Iryo-nin Kasa (医療忍傘)

Chapter Twenty: Hostile Situation

My victory in graduating was short lived. I completely forgot about the second portion of the exam, where the jounin instructor decides whether or not they want to deal with the genin candidates' bullshit. However, before that, I get to know who my teammates are! Yaaaay… Can you hear the enthusiasm dripping from my voice?

"I thought you were happy about graduating," noted Tesuri at breakfast, the morning of the team assignments. "Aren't you going to eat something?"

"Not hungry." I muttered.

As if I could keep anything down right now. I'm going through the worst case of jitters right now! How could I be such an idiot and forget about the second portion of the exam? Argh! I totally wasted my earlier attempts! My fingers drummed against the side of my mug, a nervous habit that carried over from my previous life.

Something about drumming my fingers calmed me… Kind of wished tea still did the same, instead of getting me all wired up. Tesuri and Kushina banned me from having more than a mug per day because of how twitchy I get.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. I paused, suddenly realizing what rhythm I was tapping. God damn it, I better not freaking summon the Master and turn into a crazy time lord. This world is crazy enough without time travelers and aliens.

"You know there's a second exam, don't you?" sighed Tesuri.

I blinked, glancing at him as I came out of my thoughts. I almost forgot he was aware of my so-called oracle abilities.

"Don't worry about it. Even if you have to get a mentor, I'm quite sure Uzumaki-san will find a way to secure your mentorship," said Tesuri.

I gave a sigh as I glanced towards the quiet room. Naruto's not awake yet, which meant Kushina could sleep in a little more. She took last night's shift since I had orientation and team assignments today.

"I'll eat later during lunch." I murmured.

Tesuri gave me a look.

"I will!" I said indignantly. "I'm not stupid like the older girls going on diet."

Seriously, why do girls go on freaking diets? The anorexic look is totally not attractive, not to mention if they want boobs they need to eat, to grow those things. Starving your body does no one any good and also that is torture! The glutton in me gets very upset at the thought of shying away from food. Yeah, I was a hefty girl before this, must be all the growth hormones in the milk.

I wonder if I would ever hit over one-twenty in this world. Fast food was near non-existent, unless you count street stalls, but even those were still organic, considering, there were no genetically modified plants or steroids pumped into the livestock here. Longevity should be prominent in this world… if not for the dangerous shinobi life and jutsus of mass destruction. Maybe I should start calling it JMD, it totally sounds more threatening.

"Did you even pack lunch yet?" drawled Tesuri.

I paused before face palming. "Damn it, I knew I forgot something."

Tesuri shook his head in amusement as I bounced up to my feet and rushed to the kitchen. Even now, we still lived with Kushina in the same apartment after Minato's death. There was no need for Tesuri and me to move out, considering she needed all the help she could get in caring for Naruto and Tesuri practically lived at the hospital more than half the time.

Since I'm his daughter and seven, I doubt he felt uncomfortable in sharing a room. Heck, in my old life I shared a room with my parents until I was ten. And before you make fun of me, no, I'm not a big baby that needs mommy and daddy to fall asleep. I was poor and it's cheaper to share rooms. I've done it many times with roommates during college.

"Kasa," sighed Tesuri. "I think you've made more than enough onigiri."

I paused, glancing down on the ball of rice in my hand and the eleven on the plate. "Damn it!"

"Why don't you pack it up and share it with your teammates?" said Tesuri in amusement. "I'm sure that would help break the ice."

I shrugged, packing the onigiri into a big bento box and filled a thermos with tea. I'm totally abusing the share advice to get my tea fix. That I'm not sharing.

"…Didn't Kushina-san ban you from tea?" said Itachi dryly when he saw me nursing my thermos cup over the desk.

"Bite me." I retorted with a huff.

"No thanks, I might not be able to sleep tonight," drawled Itachi as he took the seat next to me. "Not with the amount of caffeine running through you."

I rolled my eyes and glanced around the classroom. "Ha-ha, where's Shisui?"

Itachi shrugged. "I'm not his keeper."

Our conversation was short lived. Come to think of it, without Hana or Shisui around, we really don't have much to say to each other. He's boring as hell. I don't really see why the heck does he have so many female fans gushing over him. Oh, and I don't mean the girls in the academy, I mean the female Narutards. This guy is so boring. Sure, he's a major badass in fights, but aside from that, what else could you say about him?

He's a loving brother? So? Does that make him anymore interesting to talk to? What hobbies does he have aside from training? What does he like? What does he not like? Before you tell me to go ask him, I have and let me tell you… Itachi was the most boring child in the world. You think Shikamaru is boring with his cloud watching and lazing about? Itachi beats him in being boring by a long shot.

