An: Thank you for your patience. I realized many of you might not follow me on Tumblr (WriterKomLoveKru), and I apologize if you didn't get my note. I left my flash drive at work over the weekend, so I had no way of updating this story. Sorry! But here's a good way (hopefully) for you to start your week! Sorry for any mistakes. Enjoy!
Things were looking up for Clarke. She was convinced that for the first time since she decided to move out west, her career was finally beginning to take shape. A sign that her audacious decision to leave her small-town home had not been for naught.
Well truth be told, had she ended up working a regular nine to five, and Lexa had still crossed paths with her, she would still be content with her life. The brunette was everything Clarke had not expected, but needed.
In any case, her life was good and she was happy.
Of course, she had yet to become a household name in the art world, but her continued lessons at The Ark, and the exposure Mr. Harwood had gifted her with, had gradually associated her with the right people.
Various artists, friends of Frankie's and Mr. Harwood's, had taken notice of her unique talent and had not hesitated to offer her their own guidance and business acquaintances.
It was daunting at first, knowing so many people with such influence, but Clarke worked diligently to earn every single compliment and vote of confidence they bestowed upon her. She spent her days bringing life to her thoughts and visions on every blank canvas. Perfection was extremely hard to come by, but that was her goal every time.
More times than not, she found a new way to use her life as inspiration for her art. It was not uncommon to find herself constantly referencing or altogether including her girlfriend in those pieces.
Lexa had repeatedly teased about her continued starring role in the blonde's work, often pretending to hire an agent who could draw up a legal contract for her. Really, neither girl hated those times. Mostly because they got to spend time together. Absolutely because those nights usually came to an end with passionate sex.
The girls had become quite acquainted with Lexa's living room carpet and Clarke's sofa in recent weeks.
It was a win-win in both of their minds.
Work at Tassels was great, and Indra had finally relaxed enough to let Titus breathe. She drove the poor man crazy during the months when she struggled with the knowledge of their debt and impending closure. Nowadays the man usually looked bored, because if he wasn't running around looking tense and intimidating, he wasn't doing what he was born to do. At least that's what Echo and Lexa would say night in and night out.
Many of the crew had suggested that Indra give it a go with her trusted assistant, but she shot down the idea immediately every time. Her words were along the lines of 'Insanity is trying something multiple times expecting different outcomes'. She had married twice, divorced, became a widow, and she had concluded that her life was better suited for running her business and raising the 'children' that worked for her.
Besides, Indra was always so busy providing motherly advice to the crew that she hardly had time for her own love life, or lack thereof.
Which is why Clarke was not surprised when the woman walked up to her.
"Hey there, sweet girl." Indra walked up to bar counter where the blonde was cleaning the mirrors and liquor bottles. She turned with a smile as soon as she heard the older woman's tone. "I heard about your art hanging up in some fancy gallery. Is there a chance we're going to be able to see it for ourselves any time soon?" The woman asked before sitting on a stool in her sophisticated manner.
Clarke smiled as she got off the step stool and walked over to her boss. "You can go any time you'd like, Indra. Mr. Harwood won't bite." She teased.
The woman nodded. "I might just go soon, then." She smiled again. "Congrats, sweetie. We're all very proud." She paused. "I'm proud."
"Thanks, Indra." The blonde replied almost shyly. "It means a lot."
Her boss nodded at her. "Lexa won't stop talking about it. I know she's proud too."
There was an instant smile on the younger girl's face at the mention of her girlfriend's name. She nodded back at the woman. "She is and that makes me super happy, Indra."
"How's Ms. Silva treating you? Are you treating her well?" The woman changed the subject without indecision.
Clarke smiled and held back the small laugh that bubbled up. Indra could be such a mom sometimes. "We're both treating each other well. We're happy, and we're both trying our hardest to be the best versions of ourselves in this relationship." She admitted, grateful for the woman's genuine concern.
"Good." Indra nodded. "I'm glad to hear that. You two are precious girls, I want to make sure neither of you is getting hurt."
"Thank you, Indra." Clarke began to wipe the surface of the bar before she opened her mouth to continue. She closed it immediately, but Indra looked at her curiously urging her to continue. "I would never hurt Lexa, but I feel she's been in a funk because of me. She hides it pretty well, but I know when she's feeling…off."
"How so?"
The blonde cleared her throat. "She doesn't say it, but I know the more I hear back from business connections, the more she thinks about her writing and the her publishing company."
