Chapter Twenty
The message was very brief, but very powerful. After Vayne read it, he walked to the judge's tent and placed it on top of all the other documents, because this one would take first priority.
"I must leave immediately." He stated. "I would not miss my own mother's funeral."
He was honest as he knew that he had no chance of being with her when she dies. He could not help but to wonder whether that this was deliberate, as they must knew that she was dying.
"It had been my pleasure to work with you during these three years, Lord Vayne." Zecht said. "But of course, you must go."
The empress was dying…his mother would be dead before he even set foot onto the capital. However, did this matter? If she really wanted to see him, she could have done something. She could at least have written to him.
His father would naturally be upset. After all, his father did the best that he could have, helping her to preserve that fantasy world even though he should have made her face reality. No matter what, it was clear that his father had loved his unsuitable empress.
Larsa would be upset- he was pretty sure that a five years old child was old enough to understand death, especially one as smart as his brother. Not so long ago, he received a letter from his brother and while he was quite pleased at the skills that his brother demonstrated, he wished that the news in the letter were not so grim. In the letter, Larsa wrote of his worries about their mother's ill health, as well as how agitated their father and sister-in-law were getting each day.
The ending, however, was very touching.
"…I miss you. I want to see you soon, Lord Brother."
How much could a two years old child remember? He was not sure, and that was why he would write these letters. It was to prevent the boy from forgetting him.
Sometimes, Messallina would write to him and due to worries at what might happen, her letters were impersonal. A necessary duty on her behalf. However, it was easy to read between the lines when you knew that you had to.
"I am the one that is in charge of his lessons, and I am the one that is constantly beside him. Therefore, I should be able to judge the level of his lessons. He is a smart child, but I believe that he does not understand the importance of resting. That is why I do not think that my lessons are too slow." This seemingly hostile letter actually translated to: "He is a smart child, but he does not realise that it is not good to be too smart in this place, so I make him play instead of learning more".
Five was still a very young age. An age before the senate might try to make use of Larsa. As long as he himself gives the senate no reason to decide that he was too dangerous, then they would continue to use him, since he was a very valuable tool.
A tool that one could use to prevent their hands being dirty was useful, but it was even better if no one realise that you were using it, so the blame could go to the thing itself. The best thing about a tool was that it would always do what you wished, because it had no mind of its own.
However, he was not a tool of the senate. He sought to serve the empire, not the narrow world the senate limited themselves to.
One day, the sword that they use would turn on them. That, he was certain of.
Upon arriving back in Archades, the first person he saw was naturally his father. Throughout his trip, his father would have heard much of him, both from his own reports as well as the ones that others gave him. Therefore, it was not a touching reunion, since there was no absence to make the heart fonder.
"You mother is dead." Gramis stated bluntly. "We had hope that you might be able to return before her death."
"We? Are you referring to my mother?"
"To Messallina. She believes that you should be at your mother's side in her final moments."
"A right that any child should have."
A right that he was denied of, just as he had been denied of many other rights.
"What a surprise to find aid from her of all people," Vayne muttered. "I am very surprised that she does not blame me for my mother's death. After all, she even blames me for her son's death."
"Yes, is it a surprise. She is showing you more then what you gave her." Gramis agreed.
"Unlike her mother, my mother was not involved in treason." Vayne said steadily. "Messallina should know this. Was Messallina the one beside my mother when she dies? If she is, then I wish to talk to her. I would also like to see Larsa."
"Larsa is well. Drace and Messallina have prepared him for it very well. He understands that his mother is dead, and he is upset. However, he is still only a child." Gramis said. "You will probably find Messallina at the cathedral where the funeral would be. Your mother is there too. After you talk to her, I want to talk to you again."
"I will attend my own mothers' funeral." Vayne stated quietly, but very firmly. "You have no right to deny me of that."
"Of course you would be there. No, it is about Messallina. Now that your mother is dead…"
His sentence trailed off but the context of the word was clear. Even though the emperor was upset at his empress' death, he was still able to talk of the other effects. This was the responsibility they had by being in a leading position, as well as the nature of their world.
Messallina was mostly harmless, but it was clear that she had the potential of being harmful. That was enough, really.