Damn Uchiha, not only does he have to be a prodigy, he had to be the best in everything. Even in being boring! How do you even do that?

Tap, tap, tap.

I blinked and glanced up when I felt the percussion against the hitai-ate around my forehead. Shisui hovered over the front of my desk in amusement as Itachi pulled away from tapping the metal plate.

"Took you long enough," snorted Itachi.

A grin broke across my face as I adjusted the hitai-ate perched on my forehead. "Ha! I have protection now! You can't poke my forehead anymore!"

Itachi rolled his eyes. "You say that as if I assault your head at every turn."

"You do!" I huffed. "Shisui, you agree with me right?"

"Maybe," chuckled Shisui as he took the remaining seat next to me. "It looks a bit big on you though."

"You think?" I said trying to tie it tighter, but it kept slipping down.

"Maybe you should wear it on top of your head instead," suggested Itachi.

"You just want to poke my head again." I grumbled.

Itachi said nothing while Shisui sniggered. Even miffed with annoyance, I still found myself grinning. Doesn't matter if I'm a seven-year-old brat or a grown woman, something about being around these two eased my nerves.

"Hey look," murmured our fellow graduates behind us. "The three youngest graduates this year."

"How old are they?" whispered another.

"Not sure, but I think the youngest was seven," answered another in an equally hushed voice.

I resisted the urge to sigh, what was it about people, not even children, that makes them think that talking quietly behind someone's back and not expect them to hear? Or were they doing that on purpose?

"I'm not surprised about the boys passing, they're Uchiha after all, but who's the girl?" whispered another.

"Kasa?" said Shisui, drawing my attention back to him.

Damn it, I drifted again, listening to these brats.

"Something wrong?" asked the older boy.

I shook my head. "Just wondering what teams we're going to be on."

"Maybe we'll end up as teammates," grinned Shisui.

"Maybe." I murmured quietly as we waited for Daikoku to come in with the team assignments.

Come to think of it, since I'm dead last in the class, I should technically get teamed with the rookie of the year right? Both Shisui and Itachi were tied for the spot, though for different sections of the exam. The two were even in the written exams and taijutsu practical, but Shisui scored higher in ninjutsu while Itachi scored higher in genjutsu. Kind of unfair to the rest of the graduating class, getting outshined by two brats half their age.

Hmm… actually, it might not be that bad to get them as teammates. They've never failed their genin exam as far as I know. If I get them as teammates, I might be safe from failing. A grin crossed my face as my nerves settled some.

"Team four, Kasa Mon," started Daikoku.

I snapped out of my thoughts, when the heck did he get here? And did he say four? What the hell is with this world giving me the unluckiest number possible? Getting the number four was equivalent to getting number thirteen. Fate was practically telling me to go die.

"Tokuma Hyuga," continued Daikoku as I sat there in confusion. "And Santa Yamanaka."

"What?" I said in confusion before I spoke up. "Wait a sec! How are these teams determined?"

Daikoku sighed. "Kasa, I explained this ten minutes ago."

"…Sorry." I said sheepishly with a hand behind my head. "I wasn't paying attention. Could you repeat that again?"

The class sniggered at my response. "How did this one even pass?"

My blood boiled, I know I shouldn't let the words of snot-nosed brats get to me, but I really abhor anyone calling me stupid. I know I'm far from a genius, but I'm not retarded.

Shisui placed a hand on my arm when he saw my plight. "Let it go Kasa," whispered the boy.

Daikoku sighed again. "I'll explain it one more time, please pay attention."

"Yes sir!" I answered.

"Normally, team assignments are done based on your grades in order to create a balanced team," started Daikoku. "The worst will be placed with the best, those who are weak in one area will be teamed with someone who is strong in that area and vice versa."

I have the worst grade here and Uchiha boys here have the highest. How does that make sense?

"There are exceptions to this rule," continued Daikoku when he noticed the look on my face. "You, Itachi and Shisui would be prime examples here, graduating five to six years below the standard age. While we are very proud of your achievements, we must take into consideration the risks of deploying three extremely young genin into the field with the disadvantage of having a younger and a lesser developed body."

I frowned. I guess that'd make sense. Even if we were all trained to fight and kill at a young age, there's only so much a child could do compared to an adult. Weaker bodies and immature chakra coils, we'd be easy pickings on the field.

"Had you three graduated at the standard age, team dictation would've gone as per norm," continued Daikoku. "I know the three of you are close, but do try to branch out and learn to work with other people, especially you Kasa. Itachi and Shisui are not the only ones around. Try flirting with someone else for a change."

