Chapter 21

Jake put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me toward the front door. I looked back at Jasper and said goodbye. I felt so terrible leaving him like this, I could tell he was worried about Jacob's temper and I wished I could do something to alleviate that worry.

He knows, he knows what Jacob is.

We went upstairs to my apartment in silence. I could feel the anger still radiating off Jacob like he was on fire and I knew that I was in for another argument the moment we were inside. He wasn't finished with me yet. Any calmness that Jasper had managed to get out of Jacob had disappeared the second we reached my front door.

Jacob opened the door and threw my bag across the room and it landed with a thud on the floor by the couch. I waited patiently while he paced for several minutes around my small apartment. His emotions were palpable as he worked through his anger, ignoring me until he calmed himself down. It felt like eons but I knew if I interrupted him, I'd only frustrate him even further. Finally, he turned to face me, his eyebrows raised until they almost disappeared into his hairline. His large arms stretched out wide to his sides. "Well?"

"Well what?" I asked as I looked down at my feet. "I've already apologized. I don't know what more to say." I continued to look down at my feet and began to shuffle them back and forth. I felt like a kid who was being reprimanded by her father. I knew that it was completely thoughtless of me not to call Jake and let him know where I was, but I was a coward in trying to put off the inevitable fight we would get into because I was spending time with Jasper, alone. Then, I was having such a great time with Jasper that I didn't even think about checking in with Jacob. Actually, nothing else entered my mind while we were away, I was totally wrapped up in everything Jasper.

"Bella, what exactly do you not understand about a nightly check in? In order for it to work, you need to check in nightly. Dammit, you scared the shit out of me, not to mention that you had Billy sick with worry. You even had Raven upset, which means I get even more upset. I haven't slept in days. You absolutely cannot disappear like that. With your history and with everything that has happened you should know better. How could you not once consider where my thoughts would go when I couldn't get a hold of you?" Jacob put his hands to the side of his face and rubbed his forehead. He looked at me and my heart broke. It was the first time I really looked at him since Jasper dropped me off. I could see that he was telling the truth and had lost a lot of sleep because of my thoughtless behaviour. His dark eyes were so bloodshot and he looked like he was ready to break.

I felt like such a shit. "Oh, Jake, I'm so sorry. It was selfish of me to not call. I just got caught up and I didn't want to deal with another lecture and then I forgot to turn my cell back on. I will never do it again, I promise." I slowly walked toward him hoping that he would open up his arms and accept my apology. "Please forgive me."

"Come here Bells." He grabbed my wrist, pulled me into his warm body and hugged me so tight I thought I was going to break. Then, just as quickly, he yanked me back and bent over so we were eye to eye. "If you ever, EVER, put me through that again, I will personally pack up everything and bring you back home with me. You understand me? I know I was hard on you downstairs and I apologize. I should not have said what I did about Edward, but can you at least look at this from my point of view and understand why I am so upset?" He put his hands on my face to keep me from looking away when I was so ashamed. His dark chocolate eyes were pleading with me to understand why he was being so overprotective. His palms radiated a heat so hot my bones felt like they were melting.

I nodded as the tears spilled down my cheeks. I hated that I had put him through so much pain, but no matter how much he cared for me, he was going to have learn to let me live my life. While I knew that Jacob had over reacted in some aspects, I wasn't about to push the envelope any further right now. He was on edge and I had put him through the ringer. I could just imagine the thoughts that went through that thick head of his over the past 72 hours. There was no need for me to make matters worse by trying to defend my friendship with Jasper. Jake had been with me through thick and thin. After Edward left, I was a stranger, an empty body and Jacob helped rebuild me until I was a person again. Until I was as whole as he could make me. I could not fault him for being overprotective since everything in my past had required him to be so. My past actions had led to his current reaction and therefore, I really had no one to blame but myself.

However, I was still not budging on my friendship with Jasper. I was not willing to give that up. It was my ray of sunshine in an otherwise dreary existence, being so far away from home.

Jake pulled me into one of his bear hugs he knew that I loved. It felt like everything else in the world melted away and all I felt was his warmth, his love for me. We stood there for the longest time, waiting until the other had finally calmed down.

"I love you, Bells. I will fight to the ends of the earth for your safety, but I cannot condone the choices that you are making."

"Jake, I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish that you would just give Jasper a chance and you would see what a great guy he really is."

"A great guy? See? That's the problem. You refuse to see him for what he really is." Jake sighed then, crossed his arms in front of himself and he stared down at me. "I'm not budging on this, Bella."

It was an argument neither one of us would ever win. "Listen, since you are here, let's enjoy the time and not fight anymore, okay?" I wanted to do anything but fight with him. Jake reluctantly agreed. I knew him, he wanted to talk about it until he could convince me to see things his way, but he must have thought better of it as he pulled me towards the couch where we plopped down next to each other. He put his arm around me and I relaxed into his side. We used to spend hours in silence doing this exact thing when we were home in Forks. No need for words, just comfortable silence while we both got lost in our thoughts though this time was different, I felt different. All I was thinking about was Jasper and what he was doing at this exact moment. Was he thinking about me?

