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"The first event of the day is called 'Hidden'! Teams, please enter a single member to participate!"

"Hidden..." Naruto looked to the sky thoughtfully. "Probably stealth."

Mira looked around Team B. "Who should go up? Laxus and I are too flashy with our powers, so probably not us."

"I'd rather do a battle," Gajeel said honestly.

Naruto took a step forward. "I'll do it. It's good to assert our dominance in the beginning."

"Good luck!" Mira said with a smile.

Naruto turned to look at her suggestively. "I mean, I'd be very lucky with a good luck kiss... care to help me out?"

Mira still had a smile as she patted Gajeel on the shoulder. "Yeah Gajeel! Help Naruto out!"

Naruto only walked away dejectedly.

"We are about to begin! But exactly what kind of competition is 'Hidden'? Yajima, is there a player we should pay more specific attention to?"

"Rufus of Sabertooth is the fan favorite to win, but I am also keeping an eye out on Gray."

"Not Naruto?"

"Naruto is a special case, he can do anything if he is motivated, but his laziness is just as high as his power. If he feels like throwing the match he will, for no reason other than he wants to. He is a wildcard! The entire outcome can be determined by whoever figures out what game he is playing!"

"Very insightful! How about you, Jenny?"

"Of course, our Eve. He's strong!"

Mato, the small mascot of the games who wears a pumpkin on his head, danced around.

"It's been a while," Naruto said to him.

"Oh?" Mato's painted face stared at him. "Do you know who I am?"

"Of course, though I will not oust you..." his voice grew quieter, "it is treason, after all."

The two shared a laugh together.

They had met years ago, during the trial of Jellal Fernandes. Naruto was notorious for apparently flicking the bird to the king, which he denies with all his being, and the 'legendary' figure Naruto was had to keep contact with the governing head.

"Excuse me..." the rather greasy voice of Nullpudding rung, "but I do not know what the game of 'Hidden' entails... plus having two Fairies is an unfair advantage..."

Naruto and Gray both looked at him.

"Well it is an amazing feat that two made it through!" Mato told him back.

"Yeah, it's fine with me," Rufus agreed. "My memory is singing. Two doesn't exactly mean an advantage, it all depends on the skills the player have."

Naruto smirked. "And I'm not giving Gray an advantage; I'll strangle him until he agrees to date Juvia."

"Eh?" Gray looked at him flabbergasted. "What do you mean!?"

"She gave me her spot on Team B, I need to repay the favor."

"Time for the game!" Mato pointed to the sky and ended all banter. "OPEN!"

The ground around them started to glow with a blue light, and out of the light shapes started to be formed. The entire audience watched, awestruck, as buildings started to rise from nowhere, the authenticity spot on.

Naruto nodded in approval. "You guys are really going all out. How much many Lacrima are you using to power this?"

He vanished before he could get an answer.

"The rules of 'Hidden' are simple. Each person will hide and also seek! You must find each other in this town and use any type of attack to hit them, the person who hits someone gets a point! And the person hit loses a point! But there's more!"

In a glow of light the town was suddenly filled with hundreds of copies each of the participants.

"As you can see everyone has a copy! If you attack a copy, accident or not, then you lose a point! Now vanish! And truly become 'Hidden!"

The loud sound of a gong being hit rang throughout the area. The game had officially begun.

Naruto looked at a copy of him with a smirk.

"So many good looking redheads here, the ladies must love it." He sobered up from his narcissism and looked around. "You know, since we have the cloaks and all... I'll go Akatsuki themed powers for this competition."

He took a step forwards, before his body suddenly morphed into a flock of crows, the flock flying into the sky.

The key to this was painfully simple...

Patience, not being intuitive or discerning, but being inanimate, not moving and simply waiting for the prey to come to you.

The copies were all still. Yes, they moved a little, but they could not move large distances, they could only stay on one street. It was simple to look around and notice the ones who could actually cross into a different areas of the village.

Of course, Naruto could easily stand still and wait for a person to walk by him, but where was the fun in that?

He at least needed to make this entertaining for the audience, it was only day one, a few points off wouldn't hurt them in the slightest.

