Hey everyone!
Hope you all are well!
Huge thank you to Kimmcarr Whatobsession and Jessypt for putting so much work into this story 3
I cannot believe how close to 3k reviews this has! Thank you all so much. You kind words keep me motivated.
Ok, it's time to meet Charlie! Remember Bella only lived with him a few months and they never knew of each other before. Keep that in mind as you read this chapter, it's not the normal Charlie/Bella relationship, they're practically strangers to each other.
Drown out, the voice that breaks the silence
And talks the joy out of everything
You were found out and had to walk
in darkness without the only thing you care about
~#~
Cry alone, and die alone
Pray alone, and stay alone
You were burned out
And had to stop before all hell broke
And finally took its toll
-Glen Hansard
EPOV Day 5 in Forks
Back straight, shoulders squared. Charlie Williams is all business. Bella has to get her figure from her mother, because in no way did she get Charlie's burly shape. She did, however, get his eyes, minus the dullness and anger radiating from them. Charlie doesn't have to say anything; his body language says it all. Even when he doesn't speak, his black mustache twitches; I can't stop staring at it. Here we sit, introductions have passed, drinks were ordered and have arrived. No conversation has started.
"So..." Carlisle says.
Charlie's eyes are trained on me and have been since I stepped foot in the door. My and Carlisle drinks are gone. I run my hand over the condensation on my glass. It's sweating almost as much as Carlisle is right now. Apparently, the doc isn't too good with awkward confrontation.
"How old are you, Edward?" Charlie demands, rather than asks.
"Twenty-one. You?" I throw back, already annoyed with the way he's coming at me. This isn't an interrogation, and I won't let it turn into one.
If he's pissed at my attitude, he doesn't show it. His expression gives nothing away. He stares at me without ever answering my question. The mustache twitches again.
"Carlisle here says you met Isabella-"
"Bella," I say
"Excuse me?" Now he's irritated.
"Her name. It's Bella. She doesn't like to be called Isabella." He raises an eyebrow but doesn't argue with me. How could he? He doesn't know her.
"So, she showed up on the streets of Portland one night. You wanna tell me about that?" The way he asked was more like 'you're going to tell me about that night,' so I decide I won't.
"Ah, naw. That's ok."
I smirk, and it earns another twitch. The waitress drops off a new soda, and I go out of my way to take a long drink, actively ignoring the man across from me. He keeps his poker face, but his skin turns red. I'm getting to him.
"How did you get to Forks?" is his next question. I shrug in response. I owe nothing to this man and so far, I'm not impressed.
He tries a trick every single cop and criminal knows. He gets real quiet. The atmosphere grows even thicker and more awkward. He hopes it will push me to talk; it won't. Carlisle sits and tears apart his straw wrapper, but Charlie and I continue our standoff.
"Well, how about this, Edward..." In a fashion I've seen in the many interrogations I've been in, Charlie sets both his hands on top of the table, leans forward and speaks in a very clear voice. "If you don't want to answer any of my damn questions, let's talk about you're criminal record. How does that sound, smart ass?"
Fucker. He thinks he can threaten or intimidate me? That's ok, because I have a better topic to discuss. I mimic his exact movements and lean in really close to his face.
"We could... or we could talk about your neglectful ass and how you let your own daughter get kidnapped, raped and tortured for five fucking years, you goddamned prick." My voice comes out low and deadly.
"Hey, hey." Carlisle's arm quickly shoots out, pulling my ass fully back into its seat. I don't fight him and lean back. I can feel my face quickly heat with anger.
"Don't fuck with me," I say, having to get the last word in. This elicits a cruel smirk on Charlie's ugly ass face.
"Go cool off. Now." Usually I would tell Carlisle to shove it, but instead, I stand and walk out. Neither of them is worth my ass going to jail for assault.
Pacing outside, I try to clear my head. I had a feeling this meeting wouldn't go off smoothly or simple, but I wasn't expecting the overwhelming urge I had to go in there and beat Charlie's ass. He's more worried about his agenda and my record than his own daughter. I want to land a punch to his face for every second Bella was less than comfortable.
Taking a few deep breaths, I try to force my blood pressure down. It's sunny and cool; the temperature feels good on my hot skin. I hear the door open, but Carlisle doesn't have to speak for me to know he's hovering behind me.
