hi again. going back to school tomorrow. freaking YEAR 12. SIXTH FORM. freaking out.

but, i digress. expect updates to get slow(er than they already are jeez get it together alice)

Chapter 21

It was a quiet night, a peaceful end to a far from peaceful day. The only sounds were the odd rumbling as a car drove past, and a soft wind blowing ever so gently through the trees. Lone, low clouds rolled across the sky every now and again, but beyond them the stars shone with all their celestial beauty, untouchable and perfect. Two flashing lights, an aeroplane jetting off to some unknown destination, flashed slowly across the sky. Remus watched it until it disappeared behind a cloud. He let out a laboured sigh and shut the door behind him.

Sirius was, by definition, a light sleeper. The slightest of noises could wake him, and it was not an uncommon occurrence that Sirius would find himself wake suddenly in the night, blinking into the darkness, wondering why he had been woken. Most of the time he found it extremely annoying, but this particular night be decided he was rather lucky.

There was also the fact that Sirius' bedroom was right at the top of the stairs, meaning that when compared to his brother and his mother, he was the closest to the front door.

Taking both of these facts into consideration, it is evident as to why Sirius clearly heard a faint rapping at the Black's front door in the middle of the night.

He awoke, and sat up slowly. He hesitated for a few seconds, debating in his mind as to whether or not he had dreamed the noise. The faint rapping came again and Sirius realised it was real, and not just an invention of his mind. He pulled on his dressing gown, and, yawning, he made his way down the stairs, his hand hovering over the banister, ready to catch himself should he stumble and fall. Which was an entirely possible thing.

By the front door, on a table made of dark wood, a colour fitting in with pretty much the whole of the house, lay the key. It was rather old fashioned, long and silver, with the mechanism to unlock the door jutting out at the end. Sirius, still partly asleep, struggled to get the key into the lock properly but eventually it slid into place, and he huffed a sleepy laugh victoriously.

It was not generally in his nature to open the front door to just anyone who came around in the middle of the night, but the faintness of the knock reassured him that this was no one bad. Perhaps he had been foolish and overly naive to think this, but he was glad that he did.

He opened the door slowly, peering out into the night. His mouth fell open when he saw who was there.

"Remus?" He asked, half astounded, half confused.

Remus was stood there, dressed in the clothes that he had worn when Sirius had seen him last. They weren't very substantial, the chill of the night permeated the thin fabric and Remus was shivering rather violently, his arms wrapped around himself in an attempt to keep himself warm. But that wasn't what bothered Sirius. What bothered him were the tears falling from Remus eyes, slow but steady and continuous. Remus opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again, only able to shake his head sorrowfully.

Sirius reached out and placed his hand on Remus' shoulder, guiding him inside. He shut the door behind them both, shrouding them in darkness. He locked the door, placing the key in its usual place on the table. "Remus?" Sirius asked again. "What are you doing here?"

He held out his arms and Remus was gratefully embraced. "I'm sorry." Came his muffled reply, as his face was buried in Sirius' shoulder. "I'm so sorry. But I couldn't bear to be there anymore…he…Sirius, he…" He found he couldn't say any more and he wrapped his arms tightly around Sirius' waist, unwilling to let go.

Sirius tensed and looked down at Remus. All he could see was the top of his head, his golden brown hair shining dimly in the darkness. "What did Matthew do to you?" His voice was low and cautious. It unsettled him that he didn't even need to ask who it was that had upset Remus to the extent that he had run away.

"He…" Remus shook his head, unable to choose the right words. "He told me I didn't deserve you, Sirius. He told me to go to hell."

Sirius pressed his lips to Remus' hair, closing his eyes and inhaling the scent of Remus' shampoo. He could think of nothing to say that would make Remus better. At that moment, he felt utterly helpless and utterly like the child he still was.

"I'm sorry." Remus said again. "But I couldn't bear to be near him anymore."

"It's okay." Sirius said softly. "It's okay. You can stay here, it's fine." Remus managed a bleary smile through his tears.

There was silence for a few seconds. "You're still shivering." Sirius noticed, and he watched Remus' thin frame shake. He let go of the younger boy and stepped away, taking off his dressing gown and draping it around Remus' shoulders. He was left in just a pair of pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt. He felt the cold air hit him, and it wasn't at all pleasant, but all that mattered to him was making sure that Remus was alright.

Upstairs, he heard the slightest noise, like cautious footsteps coming to a halt. He paid no attention. "Come on, Remus. Do you want anything to eat, or drink?"

Remus just shook his head, gratefully drawing the dressing gown closer to him. "I'm just so tired." He murmured and Sirius nodded.

"Let's get you to bed, then."

Sirius paused to think. The Black household had no guest bedroom, and Sirius did not want Remus sleeping on one of the uncomfortable sofas in the living room. Sirius' bed was more than big enough for the both of them. He took Remus' hand and began to lead him up the stairs, ignoring the uncomfortable squirming that had begun in his stomach. He was nervous about what he was doing, and he knew it.

