A Mother's Love
Chapter 21
Mike got up before the alarm clock went off and made Christine an omelet and bacon for breakfast in bed. He put one of the tissue flowers on the tray with a cup of coffee for her and headed back upstairs. He managed to get back in the bedroom just as the alarm went off. Christine sit up with the sheet pulled to her chest, looking disoriented and he sat the tray down in front of her and gave her a slow kiss.
"Mmm, breakfast in bed?"
"Yeah. Not as good as yours but I thought you might like an omelet."
"It looks delicious. Tastes good too. And one of the flowers too?"
"Mmm Hmm. If I had realized the payoff for making those little flowers I would have kept making them for you all these years."
"Last night was amazing and a lot of fun. I felt like a newlywed again."
"You were amazing. Or are."
"Nice save there. I need to take a shower."
"We can both take one to save time."
"And conserve water, right?"
"Yep."
"I wonder how the girls are?"
"Let's wait until at least seven before we message them. Gives us time for that shower."
"Did you hear my phone or the house phone?"
"Nope but you had me pretty distracted all night."
"Likewise. Can you hand me my robe?"
"Sure." Mike set the food tray on the dresser and grabbed her robe, all too happy to help her into it. The big fluffy robe was not necessarily sexy but Mike didn't care. They almost didn't make it to the shower until Christine reminded him that they had a schedule to keep and Mike wanted that Christmas to be special for the girls. They quickly took a shower and got ready for the day. Christine was doing her hair while Mike shaved.
"So, what are you thinking for the girls for presents?"
"I don't know. I honestly think Lizzie is going to love the traditions more than presents."
"I can't understand never having a Christmas present though. As a mother, it just disturbs me."
"I want her to have a great Christmas because of that. I don't think it'll really matter what we get her. What's bothering me is it's the first Christmas without Addy. It isn't with Lucas but in years past, I just ignored the day."
"It'll be hard, but we will get through it together. And one of the ways we will get through it is not ignoring it and concentrating on Hannah and Lizzie."
"Yeah. I'm looking forward to it because of Lizzie and Hannah but I'm also scared too. I want to be able to buy Addy and Lucas a present but I can't."
"Says who? If it helps you cope, then buy the present. This first Christmas is kind of a hump day for both of us and we get to choose how we cope with it. Like you, I tried to ignore last Christmas and I hate that now because it was Addy's last Christmas. I wish I had known that then but it's done. So we buy that Christmas present for her and keep it back because she didn't have one last year. I think it's a good idea."
"You okay? You concentrate so hard on me going through a grieving process but you are too. Addy and Lucas were your kids too."
"And that is why it's important we lean on one another. There are days that you won't be as strong but I will be, and other days where I'm having a rough time and you have to be the strong one."
"And what happens on the days that we are both having a rough time?"
"We lean on each other and the girls. Fake it 'til we make it."
"You know, years ago, you said that you were happy that I was the one that you were getting to share the parenthood experience with. As much as I hate this grieving process, I'm glad I'm experiencing it with you."
"Likewise. I wish I had known then what we would have to face but it's probably a good thing we didn't."
"Probably. I'd better go check on Snickers."
"I'll be ready soon."
"No rush. How are the girls?"
"Lizzie's still asleep and Hannah's excited about church. That is probably something we should look into. Might do us all some good."
"Probably. Shades of your dad coming through there but your right."
"I'll talk to Grace about their church, see what Hannah thought."
"Sounds like a plan. I had better go back to my pet sitting duties."
"Yep."
Mike kissed Christine again and went and got Snickers. The poor kitten did not like not having her person around at all. If she wasn't so small, Mike would just let wonder but it was better to leave her in her carrier when they weren't home. He treated her to a bowl of warm milk but the kitten kept looking for Hannah.
"I know, Snickers. I miss our girl too. She'll be back tonight. She's having fun." He heard Christine chuckling behind him and he turned around and shrugged his shoulders at her. "Last night was amazing but I am missing the girls. Sorry."
"Don't be. I am too. It's why I love experiencing parenthood with you. You love our kids so much. I can't wait to see you with a baby again."
"Two more months and we can start trying."
"Yep. Carol told me she would be more comfortable if I weighed about one twenty before I got pregnant and then handed me a cookie."
"So, twenty five more pounds? Two months?"
"Yeah. I say we still start trying rather I weigh that much. Of course, that is all if we get pregnant right off."
"At the rate we went last night, I can't imagine we'll have much trouble. Just do what we did with Lucas and relax."
"Carol has said that not to think of it as trying for a baby and to just enjoy. Not to stress."
"So she's saying we can do that as much possible?"
