Hope you all had a great new year! So glad last year is finally over, it really was a shit one.

A couple things!

1) You will hate me and love me for this chapter! But pls don't hate me I'll fix it, 2) Short smutty stuff in this chapter ;), 3) Next week will be a little different so make sure to read my authors note at the bottom of this chapter! 4) sorry this is late! My internet wasn't working!

Dear Diary,

The last month has been great. Since Damon and I made up, we've been inseparable and it's been amazing. I never knew I could love someone as much as I do Damon. He is...my everything. And that's why, I've decided to let my theory go. He's changed me, and I owe it to him to forget. To not worry about anything other than him. I like to think I've completely let it go sometimes but the truth is, I'm getting there. I try to forget as much as I can, but it will pop into my brain when I have nothing else to think about. It's like it's trying to make me hang onto it before I completely let it go. I'm not giving in though. I made a promise to Damon and I intend on keeping it. I'm letting it go. I'm sure he knows it will take time. All I know is if I want Damon, I need to move on. Damon's enough of a silver lining for me and as soon as I completely detach myself from this idea, everything will be perfect.

As much as the last month has been great, I've felt like something's missing. I've been missing Bonnie. I honestly thought she would've at least messaged me by now, but I can't really talk. I've been too scared to message her. In some ways, I was right. She shouldn't have gone out with my ex and blamed me for breaking our promise, but I definitely overreacted and didn't think about my own actions and her feelings. I should've come up with other ways to make her forget and I should've let the Jace thing go. I see that now. But I don't know if Bonnie will forgive me, and I can't stand the thought of being without her any longer. We were best friends. We are best friends. She's a huge chunk of my life and I need her back with me. I need to talk to her. I'm sure if we talked it out we could see eye to eye. I just haven't found the time and I don't know if she wants to talk to me. Maybe I'll text her and see if she replies.

Caroline said when I'm ready she'll arrange for Bonnie and I to talk. I'm assuming she plans to trick us into going out with her and lock us in a room together. If that's the only way I can see Bonnie, I guess I'll settle.

I honestly just hope Bonnie doesn't hate me and we can go back to being friends soon. I've been having some nightmares about that actually.

― Elena.

"Elena?" Damon asked, wiping the sweat off her forehead. "Elena?" He repeated, gently shaking her so she could wake up. "Elena!" He yelled, shaking her a little harder. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him. She must have been crying in her sleep because the her eyes were red, swollen and wet.

"Damon?" She croaked, sitting up and throwing herself on his stiff figure.

"It's okay, I'm here." He pulled her close to his chest and stroked her hair softly as she let everything out.

"B-Bonnie hat-es me-e." She stuttered. He could feel his skin bleed as she dug her nails into his back, but he didn't care. He gently pressed his lips against her forehead and rubbed her skin in large circles, hoping to calm her down.

He was going to say 'she doesn't hate you', but knowing that would just make her feel worse, he opt for; "It's not real."

"I-I know, but I'm sc-ared, Da-mon." She breathed, trying to steady her breath. She wasn't crying anymore, but there was a huge lump in her throat still. "Wha-t if she n-never forgives me-e?"

"Hey, don't think like that. You've been best friends for years, I'm sure she's missing you just as much as you're missing her." He assured her. "Go back to sleep."

"I can't now." She mumbled, lying down on top of her sheets, looking up at Damon. "Plus, I'm starving."

"I'll go get you some blood." He smiled, hopping off the bed and walking out of the room. "I love you." He called. When she didn't answer, he turned and slowly walked back into the room. "Elena?" He asked, heading to her side of the bed. He looked down at her peaceful sleeping body and smiled to himself, covering her in the sheets.

