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Young and strong, the voice of my father said,
"Don't give up, don't be forgotten."
It's hell on earth.
I just wanna run away.
They told me dreams don't grow from here.
Stay alone.
Count your fears.
Somewhere down the line I might figure it out.
Singing all my songs to bedroom mirrors.
Deep inside my heart, I'm still here.
They Don't Need To Understand – Andy Black
I groan as I regain consciousness, my eyes opening to a very blurry scene. Through the blur I see Happy, my dad and Jax looking down at me and from the looks on their faces, none of them are fucking happy.
Awesome.
"So the idiot awakes" My dad retorts and I groan.
Yep not happy at all.
"Sorry" I mumble
I sit up and rub at my eyes to see my hands bandaged, another groan leaves my lips as I remember the explosion at the warehouse, the heat that fell over me just before I passed out.
"What happened?" I ask quietly
"Well we were simply driving down the road to come to your clubhouse and we see this big explosion at this abandoned warehouse. We pull in to see yours and Slash's bikes parked outside. So we went in a pulled your asses out" my dad replies
"Do you want to tell us what the fuck happened and why you need a warehouse?" Jax growls
I take a deep breath and look down at my hands thinking of how to word everything right. It seems when it comes to these men I can't keep anything fucking secret.
"The warehouse was storing guns"
"WHAT" my dad shouts
My eyes snap to Happy as he growls and begins pacing at the bottom of the bed I'm lying in, it's only then I realize I'm in my bed at my clubhouse. I revert my eyes and look at my dad and Jax to see them just as angry and sigh.
"We needed a money income but also something to help us with Hook if he ever came knocking"
"Who supplies you?" Jax asks
"The Irish"
"How the fuck could you get into bed with them Nicole"
"The reapers have been in bed with them for years. I know what I'm doing, well Wolf does" I shrug
"Why didn't you tell us?" Happy asks
"I knew you'd all act like this, you forget I know this life as well so stop acting like I don't" I retort getting angry
"What about the warehouse?" Jax asks cutting into the oncoming argument and I send him a grateful smile which he returns with a nod "Was that retaliation?"
"Not from the Irish" I state "We think it might be from Hook?"
"Why?" Happy asks coming to a stop near the end of the bed
"That shootout a couple of weeks ago?" I state and they all nod "We were ambushed and we shot back and didn't ask questions but as we took note of all the bodies we found Hook's old lady Dottie there. We'd killed her"
"Right" my dad nods "Which now means you guys are defiantly the crown toppers of Hook's shit list which means any fucker and their mothers associated with you is on there too. But oh no me as your father and Happy as your old man don't get to fucking know that"
"I was trying to keep you safe" I cry
"Keep us safe" dad spits "Nicole you left us fucking blind to an attack that could have fucking happened any fucking day. The best way to have kept us safe is to have told us what the fuck you were up to"
I watch dejected as my dad and Happy storm out the room slamming the door behind them, I drop my head into my hands as I feel tears begin to build in the corner of my eyes.
"And that's why I don't get attached" I mumble
"He has a point Nik" Jax sighs sitting on the bed "You should have told us, we would help and we will"
"I don't want you getting killed for me"
"Tough shit" Jax growls "You are family and we will fight beside family. So you better start fucking telling me everything so I can help you out of this fucking shit storm you have gotten yourself and your club into"
I nod and remove my head from my hands and begin telling Jax everything, from the deal with the Irish, to the drug and gun smuggling on runs, to every dirty little detail in the war concerning Hook. Everything just spills from my mouth before I can stop it but as I say every word I watch Jax's face intently, trying to gouge what he is thinking as he listens.
"You've gotten yourself deep" he sighs as I finish
"Tell me about it" I nod "Some of it is Wolf's ideas though"
"Why follow him?" Jax asks
"Because he is president of the Mother Charter and until I've owned my own charter for a year I have to do as he says"
"You can't get into that grave Nik. If you carry on following him blindly you will end up dead. This club, your club, will follow you to fucking hell and back and not question it so you need to start thinking about you and your club not what others say"
I just nod as I try to think of the other major problem in my life right now.
