This chapter has been planned and written in my head from the start. I think if this were a T.V. drama this would be the bit where Phyllis wins her award!

I hope you get as much from reading it as I did writing it – it was kinda therapeutic.

Chapter 21

Saturday – a week until Anna's party

Elsie leant back in her chair watching as both Charles and Anna helped themselves to a third helping of Masala.

"It would be rude not to," Anna laughed as Charles spooned it into her dish.

"I don't know how you can possibly fit anymore in," Elsie smiled, dropping her napkin to the table.

"You can ask that question of your daughter dear, she's tiny, but not me."

"You do realise I made that lemon sorbet, just as you requested."

"And we'll eat it," Anna said, dipping another samosa into her sauce. "This is so good though mum, I feel like I haven't had proper food for an age."

"You see, you should be flattered," Charles said before swallowing another mouthful.

"I am, I'll go get some more wine. You are getting a taxi home though, aren't you?"

"Yes, but I may need to borrow some money for it."

"Obviously," she said rolling her eyes.

When she returned from the kitchen, a bottle of chilled white wine in her hand, she stopped by the door and watched as Charles and Anna chatted and laughed. They were getting on so well, so easy now and natural. It did something to her stomach and she had to pause for a moment. One hand on her chest.

How had things become so easy? She used to be so afraid that at any moment it might just be snatched away from her that she'd recoiled from it, tried to keep it at bay, and now, finally, that internal freeze was rapidly thawing and she felt an entirely new sensation taking over.

As she watched the two of them together it was so clear, so simple to admit – absolute and complete love.

"Where's the wine Els?" Charles called and she shook herself from her moment of reverie and went in to join them.

Charles studied the cards in his hand again, then leant back in his chair, flicking a glance towards the other two. Elsie was clearly holding a rubbish hand – the occasional nit-pick of teeth against lower lip gave her away – but Anna was harder to read, she kept her gaze neutral, she was a good Poker player actually.

"So, next Saturday," he said, "What kind of thing is it – formal, casual?"

"Formal. We thought it such a shame that we just kind of finish our course and that's it, we don't do anything until graduation and that's months away. So, why not organise something special? Professors will be there, parents you know. So, dress up. Opportunity for a new dress mum."

"Ah, but I already have one."

"So organised." Anna preened.

"I am, it's blue, well kind of blue, and long and fancy."

"Mine's short and red and puffy!" Anna laughed.

"Good lord, I don't have a dress, I feel left out!"

Elsie reached over and tapped the back of his hand with hers, "Never mind dear, we'll get you a nice tie."

She shuffled her cards again, throwing a few chips into the middle. "I'm going to fold."

Charles smirked, he knew it.

"Come on then Anna, what's it going to be?"

"I'm going to match you, and raise you." She said confidently throwing her chips in.

"You do realise she actually has no money." Elsie said, sipping her wine.

"But I'm going to win." Anna proclaimed, she glanced at her phone as it bleeped and her hand hovered over it but she refrained from responding, figuring Charles wasn't the type to react to such acts favourably.

"And have you started looking for a part time job for the summer?" Elsie asked.

Anna rolled her eyes, "Of course. I'm going to be going into Mercer three times a week as a volunteer, you know I did that last summer and it can't help."

"I think that's a good idea, but it doesn't mean they're just going to offer you a job."

"I know that mum, I'm not stupid."

"I didn't say that, I just meant that you need to think further afield."

"I am, but I can't really apply until I have my results, my credentials. I just need something part time to get some money together over the summer."

Charles watched the exchange with reserved interest. He threw his chips into the middle and put his cards down, "There…"

Anna grinned, laying her cards out one by one. "I do believe I win."

Charles chuckled, "Yes, I do believe you do."

"Yay!" Anna chair danced as she scraped the pile of chips to her.

"You know I'm looking for someone to work in the shop." Charles finally said, tentatively.

"You don't have to do that," Elsie said.

"No, I mean, I was looking for a teenager really, but if you want a job and you wouldn't think it boring or degrading to work here with me."

"That would be great. Really?"

"Really. I need someone Fridays and Saturdays mostly, that's my busy time and I'd rather like to start taking the odd Saturday off." He said glancing towards Elsie. "But I was going to offer three days a week initially."

