"There is something that is often not taken into account in the mathematics of karma. Just like borrowing money from a loan shark the interest accumulates and grows, and grows. Until it is virtually impossible to even conceive of a way of paying it. In other words: redemption is an illusion. You can say that you are paying me with interest, hence your death. About which, do allow me to elaborate."
Izaya sat on a crate, legs crossed, close enough for his victim to see the genuine glee in his visible red eye.
"I've injected a chemical into your blood stream. When I push this button the compound will become active and increase your heartbeat until the sheer pressure in your blood vessels kills you."
Izaya dangled a switch with a big red button. To Shizuo it looked like a device straight from a children's cartoon but there was nothing funny about this. Izaya placed it on the floor, the man struggling to no avail. Izaya's smile grew wide and then he was stomping on the switch, laughing with an edge of hysteria. It became louder and more insane as he gathered momentum.
Shizuo was caught looking from Izaya's crazy semi-dance and the man's death throes. A chill ran down his spine. He was about to stop Izaya when Izaya halted suddenly.
"Ah, I'm bored now. I wonder…what I'll do when they're all dead. Can't kill them twice."
Shizuo did not want to see the bloody mess that was a living human just recently. Izaya's ploy of forcing the eyes wide open was apparently to see them burst in sprays of blood. Shizuo reached out to gently guide him away from the carnage scene but Izaya slapped his hand away.
"Don't touch me. I can't see from by blind side."
"Sorry. Let's just go away."
Izaya stared at his handiwork of death for a long time.
"Shizuo, I don't know what kind of hell this piece of human scum is fit for. But I wonder, what kind of hell would fit me?"
Shizuo did not like the ring of the question. Izaya sounded very distant. Shizuo took his hand.
"Whatever hell that is, I'll be there with you. That much you can rest assured of."
"Ah. I see."
Shizuo could only breathe when they were safely back in Izaya's apartment.
"Do you know why I'm killing them off one by one?"
"Revenge, isn't it?"
"I could call it 'justice' and perhaps it is so but you are right. The thing I fear the most it's death. A kind of death that results from being so utterly powerless. Each time I put an end to one of their lives I realize how alive I am."
"I understand."
"You probably don't but thanks."
Silence. It remained as Izaya very slowly caressed Shizuo's cheek. Barely touching his lips. There was something highly disturbing in the potential for vicious violence and gentleness in the same person.
"Can I remove your eyepatch?"
Izaya nodded. Shizuo proceeded with very careful gestures.
"I like you with glasses but I'll be very happy when you no longer need to wear them."
"Should I get those pigtails after all?"
"No need."
Izaya slid until his head was resting on Shizuo's lap. Slowly, Shizuo patted his head, his long fingers brushing smooth black hair. Izaya closed his eyes, taking deep silent breaths. Shizuo could feel each breath Izaya took. It brought home how delicate his body was. Shizuo swallowed a sudden knock in his throat.
"At one point I thought that if they were going to make me blind they might as well kill me. And for someone like to think such a thing…it's as if I was not Orihara Izaya. So who was I? Or what was I?"
"You're still you."
"It's a tautology but thanks anyway."
More silence. Shizuo knew that it had to be Izaya to break it. And tear down the wordless spell. Shizuo wondered if it was their homely routine that made him so attuned to Izaya's timing. Or perhaps it was a by product of deeper emotions. Shizuo decided that it was a combination.
"I'm not bothered that for all practical purposes I'm a eunuch now. Isn't that odd? I don't think I'll ever want to even think about sex- let alone having it."
"I think that it's because you feel like that that you're that way. Since it's all in your mind."
"Perhaps. Perhaps when I want to do it I will able to."
"Yeah. That's what I think. Just take your time."
"I'm happy being celibate…that too isn't Orihara Izaya."