Clair de Lune

by Dr. Holland

'Twas the night after Dan and Serena's wedding, and all through Chuck and Blair's house, not a creature was stirring, especially not Eric, Nate, and Jenny! After the singletons of the group go out for a wild night on the town, Nate and Jenny must fake a relationship in order to save his mayoral run. But when does the acting stop, and the loving begin? Post-6x10 (GG finale) FF.

21. Once Upon a December

CLAIR DE LUNE

Summary: 'Twas the night after Dan and Serena's wedding, and all through Chuck and Blair's house, not a creature was stirring, especially not Eric, Nate, and Jenny! When the singletons of the group go out for a wild night on the town, Nate and Jenny must fake a relationship in order to save his mayoral run. But when does the acting stop, and the loving begin? Chapter 1-6 are rated T; those from 7 on are rated M. A Nate and Jenny story, with lots of married Chuck and Blair, matchmaking little Henry, and wisecracking Eric.

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Gossip Girl universe, not even (sadly) Chuck or Nate. Major props to Cecily von Ziegesar, the CW, the producers, actors, and crew, and everyone involved with bringing these amazing characters to life.

Chapter 21 – Once Upon a December

EPILOGUE

Part II: Christmas 2029

Governor and First Lady of the State of New York, Second Term

The governor of the great state of New York leaned back in his leather chair, waiting for the party on the other end of the line to pick up. Voice phone calls were nearly extinct these days, as most preferred video, but this old-fashioned line was secure.

After three rings, a very familiar, much loved voice sounded in his ear.

"Hello?"

"Serena…?"

He could hear the smile in her voice. "Natie. I knew you'd call."

"Of course. I'm just sorry it's taken me so long. This legislative session has been…"

"I know…"

"And it's not as if I haven't tried to escape before this. I'll be on the first plane tomorrow morning…"

"I know, Nate. I know! Calm down, hon." She laughed her little Serena laugh. "I'll still be here tomorrow after all. The surgery's not scheduled until the day after Christmas."

"But I thought the doctors said…"

"I know what they said. December 26 isn't going to be much different from December 24. I told them I wanted to celebrate Christmas with my family and friends."

Nate let out a deep breath. "Did Chuck…"

"Yes, he arrived back from Singapore last night. He's here through the New Year."

"Eric and Ron and their daughter?"

"They'll be here for the holiday, and beyond. And before you ask, so are Vanessa and Tripp and their kids. Everyone will be here for Christmas… and Georgie's coming for my surgery. The house is filled to bursting, Natie. I'm surrounded by all the people I love."

The governor closed his eyes. "I wish I could be there right now. Remind me why you wanted to be out there instead of the Hamptons, again?"

"Because California is… oh, Natie, it's my place. You know that. I love everything about being out here. I love Grandma's little oceanside ranch here in Montecito as much as Mom hates it. Although I have to say that Mom's doing her best for my sake."

"So Grandma Lily's being maternal for a change?"

"Oh, absolutely! She and Rufus have been just wonderful with the kids. Of course, now that Jenny's here, they're having to go to bed at a decent hour."

Serena chuckled again, then started coughing. Nate's heart sank.

I hate cancer, he thought. I've thrown every bit of my political capital and as much money as I could afford toward fighting this horrible disease. Not only did cancer kill my grandmother and mother-in-law, Lily almost died last year!

And now, it's attacking Serena…. the girl of my dreams growing up… a girl I once thought I would marry… a woman who's still one of my very best friends. We get each other. Always did, always will. It even makes a weird kind of sense that our spouses are siblings… our kids are first cousins, and they're all so incredibly close. Just like we had the Non-Judging Breakfast Club growing up, they have Blair and Chuck's kids, Tripp's blended family with Vanessa, and Ron and Eric's daughter.

Serena and I will always be connected.

I can't lose her too.

"Sorry about that, Nate… I just…" But her attempt to restart the conversation was subsumed by another coughing fit.

"S, don't try to talk!" Nate said quickly, very alarmed. "I'll be there tomorrow…"

"Serena!" In the background, he heard the voice of the woman he loved more than any other in the world, issuing orders as if she were still in the governor's mansion. "Ali, baby, please get that phone away from your auntie… S, who on earth were you talking to?"

"It's Nate," she rasped. "He's just checking on me, Jenny…"

Jenny and Serena's conversation was muted when a light, girlish voice sounded in his ears.

"Daddy, Daddy! I'm so glad you called! Are you in your plane yet?"

Nate squeezed his eyes shut. More than anything, he wished he had a teleporter, and he could be right there. "Not yet, Sunshine. I had a party dinner tonight. I'll be on the plane at dawn, and there before lunchtime."

Ali sighed. "I understand," she replied, with all the gravity an eight-year-old could muster. "The people need you."

Nate closed his eyes. The people need your Daddy. He could only hope that Nicholas and Alice wouldn't grow to resent those words someday. After all, they'd been told that all their lives.

"But I need to be with all of you more. Tell me, baby, how's your Uncle Dan doing? How about Auntie B and Uncle Chuck?"

There was a long pause. Nate's heart sank. He and Ali had always shared a special bond. She always chose her words carefully, but for her to be this guarded, things weren't good.

"Daddy, I think you should get here soon!" She lowered her voice. "Auntie S is trying to be strong for everyone. But Uncle Dan stays in his room all the time, and he won't come out except late at night…" Alice was almost whispering now, "and Auntie B won't leave Auntie S's bedside at all."

"Is Blair there now?"

"She's in the bathroom," sighed Ali. "Henry made her take a shower… she hadn't in like three days… and you know that's not like Auntie B! Only Uncle Chuck can make her snap out of it, but he's not himself, either!" Another little breathy sigh. "Daddy, I wish you were here with us! So much!"

"I know, baby. I wish I were there too." More than anything, Nate wished he could make things different. For his little girl… and for everyone.

"Auntie S is trying to act like everything's normal, and we're just having a family Christmas. But Auntie B and Uncle Dan are just… and Uncle Chuck keeps yelling at the doctors, and you know he never just yells! Mommy tells me and Nicky to be brave, but last night, I saw her crying in the kitchen… I tried not to let her see me, but she did and told me to go to bed. Daddy, it's just so weird here!"

In spite of himself, Nate's eyes stung. Serena's illness had affected them all. He hated that the people he loved were in so much pain.

"You're such a great girl to be so strong for your aunt, Sunshine. I know it's hard. People are acting weird because we all love Aunt Serena so much." Pause. "How are the rest of the kids?"

"Oh, Daddy, Audie's just… she's just so good, Grandma Lily says she's the best little helper ever! She's the only one who can get Uncle Dan to eat anything… Grandma says she's being strong for her Mommy and Daddy! But Chris is really scared, he cries all the time… and Gemma… she's too little to understand. Nick and the twins have been trying to make everybody laugh, but…" She trailed off.

"Yeah, your Mom told me. I talked to your brother last night about his antics, and I know Chuck's talked to his girls. I know they mean well, but it's just… it's just a… hard situation, baby. Don't worry, this time tomorrow night, I'll be there to hug you tight and tuck you in."

"Yes! I love you so much, Daddy… oh, can you bring my Fussbudget Kitty holo tablet? I forgot her… she's in my room, in my desk drawer!"

Nate scribbled a note to himself. "Of course I'll bring her, little sweetheart… anything else? You and Nick never sent me your Christmas lists…"

"We don't want anything for Christmas except for Auntie Serena to get well," his little girl said matter-of-factly. "That's all."

And Nate felt totally helpless.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Alice Victoria Archibald," said Jenny warningly, watching as a freshly showered but hollow-eyed Blair sat down next to Serena again, "are you still on the phone with your father?"

"Yes, Mommy…"

"Well, give the phone back to your aunt. I think that Daddy called to talk to her, didn't he?"

Ali nodded, visibly swallowing as she handed the phone back to her auntie. Jenny softened her tone, her beautiful little daughter winning her over for the millionth time.

"I've just finished a big batch of sugar cookies, Sunshine," Jenny told her. "They're in the kitchen. Why don't you see if the kids want any? We'll talk to Daddy again tonight, okay?"

"Okay, Mom." Alice came over to kiss Jenny's cheek. She was such a slender doll of a girl, already tall for her eight years. My mirror image, she thought, kissing her daughter back, then watching as she went to kiss her aunts before setting off on her cookie errand. It's like watching my younger self… only she has my beloved's eyes and lips. My pretty baby girl.

