Glitter and Gold
Chapter 21
33 ABY – D'Qar
Poe couldn't imagine how that woman had convinced Leia to trust her so easily. He'd seen them together – Leia holding the Reaper's son and snuggling him close, along with that Twi'lek woman that used to spy for her. As if they were some little family. Vex walked around the base freely – she was even allowed in the control room as they discussed strategies and plans.
He didn't know why it rankled him so much. Leia was a good judge of character – he knew that. If Leia saw Vex as trustworthy, Poe believed her. But he couldn't shake this strange feeling… there was something about Vex that urged caution.
Poe believed that Vex had escaped the First Order in order to protect her son. But desperation drove people to do strange and terrible things. If she perceived a threat to the life of her son, she could, and Poe believed would betray them.
"General," Poe greeted, hands on his hips.
Leia sighed, leaning forward in her seat to rest an elbow on the table before her. "Not this again, Poe," she groaned.
He sat down beside her, brushing a stray curl back from his forehead. "I just want to advise caution,"
Leia let out a sharp laugh. "You? Caution?" she questioned.
Poe sighed, loudly. "Yeah, I know, sounds rich coming from me, but there's jus something I don't trust about her," he acknowledged.
Leia sighed again, leaning back in her seat. "It's as you said when you brought her in, Poe. She's a mother, scared for her son. She's willing to fight for him, and for us. Poe, she's a Jedi. We can't lose her – we need her," she chided, beginning to look angry.
"Despite what you might think, Poe, as much as I like you, I can't and won't put your suspicions above the well-being of the rebellion," she said vehemently as his expression contorted in shock. "You have no idea what Vex went through to get here," Leia hissed, gripping him by the collar.
The shock that crossed Poe's face was only there for a moment. "Fine, take her word over mine!" Poe growled, ripping away from Leia's grasp and stormed from the room, roughly shouldering past Vex in the doorway.
She flattened herself to the wall, eyebrows raised as she watched Poe leave in a huff. Leia groaned, slumping in her chair. "He's still suspicious," Vex murmured, stepping into the room. EV-9 whirled into the room after her, greeting Leia with a trill.
Leia let out a bitter chuckle, rubbing her forehead tiredly. "Oh, yeah," she muttered, letting out another sigh. "You're not helping anything by acting so aloof," Leia pointed out.
Vex hummed softly as she approached, dragging her fingers across the rough surface of the table, feeling the whorls of the wood grain. She leaned up against the edge, fingers twisting in her lap. Leia glanced up, seeing the younger woman's face creased with uncertainty. "I'm not trying to be like this. I…I just don't know how to get him to trust me. I was raised by Snoke, Leia. It shouldn't be a surprise that I'm not good at making friends," Vex prattled on, trailing off when Leia reached over and touched her hand.
"I get it, Vex, it's okay," Leia said gently, stroking a thumb over the back of Vex's hand in a motherly gesture. "It'd make my life a little easier if you did, though," she added, forcing a chuckle from the young woman.
Vex drew in a deep breath, pushing her thick, burgundy braid over her left shoulder. "I didn't come here to make your life easier. I came to keep Ani safe, and end the First Order," she said uneasily.
"I know," Leia said, patting her hand again.
Vex pushed away from the table, shaking off Leia's hand. "Then why haven't you sent him away yet? Every moment he's here, he's in danger. You know that the First Order would destroy this place if they knew we were here, Leia. And you're just leaving Ani here?!" Vex questioned, pacing back and forth.
Leia stilled, leaning back in her seat. Her lips thinned. "He's in no more danger than the other children on this planet," she pointed out.
Vex froze in her spot, face paling. Her hands began to wring again. It took her a few moments to find her words again. "I know you want to spend time with Ani. It's not like I want to be away from him either. But he is in more danger, Leia. Anakin is the son of the Reaper and the Jedi Killer. Snoke laid claim to him before he was even born. There's nothing he wouldn't do to get his hands on my son! You swore to me-" Vex began, tone panicked.
"- I will, Vex!" Leia interrupted. She pushed her chair back from the table to stand. "We have to pick where Ayla'Lyn takes him carefully! It has to be a safe place among people we can trust," she reassured, making her way over to Vex. EV-9 tried to lend her comfort too, bumping her body against Vex's foot.
The older woman wrapped her arms around Vex's shoulders, allowing her to lean into the motherly embrace. Vex's voice was quiet when she spoke. "If I lose him, Leia…I will have no reason to go on. Without him, I would still be there. Under Snoke's thumb. Without Ani, there will be no light left in me. I don't want to be that person again,"
"I won't let that happen, Vex. I promise," Leia said, expression creasing with concern. "We'll start making preparations, right away, alright?"
Vex nodded, relaxing in Leia's grasp. It grieved Leia to have to send her newly discovered grandson away – especially before she could reach Han, but frankly she needed Vex more. And Vex had her heart set on Ayla'Lyn taking Anakin into hiding. There was no one else Leia would have trusted with the task, to be honest. But still, the thought of being separated from Anakin made her heart ache.
The business of leading rebellions made everything seem so impermanent. She could die at any moment and Leia would never see her family again. No Han, no Ben, no Luke. And now, no Anakin.
But the rebellion needed Vex more than Leia needed her grandson. And the galaxy needed the rebellion. Vex had already given them invaluable information about the inner workings of the First Order, of Snoke. She knew the terrible man better than anyone as his forcefully-adopted daughter. Leia now knew that he was arrogant, but powerful and cunning, and that Vex had learned much from him. She'd even devised her own little mind trick to hide her secrets from him.
Vex was worth any cow-towing Leia had to do to keep her happy. Not that she was demanding, Leia had to say. The only thing she wanted was her son to be kept safe. As painful as it was for Vex and Leia both. Otherwise, Vex had shown herself to be a quiet and thoughtful young woman, scarred by her painful upbringing at Snoke's hands. She was priceless to the rebellion.
Vex had even volunteered to teach her mind trick to those capable – few as they were. It required an awareness of their own mind and how to protect it – it came much more easily to those who were Force-sensitive. Vex had easily taught it to Leia and would begin teaching others in the next coming days.
Her intel was priceless. She'd told them how the Stormtroopers weren't evil. How when she'd been a child, just taken from her parents and Ayla'Lyn, they'd been the only ones to comfort her. That they were just like her, raised for their task and given no choice in the matter. How her Killtroopers were undoubtedly loyal to her and only her – and if she could reach them, they would defect to the rebellion to follow her.
And then, perhaps the most promising revelation was the implant behind Vex's ear. It was a small chip that allowed First Order personnel to avoid setting off alarm sensors. It could allow a rebellion spy to enter a First Order base undetected. Vex had allowed a med tech to remove hers so they could analyze it and attempt to replicate it.
The only possible downside of the intelligence Vex had delivered was that it could be outdated. She'd escaped the First Order almost two years ago now and had been kept cloistered in her quarters for a year before that. They would have to put out feelers to see if her information still held true – and figure out just what the First Order was working on now.
The moment Vex had left Leia's side, she knew he was following her. Even without EV-9 trilling out a warning, she'd felt him just a few steps behind her. She spun on her heel to face him, surprising the pilot on her heels. "Say what you have to say, get it over with," Vex growled out, hands tightening into fists at her sides.
All she'd wanted was to get Anakin and enjoy dinner with her son. But not with Poe Dameron haunting her every step. He'd followed and observed her for weeks now, and Vex had had enough.
Poe took a half-step back, surprised by her bluntness. He schooled his expression back to seriousness. "You could go back to the First Order anytime you want and be welcomed back with open arms. Especially with what you know about the rebellion now. Why haven't you?" he asked.
Vex flinched back as if she'd been struck, mouth falling open. That terrible blank expression swiftly slid back into place, but not before Poe had seen the pain in her eyes. "Just because I was kept well-fed and clothed, and had some small amount of autonomy didn't make me any less of a slave," she spat. "Snoke didn't need to put a collar around my neck to control me. He had years to bend me to his will," she continued, closing the distance between them to grip the fabric of his shirt and shove him back against the wall.
Poe stayed still, silent, his eyes wide at the icy fury staring back at him. "Do you know what it feels like to have your mind pierced and then torn apart? To be tortured for the mere thought of rebellion? Escape?" Vex questioned coolly, even when her eyes burned with intensity. Poe was fixated by it. "I knew it when I was six, Dameron. What Snoke did to me then was child's play compared to what he'd do to me now, after what I've done," she hissed, releasing her grip on his shirt and stepping back.
Poe was still held to the wall, and by the way her hand was still outstretched, he knew it was the Force. "There is no one in the galaxy that has suffered more at Snoke's hands than me. Question my resolve in destroying him, and the First Order again, Dameron. Push me again and see how much of the dark side is left inside me," Vex warned, holding him just long enough to ensure he'd gotten the message.
After a few moments, Poe slid to the floor as she released him, hastily getting his feet beneath him to stand up as she turned away. There was a dark ball of shame and pain inside him, imagining the little girl Vex had once been – scared and alone in Snoke's grasp. "I get that you've been through terrible things, Vex," he began boldly. Vex froze where she was, wondering just how much of that bravery was stupidity. "But how can we trust you, knowing what you've done?" he questioned.
She turned her head to eye him, frown pulling at her features. "The only person who still seems to doubt me is you, Dameron. Perhaps the fault lies there. I have nothing to prove to you," Vex hissed, leaving without waiting for his response.
Poe considered her words thoughtfully, a heaviness in his chest. A sudden shock to his leg had a cry escaping his lips, forcing him to jump back. "Ow!" he yelled. EV-9, Vex's droid had shocked him, letting out a shrill list of uncouth warnings before following after her master.
"Dammit!" Poe muttered, thumping a fist against the wall.
Half an hour later, Vex was feeling much calmer. She'd gotten Anakin from Ayla'Lyn's care and taken him to the mess hall for dinner. Ever since their arrival here, Vex had begun to wean him off of her breast milk, and onto a diet of pureed fruits, vegetables, and meat. He was down to only one meal of her milk a day now, and within a week, she'd cut it away entirely.
She had to admit she'd miss the closeness of breast-feeding her son, but at the same time, she definitely felt less cowish. Feeding Ani with a spoon was a new and daunting task, as the little boy would rather play with the colorful foods than eat them. Eating took twice as long and twice as much persistence now.
In those weeks, Vex had made three tentative friends, though it was more through their determination than hers. Jessika Pava, Paige Tico and her perpetually late younger sister Rose had sat down at Vex's table the second night after she'd arrived. She'd been trying to feed Ani – for the very first time with pureed fruit, and the three young women had cooed over her boy as they ate. Ani had loved the attention, preening under their adoring gazes, and had made feeding even more difficult.
Vex had been uncomfortable and unsure at first, but the three women had been relentless. They sat down with her and Ani every night at dinner, and tried to draw her in to their conversation. It'd been four days before Vex had been brave enough to join in, and another three before she'd figured out how.
It wasn't like she had any real acquaintances in the First Order. The closest she'd been was her Killtroopers, and they'd been encoded to listen to her. And Kylo Ren definitely didn't count in experience making friends. But three weeks after her arrival, Vex had three solid, burgeoning friendships.
Gregarious Jessika Pava had led the operation. She was one of Poe's pilots, and very quick to point out that Poe was acting like a bonehead and wasn't really like that. Then there was bold Paige, who was in everlasting big sister mode, and seemed to be determined to take Vex on as a second sister.
And then there was quiet but definitely not timid Rose. There was a certain quiet kinship she shared with Vex. Thirsty for knowledge, Rose had endless questions about all the things Vex had seen – mostly for the tech. Vex had happily given her an old datapad loaded with old books and manuals she'd used when building EV-9.
They'd even begun tinkering together, beginning to build a new droid modeled after EV-9 with a sleek, round body. Rose and Vex shared a love of the mechanics and it had startled her with just how quickly the friendship between them had grown when she wasn't even looking.
Rose sought her out each morning at breakfast to discuss their plans for the day, and when they'd meet to tinker. Once there, they worked together seamlessly, designing the new droid EV-9 dreaded would replace her. It'd taken Vex much reassurance to convince the droid she was safe and would always remain at her side.
Rose was two years younger than Vex at twenty-one, and had a certain naivete about her that was unfamiliar to Vex. Rose was sweet and kind and untried in this cruel galaxy. She was easily swayed and sometimes tricked, though her loyalty was unshakeable. A quiet girl with stars in her eyes. Vex didn't know that feeling. Rose had made it to twenty-one with her innocence still intact. Vex didn't think she'd lasted past three.
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