"Well, I'm sure we could work something out. Thanks very much Charles, that's great."

"You're welcome. When are you back up here full time?"

"Two weeks, or a week and half, I'm there obviously next weekend but then we move out the following Wednesday so I guess I'll get the train back…" She said eyeing her mum.

"I suppose that means you'd like my car to move your stuff."

"It would help."

"We could come down in two cars next weekend, if Charles doesn't mind my borrowing his for work."

"Not at all. If it helps." He shrugged, refilling their glasses.

"Thank you." Anna was gleeful.

"You're like a child."

"You love it."

"And what are you going to do with the spare tickets for this party? Give them to another student for their family?"

"Sorry?"

"Your father and Sarah's ticket – if they aren't coming."

"Well, he hasn't actually turned it down."

Charles picked up their cards, reshuffling them, back and forth, as he listened and observed.

"Oh. I thought you said they weren't coming."

Anna squirmed a little, "If he comes he'll be alone. He and Sarah…well, last time I spoke to him they'd separated."

Elsie stiffened slightly.

"I mean who knows what's going on now, you know what he's like. They could be back together."

"She didn't want to worry you," Charles said gently.

"You mean you knew. How come you both knew and I didn't?"

"Well," Anna reached for her glass, needing a drink. "It had only just happened and it was on my mind when I asked Charles to come, the night we played Monopoly."

"That's ages ago."

Anna nodded.

Elsie slumped back in her chair, her arms folded across her chest. "You should have told me?"

"Why does it matter?" Charles asked gently, putting the stack of cards down in the middle of the table.

"It just…" she looked up at him, a frown on her face. "It just does."

"Oh." He tapped the table with his hands before pushing his chair back and standing up, "I'll go make some coffee."

She rolled her eyes as he went, tutting at herself, and when she looked across the table at her daughter Anna was scowling in return.

"Don't give me that look."

"Well then don't go all funny when we talk about Dad. Jeez mum, it doesn't matter if he's there or not because you finally put an end to his games. He's stopped calling hasn't he, and coming round?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"So, don't upset him," she jerked her chin towards the kitchen, "by being all weird over it. You love Charles now, don't you?"

She glanced at the table, fiddled with her discarded napkin that lay upon it. "I … I haven't said that to him…yet…"

"Why not?"

Elsie shrugged. "It's complicated."

"Well, un-complicate it. Are we having this sorbet?"

Elsie pushed her chair back, "I'll go get it."

"Okay, if you don't mind I'm just gonna call my friend back."

"I don't."

She found Charles leaning against the kitchen counter watching the coffee drip bit by bit into the pot. Moving behind him, she slid her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his back.

"Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for," he said rubbing her hand.

"I just don't want him there and ruining it, I want to enjoy being proud of Anna and do it with you beside me, not worrying where he is."

He wondered if there were more to it but he closed his eyes and pushed the thought away.

She turned her head, kissed his back. "Anna wants her sorbet."

"Well, I suppose I could force some down. Don't want to disappoint you." He twisted his head to look at her.

"I'm sure." She said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Wednesday – three days until Anna's party

Elsie felt like she'd been stomping around from the lounge to the kitchen - picking things up, moving things, making dinner, washing dishes, clearing the counter, emptying the rubbish - since the moment she'd come in from work.

So when Charles appeared fresh from the shower whistling and getting fruit and wine out of the fridge she wasn't best pleased.

"What?" He asked, popping a grape into his mouth.

"I've just cleaned that side."

"Just getting a snack."

"We ate an hour ago."

"I'm peckish."

Rolling her eyes she started to lie out her exercise books on the kitchen table. Charles bumped against her as he carried his grapes to the sink, rinsed them, turned and went back to where he'd left his bowl at the other side of the kitchen…water trailing along the floor as he did so.

She turned slowly, a book still in her hand. "What the hell Charles?"

"I'll mop it."

"Is it too much trouble to take the bowl to the sink with you, would it take extra effort to think that through?"

"Oh, stop moaning."

