Hello!

I love you guys. I'm cereal.

You're gonna have to stick with me here. HEA is on the horizon. Trust.

Thanks to Momma Bear and LouderThanSirens for putting up with me.

Thanks to stephk0525 for putting up with me.

Thanks to jajo and RoseArcadia for putting up with me.

Thanks to my twitter beeches who make all of this ish fun.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

My mom always said that the only thing that we can control in life is ourselves. Pretty much everything else is out of our hands.

There are times when life steamrolls over you, leaving you wondering what the fuck just happened, and how you got here.

This is one of those times.

I hate flying. I'm claustrophobic, and there's something about breathing dry, recycled air that makes my throat want to close.

Rose gives me a Valium in the airport, which helps with the anxiety but whacks me out for the rest of the day. She usually takes one as well but opts out, saying she isn't feeling well.

I pass out shortly after we get home from the airport, so tired that I don't bother to unpack or even brush my teeth.

I wake up late the next morning to a sweet voicemail from Edward. He doesn't answer when I call him back, so I figure he's at the gym or at practice.

Before we left the lake we discussed the fact that we aren't always going to communicate well. With the time difference, busy schedules, his jealousy and my paranoia, it's inevitable, so we came up with a plan.

We have a "safe word" for when one of us is feeling neglected and/or just really needs to talk. It sounded stupid at first, but Rose and Emmett assured us that it's necessary. Rose pointed out the fact that I have a very active imagination, and that one missed phone call could turn into a real fight if I get carried away.

She's right, of course.

I get a twinge of sadness when I get in the shower alone, so I try to focus on conjuring up his voice in the message. He sounded tired, and I could tell he was in bed, his words slightly muffled by a pillow.

I'm really going to miss waking up with him.

Him in my bed.

Him in my shower.

In my shower. Fuck.

I probably need to buy a vibrator.

I get out of the shower feeling squeaky clean and totally unsatisfied. Unfortunately, this may be a feeling I need to get used to.

I'm contemplating the few clean clothes in my closet when Rose walks in and flops down on my bed, completely disregarding my near-nudity, as usual.

"Morning, sunshine," I trill, glancing at her over my shoulder. I hold up a dress that I don't remember buying, trying to decide if I like it.

"So, B?" She starts, and the sound of her voice in those two words is enough to give me pause. I spin slowly around to look at her, slightly alarmed. She's lying with one arm thrown over her eyes, but I can tell by her trembling lower lip that she's either about to cry, or already is.

I grab the first tank top I see, throw it on and sit on the bed facing her. When she drops her arm from her face I start to get really freaked out. Her skin is red and blotchy, and her eyes are swollen as she stares blankly ahead. When she finally looks at me, her face contorts, the thin veneer cracking. She sits up and throws her arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder.

"Rose, what's wrong? Tell me," I whisper, stroking her hair. I have a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I can count on one hand the number of times that I've seen Rose cry like this. I search my brain for an event that could trigger this kind of outburst. Yesterday is a little hazy, due to the Valium…but she said she felt queasy, and she didn't have any drinks on the flight…

Oh shit.

"Oh my god, are you pregnant?" I spit out, pulling back to look at her. She doesn't speak, but the look on her face is answer enough. She lets me push her hair behind her ears and wipe the tears from her cheeks while she eyes the ceiling, trying to get it together, breathing out in short puffs.

Where the hell is Jasper?

"Did you call Emmett?" I ask gently.

She just shakes her head, more tears spilling. "Fuck," she whispers, burying her head in her hands. My mind races to catch up. I understand why she's upset, but her reaction seems a little extreme. She and Emmett love each other. We have money. We aren't, like, 16 or anything. She's going to be a great mother.

"Rose, maybe this isn't necessarily a bad thing…" I start. Her head snaps up, her glare cutting me off.

Wrong answer.

"Oh yeah," she says sarcastically, "this is going to go over just fucking great. We live across the country from each other, we're not married and we're both still in school."

All valid points. I text J to tell him to get his ass home. He responds that he's already on his way.

I hear the back door slam, and two sets of feet on the stairs.

Jasper walks into my room frowning, Alice right behind him. I stand up and put jeans on while the two of them sit down on either side of Rose. He rubs her back, looking to me for explanation. He looks about as weirded out as I feel.

"I'm pregnant," she blurts out. She's a little calmer now, as she usually is when Jasper's there.

J and Alice sit with their mouths hanging open for a second before collecting themselves. We're in uncharted territory here.

