Bella's POV
The next three nights were the same. Edward and I—along with different members of the family—visited Charlie's. Each night, my reaction to Sue's blood lessened. No, technically, that wasn't true. My reaction was still as strong, but my ability to handle it—to ignore the burn of the thirst—steadily improved. Eleazar was sure I was a shield, which was what he thought muted my reaction to Sue's blood.
In fact, things had been going so well, Alice had assured us that tonight's visit was going to go just fine and I would rise to the challenge.
"I don't know about this," I said to Edward and Jasper as we stood at the bottom of the stairs.
"Bella," Jasper started, settling his hand on my shoulder and squeezing gently. When I looked up at him, he continued, "Trust yourself—and if you can't trust yourself, trust us. Edward and I will be there, holding you back if necessary—not that I think you'll need that. Alice's vision hasn't wavered. She still sees you holding and rocking Lizzie."
I nodded and then motioned for Edward to go ahead. When he turned away, I clutched the back of his shirt and followed him silently up the stairs.
As we passed Charlie and Sue's door, I ignored the scent of Sue's blood, the steady sound of their hearts beating rhythmically in their chests; instead, all my focus was on the door ahead of me, where I knew my daughter lay sleeping.
Edward opened the door—which had been oiled within an inch of its life shortly after Lizzie was born because we'd been afraid the small squeak would wake her—and we slipped inside.
My back hit the door as I struggled to not fall apart. I could hear my daughter clearly—her soft inhalations and exhalations as she breathed, her heart thrumming quickly in her chest, and the restless movements as she twitched in her sleep.
"Are you all right, love?" Edward murmured into my ear, quietly enough that the baby monitor sitting on the dresser beside the crib couldn't pick it up.
I nodded. "Closer," I begged, barely able to vocalize anything.
We moved across the room, one step at a time, until we were peering over the top rail into Lizzie's crib.
Edward reached over and turned the monitor down almost all the way, answering my raised eyebrow with a shrug and, "So we don't accidentally let Charlie or Sue overhear."
No one moved, no one breathed; I wasn't sure anyone even blinked for close to an hour. We all stared down at the miracle of my daughter as she slept. I clutched Edward's hand like it was my lifeline, keeping me grounded. Jasper was next to me, his hand on my shoulder a calming beacon as my emotions raged nearly out of control. I had a feeling he was using every bit of his gift to keep me calm.
When Lizzie made a snuffling noise, like she always did as she was coming out of sleep, I knew I couldn't handle any more. With my fists clenched to keep myself from reaching in and picking her up, I swallowed a sob and turned away.
"Home," I cried softly. "Please!"
"Go," Jasper said, more to Edward than me I realized, as Edward took my hand and nearly pulled me to the bedroom window.
We'd jumped to the ground and were running before I could even think.
"Jasper was gonna stay just long enough to make sure the monitor was back on and the house was locked up, and then he'll be with us," Edward said as we ran.
I nodded mutely, feeling nothing—not the mist in the air, the wind in my hair, or Edward's hand in mine—except my heart breaking.
~*~*~FC~*~*~
Edward's POV
By the time Bella and I reached the edge of town, Jasper had caught up.
She's a wreck, Edward.
I looked over at him and nodded to let him know I already knew. I could tell from the way she was shaking.
Would you like some time alone with her when we get back?
I nodded again, thankful once again for my brother.
Anytime, man. Anytime.
His thoughts turned to getting Alice and the rest of the family out of the house so Bella and I would have the privacy we needed. Both Jasper and I knew she wouldn't want to fall apart again in front of everyone if she could help it.
"Edward," Bella whimpered through gritted teeth. "I...I can't go in there now."
We'd reached the edge of the large backyard, near Esme's garden, and she was looking up at the house.
That was when I heard Alice's voice in my head.
Don't worry, brother mine. We're all leaving out the front now. We'll go for a run and give you guys some time.