Since he was already up, he threw a pair of jeans on and made his way downstairs, pouring himself some bourbon. It was 3am, but he didn't care. He opened the bottom draw on his bourbon table in the parlour and pulled out the little black velvet box he had been admiring for the past month. He sat down next to the fire place in the parlour and opened the little black box, fiddling with the ring in his fingers. Damon hadn't been sappy or thoughtful since 1864 and he was having great difficulty figuring out how and when to pop the question. Honestly, he thought Elena would be fine with a simple proposal at home. He was more scared of rejection. He knew Elena loved him to bits, but if she wasn't ready for marriage and he asked her at the wrong time, he could ruin everything. It didn't matter whether Elena was 170 years old or 20 years old, sometimes you're just not ready. Damon didn't think he'd ever be ready, until a few months ago. He just hoped she was ready. Damon could wait forever for Elena, but if she'd never be ready, what did that mean?

He'd been trying to push all his negative thoughts down and just think of ways he could propose, but it wasn't easy. All he could come up with was dinner. That's it. Not even how he would do it, just where. He was pathetic at this. He decided he finally needed some help. Stefan was staying at Caroline's, so his only option was Ric. He'd be good at this right? He had proposed three times. He pulled out his phone and dialled his friend.

"Hello?" He answered, sounding like he was just woken up.

"Hey Ric. I need your help." Damon replied.

"Really Damon, right now?" He asked. "I was sleeping."

"Yes now. I didn't know friendship had a bedtime." Damon joked.

"What do you want?" He grunted.

"You know how I was going to propose to Elena?"

"Yeah."

"Well I don't know how to do it, and I thought you'd be able to help me since you've done it three times." Damon explained.

"I think I'm retired in the romantic department buddy. Go ask Stefan." Ric rolled his eyes.

"I need you Ric."He whined.

"Fine." Ric sighed. "Um...do you have a place that is special to the both of you?"

"We've done it a lot of places, Ric." He laughed.

"Not like that idiot. Somewhere you both went together that symbolises you're relationship."

"Like what? Give me an example."

"God you're hopeless at this." Ric mumbled under his breath. "Like the place you kissed her for the first time or the first step in your relationship."

"Um...well we kissed on the night we met but I wouldn't say it counted as the first time we really kissed. The first real kiss was...in Georgia!" Damon yelled, not knowing how he didn't think of it earlier. "Ric, you're a genius."

"I know. I'm pretty great. I wonder what my exes would call me."

"Nothing, they're all dead." Damon chuckled.

"Thanks for that."

"What are friends for?"

"Not that." Ric exhaled. "Anyway, good luck with Elena."

"Thanks buddy. Hey if she says yes―" Damon started.

"No I will not be your best man."Ric cut him off.

"What, why not?" He asked.

"Because Stefan should be your best man."

"Stefan's my little bro and even though he's infuriating, I love him, but you're my best friend." He argued.

"Stefan will be your best man and that's final."

"I was your best man!"

"I don't have a brother."Ric laughed.

"Ric listen―" Damon started. "He hung up on me."

Elena woke up with her head pounding. She was uncomfortable and sitting up. Her head was leaning against a window and her vision was blurry. When her eyes adjusted, she saw nothing but road. She was in a car. She turned her head to see Damon driving.

"Morning."

"Again?" She asked, smiling. He carried her again. She giggled inwardly, remembering her reaction the first time he kidnapped her. Frantic, hesitant, annoyed. The second time she was calm, collected, ecstatic. This time? Happy, fuzzy, warm. Both times she went on a road trip with him, they made it into her top five memories of Damon and her. Georgia beat the last time by about 0.5% just because it was the first time he had taken her anywhere and it was where they sort of became official. It was their first real kiss. Of course he didn't disappoint in New York, but Georgia was special. Now she wondered where he'd take her this time. "Again, you could've just asked me to go somewhere with you."

"You finally looked peaceful in your sleep. I didn't want to wake you." He smiled.

"Thank you." She smiled back. "Where are we this time?"

"It's a surprise." He stated, glancing over at her.

"Really?" She raised a brow, licking her dry lips as she adjusted in her seat. "I hate surprises."

"Well you'll love this one, I promise." He simpered.

"Fine, I trust you." She smiled softly.

