If You Could Only See

Chapter 20

Modern Day Tokyo: Approx. three years six months after the well closed.

Kouga stared up at the steps that led to the Higurashi shrine. He prayed that maybe their would be a gust of wind or something to carry her scent to him, just to prove that she was up there, waiting for him.

If he was wrong, and she wasn't up there, he would be in a whole mess of trouble. He might as well kiss any chance of finding her goodbye, because Inuyasha would have his ass handed to him on a silver platter once he found out where he'd been.

But he had to do this. He had come this far, he couldn't back down now, not if there was the slightest chance that she was here.

Stealing himself, he began to climb the stairs. He wished he could be in his demon form, then he could leap up the stairs in a single bound. But he couldn't do that with so many humans around, especially not at a shrine. He sniffed the air, trying to smell the humans at the top, but the wind was blowing the opposite way, blowing smells away from him. So instead he strained his ears, listening for her voice.

" – the giant spider hovered above the village, high in the sky! And chunks of miasma fell from Naraku's crumbling body. The hanyou swung his great sword at Naraku and his body began to collapse in on itself!"

It was her voice! No mistaking it!

Kouga was near the top, but ran the rest of the way up the stairs. He looked around quickly and spotted a mass of people under a giant tree. He could still hear her voice. She was telling the people the story of the Shikon, their story.

" – the priestess aimed her arrow at the shinning jewel, and fired! The arrow soared through the air, purifying the miasma around it as it went, and struck the jewel inside Naraku's body!

Kouga ran over to the crowd of people. He was going to burst through them to see her, finally see her! But when he reached the people, the wind changed and he caught her familiar scent.

There was…something off, about Kagome's smell. It was the same warm, indescribable scent he had become addicted to, but something else was interlaced in it. She smelled like…

" – but they jewel had other plans. It opened a portal, and sucked the miko into darkness. For three days, the priestess was alone in the darkness. The only thing with her was the jewel, and it was telling her to wish on it to send her back home, from the land she came from. But she didn't trust the jewel, she had seen first hand how the jewel twisted people's wishes, and was afraid that, if she did wish on the jewel, it would only end in misery for her. But she was scared, and she didn't want to be alone forever in the darkness. Her will almost gave out, but then, she heard the voice of the hanyou! He was coming for her!

The sound of his voice gave her the strength she needed to wait, and she could feel him, coming closer.

And then, there he was, right by her side; ready to protect her, like he had always done. And with her there with him, she knew how to escape the darkness. She turned to the jewel and made a wish, she wished for the jewel to disappear, forever!"

Kouga heard a crowd of children cheer, and some of the people around him clapped softly. But still he couldn't see her. He tried to get around the crowd, but she was surrounded. He had to get to her!

" – the darkness cleared, but when the miko could see the light again, she was back in her home land, and the hanyou was no where to be found. She tried to get back to her family, but she couldn't. She tried and tried, but no matter what, she couldn't get back to the people she loved. So she hoped and prayed to the kamis that her family was safe, and that maybe one day, she could be reunited with them once again."

At last, the crowd parted a bit, and Kouga looked through the small opening. There she was, sitting underneath the tree with a scar on its trunk. Tears were sparkling in her eyes as she finished the story. The children clapped and cheered, and she wiped the tears from her eyes.

Kouga stared at her. She looked like she was very sick. She looked pale and small, and she had lost weight since the last time he'd seen her. His heart broke at the sight of the miko who had once been filled with such life.

There was no mistaking the scent now; it was beginning to overpower her natural scent.

Kagome smelled like death.

"But that's not fair!" called one girl from the group of children on the ground. "The hanyou and the miko should have been together! Why did they have to be apart?"

Some children called out in agreement, and Kouga watched as Kagome looked to the scar on the tree, a sad smile painted on her face.

"No…it wasn't fair, was it? But the miko never forgot about him. She always held the time she spent with her family and treasured them in her heart."

She was still crying. And she was dying, slowly dying; yet she was able to sit here and talk about her past as though she had been but a stranger looking in.

Finally, after 500 years of waiting, she was right in front of him, but he couldn't make himself go to her. He couldn't understand why she was dying! She was still young for a human! She appeared no older than him, and yet…

"But the miko loved the hanyou, didn't she?" another girl asked.

Kagome's tears fell harder.

"Yes, she did. With all her heart."

Something felt empty inside of Kouga. She…she loved…Inuyasha? She preferred the half breed over the pure blooded demon? She would rather have that stupid fucking mutt than him?

But…hadn't she told him that before? Hadn't she always said it, even the first time they met?

He should have felt sad, but…he didn't, not at all, actually. It was like a deeper part of him had always known that Kagome wasn't meant for him.

And suddenly he knew why Kagome smelled like death. It was because she was dead inside. She and Inuyasha were mates…it was obvious now. She didn't know where he was or whether he was alive or not, and it was killing her inside.

He couldn't go to her now…she would ask questions about why he hadn't come for her, and he didn't think she'd be able to take the answers he had to give. Inuyasha had to come to her and explain to her himself, and he had to do it soon. If he didn't, she just might die of a broken heart.

Kouga backed away quietly. He raced down the steps and ran down the street. He needed to reason with Inuyasha, right away. It killed him to see Kagome like that.

He wondered again why he couldn't bring himself to be angry or sad that Kagome didn't love him. He should have wanted to tell her how Inuyasha tried to keep them all from finding her, making her suffer alone. He should have wanted to be there on the rebound, taking what Inuyasha what had been stupid enough to throw away. He should have wanted to finally make her his woman.

But all that mattered to him now was making sure Kagome was safe and happy. And if being with the damn mutt would make her happy, then he'd make sure she was with the damn mutt.

I hope no one is mad about how quickly he accepted that Kagome didn't love him. I mean, when I was reading the manga and such, I got the impression that half the reason why Kouga chased after Kagome was because it pissed Inuyasha off. But I digress.

I love reading your reviews! I love you all so much!

PS lil couz says hi.

~Lions Heart 獅子の心 (ROAR! ^-^)