Indra nodded in realization, understanding what she meant. "You're concerned she's hurting because of the recent developments in your career." She stated rather than asked.
Clarke was quick to nod. "She's been working so hard, and I feel she might resent me if she keeps hitting roadblocks while I climb up the proverbial ladder."
Genuinely invested in the girl's concern, Indra nodded. "It could happen, I won't say it can't, but it is up to both of you to support one another in every endeavor. Perhaps talking to her about it might set you at ease."
It was easier said than done, Clarke thought as she mulled over the older woman's words. It was a sensitive subject that she didn't really feel like bringing up to Lexa. It was uncomfortable for anyone in such a situation, even if they did have a great relationship built on honesty and trust.
When she realized she hadn't acknowledged Indra's counsel, the girl nodded with a heavy sigh. "You're right. It's just uncomfortable to bring it up, you know. If I don't, then I'm not considerate enough to let her know I stand behind her. And if I do, I might come off as a condescending douche." She groaned softly as she dissected her dilemma out loud.
The pair remained silent until the door opened and in walked the object of Clarke's worry.
Taking the girl's entrance as her cue to leave, Indra stood with a soft smile. "You can do it. Good luck, honey."
Blue eyes locked on green ones as they moved closer. Smiling widely, Clarke set the cleaning supplies down and feigned complete composure as her stomach flipped with anxiety.
"How did it go? Was your writing session a success?" Clarke asked as she reached out to grab the brunette's hand under the counter once she was close enough.
Lexa pouted before she responded. "You didn't have to leave you know." She squeezed the girl's hand.
A short shrug later, Clarke replied. "You were in the zone. I didn't want to disturb you." She admitted.
The brunette smiled. "Thanks." She squeezed her hand again. "Next time, stick around; I might need you for inspiration." She continued with an honest expression.
"Do you remember when you insinuated I was a distraction?" Clarke smiled coyly and Lexa nodded with a grin as she recalled that conversation. "I was doing so well with not being one; you're going to break my streak."
They shared a small laugh before Lexa pulled on her girlfriend's hand. "I'm still pretty good at writing and avoiding distractions. Besides, you're my favorite person to get distracted with." She flirted.
The temperature in the space rose by a few degrees as they stared hungrily at each other. "If I don't walk away Indra is going to fire us for having sex on this counter." Clarke whispered as they moved in just an inch closer.
Lexa's throat bobbed as she swallowed. She nodded, but she refused to budge.
A clearing of a throat surprised the pair and they sighed in unison with a hint of annoyance. Clarke was the first to step back reluctantly, but grateful in some part for the disruption because it was certain she and Lexa were close to disrobing in public.
"You two love birds about done there?" Octavia teased with a straight face. When they didn't reply she rolled her eyes. "You two are gross." Her delivery was dry, but she allowed a small grin to escape her lips. "I actually wanted to talk to you Lex," She paused. "About Lincoln." The smaller brunette continued. "Do you have some time before we open up shop?"
Lexa nodded. "Sure." She kissed Clarke's cheek quickly before following her friend out the alley door.
Clarke's smile disappeared as the queasiness in her stomach reemerged. She was still concerned about her girlfriend, and she still didn't really want to bring it up. It worried her even more when she thought that through. What kind of a girlfriend doesn't want to talk to her partner about something as important as this? Was she a bad girlfriend? Was she just a bad person period?
She shook her head in an attempt to vanish her thoughts, but as she resumed cleaning Lexa's work space, she realized there was no way she could escape her worries. Not until she did something about them.
Lexa sat in her usual loveseat as she typed away furiously on her laptop.
She had succeeding in completing another section of her story before her girlfriend knocked on her door, gave her a quick kiss, and sat at her easel to paint.
It had been a gift, and she insisted the blonde should come over and paint whenever she needed a change in scenery. Clarke wasted no time in treating Lexa's as an escape from 'artist's block', and it was an added incentive that she inevitably wound up sleeping in the brunette's bed those nights.
The girls worked quietly, with the sounds of keys clicking and bristles scraping being the only sounds circling in the living room.
Well, save for the sporadic chiming coming from Clarke's phone, those were the only sounds.
After an hour of almost-silence and concentration, Lexa finally sighed and stretched in place. She had made enough progress to reward herself so she stood to collect a couple of beers for them.