"Good." He smirked, leaning over to give her a quick peck.

"I feel like I've seen that bar before." Elena mumbled confusedly. As they slowly passed a building she focused on the old arched sign reading 'Bree's BAR' in light blue writing. "Bree's Bar." She read. "Bree's Bar." She repeated. "I've been here before."

"You have?" Damon asks, trying not to sound suspicious.

"I don't know when, but I think I've been here. Or at least seen this place."

"Heaps of bars look like that." He shrugged, driving quickly so she couldn't dwell on it for too long. Damon had been to Georgia about seven times by now, once with Elena, and he always took the same dirt road all the way through. He probably should've thought about her remembering the way but he hoped she wouldn't.

"I guess." She pursed her lips to the right, watching his face. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but there was definitely something off about the way he was acting. Maybe he was just tired? Still, Elena had never seen it before. He was hiding something. Well, he was hiding a few things. 1) That they were in Georgia, 2) that he was planning to propose tonight, and 3) that he was taking her to the same small hotel as last time. She decided to brush it off and try and occupy herself. "I'm bored."

"Let's play a game."

"Okay." She nodded.

"You're human. Five years from now, where are you?" Damon asked.

"Easy. With you." She shrugged.

"Boring." He teased. "I'll need a zip code."

"Ok. Uh, in a loft in Tribeca above the bar that you work at."

"I'm a bus boy in your fantasy?" He asked, furrowing those perfect brows.

"Ok. You...you own the bar," She stuttered. "and when you're not working there, you're...you're on our couch, pouring me wine and massaging my feet after a long day at the O.R. I'm in the surgical residency program."

"Of course you are." He smirked. "Kids?"

"Yeah, of course, eventually, but we should, um, probably have two, you know, so they can keep each other company when we're, you know, distracted by other things." She hinted.

"Hmm." He hummed. "You got it all figured out, don't you?"

"How about you? Your turn. 5 years from now, where are you?"

"We're here." He diverted.

"Where are we?" Elena asked as he pulled up on a random sidewalk. The next turn was that hotel in the middle of nowhere.

"That's for me to know and you to...Dot. Dot. Dot." He smirked, putting emphasis on the 'Dot. Dot. Dot' as the opened her door for her.

"Very funny." She giggled, stepping out of the car, remembering Georgia and how he said that to her when they went to that hotel. For some reason everything felt oddly familiar. Like déjà vu. Yes, he said that same line on a road trip they took ages ago as he held the door open for her, but not just that. It was something else. She frowned it off and joined him on the random empty sidewalk.

"Put this on." He told her, handing her a long, skinny, black piece of fabric. It looked like a bandana without any patterns on it.

"Is this the part where you drug me?" She asked, scrunching her face as she looked down at the material.

"Put it on." He laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Really? Being shady again?" She asked, folding the black band, holding it over her eyes and tying it at the back of her head. "Fine."

"Here, hold onto me." He said, linking his arm with hers and leading her.

"So how far do we have to walk?" She questioned, gripping his arm tight.

"Patience, young grasshopper." He joked. "Not far."

"Good." She smiled, following his direction. After about six minutes of walking, they reached the hotel. He led her inside and told her not to move, leaving her sitting on a small bench. She could've easily taken the blindfold off but it obviously meant a lot to Damon and she thought it was kind of fun anyway. After he returned, he led her up some stairs and down some hallways until they reached their room. He buzzed the key card and slowly walked her in, closing the door behind him. "Can I take this thing off now?"

"Go ahead." He smiled. As she pulled the bow on the back of the material and it slipped off her eyes, she took a second to figure out where she was. She gasped as she glanced over at the small single bed in the corner of the little room.

"Now way." She mouthed as she turned to Damon, her eyes finally clouding with happy tears instead of miserable ones.

"Well, there is way because we're here right now and—" He started, interrupted by a pair of long arms squeezing him tightly.

"Thank you." She breathed, looking up at him.

