A little while after Meredith left the lounge, Arizona was still not sure about what she was feeling. It was a mix of sadness and angst, but also relief. She wanted Meredith more than she ever could express with words, but the feeling of not being fair to anyone involved in this was too much for her to bear. April entered the room and found Arizona on the couch, with red eyes as if she has been crying.
"Hey, are you ok?" – April asked, worried.
"I'll be" – Arizona answered, with a tiny smile, trying to get the best out of that situation.
"What happened?" – April asked, sitting across her friend.
"We broke up again. Meredith broke up with me a few minutes ago" – Arizona said, cleaning her eyes and drying the few tears that were still insisting on falling.
"Why? What happened? You two seemed fine in the morning" – April was confused.
"We had a fight over who was going to use the OR first and it turned out to be something bigger" – Arizona explained vaguely, making April shrug.
"What? Care to elaborate for me? Because that doesn't make any sense" – April said, confused.
"Because of this silly dispute over the OR, she said that I always think every pregnant woman involved in a car accident is as bad as Callie was with Sofia that time. And I was furious about it so we got into a fight. And in the end, she said it's better if we stay apart until I talk to Sofia about us, instead of being together, making me feel guilty and blaming it on her afterwards" – Arizona explained, trying hard not to cry again.
"Well, I can't say I disagree with her" – April said, making Arizona throw a deadly look at her immediately.
"April! You were supposed to be my friend!" – Arizona exclaimed.
"I am! But you are a big idiot! You two are ridiculously in love and you're afraid of your seven-year-old daughter! That girl doesn't even put on a shoe on without sharing it with you, that's how much she admires you. You just need to come clean with her, explain it better and that's it. Even if it's not right away, she WILL come along. But you're avoiding this and I know you better." – April said.
"April, Sofia already expressed she doesn't want this to happen. I know I need to approach her differently but right now she's listening to Callie letting her know she's moving to Italy. She had enough, I won't push my relationship down through my daughter's throat" – Arizona exclaimed.
"You're not the one leaving, you're not the one changing anything, Arizona. Ant yet you're doing another sacrifice to protect Callie's image. You will end up resenting Sofia unconsciously when you start to miss Meredith" – April pointed.
"I already miss her, April. It's not my daughter's fault" – Arizona explained.
"It's not anyone's fault, Arizona. You are so used to get the blame for everything because you had this type of relationship with Callie. If you decide to move to Africa, you're the one to blame. If you decide to come back, it's also your fault that now you will have a completely different life with a baby coming. I'm not saying you shouldn't have accepted the things that happened in your life, but you still need to find someone guilty at every step of the way, and usually ends up being you the one to blame. Talk to Sofia. Now!" – April insisted.
"April, it's not that easy. I want to, more than everything, to do things right" – Arizona said but April interrupted her abruptly.
"Then do it! Meredith had to get things right inside her head, too. She started to date a woman, a colleague, she did the outing of you guys in here, she had to deal with all of this. All you need to do is get things right with your daughter, and you need to do this now. so you can go get your love back. Because I'm telling you from experience, people don't wait for us forever. They just don't" – April said and Arizona knew she was referring to Jackson and how hard it was for her when their marriage ended.
Somehow April's words entered Arizona's mind and made the blonde doctor reflect on them. She needed to find a way of putting Sofia above everything but making sure that wouldn't mean unhappiness for her. That was the premise that made Arizona let Sofia move to NY with Callie in the first place. Both of them deserved to be happy, and Sofia needed two happy moms. Right now, it seemed that they were all miserable. Sofia deserves better. Arizona deserves better, too.
Sofia would only come home the next night and until then, Arizona had her empty large bed all over again. She understood Meredith's reasons, but the blonde surely missed her girlfriend waking up by her side. She thought about texting Meredith, but she knew it wouldn't be fair. She just needed to get through one more night.
Meanwhile, Meredith was quite sad inside her house, not really paying attention to Ellis' funny faces. Zola was the first one to notice how distant her mom was.
"What's wrong, mom? You seem sad" – Zola asked.
"Nothing's wrong, sweetie, don't worry" – Meredith answered, trying not to get her daughter worried.
"Is it Arizona?" – Zola insisted.
"Why are you saying that?" – Meredith tried to gain some time, she knew her daughter was smart enough to realize what was going on.
