A/N: Wow, two in one night, can you handle it? (credit Sex and the City for that quote) Oh yes, I wrote a funny/happy fic. I had this idea in my head since early this morning, and I finally got to write it down. YAY! Hope you like it. No direct SasuNaru action, just implied. Use your own dirty imagination for what they did after this...

Oh, and let's pretend their of legal age in this fic. Just for legal purposes, of course. Or you can image them in whatever age your dirty little fantasies want. lol.

One-Shot #21
Wet & Sexy Jutsu

This entire situation is all Ino's fault, Naruto decided. If that woman wouldn't have thought this up, Naruto would be at home, in bed. But, instead, the girls all wanted him to 'strut his stuff', or so they said.

The day started off simple enough; just another Autumn Festival in Konaha. But this year, Ino, being a chuunin, got suckered into planning it. Not that she wouldn't do an amazing job, mind you. But, Ino's ideas weren't conventional, traditional. They were more modern, and that's where Naruto got into trouble.

"…so to make a long story short," at this, Naruto just snorted, "I talked the girls into doing a wet t-shirt contest, for charity, of course."

Naruto did a double-take. "Wet… t-shirt…contest?"

"Yes, pervert!" Ino hit Naruto on the shoulder.

"Wha…what do you want me to do?" Millions of dirty thought skipped through Naruto's mind.

"We want you to participate." The dirty thoughts ended.

"Um, Ino…I'm a boy…"

"Not when you're in your sexy jutsu form…" Ino winked. Naruto just blinked. "Naruto, your sexy jutsu form is, well, hot as hell. If you are up there, all wet, then the guys won't be ogling us, and they'd pay a hell of a lot of money to see you!"

"But, Ino…I'm all into charity, and all, but I think this is a bad idea…"

"The money benefits the orphanage."

Naruto just sighed. She knew exactly which button to push on him; he secretly figured Sakura taught her that trick.

"If you girls don't want to be ogled, then why be in a wet t-shirt contest?"

"The ogling doesn't bother us, but we won't get as much money as you will. Besides, if any guys try to get frisky, you can save us with all your clones. It's a win-win situation."

"Yeah, for you." He muttered.

"Aw, Naruto. No one will recognize you, we promise!"

Peering out of the curtain, he couldn't believe he was doing this. His sexy jutsu was a diversionary tactic, not a sex object. Okay, well, yeah, it was. But that was beside the point. It was never meant to be used for this. The other girls were all dressed in short shorts and tight white t-shirts. And, sadly, Naruto was too nervous to ogle at all. Taking another look at Ino and Sakura, taking in how they were dressed, his henged into his version. His reflection showed he didn't do a bad job, either. Hell, he'd do himself.

"Oh, Naruto, is that you?" Ino asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah." The female Naruto blushed at the way Ino was staring. Even Sakura took notice.

"You look hot. You're going to drive those boys insane!" She smirked, smacked Naruto's backside, and took her place in line.

Naruto took a deep breath and stood beside her.

Shikamaru was the only one the girls trusted to hand them their water pitchers, they were sure he wouldn't try anything. Although Kiba was dying for the job. But, when Shikamaru got to Naruto, his jaw dropped open.

"Who is that?" He whispered to Sakura.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

The curtain came up, revealing five very happy ninja, and one not so happy.

In the audience, the men were all taking in the appearance of the women on the stage. But most of them were asking each other who the sixth one was, and where she'd been all their pubescent lives. Huddled in the middle of the crowd were the other members of the legendary group, their mouths hanging open.

"I don't get it, where'd they find her?" Kiba asked.

"What's her name?" Choji whispered.

"I wouldn't have sworn off women, had I known that was here." Kakashi smirked, leaving all the boys to gape at him for a second.

"You're gay?" Neji asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah. Just me and my dolphin."

"Too much information." Sasuke mumbled.

"Maybe Shikamaru knows who she is, he was up there." Lee was gaping at Sakura, making Sasuke consider smacking him. Even though they weren't together, he was still a little protective of her.

"Neji, you going to be alright watching this? I mean, Hinata is your cousin." Kiba's question brought Neji out of his 'staring at Tenten' trance.

"I plan on closing my eyes during that part."

"Good call." Choji smirked.

"First contestant, Anko!" Shikamaru called out. The crowd just stared in awe as the water was poured over Anko's shirt.

They went down the line like that, all the girls getting their turn. Each girl got their respective moment in the spotlight, but it all ended for them as it came to Naruto's turn.

Oh, Kami, get me out of this safely. He thought.

"And last, but certainly not least, Naruko!" Ino slapped Shikamaru, who was currently waiting for Naruto to do his thing.

The water washed over him, and Naruto got a secret thrill from seeing so many eyes on him.

"Good God, this is the best festival ever." Sasuke whispered, a smirk gracing his lips. Even Sasuke's emo attitude couldn't deny that that woman was hot. And, as he silently allowed himself to acknowledge, he was bisexual and it was okay to look at girls, too.

Once the contest was over, the girls were supposed to wait until the winner was decided, although they already knew the answer. It was then that Kakashi realized something was different.

"Hey, guys, where's Naruto?"

Slowly, all the boys looked at each other and then back up to the blonde beauty about to receive the winnings from the contest. As realization settled into their brains, they resisted the urge to vomit right there.

"Naruto did not henge into a woman to win the prize money!" Neji growled.

"And we fell for it!" Kiba also growled.

"That asshole!" Choji's fit clenched at his side.

As the realization flooded into Sasuke, he just smirked. "He's a genius…"

Shikamaru took the microphone and signaled for everyone to quiet down. "As an added bonus, thought up by Ino herself, the man who bids the most money can have one of these lovely ladies for the rest of the evening. Dating only, no funny business."

Sasuke, taking this as the perfect opportunity, grabbed his wallet and walked up front. "One thousand dollars for Naruko!"

The entire place went silent as the men were trying to figure out how much money they could afford to bid. When no one in that room could go any higher than Sasuke, he won the bid…and Naruto.

Naruto was furious, never in his entire life had he been so embarrassed, and now he had to hope his jutsu would last until he could shake off whoever won him. He was barely listening to the commotion around him as he tried to think of way out of his situation, until he heard the voice of the winning bidder. Sasuke.

"Sasuke won?" He asked, leaning over to Sakura.

"Yeah, by spending a whopping twenty-seven hundred dollars on your skanky ass." He could tell she was jealous, but the bidding for the rest of them would start shortly, and Naruto had a feeling Lee would spend everything he had to get a hold of her.

"I didn't agree to this, Ino." He hissed.

"Oh, Naruto, it's just Sasuke. Besides, he probably already knows it's you."

"She's right."

Naruto head snapped around at those words, forcing him to look directly into Sasuke's onyx eyes.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"You weren't down there. Besides, everyone in Konaha knows what that jutsu looks like by now."

"Then why'd you buy me?"

"Because I wanted to and because if either of those guys would have got you, they would have beaten the hell out of you." The smirk on his face said he wasn't joking. Naruto looked down in the crowd to see the highly angry faces of his male friends.

"Can we get out of here, please? I need to get out of these wet clothes."

Sasuke smirk got a little wider and he leaned in close to Naruto's ear. "Oh, you'll get out of them soon enough."

Naruto could tell he wasn't joking about that either.

I was going to write this up as a lot dirtier, but I can't write a sex scene to save my life. Like I said, use your own dirty imagination, I know you will anyway!

Oh, and the females taking place in the competition are: Tenten, Sakura, Ino, Anko, Hinata, and Naruko (which is the name of Naruto's female form, I looked it up).