Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.
María then froze and lowered her gaze. "Yes," she mumbled, barely audible, not daring to look up. She could not remember being so embarrassed in her whole life. She focused on the bright part. "At least all cards are on the table now. She knows everything," and she felt better despite her embarrassment. So she locked eyes with Tami and voiced her main concerns. "I'm so sorry to bother you with this, but I feel like I need an outside perspective, preferably from an adult. And I trust you, Tami, I really do. And I'd prefer that my parents don't know about all this mess, at least for now."
Tami nodded. She was glad to see that María was coming back to her usual self. "Don't worry María, I'm here to listen and try and help you, and I won't tell your parents if this is just a matter of the heart, no matter how cheesy that sounds."
Definitely, she had made the right decision coming to Tami. "Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'm really worried that I'm being totally unfair to Tim. I thought that being with him would make those feelings for Billy go away. It was like building a wall, sort of having a shield, but that barrier is not working. And every time I see Billy it gets harder because I realize nothing has changed… I don't know…. maybe we should stop right now."
Tami nodded again. "I think you're right, María. Y'all should stop before any of you gets hurt. And, believe me, that's what usually ends up happening."
That sounded rational. "Yes, I think I've know that from the beginning, but I was too lonely, or too flattered to do it. It's funny because I took my time before getting involved with Tim, I really gave thought to it. Clearly my judgement was clouded…"
Tami tried to play it down, María was feeling bad enough. "Don't be so hard on you. Sometimes it is easy to look back and regret the choices we made, but maybe we had little room for manoeuvre back then given the circunstances. That's why it is so important to be able to react as soon as we realize it. We all make mistakes María, and we learn from them."
Suddenly Tami realized that maybe she could actually do something to make things easier for her. "María, would you like to stop tutoring Tim? It would not be a problem, we can…"
María strongly shook her head. "No, that's not a possibility, Mrs. Taylor. Tim has to graduate and we should not risk that. All this it's not his fault. And as I've told you before, he helps me focus." Tami loved that she was so generous, but she had a feeling María would not be comfortable studing with him if they had been so close. "Ok, just let me know if you change your mind."
"Will do." María took a deep breath. She should tell Mrs. Taylor about all her concerns. "There's another question that's bugging me. I am well aware that it is a crazy thought, but I'd like to share it with you, if you don't mind…"
"Sure, go ahead." Tami braced herself for impact. Right then she could not think of anything crazier than what they had just been discussing.
"It's just that… do you think I should tell Billy how I feel about him, before he gets married? On one hand, I think that if I don't do it, I'll always regret it, but, on the other hand, I don't think that there is the slightest chance that he feels something for me, so why tell him?"
"Well…" Tami did not know what to say to that. María laughed for the first time since she had started talking. "I told you it was crazy…"
"No, it's not. I hear you, I totally hear you, but I think both your points are right and there's no much I can add to that. Do you think you'd be comfortable telling him?" she asked seeking for some insight about their actual friendship.
María stopped to think for a moment. "I think I'd be, we've been close friends growing up. What really scares me is the possibility of losing him as a friend after I tell him. I'm not ready for that. I know that we are not close now and we lead completely different lives, but he's been the most important person in my life besides my parents and I'd rather not risk his friendship."
Tami clearly remembered both of them leaving the bar at the hotel the night before State, and how in sync they seemed to be. It was obvious for her that they shared a special connection, but she did not know Billy well enough and the last thing she wanted to do was to raise false hopes for María. She had been brave to come to her looking for advice and she wanted to do her best to help her. She did not need any more confusion, and the truth was that she had answered her question herself. "Well, María, I guess that answers your question."
María sighed again. "Yeah, I guess it does. Thanks, Mrs. Taylor."
"You're welcome, María, but I have to say I just helped you to speak it out loudly, I think you already knew what you have to do, regarding both Tim and Billy."
María shook her head. "No, seriously, thank you. You really helped me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get home, it's getting late."
Tami was glad to see that she was back to her usual self. "Of course, María. And please do not hesitate to come to me for anything you may need. Come on, I'll give you a ride home."
After a quiet drive through the streets of Dillon, Tami felt the need to add something when she pulled over at María's.
"Hey, María, just one more thing. I remember a superb speech given by a brilliant student who was made captain of the soccer team as soon as she came home after being away for three years, right before school started. She focused on the importance of giving more than your 100% every single day and remembering how far you have already come whenever you doubt yourself and wonder if you can go on. Does that ring a bell?"