So there he was, walking completely horizontally on a wall of a building; throwing the word 'incognito' out the window.

"Oohhh...Naruto..."

Naruto looked to the street to notice Nullpudding standing there.

"Yo," Naruto greeted with a wave. "You really messed Gray up, you know?"

Nullpudding, in the first two minutes of the match, immediately went for Gray and hit him twice, sending him deep into last place.

"Yes I did," Nullpudding said with a large smirk, satisfied with himself.

"So... you are trying to really fuck Fairy Tail up, aren't you?" Naruto waited a little less then a second before speaking again, "Eh, no need to answer, since I already know Raven Tail doesn't like us."

He jumped off the building before Nullpudding could hit him, the small purple man had lunged at him.

"Bad idea!" Naruto called from a few meters away from him. "I was going to give you the option to walk free, but you just had to attack."

"Come here!" Nullpudding lunged...

And then suddenly froze.

Naruto chuckled darkly as his killing intent stopped the mage in his tracks.

"You see, Nullpudding, you guys at Raven Tail are not very... how should I say it?" Naruto thought for a few moments. "...concealed. You think you are, but the harsh reality is that you're not."

Naruto approached the paralyzed mage, taking slow steps and only making Nullpudding experience more fear.

"You think you can cheat and not get caught, which you somewhat did, hurting Wendy and not having the government finding out. But you failed, because I know exactly what you did, and I am MUCH more worse than the government could ever be."

Naruto stopped a few feet away.

"I'm sending a message to Raven Tail. Do not fuck with my family, you hear me Ivan!?" Naruto glared at the armored figure. "And I don't mean the one in the stands! You don't hurt my sister and get away with it! And after attacking my family, you still want more!? Well then..."

Naruto rose his arm and a glow started to emit from it.

"Come and get it."

He fired a blast of energy.

Nullpudding collapsed to the ground.

But he wasn't warped away to another area to restart, he laid there, blood pooling around his body, as medics rushed the field.

"He's not dead." Naruto told the group of healers. "I hit him through the throat and into the upper spine. He won't walk, move his body, or maybe even talk ever again. That's what dirty cheaters get, he won't ever break the rules anymore. And he's not even the one who did it, the one who really did it... he'll be in a much worse condition than his friend here."

"In a terrifying and brutal turn of events... Naruto has accused Raven Tail of cheating! And officially taken one of their members out of the tournament! Raven Tail, you can use your reserve member to fill in the gap Naruto has formed!"

Naruto looked at Raven Tail tauntingly, loving the looks on their faces.

"You're move, phonies. I mean, how blatant of a copy can you get with 'Raven Tail'? I know Ivan is incredibly stupid, but really? 'Fairy Tail' doesn't even make sense and you make an even more confusing name? At least we have the strength to make our name cool; I actually have a pet raven and she's ashamed of what your doing to her species' reputation."

He gave them one last wink before turning around and walking into the crowd, vanishing among his many copies.

"Night of the Falling Stars!" Rufus called from on top of a building, a golden energy shot out of his outstretched hands and into the town, hitting all of the real participants.

Well... not all of them.

"That's interesting," Naruto said from a rooftop next to him. "What exactly is your magic? I don't think I've seen it before, I'd probably remember something like this."

"You... you're not being hit by me Memory Make..."

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "Memory Make? I've seen it before, but not to this degree. You got some skill to you, Rufus-san." Naruto slapped his forehead. "Damn honorifics... I keep using them again..."

"How?" Rufus asked him. "How are you immune to my Memory Make? I'm sure I could remember your heat, heartbeat, breathing..."

Naruto smirked. "It's obvious. It's standard ninja training to learn to manipulate your heartbeat, or your heat, breathing is just too easy!"

Rufus was awestruck. "But... but your magic..."

"I have a few 'magic' that I can use. I have mine, my other reserve, my other other reserve, and some completely different reserves that I can also use. I was trained to be a completely different person at will, your petty detection won't work against me."

Finally his ANBU training was finally becoming useful. When he actually joined the shadowy organization there wasn't much shadows in it anymore; there was just not enough conflict after the war to need a black ops division.

