Chapter Twenty-one: Everyone hides something.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the original names and the ideas that weren't in the H.P. books, all that belongs to Jo. Oh and I don't own the lyrics, they belong to the Cat Empire
A.N. I know it's been a while and I appologise, school and exams and two jobs... kinda hard, but I'm back, I'm not promiing every week but I will try, I have holiday for the next two months (I still have two jobs) but I will try seriously. Thanks guys for waiting 9not that you had a choice. lol) ad there is another chappie.
Hermione was still in her beautiful dress robes. She was sitting on the top of the Astronomy Tower, the cold wind blowing right through her dress and even Dagen-Draco's cloak. She didn't take it off nd she couldn't bring herself to. After she ran and ran and finally found herself here, she didn't have any strength.
Tears fell silently onto his cloak. She made no sound that would show how she was feeling inside. She was aching inside, the hurt of being lied to and decieved. She couldn't hate Malfoy because she loved Dagen but she couldn't love Dagen because he was Malfoy. Yes he did explain to her but that couldn't erase the past five years.
A faint sound of the song played made its way up to her. She saw the little lights in the garden and listened to the words escaping through the door in the Entrance Hall.
Straining her ears she heard it.
Do you ever look around Hermione felt as if the music was flowing right through her. She could hear it perfectly now. As if she was next to the singer. She voted for the band and was right about it. It was perfect. The deep lyrics with so much meaning and feeling that she felt... It made her want to break something.
turn your ear to the ground
show your face to the sky
on a night when the skies echoe sounds
from inside of your mind
on the stage that you shone
where the sun did become you
and move with your thoughts
through the sighs and the scenes
of the worlds you have seen
and the sights that have been
your reflection in shadows and dreams?
- your reflection in shadows and dreams
Did you ever see a man
who did walk down the street
white robe with no shoes on his feet
and on top of his head place a box with two slits
and the sign from his neck said
'I do not exist'
Draco. Hermione realized what would become of him if... If... The man she knew wouldrather disappear forever than come back as a Malfoy. Still she didn't know if she could ever forgive him.
or a woman who could not remember her name
did stutter and stutter
again and again
and saw you and called you her son
her eyes said
'my being is gone
but still I'm not dead'?
Hermione felt terrible. She remembered the tears on his angelic face, she remembered the hurt in his eyes while he tried to keep his face emotionless. She could feel his hurt seeping from his warm grey eyes when he told her about his mother. She remembered the Veil and Sirius and how Harry felt dead after his Godfather's death. Another one who lost one closest to them. Now Draco lost her.
Have mercy. Hermione's sharp mind registered how much the song had to do with what she was thinking and what Draco went through... His mother's death, he lost her, He hasn't lost me!
Miserere
Have you ever seen a sound
have you listened to an image
have you ever touched a thought
have you ever tasted nothing
have you ever told a lie
that was true more than truth
because truth it had lied
all its life when it spoke to you?
But how could he lie to me all this time? Would you have honestly given him a chance if you knew who he is? No. A little voice in Hermone's head reasoned with her. Draco has done everything right. Except for the past five years of torturing us. Did he honestly think I'd forgive him this easily? No he knew. He knew yet he told me now, before any more lies could be said. He told me the truth because he loves me. Was that another lie?
And what did it say
it is that it is this
this goes here here is there
it is not yes it is
it was dulling your senses
your eyes they were bound
have you ever my friends
been looking around?
Harry didn't trust him at start either, and Ron... It was really odd that... But they don't know...
And the other replies
with a wave of a hand
I am already here
in this promised land
but not by a god and not by a king
and not by a spirit
deep from within
I love him. But can I ever fogive him? Some questions couldn't be answered but Hermione needed the answers. She was so confused. Would Draco tell others now that he told her? Should she?
I am here
because a miracle's a whim
it's a flash of glory
it's an empty tin
and maybe might lets you in
not to save you
but to keep on looking-
But Draco needs someone to be there for him. He can't do it alone. But I hate him! You hate the image. You hate the way he acted all these years. You hate lies. You don't hate him, He lost his mother. He has no one. I could be there for him. At least as a friend. But how can I be friend of someone I hated for such a long time. How can I be his friend when I love him. I want to be more than a friend. Did he break up with me? How could I just run like that?
Miserere…
Have mercy. I need to be there for him. I need him. He needs me. But...
Have you ever
been so happy that you're sad?
that the lights turn to stars
and the stars become eyes
and hello's are goodbye's
and the laughs are the sigh's
and the show disappears with the note
'until next time'
The music stopd for a few seconds before the piano and soft thump of percussion started again. Then the lead singer was joined by the others into a chorus.