"Once we get the all clear, yes."
"I wish we had had her as a doctor, when we were trying for Lucas. That doctor made it feel like a personal failure."
"I hated that doctor. She was horrible. She wanted us to start IVF after the first three months. She didn't want to understand that we didn't really try for either Addy or Hannah."
"I think that's why having them was so easy. We just had fun and nine months later, we had a beautiful baby. And it worked with Lucas when we just relaxed."
"Yeah and the 'Mommy and Daddy weekend' helped."
"When we went to Ana Maria Island? I was stationed in Florida then. He was conceived then?"
"Yeah. Remember, there was a hurricane that weekend but we didn't care. I don't think we even had electricity."
"Didn't need electricity for what we did. And it was successful considering that we had Lucas."
"Yep. Snickers just fell asleep in her milk bowl. I'm taking a picture and sending it to Grace to show Hannah. Just so she knows you took care of her."
"Okay." Christine took the picture and sent it to Grace while Mike was fiddling with his phone. He looked like he was in deep thought.
"What are you doing?"
"Sixteen hours is how long it would take us to go to Ana Maria Island. It's a bit far for a 'Mommy and Daddy weekend.'"
"Maybe somewhere a little closer. I'm fine with here."
"I want something nicer for you though when we start trying."
"Not necessary. I love it here too. It was sweet that you looked it up though. Take Snickers up and we'll be ready to go. I told Grace we'd get Hannah at three. It gives us time to do our shopping and then run the stuff home and then back to St. Louis, if we get moving now."
"Yes, ma'am."
Mike took the kitten up to her carrier and settled her in. She was purring happily. Christine was waiting in her coat by the door with his coat on her arm. She had always been good at keeping him on schedule.
"Ready to go? Here's your coat." She helped him into it and they headed out to the truck. She had already gone out and started it and he opened her door and helped her in.
The drive into St. Louis was fairly quiet because Christine was trying to figure out what to get Lizzie. The young girl didn't express many interests. She had shown that she loved crafts and drawing. She also had a talent for painting. She was also a typical teenager that loved clothes, make-up and hair stuff. Addy hadn't been much different. Hannah was fairly easy to shop for.
They found a mall that had everything they needed. It took a couple hours but the girls would be very spoiled. Mike got Lizzie a locket that had "Daddy's Girl" inscribed on it and a charm bracelet with a charm that said "Baby girl" on it. Christine knew that the girls would treasure the very special gifts for the rest of their lives. He tried to get her to pick out something for herself but she told him she didn't care about presents for herself. She wanted the girls to have a special day but she also knew Mike would insist that she had a present to open too. She also wanted something for him too. They bought Lucas a football and got Addy a nice leather bound journal. It seemed odd because the gifts would just sit in the closet but it was also cathartic to buy them.
"So what do you want for Christmas? You keep asking me and we've gotten all this stuff for the girls."
"I have you girls. That's all I want…or at least that I can have." They had sat down to eat lunch at a small diner next to the mall. Christine reached across the table and took Mike's hand. She knew he was thinking about Lucas and Addy. It was the one thing they both wanted but couldn't have.
The waitress brought their food and they quickly ate so they could run their many presents back to the house before picking their girls up. Christine decided to see if Grace or Carol would help her with a present for Mike. She would get a double picture frame and have one of them take a picture of her with the girls and on the other side of the frame, put one of their family pictures from before Addy and Lucas had died in it. It would be something Mike would love.
They ran the presents out to the house and hid them in their closet and under the bed. Christine would have a mountain of giftwrapping to do and with helping Mike on his investigation, time would be a bit thinner. They got headed back out the door to get Hannah after Mike had checked on the kitten who was still looking for "their girl."
When they pulled up to the church, they were shocked to see how it was all set up. There were blow up castles, pony rides, face painting and junk food. Christine texted Grace to see where they were but then Mike seen Dylan. As soon as Mike and Christine got close, Sophie started reaching for Mike. He immediately took her and was given a kiss on the cheek.
"Oh, Sophie. I'm the only man you're supposed to be kissing on. I feel cheated on!"
"Kit, Kit!"
"And that explains that! She thinks I have the kitten, Dylan."
"Right, well if you don't mind to can you watch her? I'll go find Grace and your daughter."
"Absolutely." Mike and Christine sat down at one of the tables and Christine handed a block to Sophie. She immediately took it and handed it to Mike like she was giving him a gift. It made Christine laugh. Mike had her sitting on the table in front of him and was playing "pass the block."
"I think Sophie has a bit of a crush on you."
"The feelings mutual. She's awfully cute. Course I am taken. Don't be too jealous."