But then, almost everyone they interacted with has.
The cathedral was a grand building, but it was something that he just tended to see from afar. Siorus' funeral probably took place there, but he had not been allowed to go and he thought that this was highly ironic given that this was the one death that he was not responsible for.
"Lord Brother!"
It was Larsa, the young boy having run to him, seeing the approaching figure from his sitting place at the top of the stairs that leaded to the cathedral.
"You could recognise me?" he asked the young boy as he picked him up, silencing his protest with: "I have not seen you for three years, so let me do this."
He himself was able to recognise his brother due to the boy's clothing and action, but how would a five years old boy remember the brother that he last saw when he was two?
"Drace told me." Larsa said as he pointed to the direction where the judge must be. "I miss you, Lord Brother."
"Do you remember much of me?" he asked as he walked up the stairs, still carrying the boy.
"Yes. Messallina read your letters to me, although I am able to read some of them myself now." the boy said. "If I ask, she will tell me a bit about you, although she told me that I must never ask Mother about you. I don't understand why."
"You…" Vayne was good at speeches, but he found himself at a loss of words. He did not wish to lie to the boy, yet there was no way that he could tell Larsa of what had happened.
"I understand that Mother is dead, and I am sad." The five years old said very grimly. "But I don't feel that sad, although both Messallina and Drace tell me that this is alright, because I didn't know Mother that well."
"We grieve…we are sad in our own way." Vayne said. "But Larsa, why are you here?"
"I followed Messallina- she has been very sad." Larsa said. "People say that she was like this when she lost her child. I don't understand what they mean, but I know that it is really bad."
What were they filling Larsa's head with? He was really tempted to turn around to go back and talk to the servants. To think that they were gossiping about this of all things in front of his brother!
"What have you heard?" he asked.
"I know that I had two brothers that died, and one of them was Messallina's husband, and that is how she became our sister."
No severe damage yet, it seems, but he was still going to have a talk with the servants.
"Where is Messallina? You said that you followed her?"
"She went in. I was going to follow her but Drace won't let me. I am worried about Messallina. Ever since Mother died, she has been crying a lot.
"I will go and talk to her." He said as he placed Larsa down. "Afterwards, we will continue talking."
It was more pleasant to talk to Larsa, but talking to Messallina was necessary.
Now that he thought about it, the wedding of his brother and sister-in-law had took place here too. Their life was full of acting and that had certainly been one of the best performances they all took part in.
A neutral bystander would have thought that this was the end of a story instead of the beginning of a very unhappy tale.
He remembered sitting at the very front, observing his brother. The groom was smiling since he had little concern at the rest of the ceremony. If anything, he probably wanted an accident to prevent the bride from appearing. After all, he was not some boy waiting for the bride he loves, it was the opposite.
When the bride entered, many had turned to see her in curiosity, even though her face was blurred due to her veil. He naturally did not, as the action would be too common. Besides, he already knew what she looked like.
His brother turned to his bride, the smile widening. Beside Tudur, Ewein was smiling in an equally welcoming fashion.
He remembered Messallina walking past him and all that he recalled was that she had a very fancy dress as he was wondering how rich her father was. When she was unveiled, he didn't think much. Why would he?
A huge contrast to the woman that was sitting at the very front, where he once sat.
On that day, in front of the seats had been the groom and then the bride. Now, it was a casket.
It was his mother, so he walked to stand before her, feeling the other person's gaze piercing into him.
His mother was smiling- a smile that he could only see in his memories. Was she smiling because she was at her fantasy world once more? Since this world did not allow her to do so, she was probably much happier whenever she was.
What was he suppose to feel? The last time he was in front of her, she had told him that she would never forgive him, and just as she had pushed him away, whatever emotion he had felt for her was gone too.
"Did she wish to see me in her final moment?"
"She said that she behaved wrongly."
"Is that it?"
"What more do you wish?"
"If I knew, then I wouldn't be asking you." he said bitterly as he turned away from the dead to face the living. However, he did not sit down beside her, although he did move to stand right in front of her. "Larsa is outside. He followed you here."
"He is a sweet child. However, he is too unguarded. He does not realise that the ones around him could easily be the one that hurt him."