She explains that she missed a couple of pills and told Emmett, but they weren't really worried about it and didn't use condoms that week to back it up. Despite the fact that none of us judge her, she gets defensive, pointing out that Alice and Jasper had a scare last year. She's right, but right now that hardly matters.

"You need to call Emmett," Jasper says softly.

"He's still at practice," she mumbles, glancing at my alarm clock.

"When did you know?" I ask.

"Yesterday. I don't get usually sick on planes and I barfed when I woke up this morning, so I went and got a test. Since false positives are a near-impossibility…yeah. I just can't believe I have to tell him this over the phone." She shakes her head, eyes closed.

My heart hurts when I hear her say that.

I haven't told them that I'm moving yet. I made Edward promise to let me break the news, and now I feel really guilty. Rose stayed with me last fall when he broke my heart, and suddenly I'm forced to consider the possibility that she and Emmett could break up. I realize, again, what a good friend and cousin she is, but I can now fully understand how hard it must have been for her to be away from him.

Even the suggestion of a longer separation from Edward nauseates me.

I'm a selfish asshole.

If it weren't for me she would be, at the very least, dealing with this face-to-face. I'm going to have to tell her soon.

She doesn't volunteer any more information, so we stay with her until she gets up, her legs shaky, and follow her down to the living room where her phone sits on the coffee table.

Rose and Emmett have a "safe word", too, of course. Theirs must be something dirty, because she covers her mouth and whispers it into the phone, leaving him a one-word voicemail that is going to change everything.

We watch shitty reality TV while we wait. I make sandwiches for lunch, but no one really eats. Rose doesn't even look at hers.

He calls around noon.

I hear her phone ring from in the kitchen. Jasper and Alice troop in a second later, giving her a minute alone in the living room. We pretend to busy ourselves cleaning up from lunch, but there isn't much to do, and conversation is impossible, because we're totally eavesdropping.

Emmett doesn't react well to the news, apparently. She goes from speaking quietly one second, her voice thick with emotion, to screaming some of the most creative insults I've ever heard. Then there's only silence.

I want to find her raging, her phone broken and her eyes wild. That is a scene I'm prepared to witness. That I could handle. What we find instead makes my eyes water and my entire body ache.

She's standing with one palm pressed over her lips; her eyes squeezed shut, every muscle in her body tense, like she's holding back a scream. She drops her phone onto the floor, clamping her other hand over her mouth.

We approach her cautiously, but before any of us get there she turns and runs to the bathroom to throw up.

After that she turns off her phone.

I can't help but notice that mine remains conspicuously silent for the rest of the day.

I spend the night in Rose's room, curled up behind her rubbing her back until she falls into a fitful sleep. I reach quietly for my phone and text Edward, being careful not to move too much.

What's going on? Why haven't you called me? –B

I'm surprised when he texts me right back.

Sorry. With Em. He's fucking hammered. It will be better tmr. Promise. –E

Before I can respond, I get another.

I love you. –E

I exhale slowly, smiling. This is for real. We're for real. He's not running away. He's taking care of Emmett, and trying to make this better.

I love you too. –B

In the morning, Emmett doesn't call, but Edward does. Rose says she can't stand cooking smells right now so we're eating cereal and reading the paper. If she seriously can't cook for nine months, I'm going to starve to death.

I grab my phone when it rings and look at her apologetically, stepping out of the room to answer.

"Hey."

"So…holy shit, huh?" He grumbles, obviously still in bed.

"That's kind of an understatement," I bite out, a little annoyed that he sounds so cavalier about it. "What the hell did he say to her? She won't tell us."

He's quiet for a minute. I can hear him breathing. "He definitely didn't say the right thing," he admits reluctantly. I can tell he doesn't want to have this conversation.

"Yeah, I gathered that. So, spill it."

He sighs. "He told her that he needed some time to think about what he wants to do," he says quietly.

I consider that. I can see why Rose is angry. That probably wasn't the sentiment she was looking for, even if it was the one she was expecting. From Emmett's perspective, however, it must have been sudden and surprising, and maybe he genuinely didn't know how to react.

"I get it, but this is happening whether or not he's ready to deal with it, so…" I trail off.

"He might have said something else that…wasn't good," he hedges, sounding unsure.

"What?"

"You need to understand something," he responds, taking a deep breath, "our father has been telling us to watch out for women who are only after money since we were kids. If he finds out about this…I don't know what he's going to do. He still has complete control over our accounts. He could cut Emmett off completely."

"He wouldn't do that, would he? I mean…would he?"

"I don't know, Bella. This is pretty much the one thing that we've been instructed to avoid since childhood." He sounds irritated, which pisses me off.