"He's a loser, Carlisle." I don't turn around to face him.
"He's really not, Edward. You two started wrong."
Apparently he knows I'm rolling my eyes without seeing me because he continues on.
"I told him the same thing as I'm going to tell you." Carlisle walks up next to me. He sits on a planter by the door. "This isn't about you or him. This is about what Bella needs."
"She needs me," I spit back, finally looking at him. He stands as his hands go up in a non-confrontational way.
"I have no doubts about that, Edward. I've told Charlie as much, too. Don't you think she could benefit from getting to know her dad as well?"
I really don't know the answer to that. Just because someone fathers a child doesn't mean he should be a father.
"Whatcha' say? Come in and let's start over?" He puts his hand on my shoulder. I take one more deep breath and go back inside the building.
When we approach the table, Charlie's body language has changed. He isn't as stiff.
"Ok, let's try this again." Carlisle says, optimism dripping from his voice.
"I just want what's best for my daughter, Edward."
"Well, we agree on one thing then. Now, if you could just stop trying to go RoboCop on me, we should be just fine," I say back. He smiles, but there's no humor in it.
"Would you mind telling me how Bella ended up... homeless, with you?" He asks a hell of a lot less confrontationally this time, and I decide to indulge him. He knows the awful details from Carlisle; I'm just filling in the spaces that neither of them know about our time on the street.
When I finish telling them as much as I'm willing to, Charlie puts his notebook he's been writing in away, and his body shifts back into cop mode a little.
"I have to say, Edward, you have quit the rap sheet. You've been in trouble a lot." I nod. I have. What does he want me to say? What does it have to do with anything?
"And you didn't notice your child was miserable. You let her live under your roof - no, forced her really. Her mother wanted her with the Cullens. She was having the hardest time of her life, and you did nothing to help her. Then you let her get kidnapped. She chose to live a dangerous life on the streets rather than call you." His jaw drops a little, but he quickly recovers. I lean back into my chair. "If we're stating facts, let's state them all."
"Edward, there really are things you don't know," Carlisle says, shaking his head.
"Then tell me. I doubt it will change my opinion though." Carlisle and Charlie look at each other, silently communicating something.
"You two gonna make dreamy eyes at each other for the rest of the afternoon or tell what's up?" I'm so annoyed.
Both men give me a look that clearly reflects they aren't impressed by my mouth. Too bad.
"This conversation will not work if both of you don't knock it off. We're three grown men capable of having a calm conversation." Neither Charlie nor I respond to Carlisle's reproach.
When he sees that we plan to just stare down at the table, Carlisle lets out a big sigh. I haven't thought about him at all through all of this, but I'm sure Bella and I barging into his life has brought a lot of stress to him and his family.
"Edward, we weren't - aren't sure - if we were going to tell Bella this. We didn't want to cause her anymore pain with 'what ifs.' Obviously though, it looks like it's going to have to be said," Carlisle says. He and Charlie silently communicate something then with a nod from Carlisle, Charlie continues.
"I'm not blind. I knew she wasn't happy, and I had no idea what to do. I'll admit that." His voice comes out loud and stern. Charlie leans back in his chair and starts to fidget with his hands. "I had no idea I had a child out there. None. I didn't know Renee for more than a week, and she never told me she was pregnant. The day I got the call about Bella I was actually happy. I was alone, no family, divorced. I was excited to meet the daughter I never knew I had."
The waitress comes back with our food. None of us touch it. When he starts speaking again, his voice is quieter, less confident.
"When she came I was lost. I had no idea what to do. I tried to get her to talk, tried to be there for her, but I was a stranger - a stranger who, in her eyes, ripped her from her friends and the only family she knew." He gestures to Carlisle.
"I was in constant contact with the Cullens, but I couldn't get Bella to talk to them or tell me why she wouldn't. We were a couple months into the new arrangement, and she was deteriorating. She wouldn't eat. She was skipping school... I had no siblings or even a pet. I had no idea how to handle a fourteen year-old. I understood then, fully, the mistake I had made by taking her away from everything. Immediately, I called Carlisle, and we were making legal arrangements for Bella to live with the Cullens during the school year. She was going to have the option, but I was really hoping she would choose to visit me - get to know me - during her breaks from school. We didn't want to tell her until everything was set in stone, didn't want to get her hopes up if it fell through for some reason. I was planning on telling her when she came home for school... the day she went missing."