María smiled and nodded. "It does. I can't believe you remember that…" she quickly answered, blusing.
"Oh, how could I forget it… Coach Taylor was speaking about your speech for weeks… Well, the girl that delivered that speech is right in front of me now. And I just want to let her know that she should not doubt herself, not at all, and, if she does, she has to remember how far she's already come. María, you've great qualities and you'll go places. Don't let all this make you forget who you are and what you really want."
María nodded again. "Thank you, Mrs Taylor," she managed to say with a lump in her throat.
She stayed at home all Sunday, claiming that she had to study algebra for the exam she had on the following day. She knew that Tim would be at the shop helping Billy with some cars, so they would not be studying together for once. But instead of studying, she spent most of the day rewinding her conversation with Tami the day before. By the time she had dinner with her parents, she was determined to break up with Tim, and the fact that she could barely hear her parents talk about Billy and Mindy removed any doubt as to it.
They had just sat down to eat when Sue suddenly started talking. "Hey, I almost forget to tell you that I run into Mindy Collette at the grocery's yesterday and she told me that she got engaged to Billy Riggins a few days ago. She was over the moon and she told me..."
"Who wouldn't be..." María sadly thought. She started playing with the food on her plate in an effort to avoid a conversation on that topic. But her father was apparently talking to her now. "Earth to María... sweetheart, are you alright? You seem to be a world away... " She raised her gaze from her plate and looked at Mac. She was not hungry anymore.
"Sorry, dad, I got distracted. What were you saying?" she asked hoping they had moved on another topic. "I was asking you if you knew about this. It's a big surprise..." They were still talking about Billy and Mindy. She tried to play it down.
"Not really dad, they have been going out for a while now...", but her mother was eager to share every detail the new bride-to-be had told her. "Mindy said they have just been together for five months. Isn't that romantic?" Sue chimed in. And now both her parents were looking at her. "Do they really want me to answer that?" "Yes, mom, it is," she softly replied.
"Sure it is. They are both good kids, I hope they have a long and happy life together," Mac said. Who would have guessed that Mac was a romantic at heart? And then Sue threw the bomb without knowing it. "And Mindy also told me the wedding will be in two months tops, and that we're all invited. Billy will bring the invitations as soon as they have a date."
It was getting worse every minute. Not only was she still getting used to the fact that Billy was marrying someone else, but she also had to attend the wedding. She managed to mumble something about studying for her exam, and asked if she could go to her room. As she left the table, Mac and Sue looked at each other. "You think she's okay?" he asked. Sue nodded smiling. "Yeah, I think so. She's just eighteen and in love, probably for the first time in her life." She was not all that far off the mark, but she had María's object of affection wrong, as she was sure it was Tim. "You think we should worry?" Mac questioned in a low voice. "No, if something was wrong I'm sure she would ask for help. She's just distracted," Sue said trying to reassure her husband despite being a little bit worried herself.
When María headed for her locker to get the books for her first class the following morning, she spotted Tim talking to some of his teammates at the end of the hallway. As soon as she saw him, she knew she had to tell him she wanted to break up with him right away. She was afraid that if she spent some time with him she would lack the courage to tell him afterwards. After her conversation with Tami on Saturday and long thought the previous day, she was positive it was the right thing to do, but she did not want to. So she decided to forego her Spanish class and went down the hallway as most of the students were heading for their classes. By the time she reached Tim's group, the hall was almost empty and he had fallen behind waiting for her.
"Hi boys," she greeted as she walked by them. Matt, Landry and Bradley said "Hi" and took off to their classes while Tim leant on the wall. "Hi," he said. María had a strange look on her face. "Everything all right, Mars?" he asked smiling mischievously. That was the kind of smile that drove her crazy so she grabbed his hand and dragged him along the corridor before he could something that would change her mind. "I have to talk to you."
"But we'll miss… not that I'm complaining but you…" he mumbled. María said nothing and quickly opened the door to the same utility closet they had been inside a few days ago, tugging his shirt while doing so and closing the door after him. Tim read it completely wrong, putting his hands on her waist, turning both of them around and pinning her against the door. When he kissed her and started undoing the bun on her hair, she felt her resolution fade, closed her eyes and held on the back his neck firmly as she kissed him back. And it took her all her self control to try and stop him when he was about to begin nibbling her collarbone.