Just as Jasper split off around the side of the house, I tugged on Bella's hand, slowing to a walk, and explained about the others leaving. "We'll have the house to ourselves for a while, love. Please, come inside."
She nodded, allowing me to lead her through the back door and directly up the stairs to my—our—bedroom.
Not sure how else to help her, I led her to the edge of the bed, scooped her into my arms, and lay down with her on top of the bedding. As soon as we were still, she turned in my arms and buried her face in my chest, her delicate-looking hands fisting tightly in my shirt. I heard the fabric tearing, but I couldn't find it in my heart to care, not when her heart was so clearly pained.
Bella was still shaking. If she'd been human, I'd have thought of it like the letdown after an adrenaline rush.
"Isabella," I crooned softly, smoothing the hair back from her face and tucking it behind her ear. "I'm here if you wanna talk about it." I wasn't sure exactly why she'd run—whether it'd been fear, bloodlust, or just that it was too much—but I knew when she was ready, she would tell me what was going through her mind.
For a long time, her only response was to hold me closer.
Then, she suddenly spoke. "I was afraid I would hurt her," she whispered. "I wanted so badly to pick her up, to hold her. But just yesterday, I crushed the shower knob when I turned off the water. How am I supposed to hold my daughter when she's infinitely more fragile and precious than a stupid piece of metal? I'll kill her."
Her voice nearly broke me. I'd never wanted her to feel that way. It was one of the things I'd feared when we were together at the beginning and why I'd been so adamantly opposed to her becoming immortal. But now... Now, I knew better.
"You won't," I said firmly. She started to open her mouth, but I cut her off. "No, love, you won't. You can't. Remember how sure you were that I wouldn't hurt you? You were right. I know that now. Yes, physically, I could have. But I would've rather walked through fire than harm one single hair on your head."
I watched as her eyes met mine, the pain beginning to recede as she listened to my words.
"Your love for Lizzie will force you to be more careful than you've ever even realized you can be. You've already proven the bloodlust isn't an issue. I'll be right beside you, reminding you to keep your touch light, to remember she's physically as fragile as a piece of glass." Taking her chin in my hand, I kept her eyes on me as I vowed, "I will keep you and your daughter safe—even from yourself."
Before I could guess what Bella was going to do, she tangled her fingers in my hair and pulled my mouth to hers.
Since reuniting, there'd been many kisses between the two of us. All the feelings between us when Bella was human had been multiplied with her transformation to vampire. Every time my lips touched hers, an inferno ignited in my body, stealing my unnecessary breaths. It was better than anything I'd ever experienced—myself or through the thoughts and memories of others.
That was why it was so hard for me to pull away.
"Bella..." I groaned when her fingers tightened in the hair at the nape of my neck. It didn't hurt—far from it, in fact. It felt amazing, sexy, needy...but I wouldn't take this step with her if she wasn't ready.
"Edward," she said on a sigh, dropping her forehead to mine and breathing heavily.
My phone buzzed from the pocket of my jeans. I was going to ignore it, but it buzzed again, signaling a second text message. Still, I hesitated.
When it buzzed a third time, Bella groaned and shook her head. "You'd better get it. Alice might kill you if you don't."
Holding her as close as possible, I turned enough that I could reach in and grab the irritating piece of electronics.
She'll be fine, Edward, the text from Alice read. If you reject her one more time, I don't see it ending well. We'll be back in the morning. Have fun!
"What'd she say?" Bella asked. I could tell she was trying to sound calm, but I could hear the note of sadness in her voice.
I knew I had a decision to make. I could keep us from going any further, or I could trust both Alice and Bella. Two years ago, I'd have stopped us, too worried for her physical safety and sure I was doing the right thing by waiting. Now, though...
I tossed my phone carefully onto the nightstand beside the bed and turned back to a wide-eyed Bella, hitched her leg up onto my hip until we could get no closer, and drew her down for another kiss.