"Moaning?" She threw the book to the table. "Moaning! I've spent the last hour and a half cooking your dinner then cleaning up after you. I've got all this bloody work to do and you're going to lounge in your easy chair and read a book and have grapes and a glass of fucking wine."

"Don't swear."

"I'll swear if I want to." She turned back to the table.

"If you didn't fill this place with all your…" he waved his hand in the general direction of the table "…school work we'd have a bit of room to manoeuvre. Books all over the table, bags of things in the hall. There's a pile of essays on that coffee table that have been there since Sunday morning."

"Are you fucking kidding me!" She shouted slamming another book down. "You wanted to go out walking on Sunday so we went out and you know I worked late into the night because of that, hence those essays didn't get done. I'm not a machine."

"And I'm not a child. This is my flat, I don't like being complained at for wetting my own floor."

"Oh, that's lovely – your flat, your floor. You're a cantankerous old git at times."

"And you can be a real shrew at times too! Picking on me about my cricket socks on the bathroom floor."

"I'm not your bloody housemaid."

"And I'm not some hen-pecked old man!"

"Maybe I'll move out again then, back to my own place."

"Maybe you should."

Exactly two minutes later Elsie finds herself flat on her back in the kitchen, her skirt around her waist, knickers around her ankles and Charles between her legs as she hastily kicked down his trousers.

"I don't want you to leave," he said, covering her face in kisses.

"I don't want to leave either."

"I like you taking up all the room."

"I like you reading in your chair."

And then he's inside of her and it's fast and frantic and they're both moaning apologies and words of devotion.

"I don't want this to ever stop," he tells her as he sucks on her earlobe.

"I don't want you to stop." She groans, gripping his shoulders, "God, don't stop!"

"You feel so good," his hands are flat on the floor by her head, supporting himself as he thrusts inside her.

"Yes, you do. I want you so badly…" she lifts her legs up and around him, pushing them closer to a frenzied climax.

"Maybe we should get a bigger place." He says afterwards, staring up at the cracked ceiling.

"I'm still unpacking my boxes here."

Her feet are bare and resting on the fridge door, he watches her wiggling her toes – nails painted bright red – the hints of a tan line where her sandals have been.

"I know. But we could just see what's out there. Some place a bit bigger."

"What about the shop?"

"I can run it without living above it."

She sighed, "It's expensive in Harrogate though, even of we just went for somewhere a wee bit bigger it would be extortionate to live in the town."

"Then let's move out of the town," he lifted his feet up to rest against the fridge door next to hers, measuring the differences in width and length.

"You never wanted to before."

"Things change. I'm quite fancying the idea of a bit of a garden, perhaps a view of the Yorkshire countryside. Somewhere not too far for either of us to get to work."

She twisted her head on the floor to look at him, "You've been thinking about this."

"I have actually. I thought about it a while ago."

"Before I moved in here?"

"When we were in Dubai." He smiled as her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Remember the day in the museums – the pearls, we had a great lunch."

"You don't have to prompt me, I remember every day we spent there."

"Well then, that day, I was going to ask you that day."

She rested her head against his shoulder, "Oh."

"Mmm. When I gave you the earrings, I was going to ask then. But then you distracted me with your womanly ways…"

"Ah!" She gently tapped his arm. "I did not."

"We had that incredible night," he kissed her head remembering. "And then all went to shit."

"Let's not remember that part."

He stared at their feet again, "So, what about it?"

"Well, I'm not adverse to looking. But can it wait until the summer holidays? I'm getting so tired now my brain won't be able to take on any more information."

"Sure, that's fine."

She slid her feet from the fridge, draping her legs over his. "And you're so busy with the shop anyhow, building that customer base again."

"You think Anna will really do a few days, I know she said she would the other night but she could have just been being kind."

"I think she's bored and poor so yes, she'll do it. And then you may not even have to close whilst we're in Italy, she may be able to cope on her own. At least for a few days a week."

"Maybe."

"You called me a shrew!" She suddenly laughed. "In fact, let's just…" she leant toward the table, pulling her handbag from the chair and taking out her phone, "Look. It. Up." She tapped on her phone; he was shaking his head at her, rubbing her back. "Now, shrew – ah, here we go: a bad-tempered or aggressively assertive woman."