I bashed my head against the desk, the metal plate on my hitai-ate clacked loudly. I'm really starting to love this thing. "Why does everyone think I'm flirting with them?" I whined.

"If we're quite done," continued Daikoku.

"Looks like no one gets Kasa-chan this time, Itachi-chan," grinned Shisui as Daikoku continued to name teams.

Itachi rolled his eyes. "You can have her."

At this point, I stopped listening. I have no clue who any of these people were. Sure, the last names Hyuga and Yamanaka registered and I could guess vaguely what skills they would have, but that tells me nothing about who they are and whether or not Danzo has his claws on them already. I can't remember the roster of Root members, but I'm quite sure there was a couple from notable clans.

"Get to know your teammates, your jounin sensei will be here after lunch," noted Daikoku before orientation was over.

Crap, he's done announcing the teams already? Did he mention who the jounin instructor was for each team? I was so worried about possibly having teammates from Root, I didn't even think about the threat of having a Root member for a jounin sensei! I am so screwed! I whimpered, threading my fingers through my hair and gripping it in a panic.

"Are you okay?" asked Shisui worriedly.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, voice distorted with my nose pressed into the desk.

"She probably just tied her hitai-ate too tight," drawled Itachi.

"Oh shut up Itachi." I grumbled and pulled my head up. "I'm so not going to share the onigiris with you."

Itachi raised a brow as Shisui hid a snicker behind his knuckle.

"My, my Kasa, I didn't know you liked Itachi that much," teased Shisui.

I frowned. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Onigiri is Itachi-chan's favorite," grinned the older Uchiha.

A vein twitched at the bottom of eye. "…You know what? I'm going to share my lunch with my new teammates. You guys can find your own lunch." I said childishly as I hopped out of my seat and glanced through the dispersing graduate class.

Not exactly sure how either of my teammates looked like, but I could at least recognize the Hyuga eyes. Already, a number of the graduates were gathering into groups of three. Most likely because they all shared the same classes and knew one another almost intimately. I huffed in mild annoyance before jumping onto the top of the desk for a better view. I hate being so short! I hope I get a major growth spurt when puberty sets in.

Ignoring the surprised glances, I searched through the lingering students, skipping over the groups of three before I spotted the eyes I was looking for. Seated in the back row with his arms resting on the desk was a quiet pretty boy with featureless white eyes. With a sweep of my hand, I grabbed my things and bounded over the heads of my fellow graduates.

"Hey! Watch where the hell you're going," shouted another boy before I landed a desk away from the Hyuga boy.

"Hiya! You must be Tokuma; I'm Kasa." I greeted the boy cheerily. "Do you know where Santa Yamanaka might be? I thought we could have lunch together since I made extra this morning by accident."

The boy raised a brow. "…How domestic."

I felt the smile on my face strain. What the hell? Was douchebaggery an inherited trait for the prestige families? Come on Kasa, you're mature. Handle it like a civil adult.

"You do know, domestic skills are required in kunoichi lessons for reconnaissance and infiltration right?" I replied. "It's only logical to keep up the practice."

"I suppose you would need to keep up the practice considering you are dead last in ranking," said the Hyuga with a slight wave of a hand.

Oh, fuck civility.

"Do you have a problem with me being dead last?" I snapped, smile gone.

"What makes you think I have an issue?" noted the boy civilly, but I could tell he was mocking me. "I'm simply making an observation."

"I didn't do a single thing to you!" I said, purposely leaving out the yet. If he kept up his holier than thou attitude, I might just have to do something about it.

"I never said that," drawled the boy with his hands folded in front of his face. "Someone's being defensive."

"Tokuma, enough," said another voice. I turned to see an auburn-haired boy with a high ponytail. I wonder if that's a Yamanaka thing.

"It's not my fault she's so easy to rile up," drawled the Hyuga with a slight flair of his hand.

"Ignore him," said the Yamanaka boy. "He enjoys being an ass."

"I don't know what you're talking about Santa," said Tokuma as he turned away with an upturn of his nose.

"Sure you don't," droned Santa before turning to me. "You said something about food earlier? I hope your cooking's edible. I'm starved."

Tokuma snorted. "Maybe you should've been born an Akamichi. You sure eat like one."

"Go screw yourself Tokuma," retorted Santa.

My eye twitched as I watched the two go at each other's throats…First impression of new teammates? I hate their guts.

Lunch went by in silence on the rooftop. Tokuma was an asshole with a girly face and Santa was a callous prick. It was hard to start any conversation when it took all my self-control not to shiv them on the spot with a kunai. You know, for a second I really thought maybe I would've been on a team with Itachi and Shisui. Sort of like a fanfic where everything just so happens go conveniently the character's way. Should've known my luck would have never allowed that.

