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With trembling hands, he took her wrist and placed her hand on the left side of his chest. Her fingers could feel his left heart beating extremely slowly under his skin. She looked at him, worried. Then he moved her hand again, to the right side of his torso. Clara could feel nothing there. She moved her hand, but she found nothing, no beating.
"Oh my God…you only have one heart working, and it's arrhythmic!"
Chapter 21: A monkey with two hands
Clara wasn't sure what to say or do. All she could manage was to hold him. The girl knew he was in pain, and he was doing a very good job covering it up. She took his hand in hers, and sighed in relief when he responded.
"Tell me what to do," she said, caressing his hand. "Tell me how to help you."
"You can't." His weak whisper was like a taunting cut to her soul. She could feel the pain in his voice like it was her own.
"Can't I?" she said, frustrated. "If you're thinking giving up is the best option, try remembering this…don't tell me what I can't do, because if I really want something bad enough, there's nothing, nothing, that is able to sway me. Do you understand?"
"I already know that." The Doctor closed his eyes. "But I don't want you to…"
"What?" she interrupted him. "To do what I must to save your life?"
"I don't want you to risk your life trying to get the supplies to save mine."
"Doctor, I would do anything for you."
"That's the problem." With too much effort, he moved his head to look at her, with an expression she did not understand. "Clara, if something happens to you…" He didn't finish the sentence, instead looking at her, puzzled because she was smiling.
"You're lovely when you're drugged. And don't worry; I already brought some medical supplies. Just tell me what you need."
"A shot of adrenalin to stimulate my cardiovascular system."
Carefully, she placed his head on the floor and reached into the backpack. She started to get all the medical supplies, placing them on the floor. "Come on, come on…" She looked for the one she needed.
Her hands found the gun inside the backpack, and she threw it away angrily. Just when she was losing hope, a syringe appeared which read: Adrenaline. "Thank God."
She ran to the Doctor's side. "Ok. I have it. Now what?"
The Doctor took a deep breath before answering. "You have to inject it."
She nodded, taking his arm but he tried to push her away.
"No…too slow. You've to inject it directly into my working heart."
"What?!"
"My right heart is lost. You have to keep 'lefty' beating. Just inject it between my fourth and fifth ribs."
With her fingers, she touched his bare skin looking for the exact point in his thorax. It was easy to find. She held the syringe firmly with her other hand. Before doing anything, Clara looked at the Doctor, who just nodded weakly.
Quickly, she raised her arm, but at the last moment, she hesitated. What if it didn't work? After all, it was his only working heart.
"I can't do it," she realized aloud.
"It's easy."
"What if I don't do it right? What if I puncture a vital organ? What if I…kill you?" Her face was horrified with the idea.
"Even a monkey with two hands could do it."
Her fingers were trembling uncontrollably while she was still holding the barrel of the syringe.
"Oh Clara, you're the most useless companion who ever walked inside the Tardis."
She looked at him, surprised.
"If you don't know how to use your hands, or cooking, or telling bad jokes, what is the point of keeping you on board?"
And that was it. An excruciating pain in his chest made him to shut up and almost forget how to breathe.
"What...have…you done!" he said with the last of the air in his lungs, aware that the needle was already inside him. Clara pressed the plunger, emptying its contents directly into his heart.
In one swift movement, she pulled out the syringe and threw it away carelessly. Then he gasped desperately for air, as his chest burned inside him.
Seeing that he was having trouble breathing, she quickly laid him on his side, holding his head in her lap, and eased any discomfort he may have been feeling. "Breathe in, that's it…" She checked his pulse, pressing her fingers against his neck. It was fast; far quicker than it had been when she checked it before. "Keep breathing out."
"It…hurts," he managed to whisper.
"It's ok. You're alive. That's all that matters," she told him as she kept embracing him.
She didn't know what to do, so she prayed for his left heart to slow down a bit.
After a few minutes of silence, she looked down at his face. His eyes were closed but she knew he was awake, because his hand didn't let go of her own. Her fingers were still checking his pulse. Fortunately, his working heart was beating strongly at a normal pace then.
"Doctor, it's all right," she said, rubbing her thumb softly over his neck.
"No it's not," he said without opening his eyes "You little Dalek…you…actually…stabbed me!"
"Well…you compared me to a monkey."
"Yes, because I thought that if I made you angry with me, it would be easier for you to inject it." His eyes opened tiredly. "But you...you…stabbed me!" he repeated incredulously.
"It worked."
"No, this is a temporary fix. It'll only last until the adrenaline dilutes. I need to go to the medical bay of the Tardis."
It was her heart which felt stabbed at the mention of his ship. Her arms slightly loosened around his body. He could feel her fear.
"Clara, don't worry. All I need is in the Tardis. We just need to get in there. The sooner the better."
Her eyes became blurry and she turned her head, avoiding looking at him. She didn't know how to tell him the truth. How to tell him that…she'd betrayed him.
Even through his glassy eyes, he could see that something was wrong.
"There are three things I can't stand in this universe. First, Daleks, easy to guess. Secondly, bitter coffee. I can't understand why anybody could drink that. And C, no wait. Third. Your inflated eyes. They're extremely unpleasant."
She rubbed them. Trying to prepare to face the Doctor. "The Tardis…she isn't here."
"Oh. And how did you come here? Did you come alone?" he asked uneasily.
"No." Her hands tensed. "John came with me."
"And where is he now? How dare that ape leave you alone?! I'm going to have some words with that cupcake brain… he's so fired."
"Doctor…" She looked at the wall, ashamed. "…he's dead"
Silently, she felt his gaze fixed on her. "Tell me what happened."
"I…can't," the girl said, scared. And then, she broke down in tears.
"Clara?" His concern was increasing as her head buried into his chest, hiding her face.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, sobbing against him. "…So, so sorry," she repeated again. "Everything it's my fault. John's dead and then, the Tardis, I swear that I didn't want to…but I just…oh, God." Her grip on him tightened, afraid to let him go.
"Oh Clara, what have you done?" he whispered nervously.
It was time to tell him the truth.
"Doctor, I told the shapeshifter where the Tardis was."
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