I think I'm nearing the end now guys. I've got it fairly figured out but that may of course change as I write the next few chapters (I think I've got two or three pretty much in my head) I'm really liking the way this story is panning out, and I hope the continued readers are feeling the same

Thanks for the kick ass reviews guys - really appreciate each one. And thanks for keeping the view count rolling over.

Kyle's POV

I opened the door and stepped out into the cool Colorado air, making sure to take a long deep breath through my nose. I shifted my eyes around and tried to reassemble the landscape in my head. I pulled back momentarily and threw the cab driver a twenty before grabbing my bag and heading over towards the coffee shop. I can't believe after all these years I'm actually back here. More importantly I can't believe it doesn't feel like home. And a part of me wonders if it feels that way because of a certain absence.

I enter the shop and approach the counter, ordering a coffee and reaching in to grab my wallet.

"No charge, and it's on a tab too"

I look up and it takes me a while but I slowly recall the face in front of me.

"Tweek?"

The man smiles broadly and confidently in my direction and I offer it back his way.

"How are you dude? It's been a while!"

"Still using dude after all these years? I see you haven't changed much!"

"Some things never change Tweek"

"Yep. I know that, look where I am! Couldn't escape the family business after all. Not that I mind. For what I need it for the money's great, and I got to stay with Butters after his family kind of flipped on him being with me – but we made ends meet."

"You've lost your twitch!"

"Thank him for that"

He pointed out the back and I leaned over the counter to see Butters with a pile of papers in front of him. He looks up as Tweek whistles and as he sees me he offers a big wave.

"He went to Denver for a year too, but he found an accountancy course online and decided to stay with me while he worked through it. Thanks to him we're now turning a profit in here. He'll be out in a minute. Go grab yourself a seat with them."

I turned and saw Stan and Bebe sitting at a table by the window and Stan caught my gaze as I grabbed the cup and headed their way. He stood and we hugged for a while. Even that was different, no super best friend embrace, no kiss on the cheek. Just a friendly hug between two old pals that hadn't seen each other in forever. I offered the same Bebe's way before sitting down next to her.

"Well this has been a long time coming! How've you been man?"

"Well, you have to call me Doctor now! New York was mental, and the PhD nearly killed me, but now I can walk into virtually any research company in the country and get a 6-figure salary before opening my mouth so I'd consider it worth it"

"Well that's a shite sight better than us I can tell you! But we're both happy and settled so I guess we're where we want to be at the moment."

Stan had played football for the Giants for about 8 months. I saw him on TV a bunch of times and I kind of saw it as a way of keeping in touch with him without needing to be there. He could probably be one of the best in the NFL by now, but Bebe had got a nursing degree and was working her way up in a hospital in Denver. Since she couldn't travel around with him, Stan decided to get back to his old team in Denver – for literally about a tenth of the money – and stayed with her. They'd bought a house and got engaged; damn I'd missed too much!

I kept in touch with Stan mainly through the internet sites we used as kids. I'm glad he kept Facebook going even after that big old fiasco, because otherwise we may have lost touch. I had to say I was extremely jealous of how he managed to handle moving on in life whilst keeping the past in touch. That's the reason I went to NYC in the first place – to move on. Unfortunately I was too naïve to also handle the past, and all I could remember about that moment is how similar it was to before. I hated it, I hated me and I hated him too.

After half an hour of back and forth, sharing stories and recapping memories another figure walked by and shadowed our table. Another figure we'd been waiting for. And the arrogant bastard didn't even order a coffee – Tweek brought it over and sat it in front of him like a slave. After all these years he's still an asshole…

"Here's one for you. A Jew, a hippy and a hoe are sitting in a coffee shop. The end"

We all flip him the finger before starting to laugh

"Still a fat fuck Cartman"

Which of course was bullshit. By now Cartman looked like he weighed less than me. I suppose technically Stan is now the "fat" one considering he put on some serious bulk playing football. Difference is, Marsh is all muscle. And doesn't he know it!

