Crack!Fic! Warning: Strangeness ensues... Guest stars: Piotr, Sergei and Semyon.
The buzz faded, then halted all together. Sergei froze. Wonderful... he had no idea where it was. He listened, but it didn't start up again. He switched off the light, and the buzz started again, so, in an instant, he clicked the light on again. "Tam on yest'!" (There he is) Sergei growled out the exclamation, and lunged forward, fly-swatter wapping toward the large horse-fly that had managed to get into Vladimir's office.
Piotr spun around, wide eyes searching for the tiny bug. In his hands he held a bucket of water, and with a grunt and a heave, he tossed the water towards the flying insect - in the same instant as Sergei leapt forward.
"AAWAWGHGHHH!" The loud shout burst from Sergei as water splooshed all over him. He growled and waved a hand at Piotr. "Ostorozhno!" (Careful)
Semyon burst into the room at that moment. (Sergei had sent him to get something else with which to go after the insect.) "Pytat'sya eto." (Try this) he stated, tossing a bottle of cologne toward Piotr. With that, Semyon took a look at Sergei and cocked his head. Sergei responded with a growl and a wave of his hand.
"Eezveeneete!" (Sorry!) Piotr set down the now-empty bucket after catching the cologne, and rolled up his sleeves, eyes suspiciously eying the roof.
Semyon kept one of the bottles for himself. First, he attempted to get the bug by tossing the bottle up. It thumped the roof, and missed, falling back down into Semyon's waiting hand.
Piotr held the bottle, and as a little black blur raced towards his face, he sent a long spray towards it. It barely slowed it down. It hit his face and he madly waved his arms, "Podozhdite! Nyet!" (Wait! No!)
Semyon laughed, but his laughter was cut short as a wave of strong cologne hit him in the face. He coughed, sputtered, and spat.
Sergei leapt into action, chasing after the fly and smacking at it. He missed, and it buzzed off, heading toward the desk. Sergei chased after the blur, with the other men not too far behind.
Piotr stopped them both by holding up his hand. They halted, and he listened for that familiar sound... There it was. He followed it, and soon his gaze was locked on the target. The demonic creature lazily flew before Semyon.
Piotr slowly held up the can in his hand, and pressed his finger down, dousing Semyon in the scent.
"AAAGHpmmmm! NYET! Piotr!" Semyon held his hands in front of his face and coughed, gagging on cologne. He hated that smell now, and decided he was going to throw it away as soon as he got the chance.
WAP! The flyswatter came down on the table as Sergei took another swat at the fly. He hoped they could catch it before Vladimir got back... he hated flies, and when he wasn't happy, no one was.
"Sergei!" Piotr suddenly exclaimed, pointing at where the fly had once again landed - this time on the door.
Sergei meandered toward it, grumbling quietly all the way. He took aim, and the flyswatter was swinging toward the door-when it opened.
"AAmm HHMMGG mhhf!" Sergei exclaimed, quickly changing course of the flyswatter, and tossing it over his shoulder (Accidently hitting Seymon with it) "Vladimir!"
Vladimir frowned and looked around Sergei at the two other men. "Shto ty zdes' delayesh'?" (What are you doing here?)
Anatoly followed in after Vladimir. The man briefly paused, a look of confusion being his expression. It morphed into disgust as his eyes settled onto the fly, following its every movements.
Sergei saw the expression, and he coughed, looking down at the floor. "My ot nego izbavit'sya." (We'll get rid of it)
Vlad nodded and turned, leaving the room without further questions. He hated flies... or, more specifically, the annoying buzz that followed them.
Anatoly nodded slowly, and backed up before turning around and once more following Vladimir - right back out of the office.
With a held-back cry of frustration, Piotr slammed his hand against the table - right where the fly had been only seconds prier to him doing so.
The bug landed on the wall, and with a last ditch attempt, Sergei jumped at it, smashing his fist on the wall. His fist, the wall, and the insect shared the same space for a moment... then he peeled back his hand, revealing the flattened bug... and a goo smear. "otvratitel'no..." (Disgusting...) Sergei wiped off his hand, and turned to the others. He nodded to the door and lead the "charge".
Well: This was based of of real life! BASED OFF OF A TRUE STORY, hahaha.