He felt his cheeks redden, "Did I say that?"

"You did indeed."

"I'm very sorry."

"You already said that too," she rested on his chest, folding her hands beneath her chin. "I think you said it a few times to be honest."

"Mmm, you did call me cantankerous."

"No, let's get it right," she said pointing her finger at him. "I called you a cantankerous old git. We may as well have the full affect."

He tangled his fingers in her hair, "Do you think that counts as our first domestic argument then?"

"I believe it does." She kissed his chest, "I've got to do some marking honey, as nice as this has been."

"Hmm," he turned to kiss her forehead, "Oddly nice on the kitchen floor."

"Don't trip over your trousers when you get up." She pushed against him, knelt on the floor and used the table to help her to her feet.

She was just rolling her neck and rearranging her skirt as he got up, rubbing his shirt, "My back's wet."

"Serves you bloody right," She laughed throwing a dishcloth at him.

Saturday - the party

Charles was nervous, though he'd never admit it. He'd never been anyone's father figure – and he wasn't claiming to be one now – but he felt as if he were in that position tonight.

Climbing the stone steps up to the grand hotel with Elsie he kept his eyes focussed on the back of her head, his hand resting tentatively at the base of her spine.

"I'm excited," she said as she lifted her dress to climb the steps. "This is very posh."

"It is, we never had any of this when I finished University, just a piss up in the local pub."

She chuckled, "I know." By the door they joined the line of other parents and Elsie dug around in her bag for their tickets. "I hope you're going to dance with me tonight Mr Carson." She said, brushing her hair back from her face.

"Every chance I get," he kissed the back of her head, noting how she glanced around as they waited to go in.

He reached for her hand, squeezed it in his. "Alright?"

"Yes." She squeezed his hand in return. "Yes, very much so."

"You do look beautiful." He stepped closer to her, whispering by her ear, "In fact, I've looked around and I think you're the most beautiful woman here."

She giggled, whispering in return, "I think you may be biased."

"Or very bloody accurate."

"Ha! Or that."

She handed their tickets across and they followed the line inside, the ballroom they were ushered into was spectacularly decorated, and she felt proud that her daughter had played a part in setting this up. There were garlands of blue fabric hung from the ceiling decorated with silver-star lights – the same lights woven into the potted plants dotted around the room.

They found their table; on the east side of the room, not too far from the dance floor. Perfect.

Charles unbuttoned his jacket, and took his seat whilst Elsie searched the room for Anna but it was too busy to spot her.

"She'll find us," he assured her and nodding she sat beside him, turning in her seat to face him, her hand on his leg.

"We're living quite an elegant life of late Charlie, don't you think."

"You know, Elspeth, how much I adore it when you call me that."

"Mmm, I know." She teased, leaning in to kiss him.

She felt a hand on her back and sat up quickly. "Now mother, don't embarrass me by smooching in public."

"Hi sweetheart," she got up, hugging Anna, "you look so beautiful." She stood back, "Twirl for me."

"Honestly, you'd think I was still fifteen." But she obeyed and turned accordingly.

"I think I need a picture," Elsie gushed, fussing in her bag for her phone. "My little girl all grown up and elegant."

She snapped a few pictures, until she felt Charles' hand on her arm, "Go stand with her and let me get the two of you together."

They happily posed for several shots, Elsie's arm tight around her daughter's waist. "Enough?" Charles asked.

"I think so." She took the phone from him and they started to look through what he'd taken.

"I'll go get us a drink," he said, leaving them alone.

"You really do look beautiful," Elsie said. "And I'm so very proud of you."

Anna turned to face her, "I'm proud of you too mum."

"Why?"

"Because." She shrugged. "Just because. And thank you for the loan of your car."

"You're welcome," she brushed invisible specks of dust from Anna's bare shoulders, "You're not driving it tonight though are you?" She suddenly said, concern on her face.

"God no, it's safe at home, I intend to wake up tomorrow not knowing how I got home."

Elsie shook her head, "I don't want to hear that. Anyhow, before you disappear to your table with your friends I have something for you." She pulled a small box from her bag, "Now, it was your Grandmother's, I had to have it resized for you."