"Timmy… I really need to talk to you…" she softly said. "Mmm-hmm, I'm listening," he whispered in her ear. "Not like this…" she managed to whisper. There was something in her tone that alarmed him, so he pulled back keeping his hands on her waist. He locked eyes with her and apologized. "Sorry, I thought… I'm all ears."
"It's ok, you don't have to apologize. It's just that… I think we should stop…" she said taking his hands in hers. He chuckled. "We've already stopped, Mars…" She shook her head and lowered her gaze fixing it on their intertwined fingers. When she looked up at him again and saw his true smile, she gulped and gently squeezed his hands. "That's not what I mean… we should stop… seeing each other like this…" she whispered and looked down again.
Tim shook his head in disbelief and let her hands go, cupping her face and making her look at him. "You breaking up with me?" "I guess I am," she replied, her voice barely audible. He caressed both her cheeks and softly asked, "That's what you want?" She placed her arms around his waist, leaning against his body. "No, I don't. But I do think we should." As soon as she said that, she hid her face on his chest and he hugged her, playing with her hair. "Because…" he trailed off.
"Because I'm being selfish, Timmy. This is not fair to you. I'm using you as a wall and it's not working…" He pulled back and cupped her face again. "I thought we were good together…""Oh, this is gonna be harder than expected," María thought to herself, closing her eyes. She could not hold his gaze; she dared that if she did, he would talk her out of breaking up just by looking at her with those wonderful eyes of his. She leant her forehead on his chest once more and took a deep breath. "Yeah, we are, great actually… but I can't help the way I feel about Billy and if we keep doing this we're gonna get hurt… It's not too late now…"
"Are you sure?" She nodded against the soft fabric of his t-shirt. "I am," she said trying to keep her voice steady. "Okay then, whatever you want." When she heard that, she raised her head. "I'm sorry, Timmy." He stepped back and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Me too." María did not know what to say next. "I guess this is it then." He shrugged. "Guess it is…"
"We should get going, we're gonna be very late," she said gathering her hair in a new bun. "You go, I don't feel like going to a boring class now…" She took his arm and led him to the door. "Come on, Timmy…" Very much to her surprise, he moved away when she touched his forearm. "It's not your business anymore, is it?" She tried to keep calm. "It's still my business as I hope you're still my friend and I'm still your tutor. Will you still give a ride home, or should I wait for my dad this afternoon?" she said crossing her arms on her chest by the door.
He realized he was being a jerk, and she did not deserve it. This was all his doing, he should have never gone after her knowing that she had feelings for Billy. Now he could see it clearly, but he was so desperate to forget Lyla and move on and he was so comfortable with María in every way that he just jumped in the deep end. That, and the fact that he really liked her. He was sure that he would have fallen for her easily if it was not for Lyla. "I will," he grunted.
"Thank you Timmy, see you later then." She opened the door and instead of going to her Spanish class, she went to the soccer locker room. She needed some time alone and that was the best place she could think of for that. If someone showed up, she could always say that she was there to get something. She sat on the bench beside her locker, placed her feet on the side of the bench, put her arms on her knees and rested her forehead on them. Tears began to silently fall from her eyes, and she let them flow until it was time for her algebra exam.
True to his word, that afternoon Tim was waiting for her by his truck as usual. They both said a shy "Hi" and the ride to María's was silent. When he pulled over in her driveway and she was about to open the passenger door he finally spoke for the first time. "Mars, wait up." She turned around and looked at him. "I'm sorry. Of course I'm still your friend and you're still my tutor." She smiled. "It's ok, Timmy, really."
"No, it's not. I should've never gone after you knowing what you feel for Billy." She tried to stop him from saying anything he could not take back later. Things were already complicated enough. "Timmy… don't…" Yet he went on. "But I really like you…"
She sighed. He definitely was not going to let it go. "I really like you, too Timmy. I guess all this got out of hand… Do you think we can go back to being just friends, close friends? I'd really like that…" He nodded. "I promised, remember?" "Yes. Come on, it's getting late. I've got tons of homework and so do you." And with that she hopped out the truck, hoping that her mother would be home so they would not have the chance to resume this conversation.
That night, while María was finally sleeping soundly for the first time in days, two people were thinking about her.
