Standard disclaimers apply here.
upon a red balloon
She woke up with her cheek plastered to the floor. The marble felt cool against her skin. One arm curled underneath her side, the hand of the other flat on the floor. She sat up, touching her forehead; a dull ache descended there, threatening to become overwhelming. She stretched the folded arm out in front of her. Red marks on it startled her.
"Le-na-lee." The voice echoed through the halls. She looked around wildly, loose hair flying and making herself dizzy. She stopped, shutting her eyes and trying to quell the nausea that boiled up inside of her. Open again.
Eight paths. She gazed up: a dome. Light filtered through the rounded windows, little green panels dotting the ceiling. A painting graced the middle of it, too far away for her to make out. Then, there was a little red dot.
She squinted. Was that…a heart up there? She could not tell. Standing, she brushed off her long, white dress and stared up. No. A balloon. What was it doing up there?
It wiggled – did it? No, she was sure of it. It did move.
"The hea-art." It haunted her, that echo. She spun, trying to find its source. Nothing – wait.
A flash in the West hall – behind wall between it and the – South West – disappeared until it showed up in the – South. It moved too fast. Gathering up her skirts, she ran toward the South East, snagging a coattail.
Riiiiiiip. Her grip would not loosen, and a piece of fabric came away in her hand.
"Wait!" she yelled, stumbling. She lost her balance, landing on her elbows. Ow. Her head throbbed. She looked, checking for damage. There was none.
She no longer held the piece of coat, but a note. Go to it, it ordered her. You will understand.
"Understand? What will I understand?" she muttered. She stood, finding a stain on her dress. She brushed at it, scrubbed at it, but it stayed.
In doing this, she did not realize the note had been engulfed in flames. Embers of it remained on the floor as it burned itself, disappearing without a trace.
The staircase up to the first floor was wide. Her skirts dragged against the steps before she picked them up. At the top, she turned left and right – which way could she go? This was East, wasn't it?
"Madam, what are you doing here?" Lenalee jumped, cried out; she spun to find a man leaning against the rail between staircases. The swirled marble rose and dipped in an outward curve, five small columns underneath it. He smiled at her; it was an untrustworthy smile.
"Where did you come from?" she asked, approaching him. Suspicion dominated her features; if he discerned this, it did not bother him. He leered, and she dropped her skirts, covering her legs.
"I've always been here," he informed her, catching her hand and kissing it. He bowed his head a bit, barely breaking eye contact. "Don't you remember?"
"Remember?" she repeated. Her confusion made him drop her hand. A top hat appeared on his head, and he tipped it.
"I must be going." He hopped over the railing without pause.
"Wha-wait!" She leaned over it to see if he was all right. The man stood there, beginning to hum as he walked away. She raced down the stairs, tripping over her skirt and tumbling over the rest. She held her head in her arms, whimpering in pain.
Laughter filled the halls. She squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to stay where she was forever. She didn't have to do anything, did she? But something compelled her to move; to go on.
"West," it told her, "go West."
Lenalee tried to find the voice, but she was alone. The man whom she spoke with disappeared into the shadows.
How anyone was supposed to navigate these halls, she did not know. They were identical. She took a sharp corner; there it was: she could see the area she woke up in, now one floor above it.
"If you keep wandering around you won't get anything done." A child's voice came from behind her. She turned to find a girl licking a lollipop.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded, though she took a step back. A sense of dread filled her; maybe she could jump down like that man had. He had made it just fine, who was to say she wouldn't?
"I'm always here," the girl responded, skipping toward her. Lenalee backed up, but stopped. It was just a little girl, right? "Like you have been – repeating this endless cycle because you still haven't been able to figure it out."
"Figure what out?" The girl held out her hand, an umbrella floating over into it. She opened it, flying up into the air. She laughed, the sound enough to send a shiver down Lenalee's spine.
"Maybe you'll get it one day," she mocked, disappearing over the edge of one of the higher floors.
"One day?" She had only been wandering for an hour, if that! What did she mean?
"Hea-art, the heart. Get to it!" The voice snapped at her. Its impatience reverberated through the open area.
"Where?" she cried. "Where is it?" She had been wandering for hours. She poked her head into rooms with unfamiliar names, finding them empty.
