Oh man, we haven't been on this site on a while, huh?
Nymph: We're back and alive, with another multi-post!
Smitty: We feel so bad about leaving you guys hanging, so we wrote a surplus of chapters for you guys.
Nymph: It's...it's just so much guys. Thank you to the readers that still remember this humble story, and have followed it in our abscence.
Smitty: Well, that's enough of that. TO THE REVIEWS!
SonicELITE: Thanks! Cards against Humanity is an automatic ticket to hell, and I'm pretty sure Star isn't keen on seeing Tom again. Marco, on the overhand...
Sir Starcoshipper: Why? Because we can. And Covy is the next chapter after this!
Guest: THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!
paigeharver192001: Thanks, and sorry for the wait, here it is with many more to come! Don't worry about consistency, you can just stick with Smimph. Thanks for loving the stories, and thanks for the motivation!
Guest Sorta: Nymph: Hmm, I prefer: "YOUR NEW OVERLORD AND DICTATOR OF THE UNIVERSE, THE $%&* #^( !" Huh, I guess there's no english equivalent to the awesomeness that is my name. It's too awesome to say.
Nicebooka: Yeah, Marco's such a troll.
Guest 2: Yeah, we really liked them so we wrote about what happened.
Guest 3: ;)
ThunderMist36: Maybe, I'd play one round before I get sent to hell. Hey, wordless exits are comical, what can I say?
Beanbag527: Yeah, here it is! Sorry if it's lower quality or anything.
Just a little heads up, this was written over the course of several months, so we kind of went in and out of author mode sometimes. just saying it might suck. Anyways, enjoy!
"Uh, River? Are you sure this is essential to my training?" Marco asked, handing him his cell phone.
"Yes, yes of course!" River replied.
The king ran his fingers excitedly through the phone, searching for something on the device.
"Ah! Yes, here it is!" River tapped on one of the playlists on Marco's phone, labelled 'Training Music'
(cue the motivational Rocky music)
"Ugh, I feel a montage coming on." Marco pinched the bridge of his nose, mentally preparing himself for the hardships to come.
"Star told me all training needs it!" River stated with pride.
"Yeah, if I were in a Karate Kid movie..." Marco muttered, before being dragged off with the king.
"Here we are!" King Butterfly gleefully announced, raising the gate to a cage.
"Are you sure this is safe?" Marco slowly took a step in the cage, scanning his surroundings for danger.
"Perfectly safe! Just fighting some monsters, no biggie!" River said.
A low growl echoed into Marco's ears, his knees turning to jelly.
"Um, do I get a weapon?" Marco asked, turning back to River.
"Weapon? Ha! Good one!" River shut the cage and locked it, much to Marco's dismay.
"W-wait! Hold on!" Marco tried, but a loud stomp killed the words in his throat.
Cautiously taking a 180, Marco tried not to scream as a large beast five times his height emerged from camouflage.
The key word was tried.
River gazed on happily as the frightened boy frantically dodged the monster's attacks, the king humming in delight at his suffering.
"Remember this if you ever hurt my daughter!" River said gleefully as he watched Marco narrowly dodge the creature's rapid attacks.
"With nothing but a BOBBY PIN?!" Marco exclaimed, looking around the seemingly endless room with nothing but the clothes on his back and a bobby pin lodged halfway down his throat.
Not to mention he was also constricted in snakes (something he was familiar with), his straight jacket were nailed to the floor, and a timed bomb strapped to his chest
"It's like you said, all you need is the notorious bobby pin in prison break. Escape, that's all." The sound from the speaker cut, leaving Marco alone in the dimly lit room.
"This is a torture game, not a prison!" Marco yelled.
The ceiling opened, a giant axe falling and swinging just above Marco's vulnerable throat.
"I'd rather be brainwashed in St. Olga's..." He moped.
"Ah! Ow! Water!" Marco was knocked down by the gallons of falling water. He didn't understand how standing under a waterfall helped.
