The whole tower was in an uproar. Everyone seemed to be running around, all of them talking at the same time, and yet none of them were accomplishing anything. They were all panicking over the loss of their teammate, and yet nothing was getting done. Loki stood on the side of the room and seethed as he watched these mortals squawk without ever one truly saying anything important.
What did their petty little words matter right now? Did they not understand the true importance of this? Anthony was gone. Amora - Thanos - had taken him. Every moment they spent fighting here was another moment that they left their teammate in her hands.
That moment kept playing over and over in Loki's mind. He hadn't realized at first what was going on. He'd been too busy picking himself up, pushing off the ground and trying to ignore the pain, to understand what was going on. Then he just so happened to look at just the right time, and he'd seen the spell coming his way. Seen Anthony flying. And he knew - there was no way they'd be able to stop it in time.
Then... then Anthony had been right there, and the spell had hit him, and Loki's seidr had screamed right along with the elf. It'd screamed as Anthony's whole body bowed backward and the power lifted him high up in the air.
When the suit had peeled apart and dropped to the ground, leaving Anthony floating and twisting in the air above them, Loki hadn't been able to stop his own screams. He'd pushed up faster, trying to go, trying to get to him, but he hadn't been fast enough.
None of them had.
Loki knew it was an image that would haunt him for many years to come. The elf that had taken them all in, given them a home, safety, family - who had been through so much already and yet had still brought them all in - snatched away from them before they could do anything to stop it.
Loki curled his hands in tight and fought to try and keep them steady. His seidr was lashing out wildly inside of him, aching to be set free. It wanted to go, to hunt through this pathetic realm until it finally found Anthony and brought him back here where he belonged. Back with Loki. It ached to find him and rescue him from whatever was happening to him right now.
"Brother," Thor's warm, cautious voice broke into Loki's rage-filled thoughts. His eyes snapped up to his big brother. Loki didn't realize that they were going with the barely leashed power inside of him. Thor didn't flinch from it. He simply placed himself in front of Loki, between him and the rest of the suddenly silent room, and reached both hands out to clasp Loki's shoulders. For once, Loki allowed it, simply staring back at him. "We will find him," Thor promised.
Loki didn't try and break free, far too grateful for the grounding touch, but that didn't stop him from glaring at Thor. "How?" His voice was sharp and echoed through the room like the crack of a whip. "How will we find him? Amora is under the control of the Mad Titan. She has his power to help shield her."
A small smile touched Thor's lips. "And we have you."
"Me?" Loki let out a startled, incredulous laugh. "You think my power stands any chance against his? While your faith is touching, it is also stupid. I stand no match against him, brother. As my own imprisonment proved."
The fact that Loki used the word 'brother' didn't go unnoticed by either of them. Though Thor lit up at it, he didn't focus on it. Not now. For now, he kept his focus right on Loki. "None of us would stand a chance against the Titan on our own, and I would never suggest that, brother. That was not what I meant." One of Thor's hands came off of Loki's shoulder and moved down to press flat over his heart. "You've worked magic with him before. He has been inside your mind. You once told me there is no magic more intimate than that. If any might stand the chance of seeking him out, it would be you. I would put my faith in you against him any time."
Inside, Loki's seidr was practically screaming out its agreement. It was demanding to be set free to hunt for the one they'd lost.
Thor's words had merit. With the way that Anthony and Loki had meshed in the past when their seidr touched, there was an excellent chance that they'd be attuned to one another enough for Loki to be able to at least attempt spells to help them find him. Of course, Amora would have protections up, and no doubt the Mad Titan had provided more. But... Anthony was tricky. He wouldn't take whatever they did to him lying down. He would fight back, constantly, and he would do everything in his power to break free. That might be enough to weaken the wards and allow Loki a chance at a glimpse.
And if they so happened to actually break him before Loki and the others found him, well... Anthony had set Loki free once. Loki would happily return the favor.
Determination filled Loki and only added to the glow of seidr in his eyes. "I need quiet, calm, and a place in which to meditate that is connected closely to Anthony. Somewhere that is more his essence than anywhere else."
"Either his bedroom or his workshop, Master Liesmith," JARVIS said instantly. "Might I recommend the workshop. Sir has practiced magic down there quite often, so it should carry the clearest traces of his power."
A bright smile lit Loki's face. "JARVIS, you are a credit to your father."