In spite of herself, of wanting to think of her children as their own people, the thought came unbidden. She may look like me, but inside, she is so much like Nate. And the older she gets, the more like her father she becomes. Family always comes first for her Daddy… our little Sunshine feels the same.

Serena was starting to get tired again, so Blair took the phone. Unlike her usual chirpy, bossy self, the Bass empress' voice was dull and lifeless as she talked to her childhood sweetheart over the miles ("I'm fine, Nate… yes, I'm getting enough sleep! Stop the interrogation, you sound like your best friend, when it's not me anyone should be worried about!")

Jenny felt terrible. Although this whole ordeal had stricken them all with grief, it had taken the most out of the three people closest to Serena: her brother Chuck, her BFF and sister-in- all-but-name Blair, and her husband and soulmate Dan.

Before Serena got sick, Jenny hadn't realized just how much Blair Bass was not only the backbone of her family, but of their extended connection. But Serena's illness had rendered the Queen Bee almost totally useless. Usually Blair reigned over not only Waldorf Designs and the informal functions of Bass Industries, but also did what she called "quality control" of all of their connection's gatherings, parties, and special events. She'd even been the unofficial planner of both of Nate's mayoral inaugural balls in New York City back in 2019 and 2023, and both of his gubernatorial inaugural weekends four years ago and in January of the current year… although she told everyone who asked that she hated Albany.

But this Christmas, all Blair wanted to do was be with Serena… for the first few weeks after her surgery, she kept getting in the way of the doctors and nurses, researching everything on medical websites and asking a thousand questions. She only left her best friend's side to sleep.

Chuck was no better. Usually, Chuck was the one who grounded Blair, who tamed his beloved, dynamic wife's crazier impulses. But in this case, it was his sister's life on the line. Chuck was determined that his billions would cure her, even if he had to hire and fire every single cancer specialist in the world. Serena finally had to put the brakes on Chuck firing the latest team. He wouldn't yell at his "sis," but when she began to cough up a little blood the week before Christmas, he was at the end of his rope.

"I know you like Dr. Park, sis," he said tersely, "but I don't think he knows much! If he did, why would you need any more surgery?"

Before Serena could say anything, Blair was agreeing with her husband. "These doctors are glorified butchers, if you ask me! If we ran our businesses that way, we'd be standing in line at the soup kitchen this holiday season!"

And all Serena could do was shake her head.

So together, the Basses were totally unreasonable when it came to Serena's care. Any inkling of pain, any sign that she wasn't making progress, and the doctor or nurse in question was fired… and in fear of losing their career!

Then there was Dan.

It had been Dan who found the lump in Serena's breast, the weekend after Henry Bass' fabulous fifteenth birthday weekend at the Bass chalet in Austria. Practically all of St. Jude's and Constance made a spring break of it, but no one was on the slopes more than the popular Bass heir. Henry insisted on having not just his friends, but also his extended family, too… that was just the kind of teen he was.

So Blair had planned a splendid event for her son, along with enough child care so that the busy parents from their connection could have a rare opportunity to connect… and connect they did.

Ever the busy mother, editor, and socialite, Serena had neglected regular check-ups even though her grandmother and mother had both been afflicted with cancer. The Rhodes women had a genetic predisposition for an aggressive, fast-moving variety of the disease that had ravaged Lily's health and ultimately taken CeCe's life.

When Lily got sick at the beginning of 2028, Serena was a tireless caretaker. The blonde beauty commuted daily between overseeing the trained nurses installed in the Rhodes family's Hamptons home and ensuring that Dan, Autumn, Christopher, and their youngest baby Gemma had everything they needed in the city. (She was very sensitive to this, seeing as her mother had left the family for months while caring for CeCe… Serena swore she'd never do that.)

Even after Dan found the lump, it took a family intervention to get to her the doctor. Serena told him that she was far too busy, that she felt fine, that it was just probably a cyst or something. So her husband, Spectator editor-in-chief and bestselling novelist, loath to ask any favor of a Bass, broke down at the end of the weekend and told Chuck and Blair what was going on. The Basses responded to Dan's call with alarm and speed. Within twenty-four hours of returning to the States, Serena was being taken to her mother's oncologist's offices, furious at both Blair and Jenny, who flanked her and ensured she wouldn't give the Bass Industries security the slip.

"This is all so silly," Serena had muttered back then, pouting as they waited for her to be seen. "I have a ton to do and this is just a waste of time over nothing."

"It's not nothing, you nincompoop," had been Blair's reply as she distractedly thumbed through her messages in a futile attempt to work. "If you don't have your health, S, what do you really have?"

"I'm sure it's nothing," Jenny said soothingly, adjusting the dark sunglasses she always wore when trying to obscure her identity in public. "We just want to make sure, that's all."

The news was bad. Very bad. Serena had Stage 3C breast cancer. Not only were there little cancerous tumors throughout her breast, the disease had spread to several lymph nodes, and was threatening to metastasize. A mastectomy and chemotherapy right away would be the only chance they had to save her life.

Now, Serena Celia van der Woodsen Humphrey had always been - objectively - the most beautiful woman in their generation. This was a fact that not only Blair and Jenny, but every other woman in New York had grown resigned to. A year away from her fortieth birthday, Serena was still unquestionably "the fairest of them all."

Cancer ravaged not only her health, but her incandescent loveliness. Six months after her diagnosis, the fight against the disease had stolen her curves and ravaged her fantastic golden hair. The only thing that remained were her fabulous eyes… and her smile.

None of it mattered to Dan. The only thing that mattered to Jenny's brother was that his love didn't leave him.

"You still look the same to me," he told his wife every single day. "You are still the most beautiful girl in the world… and I still can't believe you chose me."

"Your love saved me," she would reply without fail. "You changed me from the inside out, Dan."

"Not as much as you changed me." And then, his deep, usually cocky voice would crack. "Serena, babe, please don't leave me… please…"

"Leave you?" she whispered back. "Never. I'm with you always."

And he would fall apart, sobbing in her arms.

It was their nightly ritual, one that the Humphreys eventually didn't care if others witnessed as Serena grew more ill. Dan spent his days holed up in a room, off to himself. (At first, Jenny thought he was writing, but whenever she went in there, he was just staring into space.) The only ones who could reach him were the children… and the only one who could get him to eat or drink was his precious eldest daughter Autumn, who had her mother's face and eyes and laugh.

Then when night came, and the nurses had pumped enough pain medication into Serena's veins to help her sleep, Dan would come back to the bedroom, wait for Blair to kiss her best friend good night, then curl up next to his wife.

You still look the same to me. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. I still can't believe you chose me.

Your love saved me. You changed me from the inside out.

Not as much as you changed me. Please don't leave me.

I am with you always.

Jenny would go to bed then, tears in her eyes as she checked on all the children, feeling a sense of foreboding despite the still, quiet house. She'd head up to her guest room, take her shower, and wait for her husband's nightly call. After that was done, she'd pick up whatever project she was working on, and wait for her children to come to her…

"Mom?"

She'd look up from her knitting or crocheting or embroidery hoop (anything to keep her hands busy), and smile at her son. Nick had her pale blue eyes, but otherwise looked exactly like his father. Although he was as headstrong as she was, and bumped heads with both of his parents at times, she had such a soft spot for her eldest.

"What is it, Nick baby?"

"I know I'm too big, but…"

She'd turn down the covers. "Come here, little man. You're not too big for a slumber party with your Mom." Especially given the circumstances, she thought but did not say.

And Nick would smile, and leap onto his dad's spot in the bed.

No sooner would she tuck her ten-year-old in, than her eight year old would come tiptoeing toward the bed. But Ali wouldn't ask. It wasn't her way. She'd just scoot in the middle, right between her mom and brother, and wind her arms around her mom's waist.

For all that, neither of them would sleep at first. They always fretted if something was wrong, especially if their father was away. So Jenny would sing their favorite lullabies to them, as she had since they were babies, coaxing them to sleep with her soft voice.

There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true

Believe in your dreams, come what may

There's always tomorrow with so much to do

And so little time in a day.

We all pretend every rainbow has an end

And you'll be there, my friend, someday

There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true

Tomorrow is not far away.

