.
"Do they fit your taste?"
Aro made a small noise of unrecognizable emotion, moving along the line to examine the bodies most appealing to him - most appealing for child bearing.
Heidi pursed her lips in impatience, her features that epitomized perfection screwed up as she felt the urge to just dispose of the useless humans. With her gloved hands clenched, she looked at her Master - surveying his never changing facial expression.
"We have a selection of ten others, Master." Heidi murmured, her eyes on the ground as she bowed her head. "If there is none here that suit your tas-"
He held his hand up, signalling silence before he opened his closed eyes - his demonizing eyes tracing over the young women that stood at the end.
She was beautiful.
The scent that cascaded from her was that of mango's, and a array of aromas that Aro could not place. The intoxicating temptress's head was not bowed like the others, whom were trembling with anticipation.
No, she was different.
He could feel it.
His shoes tapped against the intricate marble stone as he looked to the women whom would bear a child, his child, a flicker of a smile spreading on his face as he pulled up her reluctant hand - smiling as images flashes through his clouded, crimson eyes.
"Ah!" He exclaimed, a jubilant smile on his face as he rolled her slender hand in his - his mind filling with her every thought, every feeling she had every experienced.
Every memory.
Yes, she was different.
"How," He paused, as if his breath had been taken from him as he stared at the women in utter confusion yet per petulant happiness. "Extraordinary,"
He removed his hand from hers, clapping as he laughed - the women trembled with fear in which she did not want displayed.
"Oh," He exclaimed once again, his hand coming to her cheek - a broad smile illuminating his ghost like features as he tried to sooth the women. "Siete così ... seducente, mio caro"
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