I couldn't wait for the moment when I could call him and hear his voice. My mind wondered back to what he said outside. He was really worried about me and seemed to really care. Could I dare dream that it was more than just feelings for a friend? Of course not, I shook my head to myself. Jasper already stressed how much we was appreciating our friendship and how he wanted to work on it. There was no way he'd want to take it further.

A light snore interrupted my thoughts as I glanced up to see that Jacob had drifted off to sleep. His face had transformed from the angry man he had just been into one of an innocent child. He was so sweet and caring and I loved him so much. I just wished he would respect my decisions, whether or not they are ones that he agreed with. Jacob's arm around my shoulders continued to get heavier and hotter as he drifted further into his sleep until I reached a point that I was no longer comfortable. Slowly and as carefully as I could, I tried to slide out from under him but the moment that I moved, he bolted upright.

"Bells!" He looked around the room and smiled at me as he fully regained consciousness. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"That's okay, you have been through a lot the last few days and are probably exhausted." I shrugged my shoulders at him in guilt.

"I think I'll hop in the shower and that should wake me up. That okay with you?" He asked as he stood and walked the bathroom.

"Sounds fine to me." I responded and shook my head as Jacob disrobed as if he didn't have an audience on his way into my tiny bathroom.

The moment the door closed behind him, I grabbed my cell phone and took the opportunity to text Jasper. There was no way that I was going to risk calling him and have Jake overhear it. After a few messages back and forth with Jasper, I was bummed that I wasn't going to see him in class tomorrow, but he mentioned that he was going to be at the library all day so I'd definitely make my way over there.

Jake came out of the shower with just his towel on. I rolled my eyes at him as he fumbled around for his pants, which he had haphazardly thrown in a ball in the corner. Jake and I were so close that his being in just a towel had no affect on me whatsoever. We had lived together in Billy's small house for so many years that I can't tell you the times I've almost run into Jake naked. Sometimes I swear he used to do it on purpose just to get a reaction out of me. Being a werewolf really takes away your inhibitions, but I wanted my first glimpse of a naked male to be of one that I loved and wanted to be with. Seeing Jake naked would be like seeing your brother naked. God, I almost vomited in my mouth thinking about it. I think it is that exact reaction which made Raven okay with me living with Jake. Not that Jake wasn't gorgeous, he really is a near perfect specimen of a man, just not my type.

What exactly is my type, I started to wonder. I thought about Logan as I avoided watching Jacob drop the towel, pull on his jeans and then finger brush his long hair. It had never occurred to me until now, but Logan could be a miniature Jake. They both had the long hair, brown eyes, were tall and muscular. Of course Logan was no where near the size of Jake, nor did he have Jake's beautiful skin tone, but there were definite similarities nonetheless.

Then I thought about Jasper. Jasper and his blond hair that was the colour of gold, his pale skin that sparkled like diamonds when the sun hit it, his golden eyes that reflected every emotion that he felt, his beautiful hands which I found myself wanting to hold on to every time we were together. My thoughts went back to our water fight in the rain and how his t-shirt stuck to his body like a second skin. The muscles in his chest leading down to well defined abs, which then led down to...UGH!! Snap out of it. Now I'm having dirty daydreams! I smiled as I was brought back to my dream of him and the amazing kiss I dreamt he gave me. I found myself absently rubbing my lips wondering what it would be like to be kissed like that for real and why was it that I had dreamt of Jasper. Yes, he had manufactured the emotions I felt , but it was not as if he could control who I thought about. What did it mean that I put him in the dream? Why not someone else like Logan or even Edward. I had never dreamt like that about Edward, ever. Seriously, I could have dreamt about Brad Pitt or ANYONE else but Jasper!!

"Earth to Bella!" Jake was waving his hands in the air like a lunatic.

"Yes?" I looked up at him as he was rummaging through my fridge.

"Where the hell is all your food? I'm starving". I laughed because Jacob being hungry was just about as normal an occurrence as water being wet.

"Yeah, like that's a shocker." I rolled my eyes at him and shoved him out of the way. I looked through the fridge and then opened the freezer only to find that he was right, I was seriously lacking in the food department.

"Why don't we head over to the pub and I'll treat you to dinner? A peace offering of sorts?" I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest. He was so warm and smelled like home, but I found myself wishing that I was wrapped around someone else. This was so not good.

"I'll take you up on that offer Bells, but first I need to call Raven and Billy and let them know you are home." He pulled out his cell and dialled. I could hear Raven pick up on the other end, excited to hear from her beloved.