"Oh mum," Anna flipped the lid to reveal a deep sapphire ring shining back at her.

"I had it cleaned up too, I want you to have it, you never knew your Grandmother but she'd be immensely proud of you."

Anna pulled her Elsie into another hug. "She'd be proud of you too mummy."

She kissed her daughter's head, "Now, don't go getting me all watery eyed. I've spent ages on this eye-liner."

"Alright," she stood back, putting the ring on. "Fancy, fancy don't you think."

"Oh very nice," Charles agreed retuning to them. "I told you she'd love it," he said smiling at Elsie. "Now shall we have some champagne to toast you with?"

"I like all this celebrating me, it's rather wonderful."

"It comes from being an only child," Elsie teased.

They had lamb for main course, which pleased Charles greatly, and by the time dessert had arrived (a warm plum tart with cream) Elsie had fully relaxed. She was chatting amiably with the others on their table and there was plenty of laughter and joking – and he was relieved. They had made it through the night with no mention of Joe and no sight of him. For the first time since hearing of his existence Charles could thank him for doing one thing right. Not turning up.

"Honey…" Elsie whispered, leaning against his arm.

He brushed his thumb across her shoulder. "Yes?"

"This man over here, was his name Simon? Well, I think he rather likes me and in any moment will ask me to dance, and I may just take him up on it should no other handsome fellow make the most of the opportunity." Her eyes sparkled with amusement.

He smiled, "Trying to prove a point are we?"

"Do I need to?"

He leant in closer to whisper by her ear, "You just wait until we get back to that hotel room darling. I'll prove a point."

She was giggling wickedly as she got to her feet, pulling on his hand as he rose from his chair and followed her to the dance floor.

She was happily swaying against him, her head pressed against his shoulder, when Anna approached them, tapping her mum on the arm.

"What's wrong?" Elsie smiled, "Do you want to dance with me instead?"

Anna led them to the side of the dance floor, her face pale, "Dad's here," she said, her voice low. "And he's drunk and he's behaving oddly – like, really oddly."

Elsie felt her heart tighten, her lungs close in.

"Where is he?"

"I dragged him out into another room, he's raving that he wants his dinner but it was served two hours ago. It's embarrassing mum."

"Alright sweetheart," she squeezed her shoulder. "I'll go talk to him."

Charles' eyes closed involuntarily, so much for doing the right thing.

"Which room?" Elsie asked again.

"It's out the door, over there, straight across. Like a library or something, I left him slumped on the sofa, said I was going to get someone to get him some dinner."

"I'll go with you." Charles said gravely.

"No. No I'll be fine." Elsie assured him, not daring to look round to his face, "I'm used to him." She didn't want to say that he'd be angry to see Charles, that she feared violence and she couldn't have stood for that – Charles wasn't that kind of man and she didn't want Joe to force him to become that way.

She walked away from them both, she did it quickly and determinedly – if she was going to have to deal with this it was best to get it over with.

Pushing open the door she took a deep, shuddering breath, preparing herself for whatever was going to come her way.

"Joe?" She said gently, seeing the back of his head, he was sitting on a high-backed sofa by the fire.

He turned; his eyes red, face ashen. "Elly…" he breathed. "So good to see you. And you look real nice too, real nice."

Squaring her shoulders she crossed the room, moved to stand in front of the fire so she could see his face.

"No offence Joe but you look like hell."

"Gee, thanks baby." He took a swig from the hip-flash he was carrying. "Must be living without you." He suddenly covered his face with his hand, rubbing his eyes.

"Joe?"

"She's left me Elly, pregnant and left me. Stuck on that godforsaken farm with no wife and no baby."

"Well, I'm sorry…" she watched as the painful emotions ran across his face, a shadow of the man she once knew. "I am sorry Joe." She stepped closer to him and his hands reached for her body, pulling her too him, his face buried against her stomach.

Charles turned his wine glass around and around again, watching the deep red liquid inside swirl up the side of the glass.

"You think she's alright?" Anna asked.

"I don't know."

"She's been a long time."

"Yep." His mouth felt dry, his chest aching.

Anna glanced across to the door again, staring at it, willing her mother to come back.