"No thanks necessary." She smirked, leaning down to catch her lips.

"Thank you, Damon." She simpered, stroking his dark locks. "I needed this."

"Don't mention it." He stated, letting his hands travel to her waist as he dipped his head to reach hers again.

"You drove me to Georgia to stay in a hotel for one night." She stated. Last time it was a question, but this time it was more of a praise. "I love you."

"I love you too." He grinned. "There's a restaurant downstairs. I booked it for 6:30."

"You're amazing." She smiled to herself. She really couldn't believe how lucky she was to have Damon in her life. He was literally her other half, and she was happy to say that she was on the final stages of letting go for him. A few days and she'd be completely over it. This pushed her even closer to the end of her theory.

"We have twenty minutes. You wanna go to the bar while we wait?" He asked.

"I have something better in mind." She gnawed on her lower lip, pulling his face back down to hers. She wanted to repay him for everything he did. She wanted to please him and leave him in awe too. But since they were already in a hotel room. She'd be repaying him in a different way. She kicked her leg around his lower back and he picked her up in response, holding her tightly as he lay her down. He stood on his knees and tugged his shirt over his head, her honey hues gazing directly into his cobalt as he tossed it aside. She followed suit, lifting her shirt off the same way. He held her back above the bed and swiftly unclipped her red bralette, leaning down to reconnect their lips.

"You're right." He hummed, biting his lip as chocolate met sapphire. Her hues darted to his as he moved onto her chest. "This is better."

"Definitely." She exhaled, threading her fingers through his knots as he sucked the skin at the top of her panties. Her eyes fluttered back as he slid them off, grazing a wide strip across the middle of her with his tongue. "Damon, we don't have time for that."

Without words he stood up and dropped his jeans and boxers to the ground, quickly returning to the small bed and stopping at her entrance. As he slowly entered her, she tensed. He started to move and she gripped on to his back. His thrusts built in momentum and force and eventually she was having small spasms. She always had them pre-orgasm. She looked up at him and saw a whorl of emotion in his eyes. She was the luckiest woman in the world to have someone like Damon. Sex wasn't just sex for him. Well especially not since Damon and Elena started having it. It is stuffed to the brim with all his emotions and love and it makes her fall even deeper when he loves her. Deeper than with anyone else. The deeper he plunged into her the deeper she fell and it was so hard to do anything. To take control. No, he had all the control and he loved her so deep that she couldn't reverse the roles no matter how hard she tried.

He moved his hand to her face to keep the two hues aligned and her body began to rapture into bliss. She moaned against his ear, her nails ripping through the sheets as he hit that spot.

"God," She huffed as she released everything. He followed shortly after, slowing down to still as he pulled out. "I love you."

"I love you too." He heaved. "We should go."

"Yeah."

Damon and Elena headed downstairs to the restaurant he had booked. He had reserved a booth and they had already ordered their entrees.

"What do you want for dinner?" He asked, swallowing a huge sip of bourbon nervously. What they did in the room half an hour ago definitely gave him a confidence boost, but he was still extremely nervous. He was about to ask the most important question he could ever ask and it scared him. Sure, he knew she loved him but that didn't confirm that she'd say yes. Nothing ever would. So Damon was scared shitless.

"Eggplant parmesan looks good." She smiled, looking down at her menu. He smirked to himself, remembering that 'first date' they had at the clock tower ages ago when Elena could only think of one food that was healthy that she liked; eggplant. "What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. After a few moments of silence, he started to feel anxious again. 'What if she says no? What do I do? Should I wait? No I came all this way. Stop being a pussy.' He repeated in his head. For a second there he didn't feel nervous, but it didn't last long. Again it was eating away at him. He needed to ask the god damn question or it would kill him before the end of this dinner. 'Fuck it, it's now or never' . He decided to ditch the rest of his plans and go for it. It'd be the same answer in the end, right? Not knowing was killing him. "Elena?"

"Yeah?" She answered, looking up at him all doe eyed. 'Get it together Salvatore.'