"You're thinking too low." She turned to find another man behind her; she no longer felt surprised. She felt used to having people sneak up on her, even though this was the third time.
"Where am I supposed to go?" The eye patch might have put her off otherwise, but she found she didn't care about it now. He laughed a bit and pushed some red hair back, blinking at her – or did he wink? Perhaps he had.
"If I told you that it would take all of the fun away," he told her, eye sparkling and prepared to tease. She stiffened, but then saw a flash in her peripheral vision. She turned her head to the side to see it; too late. It was gone.
"Did you see that?" she cried, frustrated. The dome filled with bright light as the sun came out from behind a cloud. It reflected off the gold-covered ceilings, calling to her.
"Look up," the man whispered, close to her ear. She backed away; he turned and walked in the opposite direction.
She did as he said, and then back down, finding him gone like the rest. The red balloon taunted her when she gazed up once more.
Up higher still, she plopped down in front of a large room. The word above it was unreadable. Fatigue threatened to take her. She studied the large diamonds and triangles that fit together to form the floor.
A finger touched her cheek. She started and looked around, lurching to her right. She ran into a pair of legs.
Lenalee glanced up, finding a man with dark hair above her. She grabbed on to his pant leg, pressing her face into the fabric. She inhaled, exhaled, and sighed after. She could not explain the need to do it; she just knew she had to.
"Are you going to disappear like the rest?" she asked, pulling back. She didn't know why she wanted him not to, but the feeling was there, dancing in her chest. His brow furrowed, the corners of his lips turning down.
"If you want," he said, voice even and expression smoothing. He started to move.
"No! N-no, I don't want to be alone," she pleaded, clinging to him. She felt pathetic. He regarded her for a long moment.
"You aren't," he informed her, reaching down to her. She shook her head, ignoring it and letting go of him.
"You don't understand," she cried, frustrated. "Everyone – they're not –"
But he turned and started to leave. Irritated, she got up and ran after him, tripping once more and surely knocking into him. Somehow, she didn't. He faced her before she could crash, grabbing her arms and holding her up.
"Sa-afe. Sa-afe." The voice now mocked them, and his lips set in a hard line.
"I must go." He righted her, let go, and walked away like they all had.
"No – I – you – ugh!" The crack of her heel against the floor sounded so loud to her ears she was sure it would echo.
Instead, silence filled the halls.
Only authorized personnel are allowed on the viewing deck.
"Authorized personnel?" she repeated after reading it. She cocked her head to the side. It didn't help her discern the meaning.
A quick look around told her she was alone. No one could stop her or tell her what to do. She ran up the stairs, nonetheless, skirts hiked up to her knees. Someone could come after her, and she needed to move her legs freely. Besides...
She felt close to something.
The deck itself was small, the railing old and not sturdy. She watched her step instead of looking around.
"Here, here," the voice sang out. It sounded gleeful, but had an edge she could not figure out.
Glancing up, there it was: the heart balloon. It didn't move under her gaze, but when she ran around the deck to it, it shuddered. She assumed it was from her dashing, reaching for it without a second thought.
The railing creaked and moved with her, but she leaned farther and farther anyway. Just a little bit...more –
It gave way under her as the balloon jumped away from her hand. Her throat closed as she plummeted down, unable to scream.
She lost consciousness on the floor, arm curled underneath her side.
Her head hurt terribly but she didn't know why. She was on the floor of a magnificent building that she didn't recognize. She sat up as light burst through the windows. Above her, the gold ceiling sparkled.
A dot of red caught her attention.
"The hea-art," a voice rolled through the halls, haunting them. A ghost? Lenalee shivered.
A gloved hand appeared in front of her face. She recoiled, surprised, but realized the hand belonged to a rather benevolent looking young man.
"Do you need help?" he asked, taking her hand and pulling her up off the floor. She gazed down, seeing two stains on her dress. How did those get there?
"I – don't know," she admitted, her head throbbing.
"Le-na-lee." She jerked, eyes flitting here and there as she tried to locate the source of the noise.
"Did you hear that?" she asked, almost whispering and not certain why. He neither nodded nor shook his head.
"Where are you going?" He squeezed her hand, and she stared at him.
"Where am I supposed to go?" she blurted out. Why had she said that? It made no sense; she didn't even know why she was there to begin with!