That had been their nightly ritual all week long. But as difficult as it was, Jenny was most afraid to think about what might happen next…

"J?"

She looked up, shaking herself out of her thoughts. Blair was handing the phone to her. Beside her, Serena slept fitfully on the bed. The frown on her face bespoke the pain and discomfort she was determined not to reveal during her waking hours.

Jenny took the phone from Blair, and waited until she was in the hall to put it up to her ear.

"Hey babe."

"Hey, sweetheart." Sigh. "I knew I should've cancelled that fundraiser."

"We've been over this a thousand times. You couldn't… you had to go. It's bad enough that I've been off the grid the past few weeks. Things are too shaky right now. Your approval rating is…"

"Forget my approval ratings, Jen! I hate not being there tonight."

"Oh, Nate. You are here as much as you can be. All the phone calls, video calls… you're doing everything you can while taking care of New York. And tomorrow is Christmas Eve. We'll have a whole week with you here… I can't wait."

"Still, I hate that damned nor'easter kept me here over the weekend. Should have followed my first mind…"

"Nate. Stop it. Serena understands. We all understand. Besides, your arrival tomorrow is actually giving us something to look forward to… do you know that Chris made his little sister cry earlier?"

Nate laughed dryly. "What did he do this time?"

"He told Gemma that there's no such thing as Santa Claus! And when Gee told him, yes there was so a Santa, then Chris said, 'then why doesn't he make Mommy better?'"

He stopped laughing. "Oh, God."

"Yeah." Jenny welled up as she pushed the door to the guest room open and walked down the hall. "I know. Speaking of God, Nick told me that Henry told him that he finally sees why his dad is an atheist."

"Really? Seems like just yesterday we went to the kid's bar mitzvah. Glad Cyrus got to see that before..."

"I know. Anyway, Nick said that Henry told him their Auntie Serena is the sweetest, kindest lady on earth, and she got cancer while awful people were the picture of health."

"Wow."

"Exactly. I talked to Nick, and I think I got through to him. But no such luck with Hen… he and I have always had a special connection, but it's no use. Hen said that he's done with believing in a God who lets such awful things happen. He hears his mother praying and crying over Serena and agrees with his father that she's wasting her time."

"Can you blame him, Jen? He's fifteen years old, the age you were when we first fell for each other… he's nearly an adult and can think for himself. I think his perspective makes sense, don't you?"

"I know." She shut her eyes. "But we can't lose hope, Nate…"

"Cancer could make anyone lose their faith. Look at everyone we've lost. My grandmother, Serena's grandmother CeCe, your mother, Mario, Karen… and now, Lily and…"

"Don't say it. Lily is in remission. She fought it and won. And Serena is a Rhodes just like her mom…"

"I don't even want to think about how sick Serena is right now, Jenny. I think the only reason I haven't clammed up like Dan is because I'm not there."

Jenny sat down on the side of the bed. As sure as she was of Nate, as much as he'd demonstrated to her over eleven years of marriage and twelve years of love that she was the one for him, she still hesitated whenever she was reminded that while he was her first love… she wasn't his.

"I know this must be really hard for you, Nate," she replied slowly. "You and Serena have a lot of history. I'm sure you're wondering what it'd be like if you were in Dan's place…"

"Actually, I'm wondering what it'd be like if you were in Serena's place. As horrific as this has been, that's my worst nightmare… a nightmare that I've lived through for a few hours, let's not forget."

Jenny closed her eyes. Trying not to remember.

"Well, thanks to you, I'm the picture of health. You've finally got me on a decent exercise regimen. I eat well. And I see the doctor so much that I've developed a weird guilt complex…"

"You have a family history of breast cancer, Jenny. Just like Serena. And I've even told Alice's pediatrician that he should start screening her for…"

"Nathaniel Archibald. Our daughter is eight. Alice doesn't even have breasts yet, let alone any chance of developing the disease!"

"All the same, sweetheart…"

"Nate, no one can predict it. Look at your own family. Your grandmother died of it, but her sister and her daughter have reached old age, perfectly healthy. Karen had no family history at all…"

"She was dead in five months."

Jenny couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks, remembering Nate's loyal, wisecracking secretary. "I miss her too! And poor Johnny… he was about to pop the question at long last. I'm just glad things have worked out for him and Andi." Nate's trusted, longtime personal assistant Johnny Dooley had just married Jenny's PA Andrea the year before.

"Yeah. But what a time for both of them to be out on family leave."

"They've earned it," Jenny said firmly. "It's their first child, Nate. Remember how it was when Nick was first born? I'm sure it's the same with them and that precious dollbaby Natalie… your namesake, let's not forget."

"How could I? As I told John, my wife wouldn't let me have a Nate Junior!" he teased. "I was voted down… and our kid ended up being named Nicholas William, instead of Nathaniel Fitzwilliam II!"

Jenny chuckled in spite of herself, wiping her face and sniffling a bit. "Maybe someday," she said softly. "We'll decide what we'll do about your next term, and then… never say never, right?"

Nate was completely silent. Jenny knew what he was thinking. She had been pregnant twice since having Alice. The first time, she miscarried early in the first trimester. At the time, they thought they knew what it meant to grieve for a child. They kept it very private, between only themselves… although eventually Nate told Chuck, and Jenny told Blair.

But that was before Gabe.

It was a very difficult pregnancy for Jenny. Toward the end of Nate's first term as Governor, she'd conceived the weekend of Nick's eighth birthday party. Jenny remembered how happy she'd been to spend spring recess back in the city, in their own home… planning her son's birthday party, stitching the top for herself and a matching dress for Ali on her own home sewing machine… and the delicious, stolen moments of lovemaking downstairs in the home gym, upstairs in their bedroom, and later that night after the successful gathering.

That had been the one bright spot during a difficult year. Albany had been miserable for the Archibalds, with Nate's first gubernatorial inauguration overshadowed by the death and funeral of Mario Imperioli, his mentor and political benefactor. Mario had been a wonderful, popular governor, but he left in his wake an unbalanced budget and many tensions and squabbles both inside and outside the party. Nate's first four years were marked by lots of dissent as he angered both the left and the right. But his decisions got the state back in the black, and earned him a second term despite Julia Yates' machinations.

For the first time in their lives, Jenny had mixed feelings about the win. She missed being in New York and working for Blair at Waldorf badly, and disliked the social scene in Albany. Nate, usually affable and able to get along with anyone, found upstate politics to be a different kettle of fish from what he'd gotten used to as mayor of the Big Apple.

The miscalculation that they'd made was to deliver at home instead of at the hospital. Jenny had delivered Nick so easily that she'd chosen to have Ali at their Greenwich Village brownstone. It was much more private and secure than Lenox had been during Nick's birth. There was no chance of any paparazzi disturbing them to take intrusive pictures, and their baby daughter thrived. So the plan was to head back to the city for the birth.

But Jenny ended up going into labor in the state capital. There was no time to make the trip back, where she'd had everything set up for the delivery. Jenny had no choice but to have her child right there in Albany… but instead of the local hospital, she opted for the governor's mansion.

There wasn't any indication that anything was wrong until Jenny had been in labor for over twenty-four hours, nothing to indicate anything untoward… until their obstetrician looked at the screen that was monitoring the baby's vital signs… and announced that their son was in distress.

She should have had an emergency C-section. But they were at home. The doctor made the decision to transfer her to the hospital, and assured Nate that even though there was a pretty bad snowstorm outside, they'd make it in time…

Except they didn't. Little Gabriel Edwin Archibald was stillborn. And Jenny had to receive an emergency transfusion because she nearly bled to death in the back of the ambulance.

And the very worst of it was that they had to pull themselves together, and continue the business of the state and the party as if nothing were untoward. He was still Governor Nate Archibald, and she was still First Lady Jenny Archibald. They had their nine-year-old son and seven-year-old daughter to consider, and their questions to answer. Nick and Ali understood that their little brother had gone to heaven, but it still was the first tragedy they'd had to face in their little lives.

Then Nate and Jenny had to go straight into the general election after that… ignoring the whispers from those in their party who said that the loss of their baby was yet another thing that the Archibalds had in common with the iconic Kennedys… ignoring the fact that there were once again paparazzi tracing their every move… ignoring the upcoming 2032 presidential election, with Nate being a strong frontrunner for their party.

