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And Yet They Shine
Chapter 21: Taut
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He had green eyes.
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Bella didn't know what it meant, but once the thought took hold, she couldn't let it go. And it wasn't a thought, it was…it was a fact.
He had green eyes.
The more she thought about it, the clearer it became in her mind, until she could see them, his eyes, dark green and filled with anger, or light and filled with joy. Melancholy turned them olive green, and when he was truly happy, they were the shade of fresh-cut grass in the summer - dark and bright, all at once.
Try as she might, she couldn't see the rest of him. Was he handsome? Did it even matter what the rest of him looked like? Who wouldn't yearn for a smile from those eyes?
Isabella completed her last exams for the year and settled in to solve the mystery of this man. She sought sleep, not for escape, but because she knew that the key to this secret lay deep within her dreams, and she was determined to find it.
Outside, in the world, she searched for him everywhere. She sought the eyes of every man that she passed on the street, peering into them, looking for the green that would put her at ease. Once there was a man, a boy, really, who served her coffee. The snap of color in his eyes was close, and for a moment, her thoughts stuttered. But then she blinked and she knew that this boy wasn't him. And he was who she needed.
Perhaps if it was only the green eyes, the certainty of them, Isabella could have moved on. Perhaps she could have given up, chalked it up to déjà vu, or something equally strange and unexplainable.
But, it wasn't just the eyes. It was…everything.
The magnolias that bloomed and rained down onto her street, they made her think of her small hands in a man's larger ones. The library entrance with its Grecian columns scaled with ivy. It was familiar to her in a way that was like a memory, but not of those columns. Some other columns.
The memory-dreams tormented her. She felt like she was missing something, something huge, but couldn't see what it was.
And each evening, the water called her near. Sitting there on the sand, watching the sun spin itself down to the water, she could close her eyes and listen to the heartbeat of the earth itself, the waves pounding their relentless rhythm onto the shore. She inhaled the heady scent of salt and sand, now and then, something on the breeze made her heart and stomach clench, and she knew that that too, was him. Everything was always about him.
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Standing in line at the grocery store, Isabella's attention was drawn to the woman who stood in line before her. She was small and looked youthful, maybe Bella's age or younger, but there was something about her that made Bella think she was an old soul.
The woman had short dark hair that fell around her face in soft waves, and her clothing was light and gauzy, pretty. Bella searched within herself, but couldn't think of where she'd seen the woman before.
"I'm so sorry, I don't usually do this, but I have the strangest feeling that I know you."
The girl turned, and in a moment, Bella saw his face. He was, oh, gods, he was so handsome. Her heart and stomach clutched up as her mind's eye looked him over. He was tall, so tall. Wavy hair that was brown and red and gold and he was grinning at someone, at her, she thought, with a canted smile that tilted her world.
"I don't think so," the woman said, and feeling of déjà vu washed over her again.
Bella realized she was staring and found her voice.
"We haven't met before? You're sure?"
The woman placed her hand on Isabella's arm, and the sound of the ocean filled her ears. "Not in this world," she whispered, and then walked away.
Bella felt the ground slip out from under her before everything went black.
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When she awoke, Bella stared up into the concerned eyes of the people around her. There was a woman with caramel colored hair and kind eyes, and Bella wanted to hug her. She knew that the woman would smell of home. Of childhood happiness, of being cared for.
"You okay, honey?" Her voice was like a song, a pretty little lilt to it. Oh, gods, what was going on? Was she losing her damned mind?
"I just…I'm sorry. I'm fine."
The woman held out her hand and helped Bella up. She felt comfort, such comfort, coming from the woman's touch. Bella knew she'd felt that before, and recently.
She looked down and around. Her grocery basket was filled with pomegranates, and while she'd never tried the fruit before, she knew exactly what it would taste like, sweet and sour and bitter against her tongue.
Her mind raced and her skin felt too tight, taut against her bones as she tried to make sense of the flood of images in her mind.
There was a place, she'd gone…underneath. With him. He'd held her close and there was a tortoise shell and the waters were dark and a dog, oh, the biggest dog she'd ever seen and he'd bowed his head at her like she was his mistress. There were rivers, too, and people but they weren't people, they were lost and some of them damned and she wanted to help them but mostly she just wanted him.
His name danced on the back of her tongue, a tickle at the base of her skull. He was out there, he was…waiting. He needed her; she knew it. Knew it like she knew that all of the things that she thought were dreams were real. That the monsters and terrors and the man, her man, all of it was real.
"I have to go," she said, and struggled out of the hands that held her. "I have to – he's waiting!" The woman with the kind eyes let go of her hold, and Bella jerked free. She ran to her car and drove to the ocean, ignoring every traffic law that she'd ever known. He was waiting!
Running across the bluff, she loosed the thin scarf that clung to her neck. It was constraining and confining and she needed…she needed to be free of everything so that she could find him. It was all that mattered as her feet flew across the soft grasses and down the smooth steps to the sandy beach below.
She searched the beach up and down, eyes wide and frantic. Her hair danced with the wind and she ignored the cries of the gulls above, seeking only his face, a face she knew was real. She knew it.
As she raced up and down the beach finding nothing and no one, her mind began to panic. Maybe she was crazy. Maybe she was slipping into delusion so deep that she had made up a person, an entire world that wasn't real.
Maybe.
She sat down on the shore, watching the water flirt with the sand in the pale moonlight. There was a sliver of a moon above, and a thin cloud cover hid the stars from her sight. She closed her eyes and leaned back on her hands, letting the sound and smell of the ocean wash over her.
She had been here once before, desperate and bewildered by something out of her control. She had sought answers from a beautiful man who had broken her heart, a man warm like the sunshine, with golden skin and hair and eyes.
The memories that had hazed grew more clear with each wave that crashed against the shore.
She'd been heartbroken and returned to the ocean, to this very beach, because the golden one had promised her…something. Something about a wish. And when she'd arrived, there was nothing, but then she'd turned and –
Isabella rose from the sand, keeping her eyes on the water before her. There was excitement, anticipating, climbing up her spine and resting beneath her breast, making her heart beat hard.
Her breath trembled as she turned and looked toward the steps.
Standing against the banister, one foot resting on the bottom step, was the man she'd seen every night in her dreams. He wore a suit and his shoes held a shine despite the dust of the sand. He was tall and slim, with broad shoulders and thick, wayward hair that stood in every direction at once. It glinted bronze in the moonlight and her fingertips remembered that it was very, very soft. He drank her in with his eyes and she could see them burning, bright green.
Him.
Edward.
"I've been looking for you," she said. She held out her hand. Her heart punched a staccato beat inside of her chest. Her mouth did not smile. Still, she felt compelled to be near him. She took a single step forward.
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Writing as quickly as I can. Thank you for reading. Your kind words this week have meant the world to me.