PART FORTY FIVE

CRAIG

We walk in and straight away i notice how packed it is. The blokes outnumber the girls about six to one which is to be expected considering the sort of place this is. We manage to grab a table on the upper tier but directly in front of the stage and i rubbed my hands together in anticipation. I've never been to a strip club, i was hoping Jake might go to one for his stag do but it didn't pan out.

John Paul got up to get the drinks in and i surveyed my surroundings. I was a bit surprised that there wasn't a pole on the stage and that the chairs didn't exactly look like the sort you might sit at for a dance. It was probably my own fault for assuming that things you see on the telly are like that in real life, besides there were probably private booths in the back or something.

John Paul came back with the drinks, vodka and cokes again, and sat down. He didn't seem too unhappy about being here, which i was glad about. If he had hated it or said he wanted to leave i wouldn't have stuck around either. I leaned back in my chair, clasping my hands behind my head and sighed. Ah, this was the life.

This was just the kind of distraction i needed to take my mind off other things. There were a few other pairs at the table and i smiled as i cast my eyes around them. They all seemed to be in couples, holding hands and talking intimately, whispering in each others ears. I looked at John Paul to see if he'd noticed that all the couples seemed to be of the same sex.

Two blokes sat directly opposite us and they were holding hands and gazing into each others eyes as if they were the only ones in the room. One of them kept leaning right into his friend and whispering into his ear. At least i think he was whispering, he was getting really close, he could've had his tongue stuck in there for all i know. I had a passing thought that it was a strange place for two gay blokes to come to but then i figured i'd brought John Paul so....

Then there was a couple in their late twenties. The bloke kept casting furtive glances around. He didn't look comfortable but then neither would i, coming to a lap dancing venue with my girlfriend. She was rubbing his leg as if to reassure him.

Lastly there were a couple of girls. They didn't look much older than us and although attractive, they didn't appeal to me. It was probably a good job because the way the red head just stuck her tongue down her mates throat, i don't reckon i'd have been in luck anyway.

Then of course there was me and John Paul. I cleared my throat, dragging my gaze away from the two girls necking next to me and he nudged me inclining his head towards the two blokes. They seemed to have taken the girls lead and were groping each other with abandon.

"I dare ou to tell the to get a oom" he said above the noise. I looked at him my brows wrinkled.

"What?". He leaned in closer and cupped the back of my neck, which sent a thrill down my spine.

"I said, i dare you to tell them to get a room". He spoke louder and leaned back grinning when he saw my eyes flick from one couple to the other.

"No way!" i giggled. There was something a bit odd about this place i thought as i looked around more closely. It wasn't the fact that there were loads of men, it was that most of them seemed to be paired up. Before i had chance to think anything else, the lights dimmed and a woman walked onto the stage.

F*ck me, she was tall. I looked her up and down, taking in the floor length, red sequined gown, stilettos and fire engine red lipstick. She was a bit too old for my taste and seemed over confident but she had the longest legs i'd ever seen and they were peeking through the slit in her dress that went all the way up to her hip.

She walked up to the microphone and bold as brass introduced herself as Betty Legs Diamond, which for some reason earned her a round of applause and wolf whistles from the crowd. Personally i didn't see what the big deal was. Yeah so, she had nice legs but her voice was well rough, not like the girls i know, and she came across as cocky and a bit arrogant.

I turned to John Paul to see what he thought and was surprised to see him looking right at me, his head resting in his hand, a smile toying at his lips.

"What are you grinning at?". I don't know why but i got the impression he was laughing at me.

"Nothing" the smile got even bigger so i turned my back on him, facing the dark haired woman on stage. I knocked the vodka back and plastered a smile on my face to show John Paul just how happy i was to be here. He snorted and i rolled my eyes. Honestly, he could be so childish sometimes.

Another very tall woman walked on stage, giving a jaunty wave. She was introduced as DJ Zoe and if it was possible, she had even longer legs than the other one. She was wearing a thigh length black cocktail dress, over the knee patent leather boots and had massive blond hair. There was something about her that i couldn't put my finger on though and i wondered if i'd seen her before. John Paul snorted behind me again and i turned around to shoot him what i hoped was a withering look.

He chuckled. Flipping cheek. Seriously, someone should teach him some manners.

DJ Zoe took the microphone and again a tidal wave of applause broke out throughout the crowd.

"Welcome one and all, we have a fun filled line up for your enjoyment this evening" she said in a husky voice, raising a murmur from the audience. I dug John Paul in the ribs with my elbow, getting his attention.

"Shortly the lovely ladies will be coming on stage to dance and put on a show before we have a little fun and games with all of you". She swept her arm out gesturing towards the crowd. Hell yeah, i thought, i'll join in with that. I turned and said as much to John Paul. His reply was a raised eyebrow and what he probably figured was hidden smile. It was good that he wasn't being funny about us being here and if anything seemed to be enjoying himself even if it was at my expense.

The house lights went down and the stage lights lit up, flashing and dazzling and the music was turned back up as the girls danced on stage to the tune of 'It's raining men'. I watched for about a minute before it clicked.

"Oi, John Paul" i whispered as loud as i could. He didn't hear me so i leaned closer, talking right into his ear. "Some of those women are blokes you know". I sat back, waiting for his shocked response. I didn't get one.

"No Craig.....ALL of those women are blokes" He leaned back looking into my eyes, waiting for what he had said to register.

My gaze flicked back to the stage. Nah, not all of them, that one with the....oh wait....no...there's the adams apple, but that one.....nope....can see the chest hair....Sh*t. He was right, they were all men dressed as women.

I wanted to stand up in indignation. What the hell kind of a place was this? People getting their kicks watching blokes prancing around in sparkly dresses and thigh high boots. The look i shot John Paul said it all but he was too busy laughing at me to take any notice.

Bloody hell, snogging John Paul would have been better than this any day.

"It's a cabaret show" said John Paul taking pity on me.

"How long have you known" i asked unable to keep the consternation out of my voice.

"Babs told me before we came out". He grinned pointing at the stage, "reckon they might strip for you?" he started laughing again as i choked on my drink nearly spilling it down me.

"Pr*ck". I said. He rolled his eyes.

"D*ck". I rolled mine back.

"W*nker". He shook his head.

"Craig, you can be so childish sometimes" he said turning to face the stage again. That was it, now i really was in a mood. Cheeky sod, he started it.

I reached for the rest of my drink but it was all gone so i nicked his as well.

"Ready for another drink?" he seemed surprised, like he expected me to leave or something.

"Yeah, go on then, same again". He smiled and handed me his empty glass.