"Um..." He trailed, looking down at his empty glass nervously.

"What?" She asked, raising a perfectly trimmed brow. She could tell he was very anxious, but she had no Idea why. "Damon, whatever it is, tell me."

"Here goes." He whispered. "Elena, you are my life. You know that. And...I couldn't imagine a world without you. I met you in the dark and you lit me up. I've never loved anyone so deeply before and I never thought I'd find someone who is even worthy of comparison to you. I never thought I'd be asking anyone this question."

"Damon." She glared at him. She knew what he was about to ask her and she was hoping to god that he didn't. If he asked her that question, everything would be ruined. She was so close to forgetting about all the bullshit but he just needed to wait a little longer.

"What I'm horribly failing at, but trying to say is..." He started, pulling the little black box out of his pocket and kneeling on the floor. Usually he would think this is pathetic, but he didn't care for once.

"Damon, I-" She shook her head. Fuck no. Please no.

"I want to be with you for the rest of my endless life. And I know this Elena, I love you. And I will love you until I take my last breath on this Earth. So marry me?" Damon asked, opening the box to reveal a white gold band with a huge rock on it. Elena looked straight down at him from her chair. Expressionless on the outside but filled with emotions on the inside. At first she was overjoyed. Spending eternity with Damon was everything she'd ever hoped for. But the problem was; remember how she said her theory was like ice over a lake? When the ice melted the clear water would escape. Yeah, well now, there were only tiny little ice cubes in the lake and hearing those beautiful words made the process reverse when it was so close to being over. The ice cubes that were about to melt completely, were now freezing again.

That theory was literally the death of her and now it had fucked everything up. 'I have control.' she told herself. 'I do.' she told herself. But this stupid theory was screaming in her mind saying 'don't do this to him, you know it's going to end and you'll ruin him worse than last time. you'll ruin you too.' Why? Fucks sake. Fucking why did she have to be like this. Why did she have to make all her decisions based off of one dumb idea that she made up in her darkest time. She wanted so badly to scream 'Yes! I do! I love you. We're forever.' but this theory controlled her. She couldn't physically get those words out. What was worse was that he took her to her favourite place, in the most significant way possible, poured his love into her less than an hour ago, and she couldn't say those simple words she so desperately wanted to. she had never wanted anything more than to say those three words.

A surge of pain jolted through her body filling her with darkness and heartbreak. She could already see on his face, he knew. He knew she wasn't going to say yes. But he didn't know she couldn't physically do it. He was hopeful at the beginning of the minute, but now, he knew she wasn't going to be his wife. Why? Because now he knew she hadn't forgotten about that theory and now she knew that too. Even if she wanted to, it wouldn't go away.

Humanity is nasty and there are no silver linings. But for a different reason. Because humanity and this world gave Elena and Damon this shit-hole of a turnout. Because Elena's humanity, made her leave him behind. Because Elena's humanity was the death of any silver lining she had. Because Elena's humanity was nasty, and it made her ruin him. Now he was ruined and it was all her fault. No matter what she did, she'd hurt him. Before she could hurt him more, she sped away. Where? She didn't know. He took her to Georgia and proposed to her and she literally left him without anything in return. Well, she did leave him with more and more hurt. But this wasn't the end for Damon and Elena. No. Damon and Elena are never forgotten till the world ends and the stars fall down from the sky. Elena Gilbert needed to fight this on her own. It wasn't going to go away by itself. She learned that the hard way.

I know you all hate me! Don't worry we are literally near the end of the book! I have to fix it don't I! I'm a sucker for happy endings! Elena will fix this in the best way possible! Please don't be discouraged to read now. Next chappie is way better and is THE LAST chappie! So I have to fix it! So keep reading! Dw there will be an EPILOGUE too! two more weeks :O

P.S. Next week I'll be posting on THURSDAY because I'm away with no wifi all week next week until then! Sorry :((

Please review! Thank you to all the reviews xoxox

I WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!