Armor – Landon Austin
Lexa arrived early, as she always does to everything. There were a few people mingling, teenagers dressed in waiter uniforms with platters floating around the room. Her eyes roamed her surroundings, passively glancing over beautiful artwork in search of blonde hair in the small groups. None.
She tried to act natural, as if she had just casually wandered into the building. She was dressed in a more casual manner than before. She'd called her father, asking him for advice and he'd informed her that she had to maintain a low profile. With that in mind, Lexa's outfit was just that.
A worn leather jacket, ripped jeans and a blue t-shirt. Her hair was down again, but her glasses were perched on her nose. She normally didn't wear them out, opting for her contacts instead, but this time she needed to maintain a low profile.
She was underdressed.
Like, painfully underdressed compared to everyone else around her. It made her shoulders ache at the idea. She should have worn a suit, a button up, something that didn't look like she'd just wandered off the street.
Trying to ignore the looks she was getting, she kept her attention trained on the art. Keeping to the outskirts, Lexa gazed at the art as she passed. There were three different sections, each with their own title.
Lexa spent most of her time in the kids area, where several of them were wandering around. The boys dressed in suits too big for them and the girls awkwardly talking to each other with their arms crossed over their chests. Middle schoolers. Lexa remembered that time, she'd been so awkward.
But these kids, their art, it was amazing. Someone had painted a flower that reflected the light of an invisible sun. A boy had drawn a pencil-sketch of someone mid-catch of a football. It was so professional, talented and Lexa was so proud of them. She tried to memorize the names on the plaques, try to guess which one matched which face. Without speaking with any of them, she moved along.
The next section was in the middle of the room. These were the normal artists, the ones that Marcus constantly had commissioned and provided a steady salary for to ensure they pumped out art that they needed to.
Then she saw it. It was the center piece, of a specific collection. A tall, canvas with a black outlined silhouette in the middle. It was the back of a woman, the sides curved as the person stretched upward. The hair was curling over the left shoulder and the face was twisted towards the right, part of the jaw the only identifying feature. The edge of a messy bed was visible at the bottom as sunlight peaked in through floor to ceiling windows.
It was warm, and colors exploded outward from the silhouette to the left and right. Like an aura, deep purples and bright oranges. Lexa stared, her chest aching as she reached out, intending to touch it, to trace the curves, before yanking her hand back because she was not supposed to touch the art. The sign was posted right there, for God's sake.
"You like it?"
A shiver ran down Lexa's spine at the soft voice. The natural, low timber that sent her heart racing. Lexa's eyes fell closed as she sucked in a breath to recover. When they opened again, it was to stare at the painting again. "When did you…? How did you…? This is…"
"I know."
They stood there, Clarke's body so close to her own, Lexa could feel her breath on the back of her neck. The brunette finally turned, stepping to the right and twisting her body so they were a decent space apart.
Her heart stopped.
Clarke was dressed up, a conservative black dress that had a slit up the left leg. The top was cut to accentuate her assets, because who wouldn't want to show that off? It made Lexa's brain go blank before she managed to tear her eyes away. Her makeup was light and playful, basically leaving her looking like she hadn't put any on in the first place.
There was something different about Clarke, something lighter and freer. Her skin was darker, tanner and she'd cut her hair shorter. She looked happy and well-rested. Just as beautiful as ever and equally as breathtakingly gorgeous as before. Lexa didn't know what to say.
Blue met green, finally and those pools of ocean seemed to catch her. She could finally breathe again. They waited patiently for Lexa to get ahold of herself.
"Hey," Clarke breathed, her eyes roaming over Lexa quickly before a small smile graced her lips. "You don't look like yourself."
"I didn't think…my dad, he said—"
"You're taking advice from Gustus?" Clarke smirked, and the ice seemed to crackle and shatter between them.
Lexa looked down at herself with a chuckle, "I guess you're right."
"I heard you met Raven and Octavia," Clarke leaned in, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.
Lexa shivered, "I-yeah, they're special, I guess. I thought they were going to murder me in the hallway."
"Yeah, they can be intense. It's only because they're so protective of me," Clarke chuckled too, glancing down and brushing her hair behind her ear.