"So..." Rufus had finally completely regained his composure. "I see I need more... conventional methods to beat you."

Naruto ignored him as he looked at Team Sabertooth.

"You know, I didn't get a very good first impression of Fruity and Goth-boy, your Dragon Slayers, last night. They seemed like assholes to me, bragging about killing dragons and all. Dragon Slayers were never even taught to kill dragons anyways... why would they want to teach someone to kill them?"

"What are you rambling about?"

Naruto sighed. "Nothing... just old people stuff..."

"Old people?"

"I'm twenty seven!" Naruto cried out loud. "I'm almost thirty! I've been twenty for almost four hundred years and now I'm older than my dad! Oh god... what if I get a grey hair!? It's gonna happen soon, isn't it?"

Rufus approached slowly. "I don't understand half of what you're talking about, but I'm pretty sure that you don't usually get grey hair at twenty seven, especially a person as fit as you are."

"You know, having most of the people close to you be frozen in time for seven years really sucks. For both me and Je- Mystogan. I mean the girls we want are both seven years younger than us now, Mystogan will be a mummy from stress by the time the both of them finally admit their relationship to the public."

Rufus stood behind him. "You do know we are still in a competition?"

Naruto nodded. "I know, but I already crippled a man, and I'm really relaxed at the moment. I can live with one point; we still have the entire competition ahead of us to win."

"I... really don't want to attack you, for my safety."

"It doesn't matter, since I'm only listening to the memory of where your voice was. You're actually right below me at the moment."

The form of Rufus disappeared from behind him. "You understand my magic enough to realize that?"

"I could sense you," Naruto answered. "I have enough mental control to discern which memory is fake and which is not."

"That takes years of difficult meditation."

Naruto shrugged. "I wouldn't call it difficult, I just enter and use my mindscape a lot. I'm sure you know what that is, with your magic centering around the mind."

"I'm going to make a wise decision and... not attack you." The voice behind him started to waver.

"Smart of you," Naruto commented. "Because I really would've smashed you-"

Naruto was smashed by an ice hammer.

"Oh my! Gray hit Naruto during the middle of a conversation! Rude, but this is the Grand Magic Games!"

Gray smirked from the rooftop he knocked Naruto off, watching in satisfaction as his point increased.

"That's what you get, asshole!"

He was slapped in the face, and sent flying.

Naruto glared at him. "Jerk."

"Here are the results! In first place is Sabertooth with nine points! Lamia Scale has five! Blue Pegasus and Quatro Cerberus has four! Mermaid heel has two! Raven Tail has one! And for Fairy Tail, Team B has one and Team A has none!"

"Though Team B was do to lack of effort," Jenny added dryly. "You were really right about Naruto's laziness, Yajima."

"Naruto..." Laxus growled as Naruto entered Team B's viewing area.

Naruto lazily waved. "Hi Laxus!"

Gajeel glared. "That performance made me contemplate gauging my eyes out... all you did was sit there!"

Naruto sat down heavily next to Mirajane. "Hey! I tried my best out there! I wanted them to come to me..."

"Nobody with any sliver of intelligence would voluntarily attack you," Jellal said with a flat tone.

"Really?" Naruto leaned his head into Mira's bare shoulder. "Well I tried so hard... my energy is depleting..."

Mira just smiled as always. "Well rest then," she told him gently. "Then you can take your punishment when you wake up..."

Naruto pretended to sleep, and would probably keep the act up for the rest of eternity to avoid Mira's wrath.

"Naruto... Naruto get up..."

"Eh?" Naruto looked up to see Mira shaking him. He glanced at the clock, the thirty minutes to reset the field and for the sponsors to vote had already past.

"The fight is about to start, Lucy against Flare Corona of Raven Tail."

He rose an eyebrow and walked over to the edge of the viewing platform where he could see the field.

"Lucy has that look in her eyes," he commented. "And true power comes from passion. Lucy will win, simply because she refuses to lose."

"I don't think it'll be that easy."

Naruto looked at Raven Tail.

"Who said anything about easy?"