"I won't be since your crush isn't quite two yet. She'll be heartbroken when she realizes it though."
"She won't for a few years."
"Her daddy might get jealous before then. Sure you want another boy?"
"I honestly don't mind either way. Nothing sweeter than a little girl."
"That's a given. I'm hoping for a boy though. Here's your other baby girl." Hannah came running up to them and jumped on the bench between Mike and Christine. She was winded and coughing. Grace followed her over to the table and Mike handed Sophie over while he rubbed Hannah's back. The toddler did not like that and immediately started fussing at him.
"She got a little overdone. She's played pretty hard. The bounce house did Hannah in. Does she have asthma?"
"She didn't before but she had a pretty bad upper respiratory thing so maybe now. Mike, your little crush is a bit jealous."
"Daddy, can you hold me?" Mike immediately pulled Hannah onto his lap and she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head on his shoulder. Sophie had dissolved into tears until her own dad walked back up. She more or less repeated the same action that Hannah was doing and both girls quickly fell asleep. Grace and Dylan's other kids were playing and could care less about the adults.
"So, Mike, Christine told us what you were doing. Carol has got several people lined up to organize that mess. One of us will go with you when you do the interviews. Comfort the victims and such. On days that Christine is with you, we will look after the girls."
"I…I don't know what to say. There's hundreds…thousands of files. It's overwhelming what you all want to do."
"It's not what we want to do. It's what we are going to do. We will be there at nine am tomorrow. Give me the address and don't be late. I'll pick the girls up and take them for the day. Carol has a computer programmer who is going to set up a database for you. We will organize the files into a numeric filing system. Essentially the cases will be assigned numbers. I realize you don't want that but for you to psychologically get through this and stay married, you have to disassociate a bit."
"Not that I'm threatening divorce, Mike. But you need help. More help than I can give you. Accept it."
"I plan to. I'm just overwhelmed by all the help. Why are you all doing this?"
"Because you're doing a good thing and we like Christine. Mostly because we like Christine."
"Who doesn't?"
"Geez, Mike. We already watched Hannah one night. Are you vying for another kid free night?"
"Hannah was a joy by the way. We loved having her over. Maybe sometime you all can watch Sophie? We don't have any trouble finding a place for the other three but the last two sitters told us that she was a terror."
"Oh, we'll watch Sophie or any of the kids anytime. I think she has a crush on Mike."
"Well, now I'll tell you since you volunteered to watch her, she refuses to sleep in her own bed. She'll be in your bed."
"Dylan, you are not supposed to tell all of our parenting failures!"
Both Mike and Christine had to laugh. Lucas had refused to sleep in his own bed for the first three years of his life and so they both understood it. Hannah had woke up and was drinking Christine's water. They needed to go to Carol's for dinner but was enjoying visiting with Grace and Dylan. Mike finally gave Grace the address for the building where all the records were and they went on their way.
Carol's house was in an upscale neighborhood and they finally pulled in just before five. Hannah had another coughing fit so Mike carried her up the walk. The little girl was just done and they wouldn't be staying late. Christine rang the doorbell just as Hannah started coughing again. Thankfully Carol opened the door quickly and immediately let them in and led Mike to the couch in a formal living room. She had a concerned look on her face and had pulled a stethoscope out of her medical kit which was by the door. Carol unbuttoned Hannah's blouse and listened to her heart and both lungs.
"I think we need to look into getting her an inhaler. Did she get overheated today?"
"Probably, she was in a bounce house, playing pretty hard."
"I'll talk to her pediatrician tomorrow. See what she thinks. I think she'll be okay tonight as long as she takes it easy."
"Daddy, Mommy? Can I sleep in your room tonight? I slept in Claire's last night and it was fun but I missed you all."
"Sure."
"That's probably a good idea. I have some oils that I will send with you all. They'll help. Hannah, I have an ice cream cake for dessert."
"Yummy!"
"Let's go in the kitchen. Girls!"
The house was a showplace but was also lived in. Mike and Christine threw their coats and Hannah's on a hall tree and took their shoes off. Lizzie and Amy ran down the stairs and Lizzie stopped long enough to give them both a hug before heading to the kitchen. She was acting like a normal teenager and it was refreshing. Carol had the table set in the dining room. When Mike and Christine walked into the kitchen, a tall gray haired man greeted them.
"Hi, I'm Peter, Carol's husband. You must be Mike and Christine. Carol and Hannah are setting the table. Nice to meet you all."
"Nice to meet you too. Anything we can do?"