Nate and Jenny were in too much pain. Every time anyone approached either of them about the White House, they were soon quickly cut down to size. Neither of them were thinking about the 21st century Camelot of so many people's dreams. The governor and his wife only cared about getting through another day, living with their grief.

Would they have more children? Never again, was Nate's opinion of the matter. Jenny was now over thirty-five. Each pregnancy from here on out would be considered high risk. Nate would never allow his sweetheart to put her life in danger again. As much as he would have loved another child, it wasn't worth it. Nicholas and Alice were more than enough for him. His wonderful children were his entire world… but their mother had built that world for him. He loved Jenny beyond reason and knew he couldn't live without her.

But Jenny felt differently. As long as they planned carefully and she was in the hospital for delivery, everything would be fine. A hospital birth might have saved Gabe, she always believed… and she had to work through the guilt she felt over not giving him his best chance at life. After a year of therapy, she wanted to try to get pregnant again.

It was the first major rift they'd faced in their marriage. The worst fight they'd had in their twelve years as a couple was over Nate's decision to have a vasectomy without discussing it with Jenny first. In the end, he didn't, but they didn't speak to each other for weeks afterward…

…and by the time they were on speaking terms again, Serena was sick.

Jenny knew that one of Nate's worst fears was getting her pregnant again. It was only her assurances that she was back on the Pill that kept him from using condoms every time. While she understood that he was coming from a place of caring and love, she greatly missed how carefree and spontaneous their lovemaking had been before… and sometimes looked at Serena's daughter Gemma, born a couple of years before their sweet little Gabe, with a heart filled with longing.

I miss you, Nate, she thought. I miss… us.

"So this temp they hired isn't half bad," Nate was saying, changing the subject as he always did these days whenever she brought up the topic of having more children. "Madison seems to know what I need better than anyone else does. She's almost as good as Johnny is, and as good as poor Karen was."

"Oh?" Jenny had only met Madison McClure a couple of times. She was one of Andrea's best friends, which made Jenny wonder how much about her PA she didn't know. Madison didn't seem the type of woman a sensible girl like Andi would be friends with. "I thought she spilled your coffee all over that shirt from Paris?"

"You're right, she did! Forgot about that time. But that was in the beginning. Now that the whole 'working for the gov' mystique has kinda worn off, I have to give her credit. She's a hard worker, pays attention to details… even knows how I like my coffee. Maybe we can find her a permanent place on the staff."

"Yeah. Maybe."

"You seem distracted, sweetheart. I can call you later, or tomorrow before I take off…"

"I'm sorry, babe. I'm just… exhausted, I guess. Think I should get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be a long day."

"Great idea. Lay down, close those pretty eyes… and when you open them, I'll be there."

Jenny responded to the coaxing tone in her husband's soothing voice, swinging her jean-clad legs up to rest on the duvet, then resting her head atop the soft pillow. The ocean breeze wafted in through the thin curtains… blue, just like his gorgeous eyes.

"I wish you were here with me, Nate." And she wasn't just talking about the miles between them just then. "I can't wait until you're here with us tomorrow night."

"I can't wait either… can't wait to be there for Serena, to hug and kiss our kids, and to hold you in my arms. Hang in there, Jen."

"I'm trying." In spite of herself, she choked on a sob. "I miss you so much, handsome… nothing's the same without you! It's so hard seeing Serena suffer like this, and feeling so helpless! I need you. I need your strength…"

"Aw, angel… you make me strong. You and those two amazing children you gave me. I love you."

"I love you too."

When she hung up, Jenny felt bereft. She had a sudden urge to call Nate right back… of course, he'd pick up, even welcome it, but she didn't understand why she was so out of sorts all of a sudden.

It's everything, she thought. We've lost so much over the last couple of years. Poor Karen… then Lily got sick… then my sweet little baby Gabe… and now Serena.

I prayed for my mom to live, many years ago, and she got five more months. But that's not going to be enough for Serena. We need her to get well… for the sake of her kids, for all of us who love her… and especially for my brother. Because I'm not sure that Dan can live without her.

Just like I can't live without Nate.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

We all pretend the rainbow has an end

But you'll find it, my friend, someday.

There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true -

Tomorrow is not far away.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Nate looked up from the phone as the clock in his mansion's office struck midnight. He'd hung up with Jenny a while before… he didn't know how long. Feeling out of sorts, he'd just sat there… and stared into space. Even an hour on the phone with his Jenny, talking to his baby Alice, and checking in with Blair and Serena wasn't enough.

He needed to sit next to Serena's bed, and tell her stories from their shared childhood that would make her laugh and light up her eyes again. He needed to pour Chuck a stiff drink (just the way he liked it), and convince him to take one up to Dan. He needed to have a man-to-man talk with his nephew Henry, already the same height as his father. He needed to encourage his amazing son… Nick always wanted to make people laugh and distract them from their troubles… and hold his precious daughter Ali - her beautiful mother's doppelganger - tight. And his darling nieces… Dan and Serena's Audie and Gem… and Blair and Chuck's gorgeous twins Dree and Katie… not to mention his precious little nephew, Chris… he needed to make sure they had the best Christmas ever, in spite of everything.

He needed to hug Blair, as tight as he could, letting his childhood sweetheart know without words that it was going to be alright, that they were okay, that not even the specter of a life-threatening disease could stop the Non-Judging Breakfast Club from being awesome.

Most of all, he needed his Jenny.

He'd never quite gotten over his sense of urgency whenever he was away from her. Nate was resigned to the fact that he probably never would. It was his own fault, he reasoned. They finally got together when she was twenty-five and he was twenty-seven, but he couldn't help but feel that they should have been together years before that.

He closed his eyes, smiling in spite of his worry over Serena, his fatigue, and the amount of stress he was under. Remembering her sweet voice during their pillow talk, one night long ago when he told her how glad he was that no one had snatched her up while he was trying to find himself…

There wouldn't have been any snatching, handsome. No one else came close. You were always the one for me, Nate. I only ever wanted you.

And by God, all he wanted was her. His only regret was that not only hadn't he been her first, he wasted far too many years without having her in his bed, in his life, and by his side.

Nate hated the distance that had formed between them since the awful, snowy day the February before when he'd not only lost his second son, but he almost lost Jenny. Deep down, he knew he wasn't quite rational when it came to his wife, but the prospect of losing her cut through his grief over losing his child, and compounded it.

It was the longest in their relationship that they'd refrained from a physical relationship. It wasn't until the next summer that they had sex again… after the horrible argument they'd had in the spring over his vasectomy. Nate felt that he was saving her life. But Jenny didn't see it that way. She told him that the fact he didn't want to have any more children with her made her feel awful… less feminine, cherished and desirable.

In the end, Nate conceded. But he still sometimes entertained thoughts of having the procedure done... especially when he had nightmares about losing Jenny in the back of that ambulance. He would have been good for no one if he'd lost her… and while he didn't care about his political career, he did care about Nick and Ali. They needed and deserved a mother and a father, more than his selfish desire to have her.

It was like an invisible barrier between them. Sure, they still talked and said all the right things and raised their children and supported each other in every way. They still enjoyed a pretty healthy, active sex life, too, once Jenny recovered. But the closer than close bond they'd forged during his first campaign eluded them.

Nate thought about all this as he made his way to his bedroom. It always seemed ten times larger and a hundred times more empty when Jenny and the kids weren't in residence…

Pushing open the door, he was startled to see Madison McClure, closing one of Jenny's drawers.

"Hey, Madison," said Nate with a frown. "Everything all right?"

"Everything's wonderful, Gov," she said, a brilliant smile lighting her face. With her red hair and wide-set round eyes, Madison reminded Nate of a taller Bree Buckley. She was a pretty girl, but Nate wasn't attracted to her. She had to be at least twelve years younger than him… a girl still, not yet a woman.

"Good. I told my wife tonight that you've been doing a wonderful job here. I hope to see more of you once Johnny and Andi return from family leave."

Madison's smile got even wider, if that were possible.

"And I hope to see more of you, Gov," she said. "Good night. If you need anything, just let me know and I'll be here in an instant."

Nate watched her go.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

"Mommy?"

Jenny cracked open her eyes and looked at the bedside dock where her smartphone rested in wake-up alarm mode. 3:25 am.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she rolled over… and looked into her beloved's fathoms-deep blue eyes, shining up at her from the face of her sleepy little daughter. On the other side of her, she could see Nick's dishwater blond curls, messy from sleep as his back rose and fell.