"Alright! This is a one on one battle, so no outside help at all! You have thirty minutes to win before it is declared a draw! Get ready... begin!"

"What is wrong with that Flare chick?" Naruto asked out loud. "She looks really... sickly."

Jellal looked at her. "I'm not sure... but she really suits the whole 'Raven Tail' feel that Ivan has put on."

"Ivan..." Naruto growled at the thought. "Thank god you don't take after that dirty thief, Laxus, because he's the type of person who gets to the top of my shit list very quickly..."

"What do you mean by thief?"

Naruto didn't even look at Laxus. "He wants something he can't have, or even understand."

"There is Taurus! One of the Twelve Celestial Gates!"

"You know," Naruto started as he watched Lucy summon Scorpio also, "this reminds me of a certain game, with the double battles and all... Scorpio is using sand attack..."

Laxus snorted. "Of course you would be into that stuff."

"Why wouldn't I? I spent seven years stuck with Macao. And trust me, he didn't get exciting over your absence."

"And a third gate! Cancer just gave Flare a hair cut!"

Naruto winced. "Oh god... the hair Lucy just ruined..." He instinctively went to touch his own hair, being rather proud of the red locks.

Mira also looked troubled by the spectacle. "That must be a nightmare for her..."

"And Flare got Lucy's legs! Can the Fairy Tail female stand up and continue?"

"That's not even red hair," Naruto stated, somewhat upset. "She's acting all proud about it when she has an ugly shade of red. Erza and I have the most beautiful and perfect shade of red there is, Uzumaki red."

"What happened to you over the seven years?" Gajeel asked. "Because you're a right prick now."

Naruto looked down, ashamed. "Midlife crisis... I'm twenty seven..."

"I'm twenty seven," Jellal said flatly.

"So? You already ha-" Naruto froze, and then a cold fury started to come off him.

"Naruto?"

The redhead's fists clenched. "I'm going to slowly, very slowly... kill all of them."

He vanished in a flash of red.

Flare gasped.

"Oh hi there!" Naruto called from the Fairy Tail non participant section, standing behind Asuka holding a lock of Flare's hair.

Bisca quickly ran and picked her child up.

Naruto glared at Flare, promising death.

Before any camera could get to him, he let go.

Raven Tail could easily accuse him of cheating, despite the fact Flare was the one who tried to cheat first. None of the cameras were on them, and they could easily fake a 'he grabbed and stretched her hair to assist Lucy' to get him banned, It was a stupid and completely improbable, but the legal system needed solid evidence, and a picture of him holding flares hair could easily throw him out of the competition.

And he needed to stay in, since he was going to kill the next one he faced.

"Naru-chan!" Asuka called to him. "Hi!"

Naruto smiled gently. "Don't call me that, Asuka-chan! I do that to you, not you to me! And I'm surprised you remember me, you couldn't even walk when I last saw you!"

She just smiled.

Alzack shared a glance with him, conveying all that was needed.

"Did she try to attack Asuka?" Laxus asked quietly when he flashed back.

"They did, she knows Lucy is too much to handle."

"Are they safe over there?"

Naruto nodded. "I placed a seal on their platform, nothing with any malicious attempt will enter the stand."

"Lucy!" Naruto called out to the field.

Lucy, and also Flare, turned.

"She's not going to try that again, if she values her life. So do not hold back! Make her suffer!"

Lucy turned back to the battle, looking resolute.

Naruto sighed quietly. "Man, I went from lazy to active in a few minutes... I guess I can't jeopardize the team with my laziness until Raven Tail is out."

Gajeel looked at him. "Wait. Did you just admit to-"

"Of course not, I have no idea what you're saying."

"Oh? Lucy, both of them, are glowing! What spell is this?"

Naruto looked at Raven Tail flatly, where the armored man (definitely NOT Ivan in any way) was staring back.

Naruto only smirked as Lucy's attack annihilated Flare. And how Ivan turned to the large blue man and shook him, telling him to do something.

"Simple amazing! Unbelievable! Lucy is the winner! She is the winner!"

Ivan and the blue thing, Obra, both looked at him.

"Not gonna work," Naruto muttered quietly, but they could easily understand him from across the stadium.

