I mentally promised you a SUPER long chapter, so here you go. And someone asked for more variety in the POV's, so I adapted, and my plan worked better. Thanks!

LEO

The week fell apart after that. In fact, it would be considered an utter catastrophe, but everyone agreed that nothing could sum up how terrible it was. As Nico wisely said one night, the absolute general horrificness put Tartatrus to shame.

I made a scale. We all deemed it The Measurements of Doom. The first week at Hogwarts set a record. Here it is, from least horrible to most:

Losing your weapon in battle

Letting Aphrodite cabin give you a make-over

Getting horribly maimed

Giving Leo candy (there was a universal vote, so it had to go on. I didn't approve)

Dying

Pissing off the gods

Fields of Punishment

Getting sewn into Hades' underwear

Tartarus

Tartarus

Tartarus

The deepest, most hellish, darkest, murkiest, most-likely-to-die-horribly, painful parts of Tartarus

Having your soul wander forever in the deepest, most hellish, darkest, murkiest, most-likely-to-die-horribly, painful parts of Tartarus

Pissing off Percy, Jason, Thalia, or Nico

N/A

N/A

N/A

Leo, Percy, Annabeth, Hazel, Frank, Thalia, Jason, Piper and Nico's first week at Hogwarts.

This is why:

After DADA, we all promptly ditched our homework and went to Professor Dumbledore's office. He had to give us our wands.

McGonagall did something with the stone gargoyle at the front, and it turned into a moving staircase. I started to ask how it worked, but our resident son of Hades slapped one of his freakishly cold hands over my mouth and hustled me up the stairs. When we got there, Dumbledore was finishing his introductions.

" – your wand right here, Mr Jackson. Come forward."

The old man picked up a list, along with a slim box.

"You'll all excel in different types of magic," he explained. "Mr Jackson, for instance, would be particularly good at summoning water, and the spell Aguamenti. Here is your wand, Percy."

His spectacled eyes scanned the list as he handed over the box.

"Eleven inches, thin but strong, made from beech tree with a core of mermaid hair and seaweed."

Percy examined the stick and Thalia muttered, "Go figure."

Then she was beckoned forward.

"Miss Thalia." Dumbledore pressed another box into her hands. "Ten inches, sturdy and supple, made from pine tree – "

Percy snorted and giggled into his hand.

"Don't get a splinter, Grace," he whispered loudly. Thalia growled, but accepted the box.

"With a core of deer hair, no doubt to honour Lady Artemis."

Jason went next.

"Mr Grace, your wand is eleven inches, supple and thin, made from hardwood with the core of eagle feather."

"Mr di Angelo." Dumbledore gingerly handled a slim, black box. "Your wand is nine inches, graceful and hard, carved from poplar tree with a core of hellhound hair."

Nico stuck the wand straight into his pocket, twisting the ring that he'd disguised his sword as.

"Miss Piper." Piper received her wand, staring at his in awe. "Ten inches, soft and lithe, made from oak with a centre of Veela hair."

Piper looked like she was about to ask what a Veela was, but I tapped her shoulder and muttered, "I wouldn't." She didn't.

"Miss Levesque," Dumbledore said, and Hazel shuffled forward. She took the offered box and pulled out her wand. "Seven inches, short and powerful, made from poplar tree with a centre of moulded gold. Take care with it."

Hazel examined the wand.

"Professor," she said, "would I be able to summon this wand with my… er… powers because of the gold in it?"

Dumbledore's eyes glittered kindly at her.

"Indeed," he replied. "A handy trick if you are ever disarmed."

Hazel thanked him and stepped back. Frank was ushered forward.

"Mr Zhang." Dumbledore picked up another box. "Eleven inches, strong and lean, carved from elderwith a vulture feather as its core."

"Miss Chase." Annabeth stepped up and took her wand. "Ten inches, flexible and smart, made from olive tree with a core of owl feather."

I fidgeted nervously. I was next.

"Mr Valdez."

I put an easy grin on my face and waltzed up to Dumbledore. He handed over my box with a smile.

"Nine inches, hard and enduring, carved from ash with a centre of phoenix feather."

I turned the wand over in my hands, staring at it. I could tell from touching it that it wasn't automaton – this was the real thing. I started to get excited-

-which of course caused the tip of my new wand to burst into flames.

I started freaking out.

"Percy!" I yelled. "Do that water spell!"

"Man, I don't know how to do that!" He replied as he and the others backed away from the magic fire.

"Mr Valdez," Dumbledore suddenly said, "it's okay. I probably should have warned you that your natural power will react with your wand. You'll be able to cast a very powerful Incendeo charm indeed."