We finished our coffees and Stan invited us back to their house for more comfort while we talked. He also offered us their spare room, which Cartman declined; apparently not only would he not like the view of any human flesh beyond arms and face, he's also petrified of sleeping near a "Jew Rat" in case the uprising begins. I shrug it off and state I'd get a better night's sleep without his gravitational pull affecting me.

As we entered Stan's apartment I felt a sense of belonging. The décor closely matched his old house, the colour scheme, the furniture and placement. Everything. Obviously the physical layout was different but it was as close as could be.

"I see you didn't completely escape then?"

He smiled and shook his head

"Not everything about the past is worth remembering, but the past is the reason you are who you are. The past brought you to this moment, with knowledge and understanding that you wouldn't have without it. So why not hold on to the things that bring a smile to my face, or make me feel comfortable?"

"Ok what have you done with the real Stan Marsh? I knew there was something up with you!"

I playfully took his hat off and looked under it, before crossing to the cupboard and opening it to feign an investigation. He laughed me off before plopping onto the couch.

"Dude, you know how many re-runs of Jerry Springer they're showing at the moment? And how in love with that show Bebe is? I got pretty much every final thought memorised. I'm just glad I picked one there that made sense!"

Bebe comes in and jams a beer into his lap

"Don't you insult my Jerry, Mr!"

He sniggers and I join him as Bebe hands a beer my way.

"Don't you encourage him, either!"

At that point, Cartman re-enters from the bathroom and we all turn round to the sight of him buckling his belt up.

"Dude, seriously?! It's been what? Two, three years maybe and you decide its acceptable to lay a giant turd up in here?!"

"Stan, seriously… I had to take a dump, there's your toilet and I don't care. Now I see beers floating around and there isn't one in my hand… why is that I wonder?"

And right on cue Stan lifts one up by the plastic pull strap with his foot and launches it Cartman's way. It was actually pretty impressive. As Cartman caught it and opened the contents on himself (dickhead – it had just been shaken up from the launch by Stan's foot!) I slid into the armchair and turned towards the TV. As Bebe disappeared out the room with Cartman, Stan flicked the channels until he found what he was looking for. Dirty Sanchez – really!

I'd watched it a couple of times at Denver CC and in NYC, but I haven't watched it for months now. And I don't watch it because it reminds me sometimes, of what he used to do. When we were younger and everyone would pay him. The show just reminded me of him.

X X X

Stan's POV

My goal was to get him to talk, and I knew this show would probably do it. I didn't want to pry or lead him on too much in case he didn't want to talk about it – but I knew he would. Low and behold within about 5 minutes, Kyle let out a sigh loud enough for me to hear, and so I picked that moment to offer him the chance.

"S'up dude?"

"Just… stuff you know?"

"No man, I don't. Remember, we don't see each other every second of every hour of every day anymore. I still love you more than anyone, and I'd still do anything for you but we have to actually talk about stuff now we're adults you know?"

Kyle sighs before taking a quick mouthful of beer before thinking about his words. I could always tell when we were going to get deep into a conversation. I can hear the cogs grinding in his head. Just then Bebe came back into the room

"I'm gonna run to the store hun, get a few more things for dinner – anything I can get you two?"

"No I'm good thanks – CARTMAN!"

He pokes his head round the door without saying anything.

"Anything you want from the shops?"

"Yeah actually… could I get-"

"No, you can go with Bebe and decide then."

"Eh!"

Bebe knew what I was hinting at though, and pulled Cartman out the door before he could protest further. Kyle looked at me and offered thanks. Clearly I was getting rid of them so that we could talk. Bebe knew that; that's why she made an excuse to leave.

"So?"

I relaxed back into the chair, trying to give the impression that it was ok to be open. Kyle in turn leaned forward to begin.

"I just – I don't know… I just can't seem to be able to do what you do man. I thought the point of it was to leave the past behind and move on you know? I thought I needed to go out and have other experiences besides this. I know looking back I handled it wrong, but was I wrong to want what I went for?"

"Kyle, you weren't wrong for wanting something new, but if I'm honest yeah you went about it the wrong way, completely. You only really thought about yourself in the grand scheme of things. You didn't stop to think about what would happen and once you went you didn't look back."

"Stan, you did the same. You went off to play football in the big leagues and didn't realise how it affected anyone either!"

