Chapter 21:

Price was the first one of us to move, he started pacing the room. "The bastard can't get away with this."

"He already has, there's nothing you can do about it now." Ghost sighed, pushing away from the desk to stand up and lean against the desk. "Shepherd can do what he wants remember, he's the boss."

"Ghost's right, Shepherd's too influential in the military." Soap agreed, frowning slightly in thought. "Haven't you got any contacts Price?"

"Maybe, I don't know if it will be any good for this though." Soap noticed my lack of input and turned towards me. "Roach?" He asked quietly, snapping me from my thoughts and I looked at him questioningly "You ok mate? Spacing out a bit there, we need all the brain power we can get."

"Not sure I can help you out there." I joked before pulling a face. "Sorry, my usual reaction. Don't worry about me, we have to do something."

"I'll call up my contacts, see what I can do, if anything." Price mused.

"Take this to the top, you know, the ones Shepherd cant influence." Soap paused and sighed heavily. "It would be risky…"

Ghost slammed a hand on the table suddenly, making us all jump before relaxing when we saw it was only Ghost. Loud sudden noises were never a good thing for military guys, too many gunshots and explosions. "No!" He shouted, pausing to sigh heavily to calm down. "You could all lose your jobs, it's not worth the risk for mine." He looked at me and murmured his next words quietly but we all still heard. "I'm not worth it."

With that he pushed away from the desk and left the room. When the door shut Price turned to give me the look, meaning I needed to get my arse after Ghost and talk - or slap, whichever worked more effectively - some sense into him. "Ok I'm going already, jeez." I winked at them and left to follow after Ghost.

This wasn't going to be easy, Ghost I soon found out had yet again disappeared off the face of the earth, lucky me. I wondered over to the rec room, hoping someone had at least seen him and found Poet inside. "Alright Roach, what's up? What did Shepherd want?"

I shrugged and walked over. "Not much really, just being his usual stuck up arse."

He chuckled at that. "Careful, he's still on base remember. If he hears you talking like that you're dead."

"I'm dead anyway." I muttered, shaking my head when Poet gave me a questioning look. "How's Ozone doing?" Poet and Ozone were close mates and I know he took the injury to his friend hard.

Poet smiled at that. "He's doing well, should be out of the infirmary in a few days."

I smiled back. "That's good then. You haven't seen Ghost around have you?" I asked, trying to come across offhanded but Poet saw through it and scoffed.

"Trying to suck up to the Lieutenant again are we? He's gunna bust your ass soon or later." I coughed at that, not that I was going to tell Poet that Ghost had already done just that. "I saw him about five minutes ago, looked like he was heading for the Pitt. Be careful man, he looked pissed."

"I'll take my chances. Thanks Poet, see you later." With a wave I left again, heading for the Pitt and when I passed the armoury I noticed an ACR, Poet was right. Heading out to the Pitt I stood in the observation box to see Ghost was about halfway through the simulation. I have no idea why he ran this thing so many times, after all, he held the record. My guess was repetitive actions calmed him, I knew Ghost wasn't one for change so this must be sorta therapeutic for him in a way. After a few more rounds, Ghost spotted me and stopped so I went down to talk to him. "Hey."

"Whatever it is Roach, not now." He told me bluntly but I just raised an eyebrow at him.

"And I'm not taking that dismissal." Ghost just sighed and turned to look at me. "You may be my Lieutenant, but I'm not speaking to you as a Sergeant, I'm speaking to you as Gary."

"What is it?" He asked more softly and I took that as recognition so approached him to lean against the table.

"We need a plan."

"Forget it." I opened my mouth to object but Ghost just covered it with his hand. "I'm telling you this not as your superior, but as your… well whatever the hell I am to you. The point is you can't go up against Shepherd, you'll lose you head."

I frowned, pulling his hand away. "We've got to try, if we don't then you'll have to leave."

"No."

"But-"

"No Gary!" He cut me off sharply and I scowled at him. "Just, shut up would you." He muttered, yanking his mask up before leaning down to kiss me. "You're not risking your neck for me, neither is Soap or Price, end of." He murmured against my lips before pulling back and adjusting his mask. "Please leave it."

I realised this was going nowhere, not that Ghost kissing me helped at all. With a sigh I nodded and squeezed his arm. "Ok, I'll leave you to it." Ghost nodded in reply so I left. I had pushed my luck anyway with him, if it had been anyone but me then, well they probably wouldn't be much left of them right now. Since I had nothing better to do, I joined Poet in the rec room for the day.

When I returned to my room and went to bed, I was surprised that I wasn't bothered. I half expected-half hoped Ghost would come knocking, but he never did. When I got up the next day, I found a note had been slipping under the door. Curious I picked it up and sat down, opening the neatly folded paper to read it.

' Gary,

I'm sorry but I'm leaving with Shepherd tonight. Well for you it will be last night by the time you read this so I've already gone. You know better than anybody that I don't do emotions well. Tell the others, especially Soap and Price, that I said goodbye and sorry. I really am sorry Gary, please forgive me one day.

Just do me one favour and look after yourself now I'm not there to protect your ass. You've given me something I never thought I'd feel again, you gave me hope Gary and I will never forget that. What I feel for you will never change and who knows, maybe I'll see you again someday. Until then, I guess this is goodbye. Try not to get shot.

- Simon '

I clenched the note tightly once I'd finished it, still processing the words in my head as my chest tightened and suddenly found it very hard to breathe. I couldn't understand it, Ghost never ran away, he never did this, did he? "No…" I jumped up, yanking my door open and took off down the hallways, almost knocking Soap over but he managed to jump to the side in time.

"Roach?!" He asked bewildered, following after me since I didn't reply. I skidded to a halt in front of Ghost's door and with a trembling hand I knocked on the wooden surface which swung open at my touch. Walking inside, I already knew he was gone, even if the room looked exactly the same, it just felt empty. Soap came to a panting halt beside me and gave me a bewildered look. "What the hell is going on?"

I handed him Ghost's note. "He left."

Soap read it, taking several minutes to respond. He pressed the note back in my hand and steered me away from the room. "Roach I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, it's that bastard Shepherd's." I growled and Soap frowned, shaking me slightly.

"Keep your head clear laddie, anger isn't a good friend in judgement calls. Let's go fin Price and figure something out." I nodded and let him lead me away from the empty room.