"Well, maybe Emmett should have thought of that when he decided to skip putting on a condom after Rose told him she missed a few pills," I snipe.

I'm met with silence, which drags on and gets uncomfortable.

"Hello?" I ask after about a full minute of dead air.

"He didn't tell me that."

"I can see why not."

"That makes what he said next even worse," he groans.

I sit up a little, furrowing my brow. "There's more?"

"He told her that my – that our father was going to want a paternity test."

At that, I stalk out the front door of the house, because the rage that's consuming me isn't something that Rose needs to witness right now. My skin flushes cold and then hot. My chest is heaving.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I whisper-yell once I get outside. "Put that motherfucker on the phone!"

"Bella-"

"Put him on the FUCKING PHONE, Edward." This time I really do yell, pausing to wave at a startled neighbor who happens to be walking by with her dog. "Sorry, Mrs. Stanley. Good morning. Sorry," I stutter as she strides briskly away.

Whatever.

I refocus, listening to the rustling of sheets and a whole bunch of sighing. I picture him sitting on the edge of the bed now, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "Bella, I don't know if this is a good idea. He didn't really mean it like that. He didn't say that he wanted one, just that our father would. You know Emmett's not an asshole, he's just scared."

"He basically called her a fucking gold digger, Edward. If you could have seen her face…" My voice is getting louder again. I'm standing with my hand on my hip in the front yard…in my pajamas. Awesome.

"Fine. I'm going," he concedes.

More rustling. I hear a groan, and then a small, gravelly voice. "Hello?"

"Paternity test? Seriously? How could you say that shit to her, Em?"

His breath hitches, but he doesn't say anything. I want to reach through the phone and strangle him, but more than that he needs to make this right.

I decide on somewhere in the middle.

"Whatever your issue is, whatever you need to deal with, fucking do it, and then call her. Not because it's the right thing to do, but because you love her and she's sick and she's scared. If you walk away now, she's never going to forgive you, but more importantly, you're never going to forgive yourself."

I pause, remembering her face after she got off the phone with him yesterday. I clench my jaw, channeling Rose's ire when she goes into protective mode.

"Oh, and Emmett? If you say anything like that to her ever again, I will find you and kick your motherfucking ass. No joke. Peace."

I hang up dramatically, but it's without the satisfaction that usually comes after telling someone off.

Rose went back to bed while I was outside, so I relay the conversation verbatim to Jasper and Alice, including the fact that I ended the conversation by saying "peace".

We all agree that I'm a dork.

We are also all hoping that this blows over quickly. They love each other. He shouldn't have said that shit, because even if it's true it's just not a comment that has a place in their first conversation about their future child. That said, sometimes my gut reactions aren't entirely appropriate either. I start to feel a little bad about blowing up at him.

Not that bad, though.

Jasper calls Edward shortly after that, and they agree that we need to bring in the big guns. Carlisle is on our doorstep within the hour and disappears into Rose's room. Esme is on her way to Texas to deal with Emmett.

I spend the day cleaning the house, which I never do. There's something cathartic about scrubbing away the dirt that accumulated over the summer, though it's fairly minimal since the house was cleaned before we got home. Jasper and Alice hover around while I work. We're mostly silent, because there's not much to say.

Carlisle stays with Rose until she finally falls asleep, and then he stays in the guest room. I hear him get up a few times in the night to check on her.

A few things occur to me while I'm laying sleepless and alone in my bed. I grab my notebook and start scribbling notes.

Edward must really trust me, or he's just a reckless moron; maybe a little bit of both. I think of that first time with him in the lake, with no barrier between us, and contemplate what that really means to someone like him. Sadly, I admit to myself that in some ways it meant nothing, because I was one amongst so many. I think that may have been his way of tempting fate; the ultimate middle finger to his father, when he had no other way to get to him. I know it's different between us now, but this could ruin Rose and Emmett's relationship, and they're perfect for each other. I'm not sure how to feel about it yet.

After I'm done purging my thoughts onto paper, I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling, much like Rose did yesterday, trying to find some answers.

I wonder if I'm going to meet his father, and when.

I wonder if Emmett is going to get it together.

Most of all, I wonder what Rose is going to do if he doesn't.

Four chaps left!?!

Crazy talk, right?

Gonna miss these darn kids.

Find me on twitter. It's locked, but not because I don't want to be twitter friends with you, so just send a request!

http://twitter(dot)com/sweetlolapop

Also, working on a story with Belle Dean (who rocks, and you should go read Winter of Love). We're callling it a novella (novelette?) that we'll be posting under the penname BelleLola. More info to come soon!

Thanks for reading.