See Chapter 1 for info & warnings
Please don't say I love you
Those words touch me much too deeply and make my heart tremble
Don't think you realize the affect you have over me
And please don't come so close!
It makes me wanna me you near me always.
~Jewel "Near You Always"
The next night, Livien insisted upon helping Tanilea braid her hair for the party. The Padawan drew her Master's long midnight hair back from her face, tying it at the nape of her neck with a deep red ribbon to match Tanilea's dress, and separated the ponytail into dozens of smaller braids. Livien examined her work critically. "Is that alright, Master?"
"It's beautiful, Liv. Thank you. Do you need any help with yours?"
The young woman laughed. "I don't think there's much I can do with it! It's only about an inch long all around."
"True." Tanilea looked at her Padawan's long, flowing blue dress It shimmered slightly, accentuating her lithe form. "It's stunning on you."
"Thank you, Master! And thank you for giving it to me."
"I confess, it wasn't mine to begin with. It belonged to Master Lanar. She gave it to me. Now I give it to you." Long-past memories made the Jedi smile to herself. "She gave it to me before the first dance I attended with her. Some diplomatic ball... I don't remember exactly."
"Was it fun?"
"I didn't think it would be at the time. I dreaded it, in fact. But then Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon showed up. This was before Qui-Gon and I began seeing each other. He did dance with me, though. I must have been about... oh, seventeen. It was one of the best nights of my life."
"Maybe tonight will be as nice."
"I hope so!" Tanilea tried in vain to reach the fastening on the back of her low-necked crimson dress. "Liv, could you help me?"
Livien stepped closer and began work on the fastening. "Always, Master."
Obi-Wan picked Tanilea and Livien out the moment they walked in the door. Sending a blinding smile their way, he quickly cut a path through the throng of people surrounding the refreshments. He wore a long black shirt with a high collar, tight tan pants and black boots. /I don't think I've ever seen him look so handsome!/ "Who are you and what have you done with Obi-Wan? Hmm?"
"Hello to you too!" He bowed slightly to the two women. "The two of you are absolutely beautiful."
Tanilea fingered the silky material of his shirt. "You don't look half bad yourself," she teased.
"I think I'm going to go say hello to Anakin," Livien said quietly, slipping into the crowd.
"I was never that quiet at her age."
"You were never quiet at any age."
Tanilea elbowed Obi-Wan gently in the ribs. The music picked up, no longer a slow song. "Care to dance?"
"If you still remember how."
As they danced onto the floor, Tanilea shot back, "Me? I was never the one who had trouble dancing."
"That so?" He spun her around, then stopped her momentum by pulling her close. Tanilea felt her breath catch. "Things change."
"I guess so." There was something about the way her body felt pressed against his that was absolutely right. But her mind rebelled. The very notion of Obi-Wan as more than a dear friend sent an odd combination of excitement and fear coursing through Tanilea's veins. She silently thanked the Force that she had thought to increase her mental shielding for the night. Tanilea had no doubt that the twinkle in Obi-Wan's eyes would not be helped if he could feel her oddly contrasting emotions.
His hand on her back and the slight rippling of his muscles beneath the thin shirt made the rest of the room melt away. /Relax! This is just Obi./ But he was no more the thirteen-year-old boy she had known long ago than she was the innocent young girl who had first come to Coruscant twenty years before. No amount of change, however, could have made it any easier to feel her heart pound at the touch of someone who Tanilea had always been safely comfortable with. She looked up into his eyes.
Again, the sensation that they were the only two people in the huge room. He sensed the change as well. Through her own clouded emotions, Tanilea sensed what his next move would be. She braced herself.
Though the Jedi thought she knew how it was being kissed by a man, she was shocked to find that kissing Obi-Wan in no way resembled her past experiences with Qui-Gon. The action was the same, but the connection differed so that it might as well have been a completely foreign experience. The touch was warmth, comfort and passion all at the same time. Tanilea leaned into the kiss, wanting it as much as he did. She let her shielding slip, no longer caring to hide her pleasure.
/No!/ Before the more impetuous half of her mind could stop her, Tanilea broke the contact and stepped away from Obi-Wan. /I need to get away from here... think./ "I-I'm sorry," she stammered. Quickly as Tanilea exited the room, she sent to Livien, who was dancing with another Padawan, /I have a horrible headache. I'm going to bed early. I'll see you in the morning. Have fun./
She breathed a sigh of relief as soon as she saw the darkness of night through the final set of double doors. Bursting through the doors, Tanilea drew a deep breath into her lungs and tried to exhale the chaos of her suddenly-troubled mind. It didn't work.