Bella gasped into my mouth, and I took the opportunity and slid my tongue past her lips, teasing her with the tip of it as I rocked my hips into hers, creating friction and making me even harder behind the restrictive zipper of my jeans.
"Off!" Bella gasped, breaking away from my mouth and clutching at my shirt, pushing it up with her hands.
With one hand, I reached back and pulled my shirt off over my head, tossing it to the floor.
Bella's hands immediately went to my chest as I pulled us to a sitting position. She traced the muscles in my chest and stomach, leaning in for another kiss, but I shook my head and pulled away, reaching for her shirt.
"Need to see you," I groaned as her nails found my nipple and pinched it gently, firing off nerve endings I hadn't even known existed.
I knew I should take it easy, undress her slowly so I could take my time, worship her like she deserved. But fuck if I didn't want to just rip every scrap of clothes right off her.
Bella raised her arms over her head, allowing me to gather her shirt and slowly drag it up her torso, revealing the pale, smooth skin of her flat stomach before the lacy black bra she was wearing came into view. It wasn't the first time I'd seen her in her bra—or out—but knowing this was leading to...more...was disconcerting. I felt every bit the seventeen-year-old I pretended to be, nervous to be on the road to losing my virginity.
Shaking off my nerves as best I could, I finally removed Bella's shirt completely. I could see the effort she put in to not covering herself, looking suddenly shy. In an effort to calm her nerves, I pulled her to me, wrapping one arm around her waist. I lifted the other to run my fingers through her hair until I cupped the back of her neck, tilting her head up slightly.
"You're beautiful," I told her sincerely before lowering my lips to hers. This was gentle, sweet, a melding of hearts and souls as I poured every bit of my love for her into that one kiss.
After several minutes, my hand slid up from her waist to the clasp of her bra. With a flick of my fingers, I had it undone and was sliding the straps over her shoulders and down her arms. When I'd tossed it to the floor, I pulled her close, letting her chest mold itself against mine. I felt her nipples peak against my skin, and when she groaned, I knew she'd felt it, too.
"Edward," she breathed against my lips, pressing herself so close that it felt like she was trying to crawl inside me.
Slowly, oh so slowly, I lowered us to the mattress, somehow able to keep our lips from parting. It was the never-ending kiss, and I'd never been more thankful we had no need of breath. Without much effort, I unsnapped her jeans, and finally, I sat back on my heels to pull the pants from her, tossing them to the floor. I wasn't sure where they landed, because every bit of my attention was focused on the beautiful woman in front of me.
Bella was naked except for the silky black scrap of fabric covering her below. I just sat there, gazing down at the goddess before me. She looked like sin incarnate and an angel, all rolled into one. Her eyes were still the dark burgundy of the newly changed, but even after only this short a time, I could see the difference her diet of animals had made to them. Her hair, thicker and fuller from the change, was fanned out on the pillow, and her smooth, flawless skin looked even more vibrant against the dark sheets with the moonlight shining in through the window wall. Her chest was heaving with her unnecessary breaths, and her breasts were absolute perfection, her nipples begging to be kissed.
"God, you're beautiful," I groaned, lowering myself down to kiss her again. I couldn't get enough of her lips. If I lived to be a thousand, I would never get enough.
Adult content edited after the tattletale threatened to rat me out. Check out the full story at FictionPad if you'd like.
I'd waited nearly a hundred years for that moment, and my dreams hadn't even come close to how perfect it had been. If the squeezing of her inner muscles were any indication, Bella was feeling much the same. I moved gently to reposition us on the bed, still intimately joined, until we were reclining on the mattress.
With a sigh, Bella pressed a kiss to my chest, one hand moving down my arm to grasp my hand, which had been resting on her hip. She entwined our fingers, pulling them up to place a kiss on my hand once before she was still. I closed my eyes, feeling more at peace than I ever had before.
Bliss.