"Excuse me?" Mira asked.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"Raven Tail has lost. Fairy Tail is the winner! Team A has catapulted from last place with zero to first with ten! Congratulations Lucy, you battled fantastically!"

"Wait... that guys name is Ren Akatsuki! He stole our name!"

Mira looked between him and the field. "I mean, this name came yesterday, and he's around our age..."

"Akatsuki, the organization I took the name from, is over four hundred years old. It came way before he was even a thought in his parents mind, before his grandparents mind."

He ignored the looks he got and fell face first into the couch they had.

"I love this thing. Team A doesn't even have one, you know. I don't know why they gave us a couch, but I'm not complaining."

Gajeel glared. "We're in last place because of you being lazy. We shouldn't have a couch to enable your lack of activity."

"Don't take it away!" Naruto cried dramatically, his voice still muffled by the cushions. "Besides, I'm into it now, just put me against Raven Tail or someone strong like Erza or Sabertooth and I'm ready to go, and win."

"Ren wins!"

A sound came from the couch, which somewhat sounded like a snore.

"Are you actually sleeping?"

"No," the muffled answer.

"Just don't drool on the cushions!" Mira said with a smile. "You were drooling on my shoulder, but I didn't have the heart to move you!"

"I only drool when I'm really comfortable," Naruto explained, still face down. "Point and case, you are really comfortable to sleep with Mira-chan. We should do it more often."

"Oi," Laxus began before another overly sexual flirt battle could start, "a Sabertooth member is about to fight."

"Which one?"

"The big one."

Naruto didn't even move. "No, he's too generic for my liking. The stereotypical pure power kind of guy. Watch, he'll blow that crying guy away."

"Orga's black lightening completely fried his opponent! He wins!"

"You should have saw it, Naruto," Mira told him. "Black lighting is not something you see everyday!"

"I can use black lightening."

Call it hero's worship, but he got the tattoo which privileged him to use the sacred Kumo technique after the war. It was really cool, and really powerful, but lightning was never really his thing.

"The final fight! Mystogan of Team B versus Jura of Lamia Scale!"

Naruto hopped onto his feet. "Oh yes! I want to watch this!"

Mira gave Jellal a smile. "Good luck."

Naruto nodded in agreement. "Good luck Jellal, your girlfriend is watching!"

"She's not my girlfriend," he argued.

"Then you guys take the term 'friends with benefits' to a whole new leve- he's gone."

"Even among his guild of Fairy Tail, only a few know of his face! One of the three members of the dangerous 'Three Amigos'! The mysterious mage Mystogan!"

People didn't seem very into Mystogan, until the mention of his team came out. The, in honest terms, pretty dumb name of the team was made fearsome by its members. Naruto, Laxus, and Mystogan was a team to be taken with complete seriousness, in deep contrast with their name.

"You think he'll win?"

Naruto looked at Gajeel with a smirk. "I think he will. We trained together really hard after I broke him out of prison, also his fighting style have my seals implemented into it, I restocked him with some nasty stuff this morning."

They completely ignored the second part. "You broke him out of prison?"

"No. You're hallucinating in the sun."

"So he's copying Mystogan's magic." Laxus sounded impressed with the feat.

"It's a bit more in depth," Naruto told him. "We needed S-ranked mages after you guys vanished, so I recruited Jellal to take the mantel of 'Mystogan' up every once in a while. So he's been practicing being... himself, technically."

"By recruit, do you mean breaking him out of jail?"

"I didn't do it, I just found him, a simple coincidence."

"Oh my! Mystogan reflected Jura's attack, but Jura sent it back!"

Jellal flipped in the air after being hit. He straightened himself midair and rose his hand, a symbol started to shine on it.

"Amaterasu!"

'Really?" Laxus shook his head. "You gave him one of your most overkill techniques? The fire that never goes out..."

Naruto shrugged. "Since it never goes out, he can just reseal it instead of me giving him more. He's been using the same fire for years."

"And... he broke cover." Laxus shook his head as Jellal glowed gold. "He's only showing off because Erza's here, we all know it. I'd rather he take a loss than getting us eliminated for harboring a criminal..."