"How much longer should we give her?" She asked.

Charles drained the wine in his glass, "I think we've given her long enough." He claimed, standing and striding purposefully across the ballroom to where Elsie had gone. Anna rushing behind him.

Elsie pushed hard on Joe's shoulders, forcing her body out of his grasp.

"Don't do that," she said, her voice cold.

"Why not, I need you to help me."

"I am here to help you, I'm here to stop you embarrassing your daughter, making a fool out of yourself and risking not seeing her again. Because she's upset Joe, you turning up in this state."

"What fucking state?"

"You're drunk. You're loud and bolshy and embarrassing her."

"Bollocks!"

"You should go back to your hotel and rest, call Anna tomorrow."

"Don't me tell me what the fuck to do!" he said, suddenly on his feet.

The door behind them opened and Anna and Charles came in, Anna closing the door behind them.

Joe's face seemed to draw in on itself, grey and tight.

"What the hell is he doing here? This is my daughter, my family. He's got no place."

"Joe." Elsie pleaded.

"Dad, please."

"Joe listen, you're upset, I get that." She tried to get him to focus on her, standing in front of him, blocking his view of Charles – the sofa between the four of them. "And we want to help you, honestly we do, Anna and I, but you need to go sleep this off first."

"I said stop fucking telling me what to do!" He roared at her.

"Don't speak to her like that." Charles warned, his voice low, neutral.

Joe turned to face him again, a sly grin on his face. "Who the hell are you? Some bloody bookkeeper who's lusted after my wife for years. Well, you've had your fun, got yourself laid, you can leave now. She's back with me. So toddle on old man."

Charles didn't get a chance to respond because for the first time in her life Elsie let her feelings show physically and she slapped Joe hard across the face, her hand stinging with the force of it.

"Don't you DARE!" Her voice was hard, firm, and she pointed at him, her hand never shaking. "Don't you dare talk to him like that!"

Joe was silenced by her venom, he'd never seen her like that, she wasn't the woman he was married to all those years. She wasn't even the woman he'd tried to seduce a few months ago. He touched his raw cheek tenderly.

"I didn't know what love was until I met him." She said strongly. "Do you understand that? I didn't know what love was."

The room was still, silent, the very air around her seemed charged with the energy she was exuding.

"Your twisted way of loving me, telling me that's love. Manipulation and cheating and mind games. I was with you for almost thirty years and I've never been so alone. So don't stand there and try telling me this is your family, and your rights. I don't belong to you."

"Elly…"

"I don't belong to you. I don't want you. You no longer even exist to me."

She stepped back from him, "I don't want to know you exist, I don't want to hear your name or think about you or see you for the rest of my life. Do you understand that? I said – do you understand?!"

He nodded, meekly.

"Don't you EVER try to tell me that this is love, that what you did to me all those years was love because you have no idea. Not even the remotest idea, of how to even offer it. He's a million times the man you'll ever be. And yes, he does love me, and you know what, I don't feel disgusted and sickened whenever he tells me that."

Holding his gaze she backed away, moving around the sofa until she got to Charles, she brushed his arm with her hand as she passed him, urging him to go with her.

She could hear Anna crying and she knew she had to get out of the room, she wouldn't break, she wouldn't cry or even flinch where he could see it. Her hand was on the door handle when he spoke again.

"She didn't say she loved you." Joe spat out, his voice laced thick with spite. "She didn't," he shrugged, staring hard at Charles, menace and sarcasm in his eyes. "Having free access to her pussy and having her heart are two very different things, and she gives the first up easy I can tell you!"

Before Elsie even had time to turn Charles was around the sofa and had pounded his fist into Joe's face. The other man tumbled; fell backwards onto the sofa clutching his jaw.

"You absolute bastard!" Charles raged, leaning over him, going in for more but Elsie was pulling on his arm.

"Oh god, no, Charles don't please." It took all her strength to pull him back, to hold him still. She forced him to look at her. "I don't want you to be that man. Please." She rubbed his arms, looked into his eyes, her voice pleading, "Please…" She held his arms, and he quieted, his rage quelled by her soft voice.

He walked with her to the door, her hands still clutching his arm.