When they reached the top, Sirius nearly jumped a foot in the air when he saw his brother stood, leaning against the railing that ran alongside the stairs. "Sirius?" He asked, hostility still in his voice from their earlier misunderstanding. "Who's that?"

Sirius shot him a dark look. "He's my friend." He felt Remus' hand tighten around his. "And he needs a place to stay."

Regulus saw the tear tracks on the boy's face, and the bags under his eyes. He saw how thin the boy was, how frail looking. Eventually he agreed that he could use a good night's sleep. "Okay."

Sirius snorted derisively. "I wasn't asking your permission."

Regulus looked at him haughtily. Sirius turned away to the smaller boy.

"In here." He murmured, and opened the door to his bedroom, which lay in darkness. Remus smiled a tiny, grateful smile and followed Sirius in. When Sirius came back to close the door, he shot Regulus a look that was probably meant to be hostile, but Regulus saw in his eyes how distraught and upset his brother was. There was anger there as well, but it was a different type, and instantly Regulus could tell it was not directed at himself. Sirius' door closed with a click, and for a few seconds Regulus watched it with quiet eyes.

It had not escaped his notice that Sirius was perfectly okay with sharing his bed with this friend, his male friend. Regulus, before that night at least, would have assumed that Sirius would have been uncomfortable with something like that. Obviously not, he guessed. Regulus stared at the door, before huffing a disbelieving laugh and returning to his own room for the night.

"Remus." Sirius murmured. Remus looked up at him with solemn amber eyes. Sirius smiled the tiniest bit, before journeying to his chest of drawers. He rooted around for a pair of pyjamas that would be small enough to fit Remus. He found none, and had to make do with a pair that he knew would be too big for his skinny body. "Here." He said, giving the clothes to Remus. He glanced at the clock and realised it was only a little after midnight.

He turned away as Remus changed quietly and a soft cough told him that Remus was done. The arms of the top were much too long, and they fell past Remus' hands. The trousers, too, were too long, and they looked like they were too wide around the waist. Remus grasped self consciously at the waistband so they wouldn't fall down. Nevertheless, he smiled his thanks and Sirius pulled back the covers, and rather awkwardly gestured to Remus that he could get in. Remus did so, and he watched Sirius as the dark haired boy joined him. For a moment Sirius stared at the ceiling, before turned over onto his side, coming face to face with Remus. Their foreheads were nearly touching. Sirius reached down and grasped Remus' hand, bringing it up so their hands rested in the space between them.

"Go to sleep." Sirius said quietly, but Remus' eyes were already closed, his breathing getting softer and shallower. Sirius watched the sleeping figure of the boy for a few moments before closing his eyes, ever aware of the fingers curled around his own.

When Remus woke up, he knew he was not at home, in his bed. He wondered whose duvet this was, he wondered whose wallpaper this was. He wondered as to whose arms were wrapped around him, and then he remembered.

Sirius was holding him tightly, so Remus' back was pressed against Sirius' chest. Remus could hear Sirius' soft breathing just behind his head, and he craned his neck to look at him. Bathed in the early morning light, his dark eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones, Sirius seemed to Remus to be the very personification of beauty. He looked so peaceful that Remus didn't dare move, in fear of waking him. Remus wasn't quite sure as to how they had ended up this way, but he wasn't really complaining. In Sirius' arms, he felt warm, safe and protected. He lay there for about fifteen minutes, absently tracing patterns onto the back of Sirius' hand that was resting on his own collar bone.

The only indication that Sirius was awake was that suddenly his hand moved, and his fingers curled around Remus'.

"Hello." Sirius said quietly, his voice thick from sleep.

"Hi." Remus said, turning around in his arms, so all he could see were Sirius' grey eyes, so close to his own. He glanced down at Sirius' arms, and Sirius noticed. He blushed and made to move away.

"Sorry, I…"

Remus hastened to interrupt. "It's alright."

Sirius smiled softly and his arms returned to embracing Remus. "How are you feeling?" He asked softly.

Remus swallowed. "Better, now. Thank you."

"It's not a problem."

One corner of Remus' mouth quirked up into a smile.

"I just have one question." Sirius said. "How…how did you know where I lived?"

Remus shrugged. "Your address is written on your school journal. You left it at my house one time."

"So you memorised it?" Sirius asked and Remus nodded. "My, my. It seems I'm going out with a closet stalker."

Remus blushed and gave him a vague, playful shove and Sirius laughed softly. "Your parents are going to be worried sick." Sirius murmured after a few seconds of silence.

"I know." Remus said with a sigh. His eyes rolled away to the left, conciously avoiding Sirius' gaze. "But I just couldn't bear to be near Matthew. He was so furious with me…with you." He flushed and looked away. "And it scared me…and I wanted you to…to look after me." He was positively bright red, and Sirius felt his heart lurch, a feeling that was not entirely unpleasant.

"I'll look after you." Sirius murmured into Remus' hair. "For as long as you'll have me."

There was silence for a few seconds before he felt Remus give him a soft shove with his hand. "Don't get all sappy." Remus smiled playfully at him, and Sirius felt a smirk spread across his face.

