Dear mickie,
I want to work this out between us I cant tell you how sorry I am for what I have put you through I wish we could talk about this and try to work it out. I know there's no excuse for things ive done and said to you but im still very much in love with you and I think you may be to. We can work this out and be like best friends again, I would get down on my knees and beg at your feet if that's what it takes for you to give me another chance to be apart of your life. I'm determined to keep you in my life, im lost without you.
I've had sleepless nights tossing and turning thinking about what happened between us all I could hear was my heart beating much faster than it ever has worrying about you hundreds maybe thousands of miles away while im sat here at the kitchen table writing this.
It took a year for me to get you and a year for me to loose you, ive made mistakes not sharing my worries with you like a man is meant to with his wife but I didnt want you to worry also. And I didnt handle it all to well I lashed out at you many of times verbally, I should of realised sooner that I was behaving the way I was but in my mind I hadn't changed.
I only realised that when you left me and I had three days to sit and think about everything, I know it's probably hard for you to believe that a few counselling sessions and a new found outlet for my anger can help but I promise you it has, ive changed so much in this past week. I still have work to do ive got a long way to go but im not going to stop until im the man that was stood at that alter and you promised your life to.
A few people have told me you've said you cant forgive me and neither will you forgot the pain I caused you but ever since I had time realise what I had done was wrong ive regretted it.
There are no words from which I can say the importance you have in my life, it seems like everything has faded and there is no colour in the world for me.
I know we have been through very hard times and I accept that it was all was my fault but I also apologize to you and you also need know that I love you very, very much and that I can't live without you.
I know sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry for hurting you over this past year, and I hope you can find it in yourself to give me another chance I know forgiving me will take time but just give me a chance to prove im not the man you grew to hate.
Ill be thinking about you
John