"They hate me"
"No they're pissed but they'll get over it" Jax shrugs standing up
"Go you with your optimism" I chuckle
"Get some sleep Nik; we'll deal with shit tomorrow"
I nod and settle back down into the covers; Jax walks to the side of the bed near me and leans down placing a chaste kiss to my forehead. I smile at him softly watching as he walks out the room shutting the door quietly behind him.
I lay there thinking of ways of ending Hook and ending all this bullshit the war seems to bringing with it, as Jax is right, if I don't think for myself and my club we'll all be in graves by the end of the year.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"Morning Chaos"
I turn head from where I'd be sitting on a picnic table staring at the wall to see Slash walking towards me, the same bandages on his hands as is on mine. I nod and he sits on the table next to me and pulls out a smoke and hands it to me before lighting his own.
"What's the plan?" he asks
"We stop baby footing around the Hook issue, we put him to fucking ground and quickly"
"About time" Slash laughs "For a second I was scared Chaos had fucked off"
"Never" I smirk "I am fed up being scared of a man"
"Good" Slash nods blowing smoke out
I sigh taking an inhale of my own cigarette and look over towards the garage where my dad and Happy are talking to Marcus one of the workers. My dad catches my eye and looks away, I sigh shaking my head and look back to Slash.
"Do you know what damage was done?"
"Most of the warehouse burnt down but some of the guns were salvageable. I went out with Jax last night and moved them to one of their locations" he relays "I've placed a call to the Irish and they will double our next order to replace what we lost as well as move up the delivery date"
"Injuries"
"Me and you had slight burns but three of the workers were caught in the Inferno and didn't make it, others had cuts and bruises from the impact and being thrown backwards"
"Drugs"
"Perfectly fine, they were in the back and seemed to escape the inferno. They have gone to the same location as the guns"
"Cost"
"About half of the money we got on the last run"
"Fuck that much" I whistle
"Yep, but that includes the charge to the Irish for double order"
"Sometimes I feel like we make money in one hand for it just to fuck off out the other"
"Well we are at war and a new charter"
"All that is going to change" I nod "Call a church we have shit to discuss"
Slash nods and jumps up off the picnic table and heads inside the clubhouse to rally everyone. I sigh and go to stand up when a hand on my shoulder stops me; I look to see its Happy.
"Can we talk?"
"Sure" I nod
"I am not happy about your choice, I'm never fucking happy with your choices but I don't hate you"
"I know" I nod
He studies me before pulling me into his chest and slamming his lips against mine, I return the fevered kiss burying my hands into his white shirt, my grip tightening as though he's going to disappear at any given moment. I pull out the kiss to gain air and look up at him.
"Love you" I whisper
"Ditto"
"BOSS CHURCH IS READY"
I sigh "Duty calls"
"Find me after" Happy says before kissing me one more time
"Always"
I walk away from him and into the clubhouse noting that the place is very fucking quiet, even the two fucking stooges who are supposed to be cleaning it seem to be missing. I shake my head and walk into Church closing the doors behind me and over to my seat. I drop into it and pull my smokes from my pocket lighting one up. I take a few drags before talking to my guys.
"Last night we took a very big hit, but we are not going to let it cripple us" I start "Hook might be hitting us where it hurts but he is just one soldier surrounded by mean who most likely fear him. But us, we have loyalty and family"
"They are our biggest weapons and we are going to show Hook that no matter what he cannot take us down"
"What's the plan?" Queenie asks
"We start leaving evidence of shit where Hook can find it, be it where the guns are supposed to be or where the drugs get bagged. Anything. Because I know that man, he will bite and when he fucking does we will be there to end him and his band of merry men"
"Hook thinks he has us running on the defensive" Slash cuts in after I nod at him "If we step onto the attack it will blindside him because he won't be ready for it"
"Basically we start doing to opposite to what Hook expects of us" Wheels asks
"Exactly" I nod "If he thinks were on the defensive, go on the attack. If he thinks were on attack, go defensive. Shit like that"
"He'll be so busy trying to figure out what our play is to realize we're setting a trap" D smirks
"Exactly" Slash nods "He thinks he knows us, so we need to start showing that he doesn't fucking know us"
"I love it" Queenie smirks evilly
"Now onto other shit" I state lighting a new smoke "Wheel's I want you to start scouting the local police. Try and find someone who we can get on our side, hopefully a high up person. If shit with Hook goes down we need someone on our side to keep our asses out of jail"
"Got it" Wheel's nod
"Queenie I need you to start the same mission with people in town, try and find who will turn a blind eye for the right amount"
"Got it boss"
"Shy I want you to firstly get rid of the two stooges as they are fucking annoying me"
"Maverick and Whistler" he asks confused
"No the other fucking two" I snap "They aren't doing shit and argue about everything"
"Yes boss" he nods "Anything else?"