"All right. No sappiness. Promise."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Wait a minute. I never said I didn't want any unbearable cheesiness." And Sirius laughed because that was just the sort of thing Remus was likely to say.

Remus could tell, by the way that the light streaming through the window was so pale, that it was relatively early in the morning. Slowly, almost reluctantly, Sirius detached his arms from Remus and left the warmth of the bed, wandering across his room. The sight of his hair slightly stuck up on one side was something Remus didn't think would be so funny.

"I think…" Sirius murmured, as he was rooting around the chest of drawers for a certain jumper. "I think it's best if we get out of here before my mother wakes up."

Remus nodded. He barely knew anything about Sirius' mother, but he did know, from Sirius' scowls and cold words, that she was not one of the friendlier people in the world. "That's fine. It'd be best if I got home early, too. Mum must be tearing her hair out by now." He glanced at Sirius, and saw a flicker of jealousy in his eyes. Of course, Remus thought, wanting to bang his head against a wall. Of course he's jealous, because his mother wouldn't worry about him like your mother worries about you. Stupid, stupid idiot! Remus could only smile apologetically and reach out to squeeze Sirius' hand.

Suddenly the look in Sirius' eyes was gone, replaced by smile that was only ever so slightly forced. "We should get some breakfast." He said. "But first, we should probably get dressed."

Remus blinked. "Right, well, er…"

Sirius suddenly grinned, understanding Remus' reservations. "I'll be in the bathroom." He grabbed his clothes and left to go into the adjoining en-suite.

"…'ppreciate it!" Remus called and he could hear Sirius' laughter.

Eventually, when they were both dressed they found themselves in Sirius' kitchen, a vast and rather cold room, the countertops made of marble and the floor made of polished stone. "Wow." Remus murmured. "I didn't know you had this much money."

Sirius flushed but didn't say anything. Instead he filled the kettle up with water, flicking on the switch. He opened a cupboard containing rows of mugs."Tea? Coffee?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at Remus, who had sat down at the table.

Remus hastily shook his head. "Not for me thanks…can't stand the stuff."

Sirius just laughed as he reached for a glass. "Orange juice, then. Everyone likes that."

"Yes, please."

Sirius, Remus noticed, had a certain capacity for multitasking. Remus watched as he did several things at once, pulling out two plates, a teabag, spoons, plates, butter knifes and generally completed the task quicker than Remus could ever hope to.

Buttered toast with jam and a glass of orange juice was placed in front of him. Sirius sat down beside him, holding his mug between his hands, before picking up a slice of toast and taking a bite.

"So?" Sirius asked, after taking a sip of tea. "Is it alright?"

Remus nodded. "It's pretty damn good. Didn't know you could cook."

Sirius grinned but he blushed, and Remus could tell he was pleased with the compliment. "Toast is hardly cooking. Still. I'm better than Regulus. He manages to burn cereal."

Remus laughed and for a few minutes they ate in companionable silence. Remus' breakfast hit the spot, when he had turned up at Sirius' house the night before he had been starving, but he hadn't said it. Now, he felt just right, warm and content. "Can…can I try some of your tea?" Remus asked quietly. "I'm not really sure what it tastes like."

Sirius laughed, trying to keep it quiet. "You don't like it but you've never tasted it?"

Remus scowled playfully. "I've had a sip…it's not really a proper taste. Can I?"

Sirius nodded and handed him the mug, and he was pretty sure that Remus deliberately placed his fingers over Sirius'. Remus brought the cup to his lips and looked uncertainly at Sirius. Eventually he took a drink. "Well?" Sirius asked, oddly eager to know Remus' opinion.

Remus put the cup down. He thought about it and then pulled a face. "It's so sweet! How many sugars have you put in there?"

Sirius shrugged, reaching out to take the mug back. "Only four. It's not that many!" He added, on seeing Remus' surprised face. He opened his mouth to say something, when his gaze shifted to something behind Remus. Remus turned around to see Regulus Black stood in the doorway.

"Umm…hi." Regulus said, somewhat awkwardly. He said it quietly so as not to anger Sirius any more than he had last night.

"Morning." Sirius said in a deadpan tone of voice.

Remus could only smile self-consciously, having not properly met Regulus before.

"You gonna introduce us, Sirius?" Regulus asked, crossing his arms almost lazily, regarding his older brother with a suspicious, and not completely comfortable, expression.

"Rem, this is Regulus. Reg, this is Remus Lupin."

Regulus opened his mouth to laugh at such a name, but then he remembered his own and hastily bit his tongue.

did you detect my attempt at humour at the end? i tried, i really did. /sniffle.

i've been trying to tone down the unbearable fluff. hope it's okay.

anyhoo. thank you ALL for your gorgeous reviews of gorgeousness. i'm sorry i don't reply to them all personally, i wish i did, but half the time i'm checking my emails on my phone (long story) so i can't reply. FORGIVE MEH. so. i'm thanking you all HERE. let it be known. ^_^

right. yeah. i'll...uh...i'll be going. ahem.

~~Allie xx