"That's true. And I do regret the way I handled things. But I didn't jump ship. I talked to Bebe about things and we worked a way round it. When it got to a point that that wasn't working anymore, we changed with each other to make things work. Plus I kept in touch with everyone I could. I didn't disappear and bury myself in what I was doing. But dude, don't take this the wrong way. I don't blame you – you had a dream and you went for it. If I were in your shoes then I'd have done the same. The difference between you and me is actually nothing to do with us – you know how he was with us. How he was during high school. He handles things differently, and the point is I don't think you knew how to handle that situation either."

Kyle looked at me slightly puzzled at the statement. I took a swig before continuing.

"Ok, here's something I didn't learn from Jerry Springer. Here's one thing my dad was very good at. And it's something none of us could control and we were probably destined to screw up from the beginning. You may be a doctor but listen to the agony aunt now ok?"

He smiled slightly at the analogy. I wasn't expecting to ever be giving advice to Kyle, more I expected this advice from him. How time has changed us.

"Right. How long have we all been friends for? 20 odd years nearly? That's a long time to be in each other's pockets for. And living in South Park you don't really get the chance to interact with very many people. When you're around people like that when you're 10 years old, man life is great. You don't really care about the bigger picture and your biggest argument is over who gets the red fire truck yeah? Or who gets to be player 1 on xbox. You have a hissy fit, break up for a week then get back together again. The problem is although you all grew up together you all have different innate abilities, hidden traits hardwired into you, and by the time you get to adulthood you have certain needs and goals you want to achieve. They are gonna differ between people, and everyone should go after that with all the energy they have. The thing is when you're as close as we all were there's also a side of us that never wants things to change, and because nothing ever changes in this town we've never really had to deal with that. Throw that unusual change in with new goals and aspirations and put it with two people that don't know how to have an adult conversation and you get what you two had."

I could see Kyle's brain slowly melting under the heat of the information I was pushing into his lap. I wasn't done yet though and I felt so high and mighty for giving him advice for once that I didn't want to stop.

"When I started playing football, especially for Denver, I met a lot of new people from new areas and with different backgrounds. It took a while but I had to adapt to them, I had to see things from their perspective, respect their wishes and discuss things with them in a way appropriate to the situation. Before you upped and left you never had that opportunity. You only ever really hung out with us in college, you never went anywhere or did anything outside the box. I can imagine that when you finally turned and wanted to go you held it in until it exploded. The thing is though, that kind of needed to happen – because otherwise you wouldn't have been able to go out and learn how to deal with that situation. In your case, you needed to sever all ties and escape somewhere else in order to grow into the adult sitting in front of me now. In your case you've had to work the opposite way, and now you've had those experiences you should be able to use all that to build up what you left behind."

"Stan that's all well and good, but my problem is I want to be back when I was 10, when we were all fucking happy you know? Not a care in the world!"

"Kyle, I'd love that too, honestly. But it's not going to happen and yeah it sucks, and I feel like crying when I think back to the times we had. But I know I can always visit them in my mind and smile at the good times. You need to talk to him, and move on in a way that's appropriate for you. Then you can look back and laugh."

"I got out the taxi when I arrived here and looked around. I didn't recognise anything. Nothing felt like home to me."

"I had that same feeling when I first came back. You know why though?"

He shook his head. To be fair I didn't know why either, but I had a theory, and right now I thought I might be able to pretend that it was the truth.

"Because the people I'd left to do my own thing, they weren't here. There wasn't something I could look past to see what happiness was still here. When I saw something that reminded me of you, it hurt, because I remember how we left each other's lives and how we weren't what we used to be. But that is where we pick up from now. We haven't talked about our reasoning for why we went separate ways, but it doesn't matter, because we can look past that and see the moment now. That's what you've learned while being away Kyle. That's why your past was vital. The way things happened was vital in shaping you. And all you need to do now is reconnect with the past in a positive way, and then you can move forward."

He took another swig of beer, eyeing me while he did it. A puzzled look appeared on his face as he noticed I didn't join him in a drink. But I think he knew what was coming anyway.

I threw my phone in his direction.

"Call him."