"Don't call me again Dad." Anna said, slamming the door shut after them.

Elsie headed outside, seeking the coolness of night. Back down the stone steps, she walked directly through the car park, her heart thudding, her blood buzzing in her ears. She crossed the grass; stopping when she reached a large Oak tree, she pressed her palms against its surface, leant against it for support and closed her eyes breathing in the dark air.

Behind her Charles waited and watched. Gave her time to compose herself before he trampled over the grass to her. He put his hand out to touch her, could see her entire body shaking, but instead he curled his hand in and said gently,

"I'll call a taxi, take us back to the hotel."

Yes," she said, her voice thick.

"Mum," Anna was still sniffling behind them and it was her voice that made Elsie pull herself together. She stood straight, turned and walked back to the main path, her heels sinking into the dirt as she made her way to her daughter.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry." She said, drawing Anna to her, pressing her head against her chest. "So sorry, we ruined your night."

"No. No you didn't, he did. Mum what he said to you…"

"It doesn't matter."

"But it does! It matters a hell of a lot."

"Not anymore." She kissed her forehead. "Look, Charles and I are going to go but you," she breathed deeply. "I want you to carry on with your plans, the party's almost over but you were going to go out with your friends, enjoy yourself."

"Mum…"

"I mean it." She tucked Anna's hair behind her ear, "You dry your tears and go, don't let him ruin it for you. And we'll call you tomorrow and maybe go out for a hangover cure lunch." She attempted a small smile.

"I love you mum."

"And I love you," she squeezed her tight to her again, so often her lifeline over the years it felt good to finally be able to know she didn't need her as a lifeline now, she didn't need anyone to be her lifeline. She had herself to rely on.

In the taxi they sat in silence, it was a fifteen-minute journey and Elsie sat on one side in the back of the cab, Charles at the other.

He paid before following her up the stairs to the hotel. She was already using their key card to get in and was half way along the corridor before he got inside and closed the door behind him.

In silence they walked the corridors, one behind the other, Elsie staring straight ahead, Charles finding the deep purple carpet intensely interesting.

Once inside she went directly to the bathroom and he exhaled, a breath he felt he'd been holding since he'd stood in that room listening to her words. He loosened his necktie, dropped his jacket over the back of a chair and slumped into the easy chair by the window, the drapes were still open and before them a sea of darkness.

Elsie came back in carrying a towel; she bent in front of him and lifted his hand up into her lap. It was the first time he'd realised how much pain he was in, his knuckles swollen – red and purple.

She gently wrapped his hand in the damp cloth.

"I've never hit anyone before," he said, his voice just above a croak.

"I know. We need ice really. Call for drinks and get plenty of ice."

She looked up at him, rubbing his knee, "I'm not avoiding you." She said clearly. "But I'm going to take a bath, I need a moment to myself, alright?"

He nodded, watched as she rose and closed the curtains, her beautiful dress skimming the floor, the rustling of the silken material as she moved. What a waste. An hour ago he had her in his arms dancing.

For some reason he ordered sherry, and water and lots of ice. He sat in silence in the dim light of the room sipping the liquor with his hand in the ice-bucket.

His mind wouldn't settle. There was too much in it, re-playing the scene, what she'd said, how she was. Coming face-to-face with that man after hearing snippets of his behaviour over the years, he suspected there was more but Elsie revealed as and when and he didn't want to push.

He rubbed his eyes, it was almost a quarter past one and his body ached but his mind wouldn't tire.

When the bathroom door finally opened and she emerged in her bathrobe with damp hair and pink, flushed skin he was ready to beg her to forgive him and not leave – so convinced he was that now she'd faced that, stood up to her ex-husband, she would see she didn't need him anymore.

"What did you order?" she asked, picking up the bottle from the small drinks table. "Sherry? I haven't had sherry for years." She filled a small glass and he watched as she knocked it back in one go, coughing slightly then licking her lips.

For a moment she stood watching him, the way he slumped in the over-sized chair, one hand in the bucket, the small glass disappearing inside his other. He looked sad and despondent and she didn't want that.