"I will teach caution to him without him being hurt. However, I did not come here to talk about Larsa. I do not wish to talk to you about Larsa at this very moment." He added the last bit quickly due to his own surprise at the previous sentence. "What have you done? Lord Gramis wishes to talk to me about you and servants seem to have been gossiping about you."
"I am simply grieving for your mother." She answered. "And shortly after your departure, Chairman Gregoroth paid me a visit where he tried to shift the blame of what happened on that day. That was all, as he has yet to talk to me again."
"Planting seeds, no doubt, but when would the tree grow?" he said thoughtfully. "You are grieving a lot, but how much is it for show?"
"I remember how I once thought about asking her to help me with Tudur. I didn't in the end, because I realised that all she could see was her son being a perfect husband to me. Not because she loved him, but because this was what must be. I knew that she was selfish, but I still cared for her."
She did not tell him about his mother's strange comment in regard to the two of them. The reason, however, was not caution. It was because she wanted this to be her secret.
"I am back now." he said after a long pause. "I believe that I will be here for a while."
"I am glad of that." At this, she pulled her veil over her face to reveal a smile. "Welcome back, Lord Vayne."
He guessed that his father wanted to talk to him about Messallina and he knew that he wanted Messallina to stay, and it was not just because she was useful. Therefore, he had to show the right amount of indifference.
However, he first talked about the affect of possible rumours on Larsa, especially in regard to that day. For now, what happened with their brothers would be a taboo subject, and they would not explain it to Larsa until he was much older. If Larsa asked, they would just say that his brothers died in an accident.
"Well, of course she would continue to stay here because where else would she go? I doubt that the current head of the Meligeni family would want this additional burden. Here she would actually be very well treated due to her position as the widow of my late brother."
"Perhaps she is harmless and content now, but she is not of House Solidor. Before, it was your eldest brother and then mother that connected her here."
"She cares for Larsa and that is probably the only thing I can be certain of." Vayne said. "She is good with Larsa too."
"Would such a thing be enough?"
"Of course not, but I do not believe that Messallina would do anything foolish, as I do not think she is ambitious. After all, she was not involved with Tudur's plan. Even if she was, the fact that she got away with it would have scared her against trying to do such a thing a second time."
"You think she is harmless then?"
"More harmless then harmful. However, I do believe that we should keep an eye on her, as I would not risk Larsa being harmed. In addition, I did once say that it would be better to make sure of her instead of just preventing her from being harmful. I still think so." As Vayne said this, he then realised that this was what he has ended up doing already.
"You will do that then, since you already talk to her due to Larsa." Gramis decided. "If my grandson, their son had lived, then things would be very different."
"Yes, the world would be a much better place, as she is fond of reminding me." Vayne said dryly. "I will do so, but it will not be an easy task, as we are not on good terms. Larsa is not a bond between us, but only a slight connection. She blames me for almost every bad thing that happened to her, and I do not like shows of irrationality."
"Make sure that the senators would not be able to use her." Gramis decided. This was not because he wanted this possible tool, but because he did not want another to use it. It was even worse due to the possibility of the other being able to use it well.
Author's Note: in the Japanese version, Larsa just calls Vayne 'aniue', a very respectful way of addressing your elder brother. However, there is no equivalence in English as I think the idea of addressing your siblings by a title is just not a concept that they have. The problem is that in the game, Larsa never seems to address Vayne at all, although he constantly refers to Vayne as my brother. In the end, he addressed Vayne as 'brother' once, as well as 'Lord Brother'. Therefore, I decided that I will have him address Vayne as 'Lord Brother' throughout the game, even though I don't know how often he would use such term. However, Messallina is a really big problem, because I feel that having Larsa calling her 'sister' or 'Lady Sister' is quite strange. Therefore, for now, Larsa would just call Messallina by her name, although I do feel that it is not completely right. Unless he has a special name for her?
Vayne and Messallina decided to act as if they dislike each other to prevent anyone from suspecting that they might work together. To most, they probably would dislike one another. After all, Messallina seems to love Tudur, so she would naturally blame Vayne for his death. Vayne saying that she is being irrational would naturally be in character, and given what he is like, his next reaction would be that she irritates him.