The Phantom - A parody of Tradition from Fiddler on the Roof
Andre, on the stage, announces:
A phantom of the opera! Sounds crazy, right? Well in our world-renowned Opera, people believe that there really is a phantom! Do I? Well, of course I do! He wants 20,000 francs every month! Why do others believe? Where was the myth started? Who knows, but I have a few opinions from people who do believe!
(Walks over to Firmin, who is one the stage).
Firminand Andre: The phantom! The phantom!
The phantom!
The phantom!
The phantom!
The phantom!
The phantom!
Firmin: Who, day and night, must ruin all the op'ras,
Steal our ever franc,
Hurt our status with the bank!
And who hates it so
'Cause everywhere I go
He's constantly there haunting me!
Andre and Firmin: Managers! Managers!
The phantom!
Managers! Managers!
The phantom!
(Andre walks over to Raoul)
Raoul: Who must know the way to kidnap my Christine?
It is obscene!
Oh how obscene!
Who is it this maniac want to kill
So he is free to live without him there?
Andre and Raoul: The patron! The patron!
The phantom!
The patron! The patron!
The phantom!
(Andre walks over to the ballerinas)
Ballerinas: At three, he haunted my nightmares.
It gave me quite a scare.
And still I think he stalks about.
Oh how I hate him!
Andre and Ballerinas: The dancers! The dancers!
The phantom!
The dancers! The dancers!
The phantom!
(Andre walks over to the orchestra pit)
Orchestra: And why is it we learn
To play this crazed Don Juan?
I hate these stupid songs.
They sound as if they're wrong!
Andre and orchestra: Musicians! Musicians!
The phantom!
Musicians! Musicians!
The phantom!