"Your onigiri's edible," commented Santa.

"Gee, thanks." I muttered darkly. You know what? Maybe it's not so bad working under Danzo. At least with him he just wants loyalty and wouldn't go out of his way to be a prick.

"It's a bit dry though," said Tokuma as he munched on his portion.

"Then get your own drink. I'm not sharing." I huffed, nursing the only cup to the thermos.

"So much for sharing lunch," droned Tokuma dryly.

"Get bent!" I snapped back.

"How unrefined," drawled Tokuma.

I bit back a groan as I placed a hand to my head, but growled when the hitai-ate was in the way. "God damn it." I hissed under my breath as I shoved the hitai-ate onto the top of my head so I could press my fingers against the center of my forehead.

It doesn't matter that my head was exposed, it's not like it was in danger of being poked by Itachi or someone dangerous. I'm a bit embarrassed to say that two little boys managed riled me up enough to force me to refocus. This team thing wasn't going well with me.

Okay, maybe I was being a little unfair. I know nothing about these two. I shouldn't be so quick to judge.

"So…" I pulled the hitai-ate back down to cover my forehead before lighting a grin on my face. "We might have gotten off on the wrong foot somehow. How about we start over again and get to know each other a little?"

"What's there worth knowing about a dead last like you?" drawled Tokuma. "You should've waited another year or two before you took the exam. Maybe you would've gotten a better grade than dead last."

I felt my eye twitch despite the forced myself to keep the smile on my face. "Humor me, considering we've know nothing about each other. You have to have something you like or aspire to be right?"

"Hmm…" hummed Tokuma as he glanced up to the sky. "What was that you said earlier about a drink? Oh, that's right. I'm not sharing."

I chewed my inner cheek. Keep it together Kasa. He's just a stupid little brat. All preteens are full of themselves. Don't fall to their level.

"You're going to finish that?" asked Santa before he snatched my cup and downed the last of my tea.

I let out a slow shaking breath as I pressed a hand against my eyes. Calm down, don't get angry. Remember you're physically seven and you'll get your ass kicked if you pick a fight with someone from a clan that specialized in taijutsu. Not sure how the fight would end up if I decided to pick a fight with a Yamanaka, but knowing my luck, he would probably kick my ass somehow even without swiping my body.

Stop thinking, think of something else. Anything else. I found myself staring at the Yamanaka boy as he munched on another onigiri… How the heck was he packing away those things? I had two and I was full already. I'm surprised he's not a roly-poly sort of guy… though… it'd be pretty funny if he were, especially if he had a red suit and a white beard.

"Ninja Santa." I pressed a knuckle to my lips as I bit back a snort of laughter.

Now that I thought about it, how many people could claim they have Santa on their team? Sure, he's not exactly the jolly old man on the sled delivering gifts to children around the world, but the thought of a ninja Santa Claus was hilarious! Can you imagine, Santa bellowing ho-ho-ho as he rains death and weapons upon you made by his loyal elves and then summon a horde of reindeers to plow you into the ground in a stampede. Santa would totally be a weapon specialist and summoner. How badass is that?

Yeah, I know you're probably thinking I'm insane at this point since it's not even pronounced the same way, but come on! You have to agree the ninja Santa concept is awesome!

"What's so funny?" asked Santa as he finished off the last of the onigiri.

"N-nothing." I grinned innocently, but the mirth was clear in my eyes as I tried to keep myself from laughing my ass off.

"It's obvious, she's a bit off her kilter," said Tokuma as he clapped his hands clean. "It's about time we head—" He never finished as his eyes widened and he quickly darted towards me.

Startled confusion crossed my face at his sudden aggressive movement, but that was quickly ignored when a lengthy chain wrapped around my body and squeezed the breath out of my lungs. I didn't get a chance to recover as the chain whipped again and I was yanked off my feet. My body felt weightless as I hung in the air for a moment before the chain changed direction, dragging me towards the edge in midair.

"Shit!" I cursed as the roof disappeared beneath me and everything slowed as if played in slow-mo.

My body felt light as it hung in the air and my eyes darted about trying to take in everything at once. In my struggle, I spotted a cloaked figure reining the chains holding me. His face was obscured by the shadows of his hood, but his arms were shackled with the very chains imprisoning me. There was something wrong with this picture. Who the hell would be ballsy enough to kidnap someone in broad daylight in the middle of a ninja village?

Not even Danzo would be that daringly obvious. If he wanted to kidnap me, he would've done it in the dead of night or when I was alone. Whoever this was, he definitely had balls. I wiggled and squirmed against the chains, but to no avail, it didn't budge in the least. The chains felt almost alive with the amount of chakra coursing through it.

