Twenty Years Later- Bunbunmaru Spirit News archives
Youkai of Darkness reveals that she is traumatised for life!
Every now and then, a human will drift into Gensokyo by mysterious means, be it by the work of the Border Youkai, Yukari Yakumo, the Hakurei Shrine Maiden, Reimu Hakurei, or some other quirk of fate. The humans that enter Gensokyo tend to be powerless and will usually be eaten by the uncivilised youkai, the ones that think eating humans is not bullying to fellow sentient beings, but occasionally, they survive to live on in peace with the residents... before hitting on them, naturally.
Of course, I get hit on the most, but I don't like to brag. Anyhow, one of these uncivilised youkai is the Youkai of Darkness, Rumia... uh... I think her name is just 'Rumia', as far as I can remember. Anyway, while she seems to be on amicable terms with the likes of Reimu and Marisa, strong humans that have beaten her multiple times, she, once upon a time, would try to eat any humans that had just drifted into Gensokyo.
However, I was just traversing the border one fine day, when I found a lost human. Rumia soon appeared, as expected, however, instead of eating him, she simply ran away in fear. This behaviour was most confusing, so I decided to show the poor human the way to the Hakurei Border so he wouldn't die later, of course getting hit on in the process, and then followed Rumia's tracks to find her sitting in the foetal position against a tree.
Being a kind, loveable woman, I decided to comfort the poor savage in her time of need, and sat beside her to ask her a few questions... I also wrote down the conversation in interview form, but that doesn't mean I'm an amoral paparazzi! Here is how that went:
Aya: Hey... hey... what's wrong?
Rumia: I... I thought I could... I could... face my fears today... but...
Aya: What fears? I thought you liked to eat helpless outsiders because you're a bullying savage with very sharp teeth and no friends...
Rumia: (punches Aya in the face) SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!
Aya: Oh, look at that, my gums are bleeding...
Rumia: Go away! It's not important!
Aya: Well... it's just it's not like you at all to turn down human steak, rare...
Rumia: It's... it's not like I'm afraid of all humans, it's just outsiders. After... after...
Aya: I can understand you getting turned off by the taste of outsiders. Other savages tell me they taste a little smoky, and some of them are full of salt and fat...
Rumia: It's not the taste, you moron!
Aya: Wait... did... I just get called a moron by the Youkai of Darkness? Um... perhaps I need to rethink my life. I've got to go...
Rumia: No, no, stay! Okay... do you... do you promise not to tell anyone about this?
Aya: Well, I won't talk to anyone about this...
Rumia: Okay... it... it all happened years ago... when... when I... I tried to eat a human. I started with the arm, and then... and then...
Aya: What? What? This is all gold!
Rumia: ...this really bitter, horrible taste filled my mouth...
Aya: I knew it! The human tasted terrible, and it put you off outsiders for life!
Rumia: For the last time, it wasn't an issue with taste! Anyway, I stopped eating into his arm because of...
Aya: ...the taste!
Rumia: (sighs) ...yes, the taste. He then stopped looking in pain, and began to smile this horrible smile... and... and then...
Aya: HE REVEALED HE WAS A HOUSE YOUKAI!
Rumia: What?
Aya: What?
Rumia: Look, if you're not going to take this seriously, then...
Aya: No, no, I am. Go on.
Rumia: ...thanks. I... began to float without me wanting to, and glowing chains wrapped around me, holding me in place so that I couldn't move...
Aya: I see! So, he hit on you? Humans that are into people who look like little girls are weird...
Rumia: SHUT UP! HE MADE ME HIS FAMILIAR!
Aya: ...oh.
Rumia: It was horrible... he... made me do things...
Aya: ...so he did like little girls!
Rumia: NO! NO! NO!
Aya: Is that what you said when...
Rumia: (punches Aya again)
Aya: Ow... is... is that a tooth?
Rumia: He used me to attack my friends! He made me kill Daiyousei!
Aya: But Daiyousei's a fairy, she'd just come back anyway...
Rumia: That's not the point!
Aya: Oh yeah, the whole attacking your friends thing. Yeah, that's kinda evil.
Rumia: Kinda? He then took me into the outside world and used me to terrorise the humans... I mean... I... I like to eat them, but what he was doing was...
Aya: Wow, so, this human, this powerless human, totally dominated you and made you his weapon? That's actually pretty awesome!
Rumia: And... and then... I... I don't want to say the rest because... because...
Aya: Spoilers?
Rumia: Um... yeah, actually. Wait, I mean... it's... uh, too traumatic.
Aya: It's okay. One last thing... what was this guy's name?
Rumia: ...Corey.
Aya: Pfffff... gahahahahahaha! You had me going there! I honestly thought a human had traumatised you for life, but honestly, if you're gonna lie, at least make him have an intimidating name! Like Dark'ness Kitteneater McEvil, or something.
Rumia: (begins to tear up) But I'm telling the truth...
Aya: Um... Rumia... are you... are you okay? Have you got something in your eye, your laughing is starting to sound like crying...
Rumia: I... I... just leave me alone! (runs away from Aya, crying all the way)
In the end, I kinda think Rumia might have been telling the truth about the whole trauma, although... I wonder, how did Hatate and I miss this opportunity? I'm not so sure. I guess some things just... pass under our noses. We tengu have rather large noses, after all.
But still... we are the information centre of Gensokyo, what could have gone wrong? Perhaps that Rikako girl has been playing with her Retroactive Space-time Distortion Device again...
Article written by Aya Shameimaru
Present-day hindsight: Like, it is confusing, this case... how did we miss something as major as a youkai going missing from Gensokyo? That's... that's totally crazy! I think... I think it must have happened somewhere different to us, perhaps... whoa, just, like, hear me out... what if... there are infinite Gensokyos, and that Rumia came from a different one, and then came back into our Gensokyo, and this caused the old Rumia to disappear?
Like, it's quantum physics, my favourite form of Geography!