The first one was Tami, who had been thinking about María and their talk for the last two days. She had proved to be the best student and one of the best athletes in Dillon High, and Tami had thought from the minute she saw her again when she came back from Florida that she was caring, generous, sensible, humble and dealt with matters as an adult. So she was completely taken aback when María had shared with her this whole mess about Tim and Billy. Students shared with her all kind of stories when they sat down in her office, so she was used to stories like that, and much, much worse, but she never thought it would be María the one doing that.
Well, to be completely honest, she had to give María some credit. She had indeed dealt with it as an adult, as in the end she had sought for help and advice from an adult. Tami was very proud of her for that, not everyone would have done it. She wished her daughters would do the same given the case. And she had to be fair, too. Maybe Tami herself had played a part in the genesis of this mess pairing her up with Tim for tutoring. But Eric had insisted on it claiming there were longlife friends, and Tim had been doing much better than ever both at school and on the football field. No, she did not regret pairing them up. Even now, with everything that was going on, María would not stop tutoring him. That had to mean something.
She wished she could share all this with Eric, who was snoring by her side. He was having a hard time with all the school redistricting rumors and McCoys interference in the team ("Can you believe that he wants Wade Aikmen to call all the plays. Mac calls my plays! I made that clear to him…" he had worriedly shared with her earlier that evening), and she did not want to wake him up. She would not do it to tell him "I told you so and you did not listen to me", but to let him know that it was days like this when she could feel that her job could make a difference out there. And that she was very proud of María.
She was also trying to find a way to tell Sue that they should take pride in the way their daughter dealt with matters. She had told María that she would not tell her parents about this whole mess with Tim and Billy, and she was determined to honor that, but she wanted to let Sue know that they could sleep soundly at night, they had raised her well. She was certain that as a mother she would like to know that if it was Julie instead of María. But she was really finding it difficult to convey that without betraying María's trust or scaring Sue for nothing.
The other person thinking about María late that night was Billy, which was nothing new. Mindy had been working that evening and he was home when Tim arrived much earlier than usual. After extended pleas on his part and at least five bottles of beer (Billy had not seen him driking like that for a long time), Tim had told him that he had not stayed at the McGills' for dinner because María had broken up with him.
"Can you believe it, Billy, only two weeks and we were great…" he managed to slur. "I'm sorry, man…" He did not know what else to say. On one hand he was relieved that he would no longer be jealous of his own brother, but on the other he thought that if she had to be with someone, he preferred that at least it was Timmy. He felt it was kind of sick, but he was certain Tim would never hurt her.
"And you know what the worst thing is? I promised her we'd be still friends if it didn't work…" Tim was not only disappointed, but he seemed to be worried, too. "And now you don't know if you'll be able to do that…" Billy trailed off. "Exactly…" "Well, Timmy, time to man up. It's María, remember? No matter what happened between you two, I think she deserves you make the effort," Billy said before finishing his beer in one sip.
More than three hours and a few more beers had gone by after that conversation, and Billy could not sleep. Sure he was drunk, but there was something that did not add up in Tim and María's breakup. What reason could María have to break up with him after only two weeks, when they knew each other so well? Tim seemed to be really disappointed, and something was off with María when he saw her at the Taylors' on Saturday. "What's going on with her? Is she all right?"
When María woke up the following morning, she felt like if a heavy burden had been taken off her shoulders. Of course she was worried about Tim and his reaction to the breakup, but she was confident they could be friends again. They just needed some time, and she was determined to enjoy the last part of her senior year, Tim or not Tim around.
In the end it took Tim a couple of weeks to go back to being just friends with María, but what really made the trick was that he was on speaking terms with Lyla again. Well, more than just speaking terms, and he was looking forward to sharing it with María. He just blurted it out one afternoon while they were writing their English papers. "I was with Lyla last night," he said looking at her waiting for her reaction. María looked up from her assignment and smiled. "Really?" "Yeah" he mumbled while writing another word. Seeing her smile had made him happy and he was looking down trying to hide his big grin. "And? That's all you have to say? Timmy, that's huge… I'm so happy for you." And from then on everything seemed to be back to normal.
At the same time Tami sought for María's help regarding Prom. Preparations were starting soon and as she had told her before, she could use her help, so María immersed herself in all kind of arrangements for a dance she did not intend to attend. Althought not looking forward to Prom itself at all, she did welcome the chance to be as busy as possible, as her former resolution to enjoy the rest of her senior year was fading as days went by. The truth was that she felt miserable, and in that state of mind it was really difficult to enjoy anything. Even worse, pleople around her were noticing it and she was getting a little bit tired of saying "Don't worry, I'm fine" to her parents and Tim. She was beginning to sound like a long playing record, and spending time with Tami in her office discussing music, flowers and arrangements for the school gym suddenly seemed the best possible plan to her.
While she had never intended to go to Prom despite all the work she was putting into it, she came close to actually going as Bradley asked her to be his date. It was so unexpected that it caught her completely off guard. One minute she was heading for soccer practice and the next Bradley was shyly telling her that he would be thrilled if she agreed to be his date for Prom with a big smile on his face.
He noticed her hesitating and it gave him strength to insist, as he was really expecting a "no" in the first place. "Please María, think about it. Don't need an answer right now, but I'd like it to be a yes. Let me know," he softly said turning around.
"No, wait." She did not want to make the same mistake again. "Bradley, as I told you before, under different circumstances I wouldn't hesitate to be your date for Prom. I'd really be honored. I know you're a great guy. But I just can't right now."
He nodded, remembering their conversation just before State. "That guy still on your mind?" he softly asked. "Yeah." She did not want to elaborate and he misunderstood it. "Listen, María, I know Riggs and Lyla are together again. If it's him, I really don't mind…" Most girls in Dillon High had a crush on Tim Riggins. He certainly would not mind.
"No, it's not him, Bradley. I'm sorry, I just can't." That was all she was going to share with him. "Ok, if you change your mind you know where to find me," he said. "Thank you, Bradley." María could see that he was still smiling, sadly this time, before turning around, and she felt bad again.
Yet María was not the only one feeling miserable, Billy was, too, aggravated by the fact that he should be ecstatic planning his own wedding. But he kept pushing back all kind of arrangements and making up excuses in order not to set a date yet. While Mindy was beginning to sense that something was off, he felt trapped in a life he did not want anymore.
All of a sudden beer seemed to be too weak and he had moved on on stronger stuff like whiskey or gin, taking it whenever he had the chance. Knowing that he had to stop the heavy drinking he had been doing for the last few months and in an effort to deal with that by keeping himself busy, he had decided to keep the car shop opened through the weekends. Mindy had been mad at him for it, claiming that they would barely had a chance to spend time together if he worked on the weekends too, but he had managed to convice her that otherwise they would not be able to afford the kind of wedding she wanted.
And he was working on the shop one Saturday afternoon when Tom Clance, one of his former classmates in Dillon High, parked by the main entrance. They had been close growing up, as Tom had also been a Panther, but he went to college and they had lost contact until he had recently come back home to help his father run his business.
"Hey Riggins, thank you for taking my car today on such a short notice. Really appreciate it, man. I had completely forgotten about the oil change until today, and I'm heading for Houston on Monday," Tom said shaking Billy's hand.
"Hey Clance, sure. You'll have it ready for that. I'll give you a call." Billy knew that Mindy would be angry if he had to do overtime to take care of Tom's car, but he was not going to let him down. Business was finally on its way to actually making some money and the fact that they were open on weekends was really making a difference.
"That's great, man. That's sad about Mac, isn't it?"
Billy did not have a clue what Tom was talking about. "Mac?"
"Seriously, you haven't heard? I thought you'd know you being friends with his daughter and all…" He could not believe Billy did not know. Mac's daughter and he used to be thick as thieves. Tom could clearly remember how they would be together almost everywhere: at the range, at Mac's house when he hosted his barbeques and when the team captains would go over to watch some game tapes,… Unlike other teenagers, Billy did not seem to be bothered by the little girl. In fact, it was obvious for everyone that he liked her company, which was funny considering his reputation as a flirtatious tough football player when he was in high school. Billy was not aware of it then, but he won his way to a few girls' hearts when they noticed the way he would be with María when she was around.
"What's going on with Mac, Clance?" Billy worriedly asked, fearing for his answer. If it was something bad, it would hit María directly.
"He suffered a stroke early this morning. Apparently he collapsed on his backyard and his daughter found him. It's said that she saved his life by dragging him all the way to the car and driving him to the hospital. Doctors are sure he would have not made it should have they waited for the ambulance. He's in critical condition. I'm sorry Riggs, I hate to be the one breaking the news…"