"So, this is kind of okay?" I asked hesitantly, staring at the burning tips. Then I noticed that the wand wasn't a charred mess, and the fire wasn't consuming it. It was staying at the top, and I waved it experimentally.

"For the love of Aphrodite, never do that again!" Piper screamed as the fire swept over them. I dropped the wand and smiled sheepishly. It spluttered and went out. Dumbledore smiled kindly.

"Well, thank you for that demonstration, Mr Valdez."

"I'll say," Frank muttered, patting his pockets protectively. Hazel touched his arm comfortingly and blinked at Leo, a small smile on her face. Percy snorted and Annabeth slapped him gently.

"Anyway children, with that over, I suppose you're wondering about the message I sent to Mr di Angelo earlier."

"Uh, yes!" Thalia exclaimed. "You want us to tell them we're demigods?"

Dumbledore steepled his fingers as he sat down.

"It would be for your own safety, children. I'm afraid that your lack of… er, stealth, in the area of not proclaiming your heritage has failed. Miss Thalia's lightning powers has aroused suspicion amongst the students, and I'm afraid Professor Umbridge has actually filed an arrest order against Mr di Angelo under the law against Dark Magic for his shadow-travelling. We have a word for that in the wizarding world, and Umbrakenesis is only practiced by dark wizards. Also, Professor Trelawney has foreseen mass amounts of destruction in the coming week caused by you all."

"That sounds quite accurate, actually," Percy commented, and I giggled. Dumbledore have a soft sigh of amusement.

"Well, as a descendent of one of the hosts of the Oracle of Delphi, along with a curse that dates back to the Ancient times of Greece, she gives accurate prophecies, yet no one believes her. And I have been informed that the coming hardships are unavoidable. So, we will endure them, but this weekend after they have passed, you will announce your status."

"With all titles?" I asked. Again, we made praying motions.

"Yes," Dumbledore said, a small grin on his face, "all titles."

Percy groaned, and started begging Annabeth to write them down for him. Jason did too, as did we all. I noted to ask the other guys if we could have a session to help us remember all our titles.

"What I don't understand," Nico suddenly said, "is why I can't just go to prison."

We all froze and looked at him. He narrowed his brows.

"Well, she's filed an arrest order. And if it's already in motion, we could just blame all these 'oncoming doom' events on me and my Dark Magic, and no one need know we're demigods."

Dumbledore readjusted his glasses.

"True, Mr di Angelo," he conceded, "but you're needed to defeat Lord Voldemort. And I am well aware you can control the Demetors, and an escape from Azkaban would not help us, especially if the escapee was a past student who still had friends at the school."

"Who said anything about escaping?" Nico demanded. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You did," I said, "just now."

He scowled and looked away. I clapped my hands.

"Well, that's settled," I said, flourishing my wand in the air. "Now, fellow male demigods, I decree, under the order of Supreme Commander Valdez, that you shall help me, and by default, yourselves, to remember all titles and create a discreet yet immodestly large list of them!"

Silence snuffed the room for a moment, before everyone blinked in unison and cracked up. Even Dumbledore have an old cackle, while Nico hugged the shadows and Percy writhed on the floor. Frank leant on his knees and Jason doubled himself and Piper over as they both giggled. Annabeth covered her mouth and laughed behind her hand while Hazel rubbed her forehead, snorting. Thalia was biting her tongue to stop herself laughing out loud.

"Did you swallow a dictionary, Valdez?" She asked, sounding choked. I put my hands on my hips and smiled toothily.

"I have a natural ability to be sophisticated," I announced.

The fun stopped there, though.

After much giggling, I did get our Guys Club together and we got our lists sorted. They were all ridiculously long, even mine, but that may be because of the other random titles I'd added.

The next morning, breakfast was rather subdued. The weight of the soon-to-be-ruined week rested on all our shoulders, and even Hermione bagging Ron for his messy eating didn't crack a smile. Harry looked over us all.

"What's wrong?"

I huffed into my bacon.

"Impending doom, memorising lists, keeping Nico out of jail and, inevitably, the fact that none of us should ever go undercover as spies seeing as we can't even keep our identities secret for more than a week."

Harry blew a low whistle.

"That bad, hu?" He said. My elbow banged the table.

"You have no idea."

"Leo, doom-and-gloom is Nico's thing, stick to your gadgets," Percy scolded half-heartedly. I swatted his arm.

"Whatever, Water Boy," I huffed. Then I perked up. "Percy!"

He looked at me strangely. "Yeah?" Everyone else went quiet and looked over too.

"This week's meant to be sucktastic, right?" I asked rhetorically. Piper nodded.

"Point?"

I reached into my tool belt and brought out a slim machine.

"Well, if we're going to set the school on fire, we're going to have danger music."