When she handed the bottle to the blonde, she waited beside her until Clarke looked at her. The girl's eyes locked on hers in question.
"You work so hard you can't hear your phone?" Lexa teased, but the chime had grown somewhat annoying.
Clarke looked down and over to her phone with a dismissive glance. After some time she shrugged. "I can check those later." She smiled, hoping that her girlfriend would take her answer and return to her work. Casually she sipped on her beer to continue on with her careless appearance regarding the message alerts, but she was not surprised when Lexa stood rooted in place.
The brunette's eyebrows rose up to her hairline in question. "What's going on, Clarke?" She finally managed in between the silence and a sip of her beer.
Sparing another casual shrug, Clarke shook her head in response. "Nothing, babe." She lied. "Listen, I'm getting a bit tired from staring at this." She pointed to the unfinished painting. "How would you like to go out tonight? My treat."
Lexa suspected her girlfriend had just changed the subject to avoid whatever might be going on in her head, and she wanted to pry, but she sighed in defeat and nodded. "Sure. Take me out on a date I'll never forget." She smiled despite the uneasy feeling that flooded her.
Clarke exhaled subtly, grateful that Lexa had chosen to abandon the questioning. She really didn't want to continue on with the discussion. Because she knew if Lexa found out she was avoiding texts and emails from Mr. Harwood, Anthony, and other art aficionados, she would want to know why. And Clarke was still not sure how to tell Lexa that all she wanted was to avoid hurting her, and not flaunt her growing list of connections and potential roads to success.
Still, the artist couldn't help but feel that eventually it would all come back to haunt her. What was the saying? 'No good deed goes unpunished'? Lexa would know it for sure, but she was not about to ask.
Their date started off without a hitch as they ate at their diner. It had been some time since they last sat in their booth to enjoy some greasy foods, so they were equally content to be digging into their burgers and fries.
Waitresses came and went as they ate in comfortable silence, but soon the girls found themselves fully satiated and in need of conversation to divert their attention from their bloated stomachs.
Lexa expressed her satisfaction with a small smile before she spoke. "We can't go this long without eating here because this is what happens when we do. We overdo it and stuff ourselves." She shook her head while the blonde chuckled with a nod.
"Agreed." Was Clarke's reply. "Hey so I've been meaning to ask you, what did Octavia want to talk about the other day?"
The brunette sighed. "Lincoln's exes. For some reason she thinks of me as his keeper even though she's known him just as long as I have."
Clarke hummed with interest- juicy gossip about her friends. That was something she could get behind at the moment. "Please continue." She urged with a grin.
Responding with a small incredulous head shake, Lexa continued. "She's falling in love with Linc, but she wanted to know her feelings weren't being wasted on just anybody."
"That's ridiculous." Clarke shook her head. "Lincoln is such a sweet honest guy. Totally worth it, in my opinion."
Lexa raised her eyebrows at her girlfriend. "Oh yeah?"
The other girl rolled her eyes with a smile. "He's a good guy. Handsome. Anybody would be lucky to have him."
"Really?" The brunette continued to tease.
"Shut up." Clarke replied with a smirk. "We both know I only have eyes for you." She batted her eyelashes in jest.
"That's what I thought." That was her girlfriend's comeback before they shared a laugh.
"Anyway, are you ready to head out? I kind of wanted to take you somewhere else after dinner."
Nodding her head, Lexa stood. Clarke was quick to leave some cash on the table to cover their meal and the tip before the brunette could beat her to it. The brunette glared playfully at her, but took her hand in hers to walk out after.
When they arrived to their destination, Lexa knitted her brows in curiosity. Of all the places she thought they would end up, the entrance before her was definitely not one of them.
"Clarke, why are we at the Hollywood Temple?" She asked in a questioning tone and matching expression.
The blonde's smile fell immediately as she realized her girlfriend knew where they were. "You know of this place?" She asked with a disappointed look. "Of course you do. You've lived here for a while." She answered her own question before grunting at her failure to impress the brunette.
"Whoa." Lexa pulled on the girl's hand to show her appreciation at the attempt. "Hey, that doesn't mean that I don't want to go in. Or that I know why you chose this place for part two of our date."
Though she still felt disappointed, Lexa's words pacified her. Squeezing the girl's hand she opened the gate and walked them inside. "Obviously you know who Aldous Huxley is." Clarke began after a short quiet walk along the path between the green grasses.
She nodded. "He wrote Brave New World and a few screenplays." Lexa added.