There was stunned pleasure in JARVIS's voice as he said: "Thank you, Master Liesmith."
Loki didn't waste time with any of the others in the room. He didn't bother to tell them what he was doing, or try and find out what they were doing. He didn't even look their way. Instead, he reached a hand up, curling it around Thor's wrist - his brother recognized the gesture and immediately planted his feet, bracing - and then Loki teleported them away.
It left the rest of the Avengers standing there staring at the empty space the others had just been in. Steve was the one to recover first. He shook his head and then straightened himself back up. "Let's leave the magic part of things to them," he said firmly. "While they do that, the rest of us can focus on what needs doing next. JARVIS, had Tony figured out any possible places that Amora might be hiding...?"
Anthony's workshop definitely carried a strong feel of the elf to it. His seidr had touched everything here. That would make it much easier for Loki to catch it enough to try and hunt it down.
Though Thor clearly didn't understand what it was he was asking Loki to do, it didn't mean that he was wrong in his suggestion. Anthony and Loki had worked together closely a few times since their first meeting. Anthony had been inside of Loki's mind and helped remove the Mad Titan's control, and he'd clasped magical hands with Loki more than once to share power with him. Something like that shouldn't be possible for two people who didn't know one another deeply and intimately.
For them to be able to work like that, there had to be some sort of connection. Loki had puzzled about that right from the start. He didn't sense anything, and yet, it was as if his seidr did.
The way that it was still panicking now only backed up that theory.
What Loki was going to do now was meditate and reach down into himself and see if he could find some sort of connection between him and Anthony. Something that allowed their magic to work together so easily. If he could find that, he'd be much more successful in any attempt at trying to magically track their missing host.
If he was going to attempt this anywhere, this workshop seemed to be the best place for it. Loki had only been in here a few times so far, yet he felt comfortable each time he'd come in. There was something about this space that just made him feel relaxed. Made him feel... safe. Not to mention how amazingly shielded the whole place was. It was the perfect place for him to attempt any sort of magic, really.
As soon as Loki and Thor landed there, Loki let go of his brother and turned around, eyes running around the room until he found what it was he needed. An open, clear space for him to sit, somewhere that he'd be able to reach out and touch the traces of seidr that were still in the air. As soon as he found what he was looking for, Loki gave a small nod and made his way over there.
"I need you to make sure I am not disturbed," Loki called over his shoulder as he moved. "I am going to meditate, and I will not be fully aware of my surroundings. I will, however, react defensively if someone attempts to touch me."
"I will guard your back, brother." As if to prove his willingness, Thor lifted Mjolnir from her strap at his waist and held her firmly in his hand. "None shall get close to you."
Loki nodded his head. He knew Thor would keep him safe. Despite everything between them, his oaf of a brother had always been true to his word, and he'd always been one that Loki could count on if he pinned him down for something. While Thor might not understand what it was that Loki was doing, he understood that he needed to keep his brother safe, and for him, that had always been enough. He would keep Loki safe no matter what came their way.
He was surprised when JARVIS chimed in, adding: "I will keep watch as well, Master Liesmith. None will make it to this level while you are working."
That meant almost as much as having Thor guard him, if not more. Thor would protect Loki physically. JARVIS, however, could keep anyone from even reaching them. "Thank you, JARVIS."
With the knowledge that he was as protected as he could be, Loki went to the spot he'd chosen and sank gracefully down to the ground. This was likely going to take quite a while; he was going to need to be comfortable for it.
Meditation was something that Loki had learned at a very young age. It was crucial in helping a burgeoning mage find their calm and their center. He knew how to calm himself; how to relax his body from his toes to the tip of his head. He knew how to regulate his breathing and let go of the tensions inside of him until he found the kind of calm a good meditation could bring.
Today, he was going to go far deeper than that. He was going to go deeper than he had in hundreds of years. Not since long before Thanos and his intrusion. While Loki might've meditated, he hadn't delved in deep, seeking out his Center. There'd been no need. He'd kept it well protected and hidden just as he'd been taught to do.
But today that was exactly where he needed to go. If he wanted to see if there were some deep-rooted connection between him and Anthony, than Loki would need to be able to look at his very Center, the place where his seidr was anchored to him.
Loki closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and trusted his body over to his brother while his mind dove deep inside with each breath he took.