The world sped up, I had no clue where we were going; the man kept dragging me further away from the main part of the village and quickly into the forest. At some point, I was quite sure the man got away from Tokuma and Santa. Damn it! I'm not about to let myself get kidnapped.

"Let me go! I demand you to let me go! Stop making me the damn damsel in distress! I freaking hate being in distress!" I shouted loudly. "What the hell is it with you people always making the girl the damsel? Why can't you kidnap the guys for a change? Seriously! Stop being so sexist and even out the kidnapping would you?"

The chain whipped around and I felt myself flipped upside down as I hung in front of the face of my captor. "You should really be more careful with what you say. After all, you are my hostage now," said the man, his voice deep and commanding.

"Screw you!" I snarled. "I've spent the last hour with two dickwads for teammates after stressing over whether or not I could be a genin. Whatever the hell you're planning to do with me, I'm going to make your life a living hell!"

"I would like to see you try," drawled the man.

"You're such a clichéd villain!" I growled, pulsing chakra to my hand and concentrating it into strands of chakra. With a flex of my fingers the chakra strands whipped about, latching onto the seal rings and pulling them slowly off my digits. I had to concentrate, can't say I'm a natural marionette. It was hard enough to maintain these strands as it is.

"Childish insults will get you nowhere," continued the man.

"Why don't you say it to my face?" I snapped.

"You really need to learn your place," said the man as he drew me closer with his chains.

Come on, just a little closer… Yes! With a flick of my wrist and the rings dropped like yo-yos, flying at the man's face. It took me weeks to get the hang of manipulating each strand independent from the other strands and even longer to have them move the way I wanted them to. Frowning, I focused on latching the rings onto the man's limbs and torso in an attempt to seal off his chakra.

"Feeble," said the man as he severed my chakra strands with two glowing fingers, no doubt charged with chakra. Damn it, he wasn't even the least bit phased by this! "Your seals are useless if you can't activate them fast enough."

I watched helplessly as the rings dropped to the ground. Shit, that was the only defense I had! He was careful to keep me at a distance. While I can't do anything like Tsunade where she completely fucks up your nervous system to the point you can't even stand, I could disrupt someone's chakra control by shooting excess chakra into their system.

"What will you do now?" asked my captor.

"I…" I bit my lower lip.

As much as I wanted say fuck it all and flip him the bird, I couldn't. I was clearly outclassed and helpless at this point, not to mention still tied up. Where was help when you need it?

"Kasa!" snapped Santa, his voice coming from out of nowhere.

I perked up at my name. Did they catch up somehow? I frowned when I saw no one coming out from the foliage. No, that's not it. Something's not right.

"They're genin, they're not going to be able to save you," drawled the man. "If anything, they will only get themselves caught."

Again with the insults, but… it didn't seem right. They seemed… generic? "…You never told me why you wanted me as a hostage." I said with a frown. "What exactly do you want me for?"

"It's none of your concern," said the man.

There it was again. The vague answers, the clichéd villain dialogues. What…Then it clicked. This wasn't real. I've been stuck in a genjutsu!

Flaring chakra to my head, I let out a scream. "KAI!"

The forest disappeared and I was back on the roof again, still chained by my captor, my rings laid on the floor by Tokuma's feet.

"You're such a hassle," said Tokuma in annoyance.

The side of his eyes bulged out with veins from the byakugan. He stood defensively, guarding Santa's prone body behind him. The auburn-haired boy was slumped to his knees, Mind Transfer Jutsu maybe? At the sight of the Hyuga's glowing hands, I figured he severed my chakra strands. Ooh, that wouldn't have been pretty if I ended up sealing his chakra instead. I seriously need some defense against genjutsu.

"Good thing those didn't hit you, right?" I said sheepishly, but the Hyuga didn't share my humor.

"Dead lasts don't get to joke," retorted Tokuma.

"Well, excuse me." I snapped back. "If you haven't noticed yet, I'm busy being held hostage. If you want me to do something then get me out of this!"

"Ugh, why are you two at each other's throats already?" said Santa in annoyance as he stood up rolling his neck and rubbing out the slight soreness from siting prone with is head lulling to the side.

"I was wondering how long it was going to take you," huffed Tokuma.

"How about you free her next time? I'm quite sure you're excellent with the Mind Transfer Jutsu," said Santa dryly.

"As if you can defend me if I could," replied Tokuma.

"Hello!" I grumbled in singsong. "Still a hostage if anyone cares!"