"What is it, baby?" she whispered back.

"I have a funny feeling." Ali frowned. "I think you should call Daddy."

Jenny blinked. She had no idea what the girl was after. More than anything, she wished Nate were lying there, too… he always knew what was going on in Alice's pretty little head. Jenny was good with her daughter, and they were close, but Ali could be inscrutable sometimes.

"Sweetie, Daddy's probably on his way to the airport right now. He wouldn't want us to wake Nick up, would he?"

"Mommy, something's wrong. Please."

Jenny sat up. "Sunshine, I think you just had a scary dream. It happens sometimes! Tell you what, I'll go and check on Auntie Serena, okay?"

"Okay."

So a very tired Jenny stood up, found her sandals (she'd fallen asleep in her t-shirt and jeans), and made the rounds. First, she made her way to the suite where Serena slept in Dan's arms, slipping in just as the nurse stepped out. From all appearances (and the nurse's assurances), Serena's condition was stable.

She walked the rest of the floor of the large mansion. There were no signs of anyone awake. All of the children were sleeping soundly… Henry alone, the twins and Autumn together, and Chris and Gemma with their grandparents Lily and Rufus.

Jenny was going to slip downstairs when she heard a noise in the study that Dan usually holed himself during the daytime… it had once been the library and home office of Lily's father, Richard Rhodes. There was a rustling that Jenny at first thought was caused by the ocean winds against the books…

But then she saw the couple at the same time that she heard Blair's moaning. Chuck was taking his wife against the bookshelves of the library, a fast and furious coupling that appeared to the observer to be both white-hot passion and exquisite release. They were mostly clothed, with Blair's legs wrapped around Chuck's waist. The petite brunette's eyes were screwed shut, but her lips were parted with pleasure. As for Chuck, he was mostly silent, head buried somewhere between Blair's neck and shoulder, motionless except for the force of his thrusts. Both were oblivious to anything else except for each other.

Jenny wasn't sure what to do. Certainly, they'd all walked in on each other over the years, but she didn't want any of the younger children to see them. She also didn't want to disturb them or interrupt.

In the end, she closed the door quietly… and made her way back to the bedroom, where Nick slept on, but his little sister was sitting straight up in bed.

"Mommy, Mommy! You have to call Daddy! Now!"

Jenny was shaking her head. It just wasn't like Ali to be this defiant. She was always a sensitive child, but…

"Okay… okay, Sunshine. We'll call him."

"Mom, please hurry," the girl implored. "We're almost too late!"

Something about her daughter's tone and face brooked no refusal. Although Jenny thought her daughter was being incredibly silly, under the tense circumstances, the child couldn't be blamed, could she?

Sighing and placing a soothing hand atop Ali's golden pigtails, Jenny pulled her smartphone off the dock… and held down the number 1.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Nate always loved it when Jenny initiated sex. One of the many ways he loved her doing it was to seduce him as he slept. Many were the times when he woke up to her gentle touches, but a rare treat was when she was more insistent… he had pleasant memories of waking up to her hand wrapped around his morning erection… and sometimes, even more than that.

It was such a turn-on for him that early in their marriage, he'd decide to "play possum" to see how far she'd take it before he woke up.

Tonight was no exception. They'd been apart for nearly two weeks. Now that Nate was finally in California, he and his sexy wife could reconnect doing what they did best.

He loved the way her hands touched his chest. This morning, she was driving him nuts with the slow circles she was tracing, almost as if she wanted to memorize every single muscle, every pec and ab, everything. Once she was done there, her fingers danced along his back, but not smooth and sensual as she usually did it, but with a slight bite of her nails that was almost too much… Jenny was a chronic nail biter who'd get professional manicures at the insistence of her staff, so he supposed she'd done that sometime while in California. He wasn't really a fan of long talons, though... maybe she'd cut them down?

He was at half-mast, unusual when he was with her. Usually with Jenny, he could barely control how aroused he'd get, and how fast he'd get there. He supposed it was whatever new scent she was wearing… he loved everything about his sweetheart, but for the first time in their marriage, whatever was wafting in his nose was a miss. He decided he'd take the kids out shopping, and pick up a new bottle of her signature scent that he so loved.

Her hands traced his hips, then one wrapped around his hard length… but she was too tentative! Shy… she hadn't even been that shy their first time! Perhaps she was still tired too.

"Mmm… baby, you know that's not enough for me. I need more of you!"

His phone rang. But it wasn't just any ring. It was Jenny's special ring that was sounding. Why would she be calling him while they were getting it on? Did she have her phone beneath the covers?

Blindly, he reached for his phone and placed it against his ear...

"Hey, baby, is this a new game?" Nate rubbed his eyes, wondering what his wife was up to just then.

A light, dry chuckle. "I wish! Your daughter wanted me to call you. I told her you'd be here in a few hours, but you know how your mini-sweetheart is. I think she just wanted to hear your voice…"

"Are you serious?" He was still only half coherent, but he knew he had no idea what Jenny was talking about.

"I know, Nate. It's silly, and it's the middle of the night. I think she just needs her Daddy…"

Nate switched on the light and looked around.

This was decidedly not the room he usually shared with Jenny at the Rhodes ranch in Montecito, California.

He was still in Albany. In the governor's mansion. In upstate New York.

And there was a bulge underneath his covers. A lady-shaped bulge.

"Jenny. Where are you?"

"Nate, have you been drinking? You know exactly where I am."

"Indulge me."

Chuckle. "You silly man, what am I going to do with you? You know I'm in California!"

"I'll call you right back."

And Nate did something he'd never done before.

He hung up on his wife.

But that was only because someone (or something) was beneath his covers, and was stroking him intimately. He'd gone to bed with pajama bottoms on… as was their tradition, Jenny had the top with her, to sleep in while she was away from him. But he didn't feel as if he was wearing anything below the waist.

Okay, he thought. I'm going to have to get ready to fight whatever the hell is in bed with me.

Trying to remember some of his martial arts lessons from decades before, Nate threw off the covers…

…and revealed a naked, buxom redhead. A very familiar looking redhead.

"Madison? What the fuck are you doing in my bed?"

Of course, Nate didn't yell this. He'd been a politician for a decade now… and more importantly, he'd been a member of the Non-Judging Breakfast Club for nearly four decades. Yelling and shouting would only bring security, and others… and the more witnesses that were around, the more opportunity for tales to spread.

But his harsh tone brooked no refusal. He wasn't amused or titillated. At all. He was disgusted!

Madison smiled a very knowing smile, stretching so that her curvy body was on full display, even as Nate moved away from her, snatching the sheet to cover himself.

"Oh, I think you know exactly why I'm in your bed. You've been sending me signals all week, Governor Archibald… and this…" her hand caressed his dick again, "…does not lie."

He jerked away from her touch, covering himself awkwardly.

"What?! I was sleeping! I thought you were my wife!"

"Well, normally, I'd be insulted… but you're so hot, I can be your Jenny if you want me to… or anyone else you want me to be."

"You're sick."

"And you're horny. It's been almost two weeks since your wife has been here… and let's face it, I'm much younger… not to mention hotter… and I guarantee that this," she cupped her sex, "is sweeter and tighter."

Nate couldn't believe what he was hearing!

"Get out of here!" He scrambled off the bed, reaching for his robe (what had she done with his pajama bottoms?), and tossing the throw that rested on the back of a chair in her direction. "Now!"

"You can't tell me this is your first time having a little action on the side! Do you have any idea of the fun and games you're missing?" She leered at him, batting her eyelashes. "Your body is unbelievable. Men half your age don't have those abs! I know how to take care of a man like you…"

"The only thing you can do for me is GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BED!" he roared. "And cover yourself!"

Madison slid sensually off the bed, wrapping the throw around her body. Through the haze of anger and disgust, Nate realized that something about the girl's actions reminded him of someone from the past… Diana Payne!

I can't believe it! This girl is an escort! She's looking for a sugar daddy!

"Look, I know you're used to men in my position going for girls like you," he said coldly. "But there's nothing here for you! I am a happily married man. You need to get your things, and you need to go."

Madison shook her head slowly.