He called up the image of the eagle in his mind – one of his favorite forms to take. It was easy for him to focus on that. Inhale, the feel of his muscles stretching, his wings out on either side of him. Exhale, wind blowing through his feathers, lifting him up, taking him down, twisting all around him. Inhale, rising up higher and higher, until the ground was a blur beneath him. Exhale, the tensions in him bleeding away, the world left behind as the sky opened up around him and there was nothing but clouds and blue sky as far as the eye could see.
It was the most amazing feeling in the world to twist and turn his body through the sky. Nothing around him, nothing holding him down. Just freedom.
Loki let out a laugh that cut through the sky in a sharp cry. Tilting his body, he rolled down into a smooth dive, wings tucked in tight on either side. It was exhilarating to feel the air rushing over him while his body plummeted. Loki let out another laugh as the ground became clear through the last of the clouds, rushing closer and closer, a wide open field right at the edge of a dense forest. He pulled himself up at the last second, his stomach just barely skimming over some of the taller blades of grass, and pushed his body up once more.
Just a few feet above the ground, bird shifted into man, and Loki landed lightly on bare feet in the grass. The peace he'd found in the sky stayed with him as he headed towards the forest ahead of him.
Not once did Loki's footsteps falter. Not through the field, nor as he entered the forest he knew looked dark and forbidding. On the outside, it seemed to be a place of danger, a place that one would think twice before entering. To him, it was so different, and so much more.
Dark, forbidding trees gave way to warm, healthy ones, bright green and dripping in vines and leaves. The forest felt so peaceful and alive around Loki. There were traps there for the unwary; those who were not welcome here. But for him, the leaves and branches parted, and the grass was welcoming under his bare feet. Loki easily followed the path he'd laid here; one that only he would ever be able to access. Not even with the Mind Stone had He ever been able to make his way here.
There was no telling how long he walked. Time held no meaning inside this place. It could've been minutes, or hours, or even days. Not once did he get tired. Loki simply continued walking until, finally, there was a break in the trees.
A soft smile curved his lips as he took his first step inside the place he hadn't been in such a long, long time.
Loki stepped out into his mother's gardens – the one place that he'd always associated with safety and warmth growing up. Even with everything that had happened, everything he'd found out, that hadn't changed for him. He'd always felt so safe here. Loki let his hand trail lightly over the twisting ghora bushes that spread and grew much like Midgard's rose bushes, only minus the thorns, and coming in so many more colors. The bushes were no more than waist high, and he easily slipped along the stone path that led him between them and towards the center.
Frigga had designed her gardens well, with many twisting paths throughout them all, allowing for one to wander for hours as they looked at it all. Loki had spent many an hour working in these very gardens, helping Frigga to care for them, or simply sitting amongst the plants and admiring their beauty.
But it was the center of this all that was truly Loki's.
At the very center of the gardens stood a beautiful fountain. It was tall – taller than Loki – and shaped from rock that seemed to have grown right up from the ground. Multiple pools appeared to be part of its very structure – grown that way, not carved. Each pool fed down into the one below it until finally spilling down into a small pond at the base. From that pond were a handful of small rivers. Creeks, he supposed they'd be called. Tiny trails of water that spread outwards into the rest of the garden, feeding it life – feeding Loki life.
This was his seidr. A constant, ever flowing supply, bubbling up through the fountain and slowly flowing down into him. If Loki so wished, he could draw on it, make it come faster, turning those tiny creeks into flowing rivers. Or he could keep it calm, like this.
If he was going to find out if there were any connection between him and Anthony, this would be the place to do it.
Loki went to one knee at the edge of the small pond at the bottom and dipped a hand in, letting his fingers trail through the water. It curled around his fingers and held on like a lover, twining them together and stroking against his skin before letting go.
The first thing Loki needed to do was start looking around for something that he hadn't known was there. A strange thought, especially in a place such as this, but he had to check. He needed to see if someone his seidr had formed a connection without making him aware of it. It wasn't outside the realm of possibility. With that in mind, Loki carefully made his way around the pond's edge, tracing over the more familiar creeks, occasionally following along with some he wasn't quite sure of.
He paused alongside one of the oldest and deepest ones; a bit of seidr that had formed a connection long ago and that had never completely severed, not even at the deepest of Loki's madness. It was edged in plants covered in thorns and brightly colored flowers. The kind of plants that stood for hard trials, for both good and bad memories, and for a kind of love and loyalty that withstood the test of time.