Long live living Long live living Long live living How can I live like that? How can he? Hermione's mind was spinning with all the thoughts and unanswered questions. She hd to talk to him. But at the same time she couldn't.
Long live living
if living can be this
if living can be this
if living can be this
if living can be this
Do you ever look around
from inside of your mind
on the stage that you shone
where the sun did become you
and move with your thoughts
through the sighs and the scenes
of the worlds you have seen
and the sights that have been
your reflection in shadows and dreams
Do you ever look around
and find what is yet to be found?
As if the singer knew. Hermione did turn around.
" Professor Baine?"
turn your ear to the ground
show your face to the sky
on a night when the skies echoe sounds
" Hermione. I saw you talk to Malfoy." Her grey eyes were shining with anger. It wasn't directed at Hermione though.
" Did you just call him Malfoy?" Hermione's eyes widened.
Callan put her hand over her mouth. She promised she wouldn't tell.
" How do you know?" Hermione needed to know... Did everyone else know too?
" I know things Hermione. I have seen things." As if she saw the questions in Hermione's head she said. " No he didn't tell me. Hermione you have to let go off the past. He has changed." Her voice was hoarse as she spoke. it seemed as if it took her alot of effort to say it.
As Hermione studied her closely for the first time she was startled how much Callan reminded her of someone.
" You know, he's not a threat to you or Harry, Draco's changed. I know that his father was a Death Eater but so was my dear cousin Bella and that doesn't make me bad..."
Hermione realized what Callan just said.
"Bella?"
Callan tried to hide the fact that she said that and the fact that she was mentally slapping her head.
Hermione's brow was creased by a slight frown which meant that she was deep in thought. Callan wanted to reach out and smooth her frown and to stop her from thinking. Hermione thinking was dangerous.
"Sirius?"
Callan-Sirius looked up when Hermione said the name. It's sort of, like you can never stop responding when someone says your name. Damn she knows now.
"That's what I was afraid of. You figured me out just like three years ago you knew remus was a werewolf. You really are the brightest witch. Trust me not even Snape knew. "
"But how? You... You fell behind the Veil. They said you wouldn't come back."
"Well I did, it is possible to come back... Though you won't be quite the same." He smiled and looked down and Hermione couldn't help but laugh- the handsome Sirius Black- a woman.
Then Hermione remembered herself. She remembered her earlier thought, Draco lost someone and so did Harry. But the one Harry lost was back. Hermione frowned.
" Why didn't you tell Harry? "
Sirius/Callan looked deeply troubled. Grey orbs found Hermione's eyes and she could see he was upset.
"I can't. No one knows, only Dumbledore, you and I."
Little fires shone in Hermione's eyes. The same fires that shone when she was excited or interested in learning something and even more-so when she was fighting for something.
" Why? Why? You haven't seen Harry after you died! You have no idea what it did to him!"
" I.."
" Yes you! HARRY WAS HEARTBROKEN. YOU WERE HIS LAST HOPE, HIS ALMOST FATHER AND YOU COMEBACK AND YOU'RE SO SELFISH THAT YOU DON'T EVEN TELL HIM!"
Hermione was upset. Tears were streaming down her face again. "NOW I KNOW HOW HARRY FEELS. EVERYONE HIDES SOMETHING FROM HIM! AND YOU! HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE THAT I TRUSTED WILL TURN OUT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE? WILL I HAVE TO UNCOVER THEM ALL TOO? OR WILL SOMEONE ACTUALLY TELL ME? I'M SICK OF YOU ALL!"
With that Hermione stormed off leaving the upset professor behind. Hermione knew that she shouldn't have shouted at him but she couldn't help it. Another one pretending to be someone else. Another one who needed a friend. Another one she ran away from.
She heard Sirius call faintly. She tried to ignore it.
"Everyone hides something Hermione. Everyone."
Hermione used shortcuts to get to the Gryffidor tower. None of her friends were there yet. She had about five minutes before the ball would be over. After looking around for the last time she went up the stairs to boys dormitory. She needed to borrow something from Harry. A certain cloak and a map.
A.N. Hope you liked. I have to work now. unexpected turn in my life... Grrr, anyways, review and all, that was pretty longa aye.. well yep. xoxo juli
oh my god now that i was uploading it i sorta read part of the lyrics again and the part whre it says 'my being is gone but still im not dead' well its sorta like siius. just a tad. oh the song is great song called Miserere by the cat Empire awessome aussie/cuban band and yeah, download it if you can or go their site (www .thecatempite .com (without the spaces) and check them out, they need more fans.. they're sorta jazzy, alternative whatever so many different stuff they put into their music... yep