"Oh, I think I need to stay, 'gov.' Do you know how long I've waited for you? How many nights I touched myself, anticipating the night that you would finally touch me? It's been more than five years since I decided that I would have you… and trust me, I will!"

Nate was backing up slowly as Madison walked toward him. The woman was certifiable, and although he didn't see any weapons, he had no idea what was going through her crazy skull. The nearest button to call security was on the side of each bedside table… but as governor, members of his security detail were posted outside the door… all he had to do was yell…

"Look how tense you are! If that wife you're so devoted to was doing her job properly, you'd have your every need catered to…"

Now he really was going to yell for security, and let the chips fall where they may. But the phone rang again. Nate's reflexes were generally good, but Madison was between him and the table.

He lunged for it… but so did Madison… and they fell onto the floor in a tangle of limbs.

Although the phone had fallen to the bed, the speakerphone function had been activated in the melee…

"Hello?" Jenny's voice sounded above his head. "Nate, what's going on? Nate?"

He didn't answer. He didn't because Madison had resumed her assault. She seemed even more determined to fondle him, and it had been drilled into him that he could never hit a woman…

"AAAAAAAAAH!"

But his dad and grandfather never said he couldn't shove a woman. Nate pushed Madison off him so hard that the momentum sent her crashing into Jenny's mirrored, brushed pewter makeup vanity. He heard her head as it made contact with the furniture…

"Nate, please, what's wrong?" Jenny was panicking. (In the background, he could hear Ali's sleepy voice: "Mommy, is Daddy okay?" and Jenny's reply: "Go back in the room, Sunshine, while I talk to Daddy.")

Glaring at the screaming woman on the bedroom floor, Nate picked up the phone and took it off speaker.

"Madison just attacked me."

"She attacked you… what? Why?"

Nate clamped a hand on his forehead. "I woke up and she was naked in our bed…"

Jenny said "WHAT?" at the same time that his security detail burst through the door. Marcus Cane, chief of security since his days at City Hall and Gracie Mansion, pushed past the rank-and-file guards to check on the governor.

"Arch, sir, are you all right?"

"Yeah," he said, shaking his head. "But she needs to go to the hospital…"

Cane frowned. "Sir, what was she doing in here?"

"I don't know. I woke up, and she was in my bed. Uninvited."

And the look on Cane's face as he took in the guards who had door duty could cut glass.

"Call an ambulance, and then pack your bags," barked the burly chief, cutting through their bumbling excuses for letting Madison in without authorization while the governor was sleeping. To another, he said, "Get that girl's things out of Andi's office, and take them to the hospital with her. She's not coming back here."

"What? He… he raped me!" screamed Madison. "Then he slammed me into that dresser when I said I was going to tell his wife!"

Cane glared at the girl.

"Is that really your story, McClure? Because I'm the one who's going to be taking you to the hospital... and I said good-night to you as you were leaving the residence, just before I checked on Arch, who was sleeping…"

"Believe what you want," snapped Madison. To Nate, she said, "You're going to be sorry that you've treated me this way!"

Nate refused to look at her. He just let the guards take the girl away.

Jenny, three thousand miles away, was clearly very upset. Nate could tell from her tone.

"Babe? Talk to me, please… are you all right?"

Nate walked toward the window, belting his robe more securely.

"I'm fine, sweetheart. Just… a little shaken up." He sat down on the window seat, feeling dazed.

"Wish I were there to hold you… I just knew there was something wrong with that girl! Did she hurt you?"

"No. I just woke up to her molesting me. Naked. In our bed."

Jenny sighed. "No wonder you were so weird when I first called! Don't even think another second about her, handsome…"

"The hospital's going to ask questions."

"Not after Cane takes care of it. And if she dares to lie anyway, well… she'll have me to deal with."

Nate didn't say anything. He just felt so stupid. How come he hadn't known the second Madison got into his bed that it wasn't Jenny? Why couldn't he sense how twisted the girl was?

"Nate. Stop beating yourself up. Call your pilot and tell him that I want you here by noon Pacific time."

"I was going to…"

"No. I don't want you to fly yourself right now, babe. Not after that girl rattled you so much. I need you to put that witch out of your head, because we've got bigger problems waiting out here."

"Jenny, I don't want you thinking that I would have actually… with…"

"Please. You should know me better than that."

Nate let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "How do you always know just what I need to hear?… God, you're amazing."

"So are you. And I'll show you just how amazing I find you tonight." Chuckle. "I can't believe that harlot. As if… anyway, I'm glad Ali woke me up and told me to call you."

"How on earth could she have known anything was wrong?" He frowned. "I don't want her knowing what Madison…"

"She won't. I'm in the hallway. I'm just glad that your special daddy-daughter wavelength worked tonight."

"I am too. Let me talk to my baby girl."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Later that evening, Jenny was basking in the glow of the Christmas Eve bonfire from where she sat on the deck, facing the beach. Almost everything was right in her world.

Nate had arrived at lunchtime, and it was as if he brought Christmas along with him to the ranch. It took the security detail several trips to finish bringing all the presents that had come from New York. The smaller kids were beside themselves with excitement.

"I ran into Santa before I left New York! He told me to deliver all these, and more besides!"

Chris frowned a little. "How come he doesn't come here himself?"

"Because there's no snow," said Dan, looking a bit less grim as he ruffled his son's blond curls. "When's the last time you saw a reindeer on the beach?"

"But my Dad could buy snow for the little kids if we needed it, Uncle Dan," said Katie confidently.

Chuck placed a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "I'm sure Santa will manage, Chris," he assured her with a wink.

Along with the gifts that were in the house already, there was absolutely nowhere to sit in CeCe's formal living room. So Lily announced that she was going furniture shopping, and dragged Rufus along with her.

That was fine, because everyone spent most of the afternoon and evening on the deck facing the ocean instead. The children scampered up and down the beach, much as they always did… except this time, Aunt Serena wasn't able to run with them. Instead, she held court on the veranda like the princess she was, an elegant gold turban Blair designed (and Jenny sewed) for her taking the place of her tresses.

"What a find! Thank you, Dree!" she smiled, taking the seashell from her niece.

Audrey Bass kissed her cheek in response. "I love you, Auntie S!"

"I love you too! Once I'm better, I'm going to show you how to make a necklace of these… just like your Mom and I used to do when we were girls."

Audrey turned to her mother. "Did you really, Mommy?"

"They were all the rage in Montauk back in the Nineties," Blair said loftily from her perch, leaning gently against Serena's chair, stroking Chuck's head on her lap as her tired husband dozed. "Maybe you will bring them back?"

The little girl grinned from ear to ear, and she ran off… but not before her Uncle Dan reached out and tugged her ponytail, affectionately.

Jenny went to join her husband on the beach with the kids. He was in the process of arranging a foot race along the shore, boys, girls, and even the three family dogs (who had a hard time keeping still!).

"Do you really think it's fair for you to run, Uncle Nate?" Henry pointed out. "I mean, you could have been a pro athlete or something."

"I think it's perfectly fair," Jenny called out, jogging to reach where they stood. "Because I'm in, too… in it to win it."

Henry chuckled, his newly deep voice a low rumble in his chest. "This I've got to see."

"Well, in that case," Nate said, winking at Jenny, "it should be boys against girls…"

"No fair, Dad!" Nick said right away. "We've only got three boys, but there's five girls! And that's not even counting Mom!"

"Oh, I think we can even those odds."

Jenny turned around and squealed. "Eric!" For Eric had come with his husband, Ron, and their adopted daughter Michaela. She embraced her best friend, kissed his husband's cheek, but only got to pinch little Mikki's cheek before Nate scooped her up and lifted her high.

Then it was time for the relay races. Nate, Eric, Henry, Nick, and Chris raced Jenny, Ali, Katie, Audrey, and Autumn. (Ron sat out with the two smallest girls, Michaela and Gemma, to build a lopsided sand castle.) The boys should have won fair and square, but Jenny did everything she could to even the odds… and felt no qualms about doing so.

"Hey! You can't tell the twins to run the same heat, Mom!" said Nick. "That's cheating!"

"Nicholas Archibald, are you actually calling your mother a cheater?"

"But… b-but… you are!"

"Actually, Nick, Dree and Kate are kinda like the same person," Ali giggled. She almost couldn't get the words out for laughing… because the only thing the two feisty, pretty Bass twins had in common was their birthday! They famously were as different as different could be.