"Aden said you saw him."
"I did, you're fostering him?" Clarke's eyes met hers again and Lexa couldn't think.
"Yeah."
"Clarke—"
"Lexa—"
They stepped forward at the same time, preparing to apologize to each other but only succeeding in talking over the other. They both stopped, breaking eye contact and searching for something to say. Lexa's eyes wandered over Clarke again, soaking in everything new and old that was a more radiant version of the woman she loved.
"You look beautiful, Clarke, really beautiful."
Her tone was warm, and it set off butterflies in the pit of Clarke's stomach. "You look good too, Lex. I'm glad you're wearing your glasses, you look much more approachable. I like the jacket, too, very Greaser-like."
Lexa pulled the jacket out a bit, "I could be your Danny."
Clarke chuckled and pushed Lexa away, "Danny Devito, maybe."
They both laughed, leaning into each other. It felt good, organic and natural to talk to each other like this. All of Clarke's initial nerves had taken a backseat to their banter and it felt really, really, good to laugh with Lexa again. It wasn't like they hadn't laughed before, Clarke had laughed too much with Lexa, it's how they had become more than just a hook up. But they still had things to talk about that risked both of their careers if they didn't breach the subject carefully with the public.
"I'm sorry about the article," Lexa breathed genuinely, as if sensing the change in Clarke's mood. She stepped forward and reached out, as if to touch the blonde, then thought better of it and dropped her hand. Clarke wanted to be touched, she wanted to feel Lexa's fingertips brush over her arm more than she could describe.
Clarke grabbed her arm instead, spotting Marcus behind her head and pulled at Lexa to follow her, "Come with me, we'll talk about that in private."
At the drop of the blonde's face into something stoic that Lexa couldn't read, she frowned. Instead of mentioning it, she followed the blonde down a side hallway and into a room with her name engraved in a plaque on the door.
It was a decent sized room, about the size of Lexa's bedroom but it was cluttered with paints, easels, different tools and a long, plastic table that was already caked in different paints. The light was off, and Clarke made no moved to turn it on. The only light came from the curtained window, which sat just below a street light.
They stood there, in silence and darkness, staring at each other. Clarke finally dropped Lexa's hand and cleared her throat, turning away. "Sorry about the mess and lack of chairs. But we need to talk about this."
"I know, and Clarke, I didn't do any of it. I didn't plan it. Roan, he's the son of my father's old board member. He had plenty of reason to want to ruin me, but I don't know who he got to talk to him and tell him the truth." Lexa's jaw ticked in irritation.
Clarke sighed, "I know who did it."
"Who?"
Clarke gave her a pointed look, "Lexa, who would be the only person that new everything? Who would want to get back at you?"
It took a second, probably because Lexa just didn't want to believe it. With a sigh, she finally said it, defeated, "Costia."
"Exactly, I know you don't want to believe it, but that's the only explanation."
Lexa rubbed her forehead before running her hand through her hair again, a nervous tick of hers. "That doesn't matter now, she's probably long gone and there's no point in bring it up to her. We need to figure out what to do now."
"I know, Marcus is pissed. He's trying to convince me to deny everything because he doesn't want both of us to lose our jobs. Which is possible."
"How would you lose your job?"
"The gala, you donated a shit ton of money and then we…you know," they made eye contact, both remembering that night vividly. "Either way, if anyone did any research into it, they could spin a story in your favor, stating that I convinced you into donating, like I'm some sort of seductress or something. Basically, you would look like a victim. At least, that's what Marcus said could happen."
"I wouldn't let that happen, Clarke." Lexa reached out for the blonde, squeezing her forearm reassuringly. "We need to figure something out though."
Clarke rubbed her forehead, her brain throbbing. "What if we did deny it?"
They could, of course, but that meant they wouldn't be able to see each other, at least for a while. But just because they had planned to see each other again, didn't mean they were going to start a real relationship. Even though Lexa had hoped, maybe Clarke didn't want that. They could wait, if that's what Clarke wanted, but Lexa was tired of waiting. She just wanted to try to be with Clarke now.
"Do you want that?"