Loki brushed his fingers over a red flower and thought of big booming laughs, and an arm thrown over his shoulder. A wide grin and laughing eyes, sharing in a joke that had been theirs alone. Curling up under covers and refusing to admit they'd been scared by stories around the fire earlier, each insisting they were only there for the other. Angry words and solemn vows. Anger and love, all twined together in a way that only Thor had ever been able to inspire.
He made himself turn away. This was no time to sit and speculate on the complicated relationship he and Thor shared. Theirs was a brotherhood that Loki knew would be there always, no matter how angry he got. Sometimes, he could even admit to himself that that was why he got so angry. He knew that Thor would still be there, the giant oaf, no matter how furious Loki got, no matter what he did. Sometimes it made him want to push, to see how far he had to go before Thor finally had enough, just like everyone else. So far, it hadn't happened.
As Loki stepped carefully towards the next creek of seidr, he tried to watch where he was going, not wanting to squash any of the plants.
Because he was looking so closely, it was easy to see when the plants began to thicken. What had seemed like a simple bush stretching over the water from a distance was now becoming clearer, and much thicker. Loki could see that it wasn't just growing over the water. It was in it. No, it was more than that. Loki took another step closer and squatted down low, keeping his hands back. It was blocking it!
Something like this couldn't be accidental. There was no way that a flow of seidr could accidentally be blocked here. Loki would have to either do it deliberately or become so broken inside that his mind shut off parts of itself in order to heal.
Sure, Loki knew he had healing to do. He knew he hadn't healed completely yet from what He had done. But there was no reason for his mind to do this.
That meant that someone else was responsible for this.
That thought alone was almost enough to break Loki's calm and send him jolting back towards his body. He had to fight to take a few calming breaths and force his temper down. Later would be the time for temper. Later, he could seethe to himself and promise retribution against whoever had done this.
For now, Loki carefully straddled the creek of seidr and settled himself onto his haunches. Then he focused on the foliage in front of him and studied it from all angles. Only when he was sure that there wasn't some sort of trap waiting to spring out at him did he reach down and coat his hands in the seidr below him, bringing not only his hands back up but the seidr as well, working as a second set of hands.
With a deep breath, Loki reached forward and began to untangle whatever spell was blocking him.
The instant his hands touched it, there was no doubt in Loki's mind just who had caused it. The realization that Odin had done something else to him, something big enough to put a block on Loki's seidr, had the world rattling around him a little and the pool of seidr darkening with his rage. But Loki continued to breathe, and he continued to work. He would not let this stand. Whatever Odin had done, Loki was getting it out of here, now. This spell was not going to spend one more moment here!
He had to be careful. This spell was careful, made to be hidden, and made to resist. It fought him every single step of the way. But Loki chipped at it little by little, cutting pieces of it free like ridding himself of infected flesh. And as he did, his seidr continued to push, until that first, tiny little trickle broke through.
Loki made a triumphant sound and tugged at another vine, slowly, carefully pulling it free.
That little trickle grew stronger with each tug that Loki gave, until suddenly, with one last pull of a branch, the power of Loki's seidr overpowered the last of the spell, and it broke through and tore it apart before rushing down a connection that had been denied for a very long time.
As the connection filled once more, it jolted through Loki like a lightning strike. This wasn't just a connection reestablishing. This was so much more. Thousands of thoughts, memories, feelings, came flooding back in with the seidr, sweeping Loki down with it, pulling him along in the current until he was lost under the onslaught. Unable to break water, Loki drown in it as a lifetime of memories poured their way back into his brain, and things that had been so wrong were again made right.
A ragged gasp tore its way past Loki's lips as he was thrown from his meditation and back into his physical body. He was physically flung backward from the force of it, sliding across the floor to crash into the nearby wall.
He heard Thor calling his name, and he could sense his oldest brother coming to crouch in front of him, demanding to know what was wrong. But Loki couldn't see him right now. All he could see was another face – a face he had once known as well, if not better, than his own. One that he had forgotten. No – been made to forget!
Staring up at Thor, the walls that were usually in his eyes hiding his feelings now gone, Loki could only say one word. One single word packed with a wealth of love and pain.
"Anto."