"You're just mad that we beat you, Nick," Katie told him loftily, as she and her sister passed the baton to long-legged Autumn. "Admit it."

Nick was visibly flustered. But all he could do was stick his tongue out in response.

They played all kinds of games on the beach that afternoon, including beach volleyball. Then Grandma Lily came home, and it was time for dinner. After dinner there was the bonfire, with plenty of s'mores for everyone… and no sooner had the crackling flames started that the Vanderbilts arrived.

"Great," said Henry, finished with spearing the last s'more for his littlest cousins. "Finally someone my age."

"I'm almost your age," Nick told him, a little crushed. He and Henry were close as brothers… but still, the five years between them meant that they couldn't really be like Nate and Chuck… at least, not yet.

But Henry was happy to see Anais. Despite their tumultuous first meeting when they were little, over the years, the two teenagers had become friends. There were zero romantic sparks between them, however. Vanessa's daughter attended (gasp!) a public high school… where Henry met his first girlfriend. Blair and Chuck didn't approve of the company their son was keeping at all, and Henry's relationship with Rosa didn't last.

But he did retain the very un-Basslike habit of associating with all kinds of people. Henry Bass was by far the most popular boy on the Upper East Side, the heir to his parents' throne… but thanks to his happy childhood and upbringing, he wore his crown easily. There wasn't a crowd Henry didn't fit into, and rare was the person he didn't get along with.

"He's as democratic as we were exclusive," Blair complained to Chuck often. "When will the boy realize that everyone isn't worth his time?"

But Chuck was pleased that his son would never know any of the loneliness, insecurity or fear that he'd been raised with. "Henry's got a good head on his shoulders," he would tell her every time. "I say we just go with it."

These days, Henry hung out with Anais as much as his busy schedule at St. Jude's allowed. They sat by the bonfire and talked, making sure that none of the smaller children got too close.

Tripp had just returned from a trip to Havana, and brought Chuck's favorite cigars for all the men to enjoy. Blair and Lily banished them from the deck, and they actually convinced Dan to join them in Richard Rhodes' library for Scotch and smokes.

Lily disappeared into the house, saying she needed to check on the final preparations for Christmas Day. So that left Serena, Blair, Jenny, and Vanessa with some precious time to themselves on the starlit deck. The house's butler brought champagne for everyone except Serena, who had fresh green juice infused with vitamins.

"It's such a perfect night," Serena said happily. "This is the most fresh air I've had in weeks! I think I'll have you wheel me out here more often while I'm recovering. I'll be better in no time."

"Well, you know you've got a deadline," Blair told her best friend and sister. "We're all turning forty next year…"

"Not everyone's going to be forty next year!" Jenny cackled.

Blair groaned as Serena chuckled and Vanessa shook her head. "Sure, J! Just because Nate robbed the cradle doesn't mean you get to rub it in."

"That's okay, let her get her digs in!" Serena laughed. "Just know that no one under forty will be invited to my big party next summer, Jenny..."

"What?" Jenny scoffed. "Of course I'm going, you're my sister-in-law!"

"Oh, Little J, surely you know that this shindig will be invitation only," Blair told her. "No kids allowed!"

And Serena actually high-fived Vanessa.

"Whatever! Blair taught me long ago that the best parties are the ones…"

"…you're not invited to!" And all three women laughed.

"I swear, you girls make me sound like I was the absolute worst when we were growing up!" Blair complained. "Do you know my Audrey came to me a few weeks ago, with those hazel eyes just like her dad's, asking 'Mother, were you a bully?' I had to explain to her the distinct difference between bullying and enforcing standards…"

"Come on, Blair, what standard were you enforcing during the whole Nelly Yuki affair junior year?" Serena chuckled. "And that's just the tip of the iceberg!"

"I get it from my kids too," Jenny said, "although I'm glad mine aren't old enough to read the blow-by-blow accounts Dan posted of all my most embarrassing moments. Speaking of not being invited places, let me tell you what happened to Nate this morning…"

Jenny shared the entire Madison incident with her friends. Serena and Vanessa grew more and more vocal, exclaiming as they listened ("She did not!" "That little tramp!"). But Blair didn't say a word.

When Jenny was finished, Serena was shaking her head.

"I don't know how you do it, Jenny. I love the spotlight… and I adore Nate… but I couldn't deal with all the women throwing themselves at him!"

"Including me?" Jenny teased. "Because I was shameless, you know…"

In response, Serena threw an ice chip at her sister-in-law.

But Vanessa was frowning as she looked at the Queen Bee.

"Blair?"

"Give me everything you have on her," said the Bass queen coldly. Her eyes glittered with anger.

Serena clucked her dry tongue, gratefully accepting a tumbler filled with ice chips from one of the waiters. "B, come on… really?"

"Madison McClure made a very gross, very classless and unfortunately for her, very public pass at my husband several years ago, when she was barely legal. Chuck embarrassed her, and I shredded her with a promise: I told her if she ever came near me or my husband or anyone in my orbit again, I would wipe her ass off the map.

"She did not take me seriously. Since then, that whore has broken up a half dozen marriages, including one of my League friends! She's been on my list for quite a while, but I have had other, more pressing concerns. But now, you're telling me that she practically tried to rape my childhood sweetheart? Violated one of my very best friends? Tried to steal my right hand's man?

"I'm going to end her." Blair's tone was final. "She's finished. That's all."

Jenny shook her head. "Blair, the girl's like twenty-five. I think Nate embarrassed her enough today. She saw an attractive, older man with a lot of power, whose wife is in and out of town, and she assumed that he didn't really value his marriage. Big mistake. She'll go slink into a corner or something."

"That's what you think, Jenny. That type never dies. Once a whore, always a whore!"

"Maybe. But we need to be mature about this. Nate's fine, and I say all's well that ends well."

There was silence.

"Fine," Blair conceded. "But if she surfaces again, J, I will take matters into my own hands. And that's final."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Christmas began as one of the most joyful holidays that anyone in that connection could remember. Serena had another great morning, and as a result, laughter and merriment were in order. The children began opening their presents around six in the morning, first under the watchful eye of the staff, Henry, and Anais, then with Grandma Lily and Grandpa Rufus' supervision. The other adults surfaced around mid-morning, just in time for a lavish Christmas brunch, set up in the dining room with the wall of French doors opened to let the ocean sounds and scents in.

In the afternoon, the children put on a surprise pageant, organized by none other than Nick Archibald. They had all re-enacted scenes from their parents' favorite movies, filming them so that they could be replayed during an amateur film festival of sorts… Anais and Henry made sure everything was captured on film.

As always, the first movie tribute went to the Queen Bee. Blair had tears in her eyes when she saw the famous "Moon River" scene from Breakfast at Tiffany's. Katie played Holly, and Audrey, in a trench coat played Paul! But it was Autumn Humphrey who stole the show as the vampish cougar… everyone was still laughing over her antics when Nick re-enacted the hoverboard chase from Back to the Future for Ron.

Henry and Anais did a skit from Rear Window for Dan, then acted out a G-rated scene from Endless Knights for Vanessa ("hey, my favorite movie is City of God!"). Tripp got a souped-up version of Nick playing Jerry Macguire ("show me the money!"), and then Nick and Katie made everyone go to the covered pool, and joined forces with Ali Archibald to do a scene from Philadelphia Story for Chuck. Then for Eric, Henry was a surprisingly chilling Anton Chigurh from No Country For Old Men, stalking Tripp and Vanessa's son… he reveled in it until his mother told him to stop because "you're frightening the younger children!"

For Jenny, Henry and Audrey showed off their dance lessons to re-enact the famous "Time Of My Life" scene from Dirty Dancing (or at least a very G-rated version of it). When Serena protested with "Uh-uh! The only reason that's Jenny's favorite movie is because I gave her a copy of it… before that, her favorite was Twilight!," Chris and Gemma shushed their aunt with their rendition of Bonnie and Clyde's first robbery… with lots of coaching from the sidelines!

Last but not least was the governor. But before Nate could hear the rendition of "So Long, Farewell" that the kids had planned, Serena began an uncontrollable coughing fit.

"No, I'm fine… just give me a minute…"

She tried to signal for them to begin, but when a steady trickle of blood fell from her lips as she coughed, the happy time was over.