"Of course we don't, why else would be bother freeing you," retorted Tokuma sarcastically before directing his attention to the stranger. "I don't know what you want with the dead last, but she's not really worth kidnapping."

"Gee thanks!" I snapped before the chains whipped again and I was drawn closer to my captor. His hand latched out and grabbed me by the chains. "Let me go!"

"How did any of you ever become ninjas?" said the man in annoyance. "Bickering like children and insulting one another as if you were in the schoolyard."

"Technically, I'm seven, I still counted as a child in most places." I slipped in a wisecrack.

The man scowled as he looked down at me. My body tensed when I saw red eyes looking back at me. The sharingan? I couldn't see his face through the shadows, but somehow the eyes stood out in the darkness. Shit, was this Madara?

"Insult us all you want, but we're not letting you take her! Dead last or not, she's our teammate and we're not about to abandon her," noted Tokuma.

I glanced at the boy in surprise. Didn't he have something against me earlier? Or was he like every other prick in this world that just enjoys bullying me? What am I? A bully magnet? First Itachi, then Shisui, and now Tokuma? I am so punching the next person that dares to claim he only bullies me because he likes me. It's bad enough with Itachi and Shisui, I don't need another one to the list!

"Then come and take her from me," said the man. His free hand moved to grip me by the throat and pulled in front of him as if I was his personal shield.

I gagged at the sudden forcefulness. Tokuma and Santa stood rooted to their spot, teeth gritted and fists clenched. We were at a disadvantage with me hostage.

"If you come closer, I'll end her here. If you dare leave to get help, I'll kill her," said the man as he held me closer and the chains tightened. "What are you going to do?"

I bit back a scream as my body lurched from the pain.

"Damn it!" hissed Tokuma.

"Tokuma, we could try—"

"No! He's already seen you use it once already. You're lucky that you even managed to hit the dead last the first time around," said Tokuma.

Gods, I'm so not listening to this! It's going to be one of those multi-chapter explanations or even worse, multi-episode talking!

"Fuck this." I hissed before charging up chakra in my hand and slapped it with force behind me. The chains made it hard to move, but since he was holding me fairly close, I had a good shot.

The instant my hand made contact, the chains loosened.

"What?" hissed the man in surprise, but he kept a firm grip on my neck.

His chains didn't completely come apart and hit the ground, but there was enough wiggle space to free my arms. With his other hand occupied, I took it as a chance to charge another handful of chakra and tried to slap it into his chest. Realizing what I did the first time, he released my neck and hastily backed off. His chain arm grew taut as he yanked at the jingling metal links again.

"Shit!" I hissed, bracing myself for another round of swing Kasa like a ragdoll, but it never came as Tokuma caught the chain with glowing hands. His feet were planted firmly to the ground and his hands were reinforced with chakra to handle the enemy's weapon.

"Hurry up Santa!" said Tokuma. "I won't be able to hold this for long."

"Don't rush me!" said Santa as he loosened the chains further and yanked me out of the tangled weapon.

"How naïve," said the man before he whipped the chains one more time. Before we knew it, the chains came to life and ensnarled each and every one of us.

"What?" said Tokuma in surprise as he watched the chains cascade and crash around us like waves.

In seconds, all three of us were chained up and dropped to the ground.

Crap, crap, crap! My heart raced a mile a minute. What the hell do I do? All three of us were captured now! There's no chance of escaping or calling for help. The man made his way towards us, stopping short only a couple of feet. I kept my eyes to the ground, terrified that he might drop me into another illusion.

"What a disappointment," started the man in annoyance.

"What do you want?" demanded Tokuma. "If you think you can get out of this village, lugging around three hostages, you're sorely mistaken!"

"Quiet," said the man as he tightened the chains around us. We all bit back a grunt of pain. "I only need one hostage. I could kill off two of you if I need silence."

Shit, how did things go so down south? How could I be that freaking unlucky? I was totally joking about the superstition about how the number four was a bad omen for death. I didn't expect it to actually happen!

"Still I have some time to spare. How about I let you decide who I kill?" said the man.

The three of us fell into silence. How could we choose? None of us wanted to die, but at the same time, could we really damn the other two? I bit my lower lip. Could I live knowing I ended the lives of two children? I know as a ninja, at some point I'm required to kill someone. In this world, it was kill or be killed. Niceties like mercy was not something you can indulge in unless you're powerful enough to defend yourself.

I glanced briefly at the two boys by my side. So young, barely even teens yet. Could I be this selfish and steal away their chance at life? Most people, men especially, had mercy on little girls. If I just cried and said how much I feared death. There was a chance that he might let me go…

No…I can't do it. I can't let these kids die just so I have a chance to live. I've already lived once, while it wasn't very long, I at least got to experience a decade more of life than them. They're nothing more than stupid little soldiers right now. They deserve a chance to make something of themselves.