They all gave the iPod varying looks before Hermione squeaked, "But, mechanical things don't work at Hogwarts!"

"Maybe that's true for non-Valdez-made objects," I said, "but not these babies."

"Sweet!" Percy yelped. "I always thought my battles lacked something."

"Indeed they did, man," I said, grinning. "Indeed they did."

The first havoc of the oncoming disastrous week took the form of –

"Valdez."

I stopped, my supplied bookbag thumping my leg as I did. I turned my head slightly to see the sneering and slightly-taller-than-me form of Draco Malfoy, sided by his buddies Crabbe and Goyle.

"Sup, Draco," I said cheerily, thinking this was an awesome way to get out of class. I never got my punch in when he insulted us and Harry, after all.

We were in some corridor, and I was on my way to another DADA lesson. The others were gone already, but I'd needed my special package with me, so had gone to get it. Hence I was holding my books while Festus lived it up inside my bag.

Malfoy scorned me with his glare.

"You know your friend di Angelo?" He started. I shrugged.

"I'd hope so," I quipped. "Not much of a friendship if I didn't know him."

Malfoy snarled, as did Crabbe and Goyle. I took a step back, thinking my books would get more air time if I threw them from a little further away. They stepped forward. There went that plan.

"Well, hey, we need to get to class and – "

"Not so fast."

"Oh yes," I replied, grinning, "fast."

I ditched my books – couldn't read them anyway – and secured my bag before zipping forward and making for the end of the corridor. I heard Malfoy shout something, and a burst of light, and my ADHD warned me to move. I did, and a spell cast by the cheating weasel behind me hit the wall. I scowled.

"Coward!" I yelled over my shoulder.

"I'm not the one running!" He shouted back. I didn't reply, not caring.

Suddenly another spell soared forward, and I blame my jittery system for jumping in the firing line. It hit me square in the back and I was propelled forward. I hit the ground in a steaming mess, my anger starting to get out of control. I pushed myself to my knees.

"Wha- that was a stunning spell!"

I looked up as Malfoy ran forward and towered over me. He raised his wand again.

"You're all up to something," he said. I flashed him a grin filled with hate before I jumped to my feet.

"True," I replied, snatching his wand, "and when it goes down, it'll be hot."

And with that terrible pun said, my hands burst into flames.

I skipped DADA, and the nest lesson, and the one after that. So next time I saw my friends, it was lunch. They sat down around me, Nico and Thalia ignoring their house table and plonking their butts with the Gryffindor's. No other Hogwarts students besides Harry, Ron and Hermione would sit with us anymore, which I was fine with.

"Leo, where were you? You missed three lessons!" Annabeth scolded as she filled her plate. Percy gave me a subtle thumbs up. I rubbed my neck.

"Yeah, about that…"

"Attention, students!" A cry came from the teachers table, and we looked up to see Umbridge – totally unauthorized – taking the place behind the lectern reserved for Dumbledore. She was shaking with triumphant fury, and her gaze raked over the pupils.

"We have had a security breach!" She shrieked, and I winced a little. "A dragon was seen flying over the Astronomy tower, and it had a rider!"

Nico whacked his head as he slipped under the table to giggle his heart out as everyone looked at me. I shrugged.

"Hey," I defended, "I had a bad morning."

"And one of our star students – Mr Draco Malfoy – has been hospitalised for severe burns and trauma."

"I can tell," Thalia replied to my earlier statement, a grin evident in her voice. I groaned.

"I didn't even touch him," I grumbled. "I just set his robes on fire, which, if he was smart, he would have taken off."

Percy hugged his stomach and cackled soundlessly as McGonagall shoved Umbridge off the stage and we resumed our lunch. I caught Jason's half disapproving, half amused look, and did a small bow.

The next day, I did get to first period. Malfoy was out of the hospital wing – wizard magic – and was glaring at me like I was responsible for the destruction of the entire world. I just stuck my tongue out at him and twiddled my wand before maturely storming away. Just seeing him put me in a bad mood.

We were all aware – thanks to my actions yesterday – that our Week-o-Doom had begun, so no one fought the inevitable and accepted the incident without batting an eye. The other students, however, were muttering. Seemed Malfoy had been spreading rumours.

"…said he did it wandless…"

"…just appeared in his hand…"

"…tried to arrest di Angelo, maybe they work together…"

The first lesson was Care of Magical Creatures – a double period –, and some old bat was teaching us about some kind of worm. I wasn't listening, if you didn't catch that.

I didn't know how far into the double lesson it was, but I did know that when the tree-line of the Forbidden Forest practically exploded, our trouble for today had just begun.

I am so sorry for not updating, but I hit a bump in this chapter and had to do some weaving to get around it. But it's finished now – and extra long! Enjoy, and please review!