After the phone call and several minutes of my grovelling with both Raven and Billy, we walked to the pub. I pointed out various places in the neighbourhood that I had mentioned to Jacob on the phone. It really was great to have him here and it made me realize that I missed him tremendously. He had helped me move up here, but only stayed a day and had to get back home so, he didn't get a chance to really check out the area.

Once we arrived at the pub, we grabbed a seat and Jacob immediately ordered enough food for ten people. While we sat there with our beers, he updated me on the garage, how Billy was doing, and life in general in Forks. It made me realize that for the first time I really wasn't missing home. Sure, I missed Jacob, but I didn't miss Forks. I was actually excited to be here and to see where this year would take me. I wondered if this new feeling of excitement has anything to do with my newly acquired relationship with Jasper? Yes, of course it did, I thought as my heart raced at the mere thought of him.

While we waited for our food, Logan approached our table. "Hello, Bella. This certainly seems to be your regular haunting place doesn't it?" He looked over at Jake and stretched out his hand. "Hello, I'm Logan."

Jacob stood up and gave his hand a good shake. I almost laughed as Logan had to look up at him and I saw shock register on his face. I am sure that Logan was not used to too many people being bigger than him, but Jake had several inches on him. "I'm Jake. Nice to meet you." Jake looked at me and raised his eyebrow. I hadn't bothered to mention Logan to Jake yet. I wasn't up for any teasing from him or any pressure to start dating, which I knew would be inevitable.

"Hi Logan. How are you?" I smiled up at him.

"I'm great, thanks. I called you on the weekend to take you up on that rain check. Did you get my message?" His eyebrows furrowed into a frown and he looked over at Jake and then back at me wondering exactly what this relationship was.

"No, sorry. I went out of town very early Friday morning and then only arrived home this afternoon to be surprised by Jake's arrival so, I haven't had a chance to check my messages." I apologized hoping that the mention of my being absent all weekend didn't put Jake back into his bad mood.

The three of us were silent as we looked at one another, waiting for someone to say something. Jake spoke up. "Logan, why don't you join us? I'd enjoy the opportunity to get to know some of the friends Bella is making here." He motioned to the chair beside me and gave me a smirk as I glared at him.

Logan looked down at me and appeared to be waiting for me to make some sort of gesture that this is what I wanted. I nodded at him and he sat down with a great big grin.

"So, you say you called Bella this weekend. Would that have been for a date?" Jake looked at me and gave me another smirk, which meant that I was in for some good old fashioning ribbing from him. Nice Jake, way to cut to the chase.

"As a matter of fact, yes, I had wanted to take Bella out for her birthday, but she was otherwise engaged." Jacob let out a loud 'humph' noise and sat back in his seat folding his arms across his chest as Logan paused before continuing most likely wondering if Jake's reaction was one of a boyfriend being territorial. "However, she did offer a rain check, which I had hoped to cash in this weekend." Logan smiled at me and looked back to Jake, trying to figure out who Jake was and, most likely, why he was being so nosey. "So, how do the two of you know each other?"

"Bells and I go way back, don't we Bells?" Jacob leaned forward in his chair and put his massive arms on the table. He grabbed his beer and took a large swig and waved the waitress back over. "I'll have another, Bells?" He gestured toward my drink as I shook my head. "Logan?"

"Yes, I'll have one of those as well. Thanks." He turned in his chair so that he was facing me. "So, exactly how far back do the two of you go?" I knew what he was getting at, but didn't feel like providing a history lesson.

"Bells and I lived together in Forks." Jacob threw out that bomb and let it sit there, festering without further explanation, as Logan looked a little shocked and slightly disappointed.

"Oh Jake, quit playing around." I kicked him under the table and he jumped in his seat. "Yes, I lived with Jacob and his father back home, but not in the way that he is trying to make you think. Jake is my best friend and, I hope you are up to it, but I believe he is going to spend the rest of the evening busting your balls." Jake just about spit his beer out across the table and then he heartily laughed as I called him out.

The rest of the evening was spent drinking, eating and laughing, a lot. The three of us had a really great time and made plans to do it again before Jake went home. I couldn't help it, but even though the night was fun and I did have a great time, it felt hollow. I missed Jasper and couldn't wait until I saw him again, which was just silly. Here I was with an incredibly hot guy that was clearly interested me and all I could do was think of someone who clearly was not.

Jake and I declined Logan's offer of a ride home and decided to enjoy the evening a bit longer with a walk. The entire way home I listened to Jake ramble on about what a great guy Logan was, how perfect he would be for me, blah, blah, blah. I let him get his say in since he was in such a great mood. I'm sure he'd have us married off by the end of the week with how much he seemed to approve of Logan. The evening had ended on such a good note that I didn't want to fight back on the Logan issue. I did like Logan. I could see myself really liking him. The question I needed to answer was, do I want to?