"Oh don't worry," Naruto told him. "I have a plan for if the government comes after him, it's an interesting one."

"Mystogan said 'Cerma', and the sky is darkening! What kind of magic is this!?"

"Cerma... wow Jellal, there goes your cover completely."

"What's Cerma?" Mira asked.

"A Jellal only technique that will mess Jura up if he doesn't get the hell away," Naruto answered as he looked at his friend. "Ultear is not going to like this."

Suddenly, right before Jellal could cast his ultimate spell, he suddenly fell forward.

He let out a pained moan as he clutched his mouth.

"No..." Naruto's eyes widened in astonishment and glee. "Ultear... you're fucking amazing!"

"What? What is happening!? Mystogan is in agony!"

Naruto suddenly lost his balance he was laughing so hard..

"Oh my god! Holy shit! I can't breath!"

"Oh? Does Naruto know what is happening?"

Naruto could imagine Ultear torturing poor Meredy to stop Jellal. And when Meredy was in the moment she always called Ultear 'Ur', her mother's name, which would only make Ultear angrier.

Sensory Link Magic was officially the greatest thing ever.

Jellal suddenly started to roll on the floor laughing, much like Naruto was also.

"J-j- Mystogan! You deserve it Mystogan, and you know it!"

"He's laughing! What is happening to the stoic Mystogan?"

Jellal froze completely.

Naruto's laughter increased at the look in his eyes. Ultear and Meredy were really close, and Meredy would let Ultear do whatever she wanted...

...And whatever Ultear just did traumatized Jellal.

Naruto clutched his sides as Jellal collapsed, mentally defeated.

"M-M-Mystogan is down!? He's down!"

"Wow!" Naruto wiped tears from his eyes. "Mystogan got completely fucked! And it was amazing!"

"Amazing!?" Gajeel roared in fury. "We have a single point! Fucking Sabertooth has nineteen and we have one! ONE!"

"So!? I'm gonna tease him on this for the rest of eternity! That was the greatest moment of my life, watching that!"

"Is... is Mystogan down? I guess he is! By a unknown turn of events Mystogan is down! Jura is the winner! What do you have to say about that, Yajima?"

"I'm... I'm awestruck. I don't even think Mystogan fully understands what happened.

"But someone does," Jenny added in.

"Yes, maybe it was Naruto messing with his teammate? I didn't see him cast any spells though, all he did was laugh..."

"Well he really laughed, so he wasn't upset at any foul play..."

Naruto snapped his fingers and Jellal appeared next to him in a flash of red.

"I... I'm gonna puke..." Jellal said weakly from the ground.

Naruto was still giggling. "J-Jellal! That was absolutely beautiful! And I don't mean your fighting! I need to pay Ultear something for doing that... I'll give her Zeref's phone number or something! She deserves it!"

Of course, he had to buy Zeref a phone if he decided to do that.

Jella groaned, "She... she... Meredy let her... let her do something like that to her?"

"Well she does worship Ultear like she's the god who created the universe, so I'm sure Ultear can do whatever she wanted, which she did."

Jellal slowly crawled onto the couch and laid on it unmoving.

He was scarred.

Never again.

He was going to seclude himself in the darkest corner of the world and never leave ever.

Ultear could run the guild by herself. He wanted nothing to do with the crazy bitch ever again.

"Are you crying, Jellal?"

"Shut up Naruto."

"Do you want Erza to make it better?"

"Stop..."

"I was sure Erza had already done something like that to yo-"

"Leave me alone!"

"You're on my couch, I can't. Besides, I think I'm the one who has to carry you back to the hotel."

"Day one of the Grand Magic Games are officially over!"

"Day one was great!" Naruto said ecstatically. "I came back into the world, had a badass reveal infront of a massive crowd, kicked complete ass in Hidden, showed Raven Tail not to mess with us, slept with Mira, showed Raven not to mess with us again, and got to laugh my ass off while watching Jellal get violated. Definitely the best day I had in the last two hundred years, by far."

"You didn't sleep with me."

"Technically I did, just not the way you wanted me to."