"Just make yourself at home." Carol and Hannah came back in and they all carried dishes back into the nice dining room. Peter was quiet and seemed to be Carol's opposite. Hannah sit in between Mike and Christine and the two older girls sit at the end of the table, having their own conversation.
"So, Mike, Carol tells me you're in the Navy?"
"Yes."
"I put myself through law school serving in the Army. It was…interesting. I was a Ranger."
"Ah. Thanks for your service."
"Thanks for yours too."
"My daddy was on the Nathan James, it's the ship that brought the cure back. He was the XO then but now he's a Captain." Hannah was obviously proud of her dad and Mike didn't have the heart to tell her not to tell people what he had done. All he could do was hope they didn't make a big deal of it. He wasn't as proud of it as his daughter was.
"I know and I bet you're really proud of him?" Peter nodded at Mike and Mike knew nothing would be said.
"Yeah. He got shot in Norfolk. His throat looks nasty. Doctor Carol, can you fix that?"
"Sorry, sweetie. I can't. But that scar will fade, I promise. It's only a couple weeks old."
"Oh. Daddy, does it still hurt?"
"No. It itches sometimes but that's normal."
"You've been shot before?"
"A few times."
"Oh. You can't get shot again. It scared me and Lizzie and Mommy was really scared too."
"I won't. Changing the subject, Grace told me what you had organized for the investigation, Carol. I truly appreciate it."
"Anything to help."
"Well, thank you."
The rest of the dinner, they talked about everything that didn't involve the Navy or the Nathan James. It was absolutely refreshing for Mike. He hadn't realized how much he had begun to resent his own service. He wasn't ready for retirement but he blamed the Navy for not being there when Lucas died, not preventing Addy from dying, Hannah's health and Christine's situation. Maybe the investigation and the change of assignment would help with that. It helped having friends that didn't care about what he had done and understood he didn't want to talk about it.
After dessert, they got Lizzie and Hannah packed up and headed home. Hannah was worn down and fell asleep in the truck. Lizzie had turned into a full blown teenager who kept focused on her phone, texting back and forth with Amy. Mike had even got an eye roll out of her. Typically he would have been infuriated, but he loved the fact that Lizzie was feeling comfortable enough to be a typical teenager. Christine had laughed at him and decided to see if she could distract Lizzie with Christmas plans and traditions.
"So, Lizzie, is there any special tradition that you had for Christmas?"
"No. It was just another day. I've never had a Christmas or birthday present, never had a dinner or anything. One thing we did do was I would take my brother and sister to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. We weren't Catholic but I always loved it. I'd like to go to church on Christmas Eve. It doesn't have to be for mass or anything. I don't understand all the church stuff but I think it's just beautiful."
"We can do that." Christine shared a look with Mike. It was heartbreakingly simple. It reminded Christine of her dad. She would ask Grace if their church was doing any sort of service on Christmas Eve. If not, she would find one that did. They got to their house and Mike carried Hannah in. He laid her on the couch and Lizzie went and got Snickers. The tiny kitten was laid on Hannah's chest and instantly started purring. Lizzie told Mike and Christine about what all that she had done at Carol's house and asked if she could have Amy out sometime. Mike and Christine were both thrilled that she was becoming a normal sixteen year old and she had already asked when she would be learning to drive.
Hannah woke up and they all headed to bed. Lizzie hugged both Mike and Christine before going to her own bedroom. Mike and Christine settled Hannah and the kitten in their bed and laid down on either side. As amazing as the night had been before; they had missed their kids. They both ended up on their sides with their arms around their sleeping ten year old. The kitten was lying on her stomach and was being very possessive of her.
"Mike, do you ever look at her and wonder how you and I created something so amazing?"
"I wonder it about myself but not you since you're so amazing. She looks and acts like you. I just provided the little swimmers."
"You're a mess. She has a few of your characteristics. Her mouth? Chin? That's all you. She's also so sweet and forgiving. Like you!"
"You too. And I'm not sure sweet is the right word to describe me. But Hannah definitely is."
"You have your moments. I think we can agree that Hannah is the best part of both of us. Addy and Lucas were too."
"She is amazing like her mother. I'm getting tired."
"We didn't sleep much last night. Well you didn't, every time I woke up you were awake."
"Enjoying my view. Although my view tonight is just as beautiful, just in a different way."
"You are really working on those brownie points. Are you banking them up or something?"
"Yeah, for my next screw up."
"Cute. We have a long day tomorrow. Better get to sleep."
"I love you for getting this ball rolling. I don't think I would get through any of this without you."
"I love you too. I am proud of you for doing it. We'll get you through it." Christine leaned over their sleeping daughter and gave Mike a kiss. They both fell asleep quickly with their arms around Hannah.