Clarke's eyes widened in desperation and she shook her head, "I don't know." She really didn't.
"What do you want then?"
"Why do we have to lie? Answer that for me," Clarke rubbed at the back of her neck, rolling it back. "All we've been doing since we've known each other is lie to everyone. I've lied to my best friends, my mom and my boss. I'm tired of not telling the truth, Lexa."
Lexa shrugged and dug her hands deeper into the pockets of her jacket. "We don't have to lie if you don't want to." She watched emotions flash across Clarke's face. Defeat, exasperation and confusion. Lexa didn't know what to do to help her, so all she did was stand there.
"I don't want to."
"Then we have to tell the truth."
"What is the truth, Lexa? What do we say?"
Lexa's lip quirked up, "I did have sexual relations with that woman."
"Fuck you," Clarke tried to put as much conviction in her voice, though the chuckle that echoed behind it made it impossible. She shook her head and rolled her eyes at Lexa.
"Seriously, we tell them that we had an affair while I was with Costia. That the article is true, but that it doesn't take away from what either of us have done for this community. We don't say anything else." Lexa brought her jacket tighter around herself, "I can hold a press conference at work, we can both be there, to present a united front. Anything besides that is between us. They don't need to know anything else."
"Really?"
Lexa took a step forward, trying to convince Clarke with just her eyes. "What has happened between us, whatever relationship we've ever had is not for the public to know unless we want to tell them. I refuse to do anything about this without your consent. If you tell me to do nothing, I will do nothing."
"You'd do nothing?" Clarke asked dumbly, completely surprised by the intensity in Lexa's eyes. She didn't know what she expected, but this earnest, honesty wasn't exactly it, "I'd never ask you to let what you've worked so hard for crumble because of me. You've done amazing things these last few months, Lexa. You're lighter, happier and I would never want you to be unhappy for me."
"I meant what I said to you in my apartment, Clarke. This changes nothing. I was falling for you then, now…" She stopped talking, too protective of herself now to be too honest with Clarke. She'd been hurt before, she'd hurt Clarke and now she wasn't sure if the other girl wanted to hear what she had to say, if her feelings could even be reciprocated.
Clarke couldn't handle this. Sparkling green eyes that made her melt with their honesty. Lexa's eyes were so expressive and emotional, no matter how hard she tried to be stoic and cold. There was no denying the way she looked at Clarke. Lexa was earnest and there, standing right in front of her, the emotions Clarke hadn't been willing to accept before were still evident in those damn eyes.
Her heart in her throat, Clarke surged forward, her hand coming up behind Lexa's neck, tracing over the collar of the jacket before tangling into smooth, chocolate brown hair. Their lips met in a gentle kiss, one softer than the last one they had shared. Lexa pulled backwards a bit, not having expected this change of events so quickly.
Emboldened, Clarke pulled Lexa closer by her waist, pressing another, barely-there kiss to her lips again. Lexa's hand came up, grasping at Clarke's elbow tightly, finally kissing back. It made them both ache for more, it felt right.
Lexa's hand found Clarke's hair, then the back of her neck, pulling their bodies flush together. Her legs felt like jelly and she used their connection as a weight to hold her to earth. Her hands shook with emotion she couldn't voice, and she kissed Clarke harder, hoping she could somehow convey it. Her blood was set on fire, fireworks exploded behind her eyes and somehow, this felt even better than before.
Something had shifted between them, there was no longer hesitation and whatever chasm of unspoken feelings had separated them before had disappeared. There were things that still needed to be discussed. But this, right now, was worth waiting just a little bit longer. Kissing Clarke felt like all of the planets were aligning, anything was possible when they were like this. Lexa could do anything if only she had Clarke there to support her.
Clarke guided them, slowly, towards the wall, pressing Lexa gently against it. Her hands slipping under Lexa's leather jacket and grasping at the shirt underneath as their kisses turned white-hot. There was a promise in every kiss and gentle touch. A promise for more, a promise, that after this time, there wouldn't be a last.
"Clarke," The door opened suddenly and both women jumped apart, guilty looking towards Marcus as he entered. He stared at them both, disapproving but accepting that he couldn