"I volunteer." My voice cracked as the words left my mouth.

"What?" said the man in confusion. Both Tokuma and Santa turned to me in surprise.

"I said," I started slowly, a silly grin spreading across my face. "I volunteer as tribute."

They stared at me dumbfounded. I'm totally the queen of killing the mood. This is totally not the time to be pulling random references like that out of my ass, but I couldn't help it. That was the perfect chance to use that line and if I'm going to die, I might as well go out doing something I could laugh about. Oh, this is going to be fun.

"… You do know, you're volunteering to die, right?" noted the man.

"Yep." I chirped. "You made it pretty clear. Only one of us can survive."

"…And you're certain on that?" said the man slowly.

"Absolutely." I nodded before someone head-butted me from behind. "Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"You idiot! Why would you choose yourself?" snapped Tokuma.

"Why not?" I retorted. "He said we get to choose. How come I can't choose myself?"

"It doesn't work that way you moron!" joined in Santa.

"I know how it works!" I huffed.

"Obviously not!" growled Tokuma before turning his attention to our captor. "Ignore this idiot, she doesn't know what she's talking about. She's not worth killing. She's hardly even a threat. I on the other hand could pose as a challenge."

"What the hell?" I snapped. "How come you can volunteer and I can't? And you better not give me some sexist answer! Because I will beat you!"

"As if you can!" retorted Tokuma.

"Not again!" groaned Santa. "Please just kill me before they get into another fight! Seriously, I'll take death over listening to them bicker."

"Hey! Get your own thing! I volunteered first!" I said, annoyed.

"Dead lasts doesn't get to choose!" snorted Tokuma.

"Shut it Tokuma!" I returned.

"Can you two stop fighting for once?"

"No, he started it!"

"As if!"

Not exactly sure how this turned into a three-way argument, but eventually our captor got annoyed and bashed all three of us over the heads.

"Ow…" We grimaced.

"All you shut up! I don't even know why I bothered with this. I should just fail the three you and kick you back to the Academy!" snapped the man.

We glanced up at him in surprise. "…Huh?"

"What do you mean?" asked Tokuma with a frown.

The man huffed in annoyance as he pulled the hood back, revealing the Konoha hitai-ate around his head. I blinked in surprise when I noticed his red eyes weren't the sharingan. There were no tomoe in his eyes and furthermore, I think they were actually natural. Huh…that's… interesting.

"It means you lot have about five minutes before I decide whether or not to ship you back to the Academy for remedial classes. Never before have I seen genin candidates act so poorly!" snapped the man.

"Wait, what do you mean candidates? We graduated already!" argued Santa.

The man snorted. "That graduation was meant to filter out those with no potential in becoming a ninja. It means nothing when the jounin in charge decides you're unsuited for, for the field."

"We weren't told about this!" snapped Tokuma.

"That's the point," said the man. "We don't need little puppets, we want shinobi that could think on their feet and adapt to any situation, while working in tandem with others. We don't need constant bickering from children."

"…This was a test of teamwork?" said Santa in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me! How the heck are we supposed to figure that out from you kidnapping one of us and then kicking our asses?"

I frowned as I mulled over what happened. It was a bit unconventional and odd. From the series, Team Seven had the traditional bell test, but I suppose not everyone uses it or else there would be some sort of gossip about it. Ambushing us on the spot would be a good way to candidly test on how well we worked together and whether or not if we had any bad social habits. Though, from the looks of this conversation, I think we flunked it.

"Damn it." I sighed, dejected. "The kidnap and ambush was supposed to test out how well we react to a teammate in distress and in the hands of the enemy wasn't it? Where did we go wrong? If you don't mind me asking?"

It's kind of pointless now, but I still wanted to hear it. At least I'd know how badly I failed.

The man snorted. "At least someone here knows they've done wrong."

I said nothing, I don't think I did anything wrong, but I'm not about to tell him that. Seriously, if you get kidnapped, how well do you think you can handle the situation? I think I handled it pretty well.

"Let's start with you then," said the man as he stared down at Tokuma, who glared up at him. "You obviously saw the attack coming at your teammate, but instead of warning them, you went straight towards the enemy to engage in combat. That was inconsiderate and reckless. Had you shouted her a warning; she might've been able to dodge the attack and maybe not get into the hostage situation you've all faced."

Tokuma scowled, turning his face away.

"Then there's you," said the jounin as he looked pointedly at Santa. "Like the first one, you're reckless, rushing into matters and using a volatile jutsu that requires absolute stillness. Had I not moved your teammate into position, you would've left your remaining teammate at a further disadvantage with two incapacitated teammates."