The young man leaned closer, his brown hair tickling her face as he whispered into her ear. "To the heart."
She blinked, looking up and regretting it after the pain in her head. After shutting her eyes to make the throbbing dull, she opened them to find him gone.
Lenalee turned, and saw a flash – West. She ran toward it, hoping it might lead to something and not certain it would.
Her shoes sounded so loud in the empty halls. The clattering began to get on her nerves – as much as the stains in her dress.
She took them off, holding onto the shoes in case she needed to put them back on for some reason. They seemed unnecessary – as she stepped on the cool marble floor with its squares and ovals, diamonds and triangles, she couldn't see any reason why she should have something on her feet.
She padded along, the slight swish of her skirts the only noise that could be heard. After some time, she found herself at the bottom of a staircase to the second floor – having already ascended the stairs to the first after the flash.
The moment she looked up, a figure appeared. He regarded her and left after that one look. Feeling a pull, she threw her shoes away and dashed up the stairs, skirt in hands.
The hall was empty when she arrived on the floor. "Now where did he go?" she muttered to herself, tiptoeing though she didn't need to.
As she turned the corner, a loud crack echoed in the building. Lenalee ducked, covering her ears. Mocking laughter filled her ears as she lifted her head to gaze around.
"She still hasn't figured it out."
"Nope, hee!" She bristled at the accusations, standing up straight and finding two men standing there. The guns they held made her step back.
"Figured what out?" she asked anyway, prepared to duck or run; whichever worked best.
This made the two laugh more. They turned and ran, still giggling. She tried to follow them, going against her instincts, but when she found herself out in the open of the dome again, they were gone.
Above her, the red balloon shivered.
She was ready to cry out in annoyance, to say she gave up. She had no clues as she wandered the third floor.
Humming caught her attention, and she followed it almost blindly. Bursting into the room without knocking, she found herself almost face to face with a woman. A veil covered her eyes.
"Do you hurt?" she asked, forgoing introductions and pleasantries. Lenalee nodded and winced. "Come here, child."
She approached the woman – taking only a few steps – and stopped in front of her. A kiss in the middle of her forehead shouldn't have done anything, but the pain disappeared.
"Wha-"
"You can move on now," the woman told her, dismissing her though her voice retained its kind tone.
"Where?" Lenalee asked, impatient and tired. The light waned and it didn't appear that any candles would be lit.
"You'll know when you get there." The woman walked away, going over to a desk and picking something up. The lost girl knew she should not stay, so she left.
The woman hummed as she had been before, the door moving slowly to close by itself.
Brilliant artificial light spilled down to the floor, the fixtures humming as they chased the darkness away. Lenalee yawned, covering her mouth with her left hand but not stifling it. She swayed, running in to a wall.
Warm, strong hands grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back.
"Sleep," called the voice, sounding tired itself. She tried to see who was guiding her, but her vision became blurry and she could not make out his features.
"Where are we going?" she demanded, her words dulled by fatigue. She received no response; whoever it was, he led her to a grand door. He threw it open; she stumbled into it when she moved forward.
Her vision cleared, and she took in her surroundings: a large room with red, lush-looking carpets. Two half circles of desks took up the room, but she saw it: a blanket and pillow, red as the floor it rested on.
She did not remember going over to it and falling asleep. She did not dream.
The light on the floor seemed to move when she awoke; when she looked up she found herself under a large, round stained glass window. Her neck hurt again. The pillow disappeared.
Huffing as she reentered the halls, she rubbed at her shoulder, hand moving higher. In the corner of her eye, there was a flash – someone moving.
Lenalee chased after them this time, and nearly caught him. She could not figure out why the black hair sparked a feeling of familiarity in her. She had to stop; her breath was all but gone.
An acrid smell reached her nose before she caught it; she coughed and stood up. Leaning against the rail was yet another man, idly smoking. He watched her, flicking away the cigarette and exhaling once more.
"What?" she asked. "What am I supposed to do?" She ran up to him and grabbed his coat. She could have shaken him, but she didn't.
He removed her hands from his coat, regarding her with one eye. A mask covered half of his face. "Think," he told her, walking away.
"Think," taunted the voice. Then its laughter danced in and out of the arches, down over the rails. She covered her ears and shut her eyes, wishing she were somewhere else.