"It's time for you to get back upstairs, Serena dear," said Lily quickly, holding Autumn gently as she tried to get to her mother.

The nurse on duty took the brakes off Serena's hospital bed as Dan tried to soothe his wife, sponging her forehead.

"Your mother's right, babe. With all the excitement of Christmas Eve and Christmas, you've missed getting your rest… after a nap, I'm sure you'll feel better."

Everyone else remained frozen in place, all except Blair, who shook off Dan's insistent attempts to get her to "no, stay with the kids… I'll be back in a minute." Blair was going, and in this crowd, what Blair wanted, Blair got. She also shook off Henry's attempts to see after her ("I'm fine, sweetie, just keep things going… we'll be back"), and glanced at Chuck, who followed her out of the room.

No one else moved. Even the children were silent and wide-eyed with fright. Gemma's eyes were brimful of tears, and they threatened to spill over, but Autumn saw her little sister's distress and gathered her into her arms.

Henry went straight to Jenny, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Aunt J, we've got to do something," he murmured. "Aunt Serena wouldn't want this… it's Christmas, and it's not even dinnertime yet."

"Your mom and dad…"

"My parents aren't themselves right now. Uncle Dan really isn't himself. We've got to do something."

Jenny glanced over her shoulder at Nate. If anyone could see one of the country's most powerful governors in that moment, they would have been surprised. He was holding a silently tearful Ali in his arms. His own eyes were closed as if he wanted to shut out the world, even if only for a moment.

She turned back to Henry.

"We need a distraction. I don't know if people are in the mood for board games… or we could go back to the beach…"

"How about a movie?" Vanessa suggested. "They're streaming all kinds of stuff right now… I say we have a movie marathon."

"And that's my wife's answer to absolutely everything," Tripp joked, although he didn't smile. "Watch a movie! Although I don't know that it's such a bad idea."

"Actually," said Eric slowly, "it's a great idea. Henry, you get things started… Jenny, come on, we'll see if they've got any good movie snacks around."

They watched holiday movies for the rest of the evening, before and after dinner. Henry then had the idea of turning it into a slumber party for all the kids… so with their candy and popcorn, toys, blankets, and pillows, they marathoned Christmas classics from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to A Charlie Brown Christmas to How the Grinch Stole Christmas and more. They played Christmas movies until the littlest ones fell asleep, then the bigger kids, and finally, close to midnight, Henry's head dropped down on an already dozing Anais' thin shoulder.

Serena didn't come back downstairs, and neither did Dan. Rufus and Lily stayed upstairs, too. But Blair and Chuck did almost as soon as their eldest was asleep. Eric and Ron had gone up to bed, and so had Vanessa and Tripp, but Jenny was still watching with the kids as Nate soothed Ali to sleep. Normally, Jenny would have made Ali get off her daddy's lap and join the other kids her age… she was a big girl, nearly nine years old.

But these were not normal times.

Instead of using the opportunity to go up to bed, the Basses silently joined the Archibalds as they turned from cartoon Christmas movies to holiday classics. First, Chuck put on It's a Wonderful Life, and they watched that. Then Nate selected White Christmas.

It was a night that no one would ever forget. Chuck held Blair. Nate held Jenny. And that's how Lily and Rufus found them, around three in the morning, just as Bing Crosby was singing "Count Your Blessings" to Rosemary Clooney in the most memorable scene in the movie:

When I'm worried, and I can't sleep

I count my blessings instead of sheep

And I fall asleep counting my blessings…

And when my bankroll is getting small

I think about the time I had none at all

And I fall asleep counting my blessings.

Rufus and Lily found seats. And Rufus sang, very quietly so that he didn't wake the children, along with Bing.

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads…

Just as quietly, Jenny joined her father:

And one by one, I count them as they slumber in their beds.

Nate and Lily joined them to finish the song, as Blair finally closed her eyes.

And if you're worried and you can't sleep,

Just count your blessings instead of sheep,

And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

In long years after, the Humphrey children would always tell the story of closing their eyes one dark Christmas night, and hearing the voices of angels as they slept.

(The Basses, Archibalds, van der Woodsens, and Vanderbilts didn't quite remember it the same way… but as Autumn Humphrey would say until she was old and gray, "It wasn't your mother whose life was on the line that night." And that was that.)

They opened their eyes, and they all knew that something had changed.

No, Serena wasn't miraculously cured. She still had to have her surgery, and her recovery was long and slow, taking many months. But somehow, the cancer that all symptoms and tests pointed to having spread to her lungs and perhaps beyond was confined to the lymph nodes. The doctors were confident that they'd removed all visible cells… and another round of chemo would take care of the rest.

By the time Georgina arrived from Australia in the middle of Boxing Day, Serena's surgery was over and she was in post-op… and the doctor had to remove his glasses as he talked to his patient's family and friends.

"After the last round of tests, I thought we'd be facing a worst case scenario. But I was wrong… it's the most amazing thing! Mr. Humphrey, I thought I would be coming out here to tell you that your wife only had a few months at best left to live. Instead, given what we saw when we went in today, I'm happy to say that her chances of going into remission at the end of this are looking better than ever."

Dan's knees buckled… and he would have fallen over if Nate hadn't helped him stay upright. Chuck clapped his brother-in-law on the back, breaking into a wide smile.

Lily burst into tears, sobbing hard. So did Eric. Rufus held them both, Ron stroking Eric's back.

But the most heartbreaking of all was Blair… Blair, looking like a little lost girl with her big, dark brown doe eyes, unblinking, unbelieving…

"Dr. Park," she said, in a voice that Jenny had never heard from her before, "does that mean… did you really just say… are you saying that Serena is going to live?"

"It's too early to say for sure. But, if my team and I have anything to say about it, she'll not only survive this, she'll thrive."

Blair gasped, then let out a cry that sounded for all the world like a plaintive wail. All the suppressed emotions she wouldn't let herself feel for months came crashing down… and like Dan, she would have crumpled, but instead, she fell against Jenny, whose arms went around her tightly.

"It's going to be okay," she said softly, holding a finger up as Cane (who, along with the security detail, always traveled with the governor and his family) came over to help Blair to a chair. But Chuck was there in an instant, gathering his wife to him, whispering little endearments in her hair as they walked away from the group to have a private moment.

Dan, Lily, and Rufus went straight to post-op to see Serena. Jenny turned to Nate.

"Looks like our kids are going to get their Christmas wish after all…"

His answer was not in words. Instead, he swept her up into his arms for a passionate kiss.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

And all would have been well that ended well, if it wasn't for Madison McClure…

…but that is another story for another time.

~to be continued~

A/N: This chapter took forever and a day to write. I knew it'd be tough… Serena is life in the GG-verse, so to bring her to the brink of death and back took quite a bit. I've had the entire epilogue arc planned for a while, but it's been a busy summer and autumn, to say the least.

The two songs that I used in this part are both Christmas tunes. The song that Jenny sings as a lullaby for her kids is from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Claymation special, "There's Always Tomorrow"… it's the song that Clarice sings to Rudolph. And of course, "Count Your Blessings" was most famously done by Bing Crosby in White Christmas.

It will be hard to say good-bye to this storyverse and these characters, but I've started a new fic that will probably be my last in the Gossip Girl 'verse. Check out "All You Need Is Love" and if you like it, drop me a line!

I'm hard at work on the final part, which begins in the fall of 2036 and ends on January 20, 2037. (Is that strong enough of a hint for you?) We will find out everyone's fate, you'll get to see some of Team Endgame's kids as teens and young adults, and Madison will get hers.

I'd like to thank Lauren/suspensegirl/chuckblair90/ChuckBlairLuvA for giving me the inspiration for the very last scene of Clair de Lune with her fabulous birthday vid, to Ed Sheeran's amazing ballad "Give Me Love" – it's on YouTube DOT com SLASH watch?v=ucMlnvWNL3I – I couldn't stop squealing! Thanks to her, I imagined the very finest, and most elegant ball that Blair Waldorf Bass will ever plan. I'll be including it in the last part of the epilogue as one final bow… along with a HUGE reviewer thank-you list! Love you guys!

Last but not least, sending much love (and healing!) to my amazing beta, Nese35 (jrg33). She looked over multiple drafts of this chapter, offering encouragement and suggestions. Any mistakes and/or inconsistencies are mine and mine alone...

Until next time,

XOXO, Dr. Holland