I'm sure the shock was evident on my face. If Bella knew she was going back to live with the family she knew and loved, if she had just stuck it out a little longer, she would never let the 'what ifs' escape her mind. If this had happened, she would never have faced all the evil and torture she went through. This would kill Bella if she knew.
"I have nothing to prove to you, but I did hunt." Charlie's voice snaps me out of my shock. My head pops up to see his red angry face. "I searched for my daughter every second of every day. I gave up my detective job I worked twenty-five years to get in order to focus on my missing daughter."
"Oh, well that just changes everything now that I know you're so fucking selfless."
"Edward," Carlisle says - a warning.
"No. You don't deserve Bella and your sad story does nothing for me."
A fat finger is thrust into my face.
"You listen, and you listen good. You're nothing but a thieving, drug dealing, homeless bum - nothing more. I'm not like Carlisle, and I don't trust you. I don't know how you've managed to attach yourself to Isabella - manipulate her - but you're no good for her."
"Like I said, it's Bella and fuck you."
I've had enough and stand, walking away from the table. I don't feel Carlisle behind me, but I don't give a shit. I'll walk home.
~*E&B*~
As I walk and think, I get more pissed. Who the hell does he think he is? He was only a dad for a few months and failed. Not having experience isn't an excuse for being a complete failure. I've never been a boyfriend to anyone before, but I'd like to think I haven't failed Bella.
The sun has risen higher in the sky and I'm starting to feel like I'm being baked alive. I peel my sweatshirt off before making it to the main road back to Forks. I'm not sure what I'll do when I get there. I don't want to stay with Carlisle. I hate to take Bella away from them, but this just isn't working out for me. I've been on my own since I was twelve and don't need people jumping in now trying to parent me.
I continue to walk down the two-way, forest lined, highway. I have to step into the deep undergrowth of the forest every time a car comes flying down the road. I wasn't paying much attention on the drive to meet Charlie, but I expect it to take me a while to get back on foot.
I'm lost in my thoughts and don't notice a car quickly approaching. I'm not fast enough to jump fully off the highway and get splashed from an old puddle on the road.
"Fucker!" I add my middle finger in the air for effect.
My new shirt from Esme is now sprinkled with brown, tainted water.
I'm facing on-coming traffic but can hear a car purr behind me as it comes to a stop. I assume who it is and continue walking. The car door opens and slams shut.
"Edward." I've heard my name more in the past week than I have in the past year. I'm so sick of people shouting at me to get me to do what they want. Raising my middle finger up I step into the undergrowth to avoid an oncoming car.
"Edward, please." Louder this time.
"What?" I say. Carlisle looks exhausted.
"Please get in the car so we can talk." He takes his glasses off and wipes his eyes with one hand.
"I've had enough talking for a life time, Carlisle. I'm sorry, I know this isn't your fault... or your problem, but I'm done. Past done, really."
Carlisle opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by his phone ringing. He pulls it out and silences it after looking at the screen.
"I understand, Edward. I didn't expect for you two to butt heads so badly. I'm sorry it didn't go better. We don't need to stand on the side of the -"
His phone insistently rings again. Sighing he pulls his it out of his pocket.
"What?" he says into the speaker. His face drops and shoulders slump. He has my attention.
"Slow down... no, don't touch her. Why... what? Who?" I'm having a hard time hearing what he's saying but he's obviously trying to calm down the person on the other line. When I hear Bella's name and 'the paramedics' in the same sentence I jog across the street.
"What's going on?" Carlisle puts his hand up to me and plugs his ear with his finger asking the person on the other end of the line to repeat themselves.
"I'm not - Alice, you need to calm down. I'm not there. I can't do anything from here. Call 911, and we'll be there as fast as we can."
My heart constricts, and I feel myself start to sweat instantly. I want to rip the damn phone from Carlisle's ear and get answers.
A million scenarios run through my mind. I left Bella at Emmett's house, what the hell could have happened?
Carlisle hangs the phone up and jumps in the driver seat of his car. He doesn't have to ask me to get in. I'm already shutting my door as he starts the car.
"What the hell happened?"