"After such an eventful day for you, we are in LAST FUCKING PLACE!" Gajeel yelled angrily. "LAST PLACE! Lucy was the one to surpass us. LUCY!"

Jellal vanished in a red flash, Naruto had teleported him back to his hotel bed.

"Eh," Naruto shrugged. "You're too serious. This is a game, after all. It's not like I really care if people call me weak. I don't like it, but it only makes it more satisfying when I beat the crap out of someone who says they're stronger than me."

"This is interesting, Mira, me sitting next to you instead of infront of you."

Mirajane experimentally sloshed her cup around. "I'm the one who serves the drinks, not the one who drinks the drink. I don't think I can handle the amount you have."

Naruto downed the bottle (a regular cup was not enough) and wiped his mouth. "I don't mind if you don't drink at all, you're a pleasure to talk with no matter how you act."

"And so are you," Mira said with a roll of her eyes.

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Of course not, Naru-chan."

Naruto spat his drink onto the floor.

"W-what the hell!? What did you call me?" There was NO way she just called him that.

Mira (curse her) looked as innocent as always, she merely tilted her head in subtle confusion.

"Well you call me Mira, and you say 'chan' at the end of my name, so I decided to do the same to you." She made herself look delightfully cute as she spoke, which only made her look even more right.

"It's not like that!" he yelled back.

"Why not?" she asked, almost tauntingly. "You say it at the end of Wendy or Erza, even Asuka."

"It means... like... you're killing me Mira." Naruto sighed deeply. "I use it since you're all so cute, well I find you a different kind of cute, if you know what I mean." His tone became suggestive at the end, to at least attempt to climb out of whatever Mira just dropped him in.

"Well I find you cute like them too! So it's perfect!" Mirajane had an all too sweet smile at the end.

He had no chance, there was no way he could win.

"Bartender," Naruto began defeated, "I need more drinks... a lot more drinks..."

The bartender, however, was staring at something with absolute fear.

"A... a f-floating cup... what is happening!?"

Naruto looked to his side, where Mavis was deciding whether or not to drink, and shrugged.

"It's nothing bartender, just one of us who you can't see." He knew that his reply didn't really help in any way, but it wasn't his job to explain exactly what was the deal with Mavis.

"Should I drink it?" Mavis asked. "I'm not sure how it feels..."

"Honestly Mavis, after training you and giving you your first dose of alcohol, which you don't remember, I'd say do it. Because your absolutely terrible with your drinks, which I know isn't completely your fault." Naruto thought for a moment. "Actually it is your fault for being eternally a child."

Mavis glared at him grumpily and took a sip of her drink. She suddenly started to sway dizzily before collapsing right into the hammered Gray.

"Oi," Gray started, downing yet another drink, "get off of me... you zombie..."

"I don't think Gray is really coherent," Mira told Naruto. "He's really been taking the drinks."

"He did get last place, after all. I don't blame him."

"Speaking of Team A..." Mira looked around the pub. "Where's Erza? I don't see her?"

Naruto smirked. "She's reconciling Jellal." He suddenly shivered. "I wanted them to be happy, not like fucking rabbits. Literally, fucking rabbits."

"It's okay! I was actually surprised they saved it so long, the looks they shared across the stadium..."

Naruto sighed. "I created two monst- oh!" His eyes widened in glee. "A drinking contest! With one of my favorite drinkers!"

Mira watched as he scampered across the room to where Cana and another man sat.

"Bacchus! Hey you ugly drunk! What are you doing here?"

The man, apparently named Bacchus, smirked at the sight of Naruto.

"I saw you today. It's been years since we last had a drink together, and I figured I find you to fix that."

Naruto looked at Cana. "And you saw Cana here and wanted some."

A chuckle. "Maybe... maybe..."

"Hey!" Cana yelled, a little drunk, "You said we're gonna have a contest! So either join or leave, Naruto!"

Naruto sat down and licked his lips.

"Why would I ever leave a drinking contest? Bring it on!"

AN: Sorry for the wait. Life has been really busy lately and I've been running around like crazy, hopefully things will calm down soon.