She moved the table beside his chair so the sherry was in easy access, switched off all the lights but the lamps by the bed and dug out a blanket from the cupboard. Charles watched half-amused, half-mesmerised as she came to him, climbing into his lap, her legs dangling over one side of the chair, her head curled between his arm and chest.

He took the blanket and draped it over her legs and she pulled it up to her chest as she snuggled against him as she closed her eyes.

For a long time they sat in silence, Charles finishing his second sherry, Elsie's warm weight curled against him.

Finally he kissed her head, breathing in her scent. "How are you feeling?" He asked softly.

She let out a long breath, biting on her bottom lip, "Oddly, I feel alright. Shocked maybe, but not by him, by myself, that I stood up to him and finally said what I needed to say."

His hand was on her back, stroking her skin. He remained silent, content to listen.

"I feel a little freer I suppose." She leant her head against his chest again. "Strangely free, like whatever I've been carrying around all this time, since the divorce really, maybe before then, like it's lifted. I needed that. I needed to say that and do that."

"I'm sorry I disappointed you."

She lifted her head quickly, turning her face to his, "How have you disappointed me?"

"By hitting him, I know I let you down doing that."

"No. No Charles you didn't. Did I want you to hit him? No. But that's not because I judge you or I don't want him hurt. It's because you're not that man, you're a kind, good man and I didn't want you to hate yourself for letting him drag you down. Believe me – I know what that feels like."

She touched his face, "My darling man, you could never disappoint me."

"I couldn't bear to think what he's put you through, you're everything to me, everything, and to even imagine that he'd hurt you – I saw red."

"I know. But he does that on purpose. Well, he did. Not anymore. I never again after tonight want to discuss him with you. He isn't part of our lives anymore."

He sighed, as nice an idea as that was he knew it wasn't feasible. There were still things she had to work through, memories best out in the open rather than locked in her head.

"I've been researching counselling." She said, as if reading his mind. "And I think it's about time I go to talk to somebody. Just talk. I don't want to be taking any drugs or anything – I'm not depressed. Being with you has made me the happiest I've ever been. But I need to just talk – about Joe, about my father, my mother. Just to get it out of my head."

He nodded, brushed his hand across her hair, "I think that's a good idea."

She snuggled against him again, her body seemed so fragile at that moment, cradled in his lap and he had such an overwhelming desire to protect her.

"Anna called," he said. "I spoke to her, I hope you don't mind. She's okay, she was in a bar in town and she sounded okay. She was worried about you."

"Did you put her at ease."

"I told her you were sleeping but seemed fine."

"Thank you. I'll ring her tomorrow."

She yawned, pressed her face against his chest breathing him in. "Talk to me. Tell me something nice."

He understood her reasons for that, despite how empowered she might feel it was still raw.

He kissed her forehead, "I remember there was a day you came into the shop. Maybe four months before I plucked up the courage to ask you out. It was raining, spring rain."

He closed his eyes, tilted his head back on the chair as he recalled. "You rushed in, shaking your arms – water going everywhere, and your hair was damp and had curled. I remember you had a newspaper in your hand and it was sodden and you'd been caught out in the rain and had run to the shop with the paper over your head and it seemed so funny. We laughed, you threw the paper away and I got you a towel and made tea and you'd leant on my counter and we talked. I can't recall what of..."

"The smell of the rain." She whispered.

"Yes, that, you smelt like spring rain, your hair touched my hand when you bent over the counter to look at an article I was showing you and it made my stomach shiver."

She smiled.

"And when you were wandering around the shop looking over the new books and I was watching you I got this odd feeling in my chest. Like I could talk to you forever. Like I never wanted you to leave. But of course you did. You bought a book and I wrapped it and it stopped raining and you left."

"I remember," he kissed her head again, "I remember going to bed that night and I couldn't sleep and there was this oddly disconcerting and ridiculous idea going around in my head. It was silly – though we'd spoken for years I hardly knew you, and for all I knew you were still married, and just being polite and we'd shared nothing but a handful of pleasant conversations. But I'm lying there and I'm thinking, feeling, like I was falling in love with you. And I didn't want it to stop."

Phew! I'm relived to finally get that chapter out. I hope you enjoyed it - please leave me a message/review/comment, I really am dying to know what you thought of it. xx R