Anywhere.
When she opened her eyes, Lenalee found herself on the ground floor again. Why? She thought wildly. She dashed toward the North stairs.
They all kept telling her to find it, go to the heart. As she held her head and shut everything out, it came to her. It seemed like the most obvious thing in the world.
She knew now. She should have known all along.
The heart balloon brushed against the ceiling, appearing to move. Lenalee shook her head. She happened to glance down and regretted it. Fear gripped her and her stomach tightened; the sheer height of it disturbed her so. But she had to keep going.
Taking careful steps, she walked around the deck to it. It wiggled – it must have! It couldn't have been an illusion! There - again! It had to have been her movement - she could think of no other explanation.
Pulling in a deep breath, she reached. She reached for the heart that everyone – everything – kept telling her to find. So close, so close.
She snatched at air, curling her fingers like claws. She almost lost her balance, but managed to catch herself. Another calming breath, another try.
The same outcome: nothing.
She steeled herself; she'd have to do it. Taking a step back, she launched herself into the air; the railing she managed to step on and used for leverage.
She flew.
It was a stupid move; it was a dangerous move. It was the right one. She could not grab the balloon, but swiping at it caused it to pop – burst. A brilliant light filled the dome, and confetti fell like snow.
The sound reverberated through the building like a shot, echoing back to her.
She plummeted. She remembered.
Multiple tries – four, no five, no six – no, more. She did not know how many times she tried and failed. She'd always fall, land on the ground, and forget. Start over from stage one. But this had to be it. She did it. This was the end!
What would she do?
As she prepared to hit the floor hard, she braced herself and shut her eyes.
Three, two, one...
And instead of cold marble again, she felt warmth: two arms supporting her as she blacked out.
"What are we going to do? She's been unconscious since you brought her out of the building."
"She'll wake up." The voices set off an alarm in her head; she knew them. Her eyes fluttered open.
"Lenalee? Hey, she's awake!" She winced as Allen called to the others.
"What happened?" A cool compress found its way to her hot forehead.
"You were pulled into that building – the one the people said was haunted." She opened her eyes a bit, blinking as the light became too much. "We couldn't find you for a while."
Building? That building where they say you get tested...or was it something else?
"How'd I get here?" Lenalee noticed the other presence in the room. Kanda stood in the corner, arms crossed but listening.
"You...jumped over the rail on that deck," Allen said slowly. "Kanda managed to catch you, but you wouldn't wake up. It's been a day."
She felt feverish as well; what had that done to her? "Did you...?"
"Of course," Kanda responded. The shadows covered half his face.
"Are you hungry? I can get you something –" Allen started toward the door before she could say anything.
"No, no, I'm not hungry," she protested, but he was gone. She had the suspicion that he just wanted to eat, and her mouth curved into a smile. "Kanda," she called weakly, "come here." She beckoned to him as well.
He did as she asked, kneeling down next to her. She groped for his hand and found it without too much trouble – she suspected he moved it so she could grab it.
"Thank you," she said, "for catching me." She laced their fingers together, thinking of what happened in that building – in that fantasy she had been given – and wanted to ask him to stay. Somehow her voice left her before she could.
It didn't matter; he understood and didn't respond to her thanks. She wondered if he had a similar experience – if they overlapped because she saw him, but dismissed the thought.
When she started to doze not long after, she felt him remove his hand from hers. She might have groped for his hand again but didn't feel she could - she was so tired.
The bed dipped as he sat. He wrapped his fingers the hand he had held before, and she fell asleep with it surrounding hers.
Notes: Haha yeah. I got the idea while watching the newer version of Alice in Wonderland a second time (with someone who hadn't seen it). The building I tried to describe is the Capitol here. I'm sure I didn't do it justice. The red balloon also exists, though its purpose and symbolism now is harder to explain (succinctly, at least).
Anyway, some parts don't make sense but they're not supposed to. :D It's meant to be a little incoherent and choppy. I didn't want it to be a "oh it's all a dream" thing because that has little payoff. An akuma-induced fantasy might not have been any better, but you know. Oh, and she didn't jump multiple times like she pictured in her head; it was just that once. The rushing around was real, but without the...splat.
Thanks for the lovely reviews~. I'm so bad at responding now. I'll get on that this time...hopefully.