Santa mulled over his words quietly.

"Lastly," he turned to me with a glare. "You are by far, the most reckless of the group, so ready to attack when you're obviously no match. Your temper fairs no better, since you riled up your teammates into a frenzy instead of assisting them. I've never seen such a hot-headed team in my life!"

We all frowned at his words, but at the same time something clicked in my mind.

"You said we had five minutes before you decide to send us back." I interrupted. "That meant you saw something you liked or else you wouldn't bother talking to us."

Seeing what I was implying, Santa quickly joined in. "It wasn't fair that we were never given a heads up. I know it's supposed to be a test, but since we're not even considered genin, we should be given an advance notice. After all, in mission assignments, all shinobi were given briefings before they venture off."

"And your test is not in our favor," added Tokuma. "While Santa and I have known each other for some time, today was the first time we met her." He nodded towards me when he noted her. "It's obvious we won't be able to work together immediately, but given time, I think we could work around it. If we don't have a natural inclination in teamwork, we could overcome it with practice and training."

"Yeah! Our bickering was just a way to get to know each other! I've never seen a shinobi rule that doesn't allow bickering as a means to build relationships." I quipped.

"Really?" said Tokuma dryly. "That's the best you can come up with?"

"Oh shut it, you only know how to talk out of your ass." I snorted.

"Guys stop it," said Santa warningly. "We're trying to convince him not to fail us, not give him more reason to fail us faster."

Tokuma and I shared a silent truce before glancing at Santa. With a nod, the three of us turned to the red-eyed jounin with a determined glare.

"We demand a retest!" said Tokuma.

"If it's teamwork you want, we'll have the best teamwork you'll ever see," said Santa.

"If we still fail, we'll fail as a team." I finished.

We watched with bated breath as the man planted a hand on his hip and studied us. I forced myself not to back down from the stern look on his face. There was something intimidating about this man. Now that I think about it, he looks… familiar?

"Hmph," huffed the man as the sound of mild annoyance escaped from his throat. "Trust my luck that I end up with the group of reckless genins."

Our breaths caught at our throats. The chains dropped around us as he retracted his lengthy weapon.

"Did you…?" I started and the man glanced at me with a dry look. "Does that mean…?"

"At this point, I don't think any other jounin can handle a group of reckless, self-sacrificing genins. So, until the three of you reach chunin. You all have the pleasure of going through my self-preservation training," said the man.

The biggest grin crossed my face. "I don't care if you put me through hell! I just want to hear those beautiful words of confirmation!" I nearly squealed.

Tokuma had his arms crossed, trying to look cool, but I could see it on his face that he was waiting for it just as much as I was.

Santa rolled his eyes. "You might as well get it over with sensei or she might just keep bugging you," suggested the auburn-haired boy. "By the way, what is your name anyway?"

The man snorted. "It took you this long to ask? I think I might have to add a lesson in priorities to the team regime."

"Who cares! Sensei, just say it already!" I whined, but the annoyance was only superficial. The giddiness coursing through my body gave it away.

Mildly annoyed, the man sighed. "I, jounin Kurei Yuhi, declare Team Four passes."

"WOOT!" I jumped up in glee and raised a hand to Tokuma and Santa. "Give me a high-five! Cause I'm a ninja!"

"No," said Tokuma bluntly.

I puffed up my cheeks. "Buzz-kill!"

"Dead last," retorted the Hyuga.

"Asshole!" I continued.

"Spazz," returned the other.

"Oh would you two please stop it already?" sighed Santa exasperatedly.

I get the feeling that bickering would be a big part of Team Four... Team Four Stars? Nah, just kidding! This was going to be…different.

Author's notes: Sorry for the pause in updates, I was trying to settle on the final teams and I had to rewrite the second test several times before I was happy with it. Though, it was kind of funny to get reviews asking where the heck I was. No, I'm not dead. The chapters might get a little slower from here on, just because I need to work out some kinks, but I will try to get at least one chapter per week, if I can. If not, once every two weeks. Hopefully, it doesn't get pushed back to once a month or something.

Second point, Kasa's jounin sensei and teammates are all canon characters. Kurei was a name I added since he didn't have a listed name. Most of them don't really have much personality from what I've seen, so I'm taking artistic liberty in doing what I deem fun. Canon lovers, uh… it's kind of too late to go there, so if you guys still want to rant about it, sorry.

Third Point, I'm sorry for everyone who wanted the Umbrella Fan team (ha, see what I did there?), but I promise they will work together some point in the future. As a team or something else? You'll just have to wait and find out.