"That's right." Clarke admonished. "He even helped to write the screenplay for Jane Eyre." She smiled when the writer looked at her proudly. "When we first met you asked for my tale of woe. I was not familiar with what you were referring to, but I played it off."
"Poorly, but yeah." Lexa teased.
"Jerk." Clarke pushed her with her shoulder. "Anyway, not long after that I actually bought the book. Great novel." She added with a proud smile of her own. "I finished it in less than a week."
"Nice." The brunette nodded. "So why are we here?" She smiled curiously, her mind working quickly in an attempt to piece everything together.
Clarke smiled in return. "Huxley was known to come here often. Mostly for meditation purposes, but he would visit a small kiosk and sit to write every now and then."
Lexa raised her brows in astonishment. Clearly she was not privy to that information, and the fact that Clarke had taken interest in this aspect of her life made her grateful and happy. "I had no idea." She admitted to her girlfriend. "That's neat." The blonde smiled victoriously.
They remained quiet for a while as they made their way deeper into the gardens that surrounded the main building.
Their hands were laced as Clarke led them to one of the kiosk buildings that house several small cement benches inside. "Not the most comfortable probably, but this could be a nice spot to write." The blonde suggested as she sat on the bench, pulling Lexa down with her.
Lexa smiled despite the growing curiosity that nagged in the back of her mind. When neither girl said anything after a few minutes, the brunette finally spoke. "This is a nice place, Clarke. And I love that you took the time to show me it, but why?"
"Why what?" Clarke asked with knitted brows.
Giving her a small shrug, Lexa sighed. "I can write at home. Why would I come here? Why is this even coming up?"
Clarke realized her girlfriend was more curious than she had hoped she would be. "You offered your place to me as a way to escape the mundane surroundings I could get caught up in. It helps with my art. I figured this could be a place for you to escape to when you need more inspiration than I can provide. I know we work together a lot, and that might cramp your efforts at times." She responded, cautiously avoiding the other part of her reasoning. "This place has a deep connection with writing, with a great mind that created amazing work with his words."
Lexa nodded, accepting the blonde's response despite the feeling in her stomach that she still hid something from her.
They sat around for a while, enjoying the night under the gazebo, listening to the cars and people that passed by on the other side of the gate.
"You know," Lexa cleared her throat before she continued. Clarke faced her with an attentive glance. "You don't bother me. If that's what this is all about." She paused to look at blonde, who in turn sat still with an apologetic smile. "But I've continued to work on that story I could never finish, and I might seem frustrated from time to time. I just want you to know it has nothing to do with you." The blonde flashed her a small smile, feeling guilty about letting her girlfriend make this about that rather than Clarke's own concerns. "Anyway, thank you for pushing me back towards it. I've been avoiding it for a while, but I'm glad I'm back on it."
Clarke nodded. "Of course. But that's all you. I've done nothing to help. And I'm sorry about that. Really. If there's anything I can do with that, let me know Lexa." She moved to squeeze her hand and was pleased when Lexa interlaced their fingers.
The writer nodded. "If I say that your spending the night at my place helps, would you do it more often?" She teased with a hooded grin.
Ignoring the sudden irregular beat of her heart, Clarke smiled in return albeit reservedly. "What are you really asking, DC?"
Swallowing the lump in her throat, and heaving a sigh, Lexa looked seriously at her girlfriend. She shook her head, not knowing whether she should voice what she was really thinking. On second thought, she knew she wanted to ask Clarke, so she did. "I don't know, I was thinking that maybe you could move back in. I mean, if you want. No pressure." Lexa managed to stammer through her thoughts and waited nervously for Clarke to react.
A million thoughts crossed the artist's mind. One of which was how much she really enjoyed living with Lexa. Of course it had been before they had moved forward in their relationship, and perhaps it would be vastly different now that they were officially a couple, but the thought excited her.
Another thought though, one that unfortunately cast a shadow on current elation, was that of their careers. The thought of moving in with Lexa, only to move out because one or both of them couldn't deal with the successes and or failures involved, made her breathe unsteadily.
She hoped Lexa couldn't tell.
Her next words would have to be very carefully chosen.
TBC…
We have some uncertainty brewing between our couple, but is their relationship strong enough to withstand it? What do you guys think- will Clarke bring up her concerns to Lexa? Will she move in? Hopefully our girls can get on the same page before trouble comes knockin'.