"It helps build focus, and endurance. Also, you need a bath." River said, pinching his nose and waving the air around him.
"It's not my fault I got eaten by the Jakrols you commanded to eat me!" Marco argued.
"Marco m'boy, do you honestly think you'll get anywhere by blaming your problems on everyone else?" River asked innocently.
"You sound like Glossaryck..." Marco muttered hatefully.
Elsewhere...
"Well JoJo, looks like it's just you, me, Marco plushie and your six siblings." Star said, lying down and cuddling the puppy and Marco the plush.
"So how does it feel, JoJo, being a dog? Any problems, relationships, life goals? No? I thought so." Star murmured, eyeing her Marco plush.
"How's training with dad, Marco?" She asked.
Star moved its head around as if it were talking, and mimicking Marco's voice. "A blast actually! I'm learning a lot of stuff and it's really fun!"
Meanwhile...
"AH! SPIKY ROCKS! NOT HAVING FUN, NOT HAVING FUN!" Marco cried, helplessly going downstream with flaming locusts swarming around his person, the rickety wooden plank he was surfing on threatening to break beneath him.
"Yeah, I bet it's great. Doing cool stuff with dad. Are you sure you're okay doing this for me?"
"Mmhm! I don't regret anything! Anything and everything for my bestie!" The "plush" said.
"HELP! I REGRET EVERYTHING JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Marco yelled frantically, the tentacles binding him threatening to pull him apart and devour his bowels.
"WHY DOES THIS SEEM ODDLY FAMILIAR?" He cried once more.
"Well, what happens if you win?" Star asked Marco plush.
"If? Ha, I think you mean when I win! But when I do, I don't know, I guess we'll get married!"
Star nearly fell off her bed.
"W-wait, a-are you serious?" Star stammered.
Marco plush nodded cheerfully.
"Yep! That's the point of this, isn't it? So you can marry someone you like? You like me so, why not?" Marco plush asked. Not expecting such a blunt and abrupt statement, Star began tapping her forefingers together nervously.
"A-are you sure?" She gave a side glance to the plush, blushing as she made eye contact with it.
"Totally! Why, you don't want to marry me?" The hopeful tone began to dissipate from Marco plush's voice.
"N-no! Th-that's not it! It's not that I don't want to it's just..." Star's voice hushed to a whisper. "I'm afraid that you won't think I'm a good wife..." She admitted.
"Don't say that, you'd be a great wife! Just ask me when I get back from training, you'll see!" Marco plush reassured.
"Aww so cute! Thank you!" She snuggled with the plush, rubbing her cheek against it affectionately.
"No prob, Star! Also, stop making me talk, you might go insane."
"But I reeeeaallllly miss you! It's soooo boring!"
"You love me that much?" The plush joked.
Star's heart skipped a beat.
"N-no! I m-mean yes! I mean-"
"Call from Marco." A monotone voice interrupted.
Star jerked up from her bed, getting tangled in the sheets and landing face first onto the floor.
"Marco!? Jeez, that felt weirdly real..." Snapped out of her delusions, Star shot up from her position on the floor, her arms flailing as she shot the plush high into the air, rushing to her mirror to pick it up.
"Hi Mar- AH! What happened to you?" Star asked, taken aback by Marco's beat up and torn appearance.
"Training," Was the only response given.
"Another question, when did you get a mirror?" Star asked.
"Your mom and dad put a mirror in the room I'm staying in, so I set it up and here I am!"
"Judging by your appearance I think I know the answer, but how's it been going with dad?"
"An absolute nightmare. I'm grateful to have even been given a 30 second break."
"Marco! Break over!" Star heard her father's voice boom through Marco's door.
"I thought this was soundproof... I'll be out in a sec! Later Star, time for me to go through hell and back. Again."
"Good luck Marco!" Star cheered for him before hanging up.
She sighed as she pulled her hair over her face, curtaining it from society.