Carlisle looks over his shoulder and flies full speed onto the road, rocks and gravel fly behind the car. I grab the handle as I'm thrown into the door of the car.
"I don't know. It sounds like she's having a severe panic attack." He crawls up on the ass of the car in front of us. As soon as we pass the curve in the road he speeds up and passes in the opposite lane of traffic.
"That's all?" I demand.
"Edward, I really don't know. Alice called the paramedics already, but she won't let anyone near her."
All the anger and irritation I was feeling less than three minutes ago is gone. I just want to get to Bella. We fly past the exit to Emmett's house, and I about lose it.
"What the hell, Carlisle! You just passed the damn exit!" Now is not the time to fuck up and pass the exit.
"She's not at Emmett's," Carlisle says so quietly I almost don't catch it.
My hands grip my legs. "Where the fuck is she?"
Carlisle lets out a big sigh. I can tell he doesn't want to answer my question. "The mall."
Why the fuck would Bella be at a mall? She can barely stand to be around people she's known most her life, let alone a giant crowd of people - of men. My teeth grind, and my face gets hot. I lean forward bracing myself against the dash as Carlisle flies around traffic going fast as hell. I keep my mouth shut knowing I will freak out. It's not Carlisle's fault, and I want him to get there as fast as possible so I can figure out who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to take her to the mall.
We pull into the parking lot and see and ambulance outside the main doors. Carlisle parks behind it and we both jump out of the car, running inside the building. Rose is right inside the door waiting for us. Her cheeks are pink and tears stain her face.
"She... she was fine. She talked us into coming. She was laughing... I don't... I don't..." I don't have time for her to learn to form a sentence.
"Where is she?"
She doesn't try and speak again. She just heads into a store on our right. What I see when I walk in is something I won't ever forget.
There's a group of people all crowded around with either panic or shock on their faces. When I force my way through, I see Bella in the middle of the chaos, curled against the wall. She has her hands over her ears and her eyes are wildly unfocused. She wears the new clothes Esme bought her and looks so pretty, but new clothing doesn't erase old fears. I lurched forward only to be violently ripped back.
"You can't touch her." I turn to see some fucker holding me back. I shove him as hard as I can, and he goes flying into a display, sending shit everywhere.
The chaos grows, but I still make it to Bella. I reach out and touch her but when I make contact she screams at the top of her lungs, and I jump back as if I touched fire. She starts crawling up the wall and screaming for me to help her. The entire crowd grows silent and watches the show in front of them.
"Bella, baby I'm right here."
I get on my stomach trying to mimic her position. She's stopped screaming, but her eyes are squeezed shut and she's chanting my name. I feel like screaming myself for not being able to get through to her.
"Edward... please don't let him take me," she moans, covering her face with her hands. Her nails are digging into her skin and her breathing is labored. Blood trickles down her face from where her nails are breaking her skin. I reach out and grab her hand softly, trying to stop her from hurting herself, and she freaks out all over again.
"Bella... please." My voice comes out strained and thick with emotion. I rub my hands over my face. I would do anything to trade places with her and take all her pain on me. I'm pleading with her to snap out of whatever's going on so she can see I'm right in front of her.
I've completely forgotten my surroundings and almost hit Carlisle out of reflex when he shows up on the ground next to me.
"Edward, she's having a complete panic attack. You have to let the paramedics do their job."
I look back at Bella and see that she is barely able to breathe. I know he's right but to listen to him means to stand up, abandoning her and letting strangers in. I don't want to do that. When I hear her struggle again for another breath, I know there is nothing I can do to help her and by keeping the paramedics away I'm only hurting her.
I reach out and touch her leg before I force myself to stand up and move back.
"I love you, baby. I'm so sorry," I say, my voice shaky. As soon as I'm a foot away three paramedics rush her, including the guy I shoved into the display.
Carlisle stands back with me, and we watch helplessly as they put a breathing mask on her face and a needle in her arm. She becomes groggy enough to allow the paramedics to safely get her onto the stretcher and into the ambulance. I stand on the side of the road watching the ambulance drive away. The feelings of helplessness that overwhelm me rival those the night I wasn't able to help my mom.
I'll try and get the next chapter out as soon as I can!
I'll have a teaser on the forum this week! Find me on twitter kdc2239 if you want updates on the next chapter or if you just want to say hi :)
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