She was deep in thought as she read her book. She was highlighting passages to review later the could be of help to Bucky with his memory, but more importantly breaking the control the word string brought over him. That was the top priority.
Bucky woke slowly and saw her reading next to him. He ached all over. The shock. He never forgot the aftermath of how it felt. "So you have the guts to do it after all." he said scooting himself up to sit resting against the headboard.
Ella turned her head quickly in surprise. She hadn't heard him stirring. "You left me no choice. I'm sorry." she said trying to calm her racing heart.
"Choice. Yeah." he said remembering his early conversation about choice with Tony.
"Are you ok?" she asked concerned as she put her book down and watched his slow careful movements.
"Completely fine." he said smiling. "Don't worry. I'm used to it."
"You shouldn't be and I'd be more worried if you made it out the door." she said. "Neither of us is going anywhere."
He looked at her surprised at her tone. He wasn't used to such a direct tone from her. "Really?"
"Bucky, we have a lot to discuss on top of the fact that you made a deal to let me help you. You think I'm going to let you walk away? It didn't work so well the first time and I'll be damned if I let you go out there after knowing there is more than just Kreutz to all of this." she said sternly. She omitted the fact that it would break her heart if he left. Her heart was her matter. She wasn't open to sharing it even if it was begging her to.
"So you're looking out for me." he said smirking.
She rolled her eyes. "I've kept you pretty safe so far."
He started to speak then stopped himself. He was about to counter her comment by saying he kept her pretty safe too but it was a lie. He almost killed her. Ella saw his eyes turn from a playful glint a deep sadness. "Yeah," he said looking up at her. "you have."
She wanted to tell him it was ok, but she couldn't. So she focused on what she could. That she would help him as much as she could. "So tomorrow we can get started?"
"Yeah, that would be good." he said.
"Good. Well, then we have a few ground rules we need to discuss." she said. "First, there is the doctor client relationship." she said looking at him to make sure he was paying attention. He was. It made her stammer as his blue eyes stared intently back at her. "Uhm, we, well." she stammered and the corners of his mouth began to curl seeing her struggle. She remembered their time at the hotel and her words to him as he beat her. She had to explain herself but in the moment she just felt embarrassed and had to just state it as she could so they could move forward. "In a nutshell," she snapped, "no more kisses on the cheek." she said feeling accomplished she got it out.
"Ok, got it, I promise to avoid your cheek." he said grinning at the insinuation he knew would redden her cheeks.
She sighed hiding her face in her hands. "Bucky." she said in resignation.
"Ella, I'm teasing. I'll get better first." he said.
"And no jealous ridiculousness because someone takes my hand to lead my down a hall, ok?" she said.
"Alright but I draw the line outside of hallways." he said again pushing her buttons.
"Maybe this won't work." she said eyeing him. "You know I still am wearing the trigger for your fail-safe and I believe the shock device is recharged."
"I just thought since you told me you loved me." he said smiling great big. He enjoyed teasing her but he did want to discuss her words, those words she has spoken to him. He needed to find out why she had said it. If there was anything behind it. He prayed so.
Ella knew her face was bright red. "That." she said as her stammering returned,"that is a heavy discussion and we have to meet soon with Tony, so we need to discuss that later?" she said getting up from her chair.
Bucky got up quickly to stop her, "Wait." he said. As he took a step standing his knees went weak. Ella grabbed him to steady him as he fell towards her.
"Woah." she said as she steadied him. He gripped her arms to keep his balance. They stood nearly eye to eye. "You better lie back down." she said realizing her voice sounded weak. She felt strange being so close to him.
"I'm fine. Better, actually." he said standing before her still holding her arms.
"Good." she said again almost in a whisper this time. She watched his eyes. They stared steadily at her. He briefly looked down at her lips then back to her eyes. "Maybe you should lie back down?" she said focusing to make her voice stronger. It was wavering as now she felt weak in the knees herself. He said nothing but moved even closer to her. Her mind froze. She needed space but she didn't want it. This could be bad, she thought, very bad. She kept eye contact as he brought his face closer. She hated herself in that moment. She was betraying herself. She had just given him the speech and now he was disobeying it. He was going to kiss her and she was going to let him? She was confused. She had to try to remove her mind from the situation, or maybe moreso, her heart. They both heard the door open. "Lay down." she said as the demanding tone reappeared.
"Ok, but remember, my plan was to avoid the cheek." he said sitting on the bed. Ella scowled at him as she returned to her chair by his bedside just as Steve appeared.
"Bucky, you ok?" he asked.
Bucky looked at Ella and then to Steve, "Never better."