"He better come back soon or I'm going to have an anxiety attack..." Star groaned.
Over the next few days, both went through devastating problems. Marco wrestled a Chiguar ( A Tiger, Cheetah, Jaguar hybrid), swam up a 100 foot waterfall, and cooked nachos for the king. Lots of nachos.
"You must make me more! A lifetime supply at least!" River complimented, shoving his face of more of Marco's famous treat.
"I think you've had enough, it's not good for you to keep on eating like this." Marco said, piling the many empty bowls the king had finished.
"You underestimate my power, Marco? Fine, I guess we could always throw you into a chimera den..." River pondered, looking for an alternative.
"No, no! That's alright, I'll make more!" Marco waved him off. "I honestly prefer this over actual training..." Marco muttered, preparing ingredients for the eighteenth batch.
And Star, well she, uh...
"Ugh, how do I use this heat drawer? Give me my burrito, you demon of radiation!" Star banged on the glass door separating her from her lunch for the day. Mrs. Diaz had told her how to open the microwave, but not exactly how to get it out. It had to be different to how she got it in, right?
"ARGH! With Marco gone, who's homework am I gonna copy off of now!?" Star yelled frustratingly. She had no knowledge of spanish words (aside from the ones which Marco addresses her as occasionally), or who Thomas Jefferson was, or what 2 + 2 was, I mean, it should clearly be 22, right? "Math is dumb anyways." Star said, burning her assignment with her wand.
Star buried herself in the soft red fabric, feeling content at the comfort her fortress of hoodies gave her. She inhaled a deep breath, the scent of the hoodies giving the sense that her best friend was here with her. She sighed dreamily, her thoughts drifting to Marco lying there with her instead of the hoodies. "Marfoooo..." She slurred, her voice muffled by the abundance of hoodies she was burrowed into.
And before they knew it, a week flew by. And Marco's final task had come.
"So, *grunt* decided to join me this time huh?" Marco said as he hammered a bat monster with the butt of his spear.
"Well, it is your last training session, or my lecture as my wife believes it to be. She thinks you need to know how a king should be in a court of nobles." River casually said, grabbing and throwing a monster at another one.
"Well, I have experience negotiating with people. Trying to convince Star to do homework using nachos is rather helpful." Marco whacked the top of a troll's head like the head of a nail.
"You don't seem to be using the sharp end of the spear much." River noted as he punched another tiger beast in the eye.
"Not really a fan of blood or maiming." Marco replied, hitting the rabid monster with the butt of his weapon. "Besides, these monsters are more on my level, and it makes me look even cooler when I kick the crap out of these things." Marco said, spinning back kicking another monster in the jaw.
"Cool? Try this on for cool!" River said, throwing his spear aside and pulling out a sling, whipping large stones at the monsters.
"Oh yeah? Good thing I decided to bring these!" Marco said, throwing down his spear and taking out his nun-chucks. He extended the weapon, posing for maximum coolness, before dashing straight at a rat monster, nailing it right between the eyes.
He switched hands and swung it at a snake like monster, knocking it aside like a discarded toothpick.
Marco spun around just in time to roll out of the way of a large horned creature charging at him.
He threw the nunchucks at the two front feet, tripping the beast and making it slide a good yard or two before slowing to a stop.
"Ha! That's nothing, look. No weapons!" River said, punching monster's in another attempt to out-cool Marco.
Marco rolled his eyes. This wasn't a competition by any means, but he wasn't going to lose.
"Hey! No hands!" Marco said, kicking the deadly creatures with his hands behind his back.
"Eyes closed!"
"No appendages!"
"Beard only!"
"No...breathing."
Yeaahh...This went on for a while.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall. Call Mom." Star said
"Calling Mom." The mirror said.
Her mother's figure appeared on the screen, a gentle smile on her face.
"Hello dear, what have you called me for?"
"Dunno. I'm bored." She said bluntly.