"Start looking for more bodies, appeal to the other Nomads and see if they'll come to town and help us out"
He nods and I blow out my smoke before stubbing out my cigarette in the ash tray
"D, you and Lizzie need to come up with plans for legit businesses, by this time next year I want to be earning our money legit. Make sure the plans are kept under wraps. That way Hook only knows about our criminal shit"
"You know I can do that" she smirks
"Hence why I asked you. Also D make sure you stay the fuck away from any of the major plans with Hook. I don't want the safety of my unborn brother or sister in jeopardy. My dad would never, ever forgive me"
D had announced last week that her and my dad were expecting a child, at first I was a little shocked as I had always believed that I would be an only child but it seems as though that's not what is happening. Now I'd gotten over the shock I was quite looking forward to the prospect of having a younger sibling and teaching him or her everything I know.
But hand in hand with my enjoyment was sadness at the loss of my own baby. In a way it made me want another baby but I knew I couldn't get pregnant right now, not with the shit that was going on but in the future whether Happy likes the idea or not, we are having a baby. After all I need a son or daughter to carry on my legacy.
"Don't worry Nik, Baba is safe" D says pulling me from my thoughts
"Good"
"And me?" Slash smirks "What's my job"
"You're going to prison" I smirk back "I need you to reach out to our guys inside and find out if they know anything we can use against Hook. And I need to know it by the end of the week"
"Will do"
"And another thing guys, make sure for the fucking love of god that you keep anyone and everyone associated with the club fucking safe. I don't want to have to dig the shallow graves for the fallen"
They all nod and a sombre expression passes over all our faces as we think on what the bad outcome of this war is. I slam the gavel and we all stand up and head out of the church. I begin my search for Happy and find him sat on the Picnic table I left before church.
"It go okay" he asks as I walk into his arms
"Shit is moving forward but in a good way"
"No more lying"
I look into his face making sure he can see how serious I am "No more lying. I swear down on my unborn sibling that I will tell you everything"
"I can work with that"
I laugh as he pulls me roughly into his chest and slams his lips against mine; I return the demanding kiss, my hands once again tangling into his white shirt. We both pull out of the kiss and I lean my head on his shoulder, my eyes landing on his Reaper tatt and my name tattooed on his neck. I place a chaste kiss to the ink and Happy growls.
I hear bikes roll out and lift my head to see my guys heading out to do the new jobs I assigned them; they all nod as they leave and I return it. As the last bike leaves the lot I rest my head back on Happy's shoulder and play with his shirt, the two of us enjoying the simple action of just being in each other's arms.
I place another kiss to his tattoo and Happy again growls before pulling me away from his chest to look at my face, he smirks evilly before standing up. I watch as he stares at me for a few moments before reaching forward and grabbing my hips picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.
He walks towards the clubhouse and as we enter the doors I see Maverick stood near the doorway.
"I take it if anyone asks boss you're busy" he smirks
"She's busy until I decide otherwise" Happy growls still walking
"What he said" I call out to Maverick who just laughs
As Happy walks into my room and places me back on my feet before shutting the door and slamming me against it, I agree with my previous words. Yeah shit was moving forward and yes it was in a good way but we still had that large dark cloud hanging over our heads that is Hook.
Hopefully though, his name will be a thing of the past.
END NOTE – A NEW CHAPTER SEEING AS I HAVE SOME EXTENDED TIME OFF WORK. THIS CHAPTER IS FOR ALL OF YOU WHO THOUGHT CHAOS WAS BEING STUPID.
ANYWAY I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN FEEL IT BUT THE END IS NEARING SO AS I SAID IN THE LAST CHAP, IF YOU HAVE IDEAS. THROW THEM MY WAY AND I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
I DON'T REALLY LIKE THIS CHAPTER BUT REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK