Disclaimer: I still do not own SVU or any of its characters

So wow. It's been over a year since I last updated this, and let me tell you I feel ashamed about it. I could go on and on about having felt like I basically lost my soul and how I haven't slept or had emotions (other than anxiety or anger) in about a year and a half and therefore haven't had the fuel or the energy to write, but I wouldn't want to bore anyone. So instead I'm just going to say, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Was that enough? Lol. I also want to say that I can't promise that I'll post another chapter any time soon. I've been writing a few hundred words or so for different stories of mine like once a week for about a month though so I'm hoping that's a sign that, even though I still don't really have emotions, I will be able to get back into writing. This chapter took me three or four different sessions to finish, the last one being about the last thousand and a half words which is the most I've written in a long time. It doesn't seem like much but I feel accomplished. So like I said, I hope all this is a sign that I'll be able to write again soon, but I won't promise anything. I'm hoping that knowing exactly how I want it to go from here will help too. Cross your fingers! Lol. And let me know what you think. I'm not quite sure if this is any good, but I can't really tell…

PS: I recommend rereading the last chapter since it's been so long. But in case you don't want to or can't, here's a short recap. Lewis and some men found Olivia and Amanda in the woods because they were going to arrest Liv for "kidnapping" the King's wife (a.k.a. Casey), though the reality was that Casey wanted to leave because Lewis tortured her and she wanted to be with the woman she loved (a.k.a. Alex) and Olivia just helped them get out, and for having a relationship he/they deem unnatural with Amanda, whom is not human but rather a dragon shapeshifter stuck in a mostly human form but with wings; Amanda offers herself in Olivia's place and Lewis accepts, binding Amanda and banishing Olivia. They drag Amanda away but Olivia vows that she'll rescue her. End of chapter. This one starts right where the last one left off.

~~~~SVU~~~~

As soon as Amanda was out of sight, Olivia's body sagged in defeat. The men holding her realized that she had no fight left and released her, letting her fall to her knees on the ground. They laughed at her weakness and began to follow the rest. It wasn't until they were gone that Olivia allowed herself to break completely. She let out a pained sob and was helpless to stop the tide of tears that escaped. She curled in on herself, hugging herself with her arms, and tried to stop crying. She was supposed to be a soldier, strong and unbreakable. Yet she found that she was completely shattered inside. How had things gone to Hell so quickly? Why? Logically, she understood that Amanda had been trying to protect her. But she didn't want to understand. She wanted to be furious at her love for being so stupid; Amanda should've just let Lewis take her. She should've flown away when Liv had first told her to. But Liv couldn't truly be mad considering Amanda had sacrificed herself for her; she'd have done the same thing. If that wasn't love than Liv didn't know what was. She had to do something though to save her love. She couldn't just leave her in Lewis' sick, twisted hands. Liv couldn't even imagine all of what the bastard would do to her but what she could imagine made Liv terrified for Amanda. She didn't know what exactly she was going to do. But she had to try.

The brunette allowed herself to cry for a few minutes more before holding her breath, telling herself that she would find a way to rescue Amanda, and forcing herself to stop. First things first. She had to go back to Sundaria to get Coffee and the rest of her things. Then she would go to Amanda's cabin and start planning. She wouldn't stop trying until she either had Amanda back or was dead. With that thought, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and stood up. She gathered her sword and pack that she usually brought on her visits with Amanda then headed towards Sundaria.

~~~~~SVU~~~~~

Amanda kept her eyes downwards to the ground the whole way to Airia. Unlike when Liv would lead her men to and from Sundaria, Lewis did not allow them to stop. They went through the trees at an easy yet steady pace but Amanda found herself stumbling often, her balance thrown off with her hands and wings bound as they were. At first, several of the men laughed at and taunted her. She couldn't help but hope that the dragons would come and attack the group. Then maybe perhaps she could escape. But soon after the thought occured she felt guilty for wishing injury and death on Olivia's fellow soldiers. She found her mind returning to her mate through much of the journey. She hoped Olivia would be okay. She hoped that her human would do the smart thing and start her life over somewhere else, somewhere safe. Perhaps she could join Alex and Casey. She should've suggested that before they'd taken her away. She should've made Liv promise to move on. Amanda wanted her love to be safe above all else. If that meant hoping that Liv stayed away and moved on with her life, without Amanda, then so be it. In spite of what she wanted however, she knew her human well enough to know that she would stop at nothing to get her back.

When they finally reached Airia, Amanda felt her nerves growing. The gates opened and almost immediately a crowd began to form. The people of Airia came out of their houses and businesses, stopped everything they were doing, to come and gawk at the soldiers and what they had brought home. Word spread fast and soon it seemed as if everyone and their mother was there. They were quiet at first, whispering words of shock and wonder and fear when they saw Amanda. But as the crowd grew, so did their volume. Her face flushed red as people glared in anger or stared with scared, wide eyes at her. She wanted to tell the people that she wouldn't hurt them even if she could, that she wasn't the monster here. Instead, she allowed herself to be pulled along in silence. Eventually, the King had led the soldiers away from the townspeople's homes and businesses and towards the base of the castle and the gallows that stood there. Amanda wondered with a sinking feeling in her stomach what the King's plans for her were. Lewis climbed to the top of the platform of the gallows and shouted to be heard over the crowd, "Bring the creature to me."

The soldier whose horse Amanda had been tied to jumped down to cut her loose. Then he and two other men roughly forced her up the stairs of the gallows and to Lewis' side. Amanda grunted but otherwise stayed silent. She looked out at the crowd that had gathered nervously before looking to Lewis. His hazel eyes were watching her, lit with cruel excitement, then he turned to the people. His voice was jovial as if he was addressing his people after winning a war. "My subjects. Do not be scared of what you see before you." He paused for dramatic effect. Then, "For years, we have been prisoners in our own kingdom, victims to those devils we call dragons. What you see here is one of these devils in almost pure human form. Though she appears weak and almost-human, she is more evil than her more monstrous family. She turned one of our own against us. Olivia Benson was discovered wrapped intimately in this creature's arms. After having betrayed us by kidnapping our Queen, my beloved wife, a crime I and your brave soldiers went to arrest her for, it was discovered that Olivia had slipped further into darkness by having a beastly affair with this creature." The crowd gasped in horror and exchanged scandalized whispers. Amanda felt fury fill her as Lewis smeared Olivia's good name. She tensed and growled and shook in her captors' grip, wanting nothing more than to rip the vile man's body to pieces and feast on his heart. Lewis continued, his face taking on a saddened look, "It sickens me to say this but from this day forward, Olivia Benson is now an exile. However, there is a silver lining to this sad news. We have instead Olivia's beloved creature. As I said before, we have been victims of her kind for decades. Too long. I intend to use this less-than-human monster to discover a way in which we may free ourselves from the dragons' reign. It's time we stopped cowering in fear inside our walls and destroyed all the dragons!" The crowd hurrahed and Lewis' grin turned sly and victorious. He had played them perfectly into his hands, and he soaked up the glory. He turned to Amanda and the men holding her. "Take her to my dungeon."

The crowd cheered and taunted Amanda proudly and cruelly as she was dragged away. She growled at the men but otherwise remembered her sacrifice and did not struggle. She was brought through the castle, past the cleaner and more used rooms, past several people she assumed were servants and other royals who gaped at her. Then she was brought to a set of doors that were ordered open as they got there. It was as if they had entered another castle. This section was dirty and dark and appeared charred but Amanda couldn't be sure with the quick glimpses she got. There were weapons and pieces of metal and other unidentifiable objects scattered everywhere as if there had been a battle. Finally, they rounded the corner and arrived at a padlocked metal door. One of the men pulled keys from his belt and began to unlock it. Amanda stared at him wide-eyed and couldn't help but say aloud, "If you have the key, then you know what he does down here. How can you allow him to torture and kill innocent women?"

He glared at her as the door creaked open. "They are hardly innocent," he answered in a hard voice. "Whores and those with the Devil in them," he scoffed, "They deserve what they get and the city deserves to not have to worry about them."

As they shoved her down the stairs, she gasped, "How many soldiers know of this?"

"Not too many," he answered vaguely, "Just enough to cover up their going missing and to dispose of the bodies when he's done with them. Now, enough questions beast!" He personally pushed her the rest of the way down, and it was a lot of effort for Amanda not to fall flat on her face. They walked a few more feet to the right and stopped at a barred, stone cell. The door was already open and chains dangled from the farthest wall. Amanda felt a bolt of fear and anger when she remembered that this is where Lewis planned to imprison Olivia. They shackled her before leaving, locking both the cell door and the dungeon door behind them and leaving Amanda to wonder when her torture and suffering was to begin.

~~~~~SVU~~~~~

Olivia had gotten into and out of Sundaria without much trouble. For the most part, people either whispered and gaped at her or ignored her completely. She couldn't hear what they were saying but she was pretty sure she didn't want to. She gathered her things and went to the stables where Coffee was waiting for her. She decided not to stop for food or anything because she was certain they'd give her the stale bits. She had Amanda's bow and arrows; that would be plenty to procure meals. She greeted her horse sadly, and the dark-colored horse flicked her ears at her and gave her one of those looks that made Liv wonder whether her horse could actually see inside her soul. Judging by the way Coffee stayed very still and wary in the stall as Liv loaded her up, Liv was pretty sure she could at least sense the mood. When she was done, Liv led her horse towards the gate. She was almost there when she heard someone call her name. It was full of anger and Liv flinched as she turned to face a furious looking Trevor Langen, Alex's husband. She stayed still and allowed him to approach her. Still she barely moved as he punched her in the jaw. She just looked up at him as he snarled, "The King told me what you did. That you were behind the disappearing of the Queen and my wife. Where did you take her?"

Liv answered simply, "Somewhere where she'll finally live a happy life."

"How dare you?" he punched her again. "Get out!" he shouted, "Get out before you have to be carried out and tossed in a shallow grave!"

Liv bowed her head and turned to leave. A part of her felt a little bad for Trevor. After all it hadn't been totally his fault that Alex had been unhappy. Sure, he probably could've treated her better, loved her better, and paid more attention to her needs. But Liv knew that Alex would've still been incomplete with him, especially after meeting and falling for Casey, so she couldn't find it in herself to feel too badly for him. Her best friend was happy now, and that's all that mattered.

She climbed atop Coffee just outside the gates and pushed her into a run. She needed to get to Amanda's so she could plan. She and Coffee didn't stop until they were there. Liv led her horse to the little barn, unsaddled her, and made sure she had some water and food. Then she went to the rundown cabin that had been Amanda's home for so many years. Liv felt a piercing agony in her heart as memories flashed across her vision as she looked around the small dwelling. Liv felt close to Amanda here despite the current distance between them. Liv vowed that she would take good care of it so that Amanda could return to the home she knew when Liv got her back. Liv looked to the pile of furs that Amanda used as bed, the one that she had selflessly given to Liv during her stay here. She remembered watching Amanda from that nest as she settled down to sleep across the room, how the blonde had curled up, reminding Liv of a cat, and covered herself with her wings. Liv had found it adorable then, and the memory made her smile slightly now. With depression squeezing her heart, Liv moved to the furs. She stripped most of her clothing off and crawled into the nest. She buried herself under several blankets and shifted until she was comfortable. She inhaled deeply the scent that clung to the nest. It was a combination of nature and the dried skin and Amanda. The smell seeped deep into Olivia, into the dark depression that was surrounding her heart. It didn't disappear, but it did become more bearable. Liv felt a glimmer of hope and that was all she needed right now. She closed her eyes as exhaustion began to fog her senses. She inhaled Amanda's scent one last time before allowing sleep to claim her.

~~~~~SVU~~~~~

Liv slept through the night and well into the next day. She dreamt of being with Amanda in their usual spot, doing their usual activities like swimming and hunting and love-making. She was thankful for the happy dreams and woke up rested. She hunted and cooked the meal as Amanda showed her. It wasn't until she was cooking the heart and liver as she knew Amanda liked it that she had to stop and breathe through a sudden swell of tears. She ate the meat and tended to Coffee. She got to work repairing the parts of Amanda's home that had begun to disintegrate so that it would be sturdy enough to bare the winter. Keeping herself busy helped to retain her focus on coming up with an idea to save Amanda rather than sinking into her despair.

Her imagination came up with a ton of ways to rescue Amanda. They ranged from Liv building a giant catapult and flinging herself into the castle, Liv busting through the gates and single handedly fighting anyone who stood in her way, Liv starting a war with another Kingdom- a bigger Kingdom that could destroy her own- as a distraction, Liv sneaking alone through the city then the castle until she found Amanda and then breaking her free and them flying away through the nearest window. All her ideas were crazy and doomed to fail, though, and Liv knew it. By the next day, Liv still didn't have any better ideas. Or the day after that. She was beginning to lose that hope she'd felt. What could she possibly do all on her own?

Liv was wallowing in bed on the fourth day since they'd taken Amanda from her when she heard shouts coming from outside. She got out of the nest and went to open the door. "Olivia?!" she heard. Her eyebrows furrowed. She knew that voice. But she didn't understand how she could be hearing it. Was she starting to go insane? "Olivia?!" the shouting was louder, closer. Then there was rustling and her best friend, Elliot Stabler, appeared atop a horse into the clearing in front of the house. "Liv!" he said happily, a huge smile on his face, when he saw her.

"Elliot?" she called back. "What the hell are you doing here?"

He walked the horse closer before jumping off and enveloping her in a tight hug. She was too surprised to hug back, but he didn't seem to mind. He pulled away and held her at arm's length, still smiling. "I'm here to help you!" he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What?" she asked.

"You heard me. I came to help. We all did." He motioned behind him and, as if that were their cue, several dozens of men emerged into sight. Liv's eyes widened when she saw that Cragen, Nick, Munch, and Fin were leading them. They filled the clearing and Olivia absently thought that she was going to need more space for them all. Her five closest friends (Alex and Amanda not included) stood in front of her with smiles, looking at her as if nothing had changed.

"I… I don't understand," she said slowly. "Don't you know what's happened?"

It was Nick who nodded and answered, "Lewis called a meeting for all soldiers and told us that he believed you were responsible for Casey and Alex going missing. He ordered us to arrest you. A lot of us wouldn't, so he took those who were loyal to him and/or dislike you for whatever reason and were willing to bring you in. We sent a spy though." He motioned to one man specifically. Olivia recognized him by looks but not by name. He was an older man, between Fin and Munch's ages perhaps. She didn't remember seeing him there, but she had been preoccupied with other things after all. With a kind smile, he waved and, hesitantly, she returned it.

"He was there?" she asked.

Cragen jumped in then. "Saw the whole thing and reported it back to us," he told her. "And this was after Lewis made a spectacle out of you and your- umm… lover in front of the whole city. He told them that you had been banished for being with the enemy and that he was going to use your… to learn how to destroy all the dragons for good. Got the crowd all good and riled up before he ordered that she be locked up."

Olivia flinched at Cragen fumbling over what to call Amanda. "Amanda," she told them, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Her name is Amanda. She's my soulmate. She is not evil. She did not seduce me or threaten me. She loves me, and I love her."

"Liv, ya gotta give us more," Fin informed her gently. "Ya can't blame us for bein' confused."

"We're here because we are loyal to you," Munch added. "But we need the whole story."

Olivia nodded, "That's fair. I understand. I will tell everyone everything, but first everyone should set up camp before it gets too dark. The dragons don't usually trespass on Amanda's territory but they might be drawn to the large crowd so we'll need a look-out team as well as a hunting team. I know this part of the forest well so, if no one has any objections, I will point a group in the direction of supple prey."

Luckily, everyone seemed satisfied with what Liv decreed, so they began to set up camp. She shouldn't have been surprised to see that they were prepared to camp out in the forest rather than return home. She made a mental note to ask the other five Sergeants if their families and the families of their soldiers were safe being left behind in the city. Then she was approached by a group of ten men who were ready and willing to go out hunting. She told them the nearest place where she knew deer would be plentiful and then she told them where the stream would be so they could fill up the water sacs. Once the hunters were gone, she looked over the crowd. Within those handful of minutes she'd spent talking, several tents had been erected. Olivia wasn't sure she liked having so many people, most no better than strangers, on Amanda's territory. She felt like they were trespassing. She knew she had to suck it up, however; after all, they were here to help, and she needed all the help she could get.

By the time the hunters returned with enough deer meat to feed everyone, they were mostly settled. Olivia started a fire in Amanda's firepit and began roasting one of the deer. Two more piles were built and lit, and they cooked deer over them as well. Olivia worried that the stronger-than-average smell would attract dragons, but look-outs had already been posted around the camp. Everyone else was gathered around the fires, waiting for an explanation. She wondered if she would still have their loyalty when she was done. She took a deep breath and called for a silence. When she got it, she told the story from the beginning, everything from the dragon attack that almost killed her to Lewis and his men taking Amanda away. She didn't leave a single thing out, though she was purposefully vague about certain things, like the sweet things her and Amanda had said to one another and the details of their lovemaking; those things were too special to speak aloud to anyone. She noticed that, as she told the tale of how the dragons came to be the way they were, many of the men were either intrigued or doubtful, not wanting to admit that fellow humans, and possibly ancestors, were actually the ones to blame for their own problem. But as she spoke more and more of Amanda, she saw that the number of disbelieving and mistrustful faces decreased. Instead new expressions were borne from her tale. Righteousness. Anger. Sympathy. Determination.

Once Olivia finished, Cragen, Elliot, Nick, Fin, and Munch came to stand with her. She felt her hope swell when she saw in their faces that they still cared for and supported her. As Captain of the Guard, Cragen declared, "The King is not the man we thought he was. He is an abuser, a torturer, and a murderer. He turned on one of our own without fair-enough evidence. He has imprisoned an innocent soul. It is because of all of this that we must mutiny against him. I'm not going to lie, it will be difficult; we may not live through it. But we swore when we became soldiers to protect the Kingdom. If Lewis is willing to cause such pain upon innocents and his own wife, then who's to say what he's capable of and who, if anyone, is safe. Our people are in danger. Are you willing to do as you swore to do, to defend the Airian people even at the cost of your own life?"

Every soldier, including Olivia, Elliot, Nick, Fin, and Munch, shouted, "Aye!"

"By doing so, we have all declared ourselves enemies of the crown but protectors of the people. Lewis will notice we have gone and soon he will proclaim us abandoners. If you did not do so before leaving, I will help make sure that your families back home are taken care of by sending a messenger to the allies we left behind to keep an eye on the city. For now, we will stay here until we have come up with a solid plan of taking Lewis down."

Cragen turned to the other four people standing by him with an open expression, inviting them to add anything. Olivia spoke, "I want to thank you all for coming, for trusting me enough to want to get my side of things, for staying, and for being willing to help. I am honored to work with each and every one of you. You are brave and loyal and true Guardians of Airia. I have confidence that together we will take Lewis down and prevent him from hurting anyone else."

The men dipped their heads to her in respect and acknowledgement of her gratefulness. Cragen dismissed them. Some went back to eating the meal that had been passed around sometime during Olivia's story while others headed off to bed. The sun was sinking, the forest getting darker. Olivia hugged her friends and offered to let them stay in Amanda's home with her. Only Nick and Elliot took her up on the offer, having forgotten their tents in their haste to get to Olivia. Olivia bid goodnight to Cragen, Fin, and Munch and led Nick and Elliot to Amanda's home. She motioned around the empty space and said, "Sleep anywhere you like. Except here." She walked over to the nest. She could handle letting her closest friends inside the home, but there was no way she'd let them even touch Amanda's nest. "And there's a door in the floor over there," she pointed in the general direction of the place in the floor that led to the underground room where Liv and Amanda had made love for the first time. "Don't open it," she practically growled, her voice thick with emotion.

Sensing her mood, Nick and Elliot were quick to lay out their own blankets elsewhere. She was feeling exhausted from having talked so much so she crawled in bed. After a few moments, silence fell and Liv assumed that meant the other two were settled in their own makeshift beds. "Thanks again you guys. For everything," she said quietly.

"Of course Liv. 'Night," came from Elliot.

"You'd do the same for us. Sleep well," Nick added.

She smiled. She was so lucky to have them. With them, Fin, Munch, Cragen, and the rest of their men, she might actually have a real chance of getting Amanda back.