"I'm sure there's much to do on earth." Her mother wore a confused look on her face.
"Yeah, but it's not the same without Marco there to do it with me." Star frowned and crossed her arms, staring at the floor below her. "Dad should have gotten his own Marco." Star pouted.
Her mother arched a brow. "His own Marco?"
"Yeah, like, his own best friend. Marco is my best friend isn't he?" She said oblivious to her mother.
"Okay then. Well, you'll see him soon enough when the two come back from their 'lecture', but we both know it's just monster fighting. They're in the Peaks of Pain, because the Forest of Certain Death has become more like the Forest of Unlikely Death if you're prepared after Marco's last visit there." Queen Butterfly said.
"Whhaaat? Dad totally doesn't make up his lectures just so he can go fight monsters, are you kidding me? Pshaw! Also, that's a run-on name for the forest." Star tried to keep her dad's cover.
"Sweetie."
"Yes?"
"You are a terrible liar, and so is your father. I've been married to him for over twenty years, and I can demand our servants tell me where's he actually goes when he leaves for lectures. I do find it quite amusing that he thinks he can keep secrets. Just adorable." Her mom said, which was unlike herself. "Anyways, I'm glad you called, I've been wanting to ask you about your relationship with Marco Diaz."
Star's face scrunched up in confusion. "Okay? What did you want to talk about that involves Marco?"
Her mom suddenly leaned closer to the mirror, her eyes prying into Star like it was trying to dig through her for her secrets.
Luckily, all of them are still locked in her closet.
"Do you think he's cute?" She asked.
Star pondered it for a moment. "Yeah, I'd say he's high up on the scale. With his soft hair, milky brown eyes you can drown in, the adorable mole on his cheek, his dorky personality, and when he transforms into Dr. Marco-"
"Transforms?" The queen asked.
"-his cool glasses just make him so awesome!" She gushed truthfully.
"Hmm. Is he kind to you?" Her mom asked next.
"Oh yeah, definitely! He's like, the nicest of nice guys. He's super kind to everyone -excluding bullies, meanies, and most monsters- and always wants to help his friends and teachers. He makes me laugh all the time, teaches me a bunch of stuff I didn't know, always concerned about my well being. He's overly cautious too, always going on and on about safety and stuff. He tries his best to cheer people up, even if it meant risking his well being." Star giggled, a faint memory fireworks and a shopping cart dangling in her mind. "He hates making people feel bad, and is always the first one to apologize after a fight."
Her mom hummed in approval. "Would you believe he is willing to drop everything just for you?"
"Well duh, and the feeling is mutual. Remember what happened four years ago? Giving up my wand for him? We would do anything for each other, give up what is most dear to us for one another. To put it simply, he would wring his neck for me." Star answered, happy knowing that Marco would indeed give away his soul for her.
"Ah, yes I see." The queen said.
"Why are you interested in my best friend all of a sudden? You're not throwing him in the dungeon, are you?" Star asked, crossing her arms suspiciously.
"Haha, no not this one. I just wanted to confirm you love him."
Star's form stiffened, her heart beginning to pound in her chest at the sound of the L-word.
"Well, I don't." Star responded.
"Really? Do you think I'm mistaken? Because the way you describe him as a really cute and caring boy who'd do anything for your safety, sounds like you fell for him."
"I didn't fall for him, and you can say that about a boy best friend! People do that! I think!" Star groaned, plopping on the bed behind her.
"Then can you tell me that you don't love him?"
"Yes," Star said full of pride as she stood up to face her mother again. "I do not love-" Star's voice halted. She coughed, clearing her throat.
"What was that?" Moon asked tauntingly.
"I said, I do not love-" Her voice failed her again, as if it refused to oblige to her orders.
"Ugh, why can't I say it!" Star curtained her face with her hair.
"Anti-lying jinx, courtesy of yours truly, Gllllllosarrrryk!" The small blue genie said.
"You sold me out Glossaryk? I thought we had an understanding!" Star said accusingly. "No more hints that I like Marco! Showing him my journal was your death sentence!"
"I'm still alive, aren't I? And what can I say?" Glossaryk asked, floating from his open magic book through the magic mirror. "I'm a sucker for butterscotch." He finished as the queen handed him a small cup of pudding.
Star's hearts mirrored her blazing fury, tuning into flaming skulls. Pudding will burn tonight, she thought.
"So what was that about not liking him?" Her mother asked cockily.
"Okay, fine. Secret's out, I like Marco in that way. Big whoop. Just don't tell him, okay? Things are as complicated as they are, with the whole suitors thing." Star said exasperated.
The queen's expression suddenly became caring and supportive, like any mother would be.
"Darling, I won't tell your friend how you feel. That'll be up to you. You're kind of going to get married, after all."
"But...I don't want to force anything on him, what if he doesn't feel the same way?" Star asked.
"Seriously? Who wouldn't fall for a reckless, irresponsible princess like yourself?" The words by themselves seemed harsh, somewhat apathetic. But the tone her mom said it in made her smile.
"I fell for your father, so hard in fact I had to pin him against a wall so he could stay and I couldn't wimp out as I told him how I felt."
"How did that turn out?" Star asked.
"Horrible, and terrific." The queen answered with a smile.
"Okay, I'll try. Interdimensional hug?" Star asked.
"I prefer a real life hug." Moon answered. She tore a portal for Star to pass through. Star ran through it and into her mother's waiting arms, smiling at the rare gesture of affection she hardly gets from her mother.
"Oh, and mom?"
"Yes dear?"
"I never want a mother-daughter talk like that ever again."
"I understand. Boy talk is awkward, but it's a mother's job."
"Mind if I stay here until Marco and dad get back?"
"Of course not Star."
The duo were quickly ganged up on getting more vulnerable the longer this dumb game went on.
Eventually the two were on the ground in pain. River started to laugh, then Marco followed. Soon enough the two were rolling around laughing as hard as they could, despite the immense pain they felt.
"Ahh, if I still had feeling in my legs I bet it would hurt so much." Marco said.
"Just battle wounds my boy, they'll heal." River assured. "Believe me, when the adrenaline dies down, you're gonna have one hell of a sore morning."
The two got a closer look at their attire. Beaten up, ragged, ripped, and covered in mud.
"Sorry about your clothes, my boy." The king apologized.
"Happens a lot. Don't worry, I've bought a surplus of hoodies ever since Star began raiding my closet."
"Guess we should be heading back now, then." River suggested.
They discarded their broken weapons, walking towards what they hoped was the way out of the mountain range.
As they approached the carriage and the servants waiting for them, River handed Marco a flask and a comb. When they reached the carriage, River opened the trunk and pulled something out of it.
"I suggest that you change. I'm not sure dressing like a peasant that looks like he got sat on by a giant for an hour will make a good impression on people." River said, tossing him some folded clothes.
Marco looked at the outfit that River gave him, arching a brow at him questionably.
"I was told by Star that you liked red, so I had tailors make that for you the next time you visited."
Marco nodded and slipped into the red clothing, wiping his face clean and combing his hair to messy perfection. It felt comfortable.
"How do I look?" He asked the king, modeling a pose.
"Mighty fine, m'boy, mighty fine!"
River changed into his own royal blue garbs, grabbing the comb from Marco and fixing up his beard. He put on and adjusted his crown.
"What do you say we head back?" River asked, opening the carriage door.
River climbed into the carriage, with Marco following in suit. The coach shut the carriage door, climbing into the driver seat and driving the carriage back to Mewni.
"So then I blew up the heat box because it wouldn't give me my burrito-"
"I believe that's an unsuitable use for the wand." Queen Butterfly told her daughter.
"I was protecting my burrito!" Star retorted.
The conversation was soon cut short, the loud creaking of the castle doors slowly swinging open.
Star switched her attention to the entrance of the castle, quickly making her way to greet her best friend. She was so anxious to finally see him in person after isolation from him for a week.
She waited at the huge doors followed by her mother, which brought in rays of blinding light when it fully opened, leaving Star slightly dazed for a moment.
When her eyes adjusted, she caught a glance of her best friend.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the day Star Butterfly's mental state died.
The air was sucked out of her lungs, her heart froze, before beating faster than normal, and she was pretty sure some brain cells died too as she took in her best friend's appearance, her face beginning to flush as she got hypnotized by his appearance.
"Star!" He said.
Her heart rate spiked even more (somehow) at the sound of him calling her name, making it awfully harder to her knees always felt this weak?
He was wearing a bright red military outfit, with a gold trim laced on its edges. The slacks he wore were black, a darker contrast to the rest of his outfit, tucked into a pair of brown combat boots. He sported a black leather belt with a yin-yang crest as a buckle around his waist. A cape drooped lazily off of his left shoulder, sewed to a shoulder guard. A hood hung off the back of his neck, which was expected from an outfit of his.
He looked too handsome, Star was afraid she'd be too flustered to breathe.
Marco noticed Star staring at him wordlessly with wide eyes and glowing cheeks. Worried that she might've caught a fever, he stepped closer to her with his eyebrows scrunched together.
"Star? Are you alright?" He asked concerned, putting his hand on her forehead.
He suddenly was a step closer to her, his hand was on her face, and Star realized she had done nothing but stare at him. She cleared her dry throat, her face still flushing because of Marco's unexpected looks.
"Sorry Marco, spaced out."
"..."
"..."
"MARCO!" She exclaimed, tackling him in a tight hug. She expected him to be knocked over with the force of the hug, but he felt like a soft wall that stood its ground when she charged into him.
Star was surprised at his strength resistance and balance. Maybe his training really did pay off.
Marco felt the air knocked out from his lungs faster than he could blink. He instinctively hugged her back, though he struggled to breathe as Star strangled him.
"Ack...S-star..." He tried, but Star's face was buried too deep in his chest.
Marco tried again, searching within himself for what little air he had left. "St-STAR!"
Star loosened her grip a bit and looked up at him, Marco gasping and coughing as his lungs were free to expand once more.
"I missed you too Star, but can you loosen up on the hug? It's strength can rival that of boa constrictors." He said, smiling down at her. "I'm still kind of sore from all the life threatening training sessions I went through. But even after all that it was kind of dull without you."
"Yeah, not having you around sucks." She replied.
They separated, but still holding each others arms with bright smiles still adorned on their faces.
River coughed to gain their attention.
"Alright lovebirds, save it for later." River said.
The two blushed and parted quickly, fidgeting with a piece of their clothing.
"We aren't lovers." They said in unison.
"Yes well, I'd just like to inform Marco that the competition has been planned. The event will be divided into three tasks, and he is expected to go up against seven other suitors." Queen Butterfly announced.
"Three, huh? I don't suppose I'm gonna know what those tasks are, am I?" Marco said, in deep thought of how he was going to do this.
King and Queen Butterfly shook their heads. "I'm afraid not, tis would give you an unfair advantage." The king said.
"Understood. When do the events start?" Marco asked.
"Oh, sometime around...tomorrow." River answered casually.
Marco's eyes widened in alert. "TOMORROW!?"
River scratched his head in confusion. "Why? Is that an issue?"
"YES, IT'S AN ISSUE! Crap, I gotta prepare! I need a plan, shoot! Sorry Star but I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow, alright bye!" Marco zoomed down the castle corridors, entering the guest room he had stayed in for a week and slammed the door shut.
"Aww, but I wanted to hang out!" Star pouted, her mom giving her a comforting pat on the shoulder.
"Well we won't be seeing him anytime soon. Who's up for nachos?" River asked with a smile.