"Because she's not coming here anymore and I think you miss her" – Zola said, making Meredith's eyes fill with tears.
"You're right, honey. I do miss her. But she needs to work some things out and so do I. I don't even know if you guys are ok with this" – Meredith opened her heart to Zola.
"We love her, too, mom. Do you remember you always say we should share our problems so we can work it out together with you? I think you should do the same, work it out with her" – Zola suggested, making Meredith hug her tight, emotional.
"You're right, baby girl. You're so right" – Meredith said and the little girl smiled.
Later, after the kids were all in bed, Meredith was reading inside her room and she heard a knock on the door. When she looked up, she saw Amelia's face, motioning if she could get in.
"Come in" – Meredith smiled at her sister.
"How are you? Maggie said you weren't fine earlier" – Amelia asked, sitting beside Meredith.
"I decided to take a break with Arizona, and just got schooled by my 8-year-old daughter" – Meredith said, laughing.
"What happened?" – Amelia asked, with a sad feature.
"She won't ever be fine until she's sure Sofia is fine and happy. And now Callie's moving away, so Arizona thinks Sofia is already handling so much right now. I can't be in the middle of this, and I can't stand the distance when I'm not sure whether it's going to change or not" – Meredith explained.
"I think I would do the same, Mer. But I know she likes you, so much. I've never seen her so happy like she is whenever she says your name. I think she'll work out things with Sofia soon enough. Don't let this hit you. You will find a way together" – Amelia said, hopeful.
"I hope you're right, but I'm not a fan of keeping my hopes high, I've seen this before" – Meredith said, in her dark usual way.
"You never saw this with Arizona. Have a little faith, sister" – Amelia said, kissing Meredith's head and leaving the room.
Still fighting her own mind instead of sleeping, Arizona got scared when her phone rang loudly. She felt that tiny hope it might be Meredith, but as soon as she picked the phone on her nightstand, she saw her mother's name on the screen.
- Hi, mom, it's late already.
Her feature changed immediately when she heard her mother's desperation on the phone.
- Mom, mom, calm down, what happened exactly and where are you now?
Arizona's life seemed an endless rollercoaster and every time she needed just a little time trying to gather the pieces of her often broken life, something devastating happens and throws all the pieces down on the floor again.
After calling Callie several times without success, Arizona started to get really nervous and mad. She decided to call for help while she packed a small suitcase and put on some clothes. Leaving her house, she dialed April's number.
- April, it's me, I'm sorry, I know it's late, but I need you.
- Sure, what happened? You sound nervous.
- It's my dad, he suffered a heart attack.
- Oh my God, Arizona, I'm so sorry. How is he? How's Barbara?
- They're in the hospital, my mom is freaking out and can't seem to properly inform me how is he. I'm heading to the airport and trying to catch the first flight available.
- Oh, Arizona, I'm really sorry, but your dad is a strong man, he'll get out of that soon and good as new!
- I hope so. Listen, Callie's not picking up the phone and I was supposed to pick up Sofia there tomorrow night. I'm not sure if I'll be back that soon. I really need you to watch her for a night or two, would you do that? Please? I wouldn't ask you if I had any other way!
- Are you kidding me? I would love to, Arizona, don't worry. But, don't you think that maybe Callie would rather be with her?
- Callie's flight leaves 8 am in the morning. I would ask her to change it but she doesn't answer that damn phone!
- Hey, calm down. It's the middle of the night, she probably fell asleep away from it. Do you need a ride to the airport now? Where are you?
- I'm in a cab, already on my way, but thank you. As soon as I get on that flight I'll text you. I'll keep trying to reach Callie anyway. Thank you, April. I don't know how I would make it without your help.
- Well, you don't need to thank me, we're friends. And Sofia will be safe. I'll wait for your update. Have a safe flight and say hello to your parents for me.
- Thank you, April. I will.
Arizona didn't want to imagine how her life would be if her dad dies. She couldn't think about losing another man in her life. Losing her brother Tim was the most difficult thing she had to face. Even worse than losing her leg. She also lost Nick, her best friend. Then she lost Mark, and despite all the differences they had, he was a great part of Arizona's life. He was Sofia's dad.
She couldn't lose another man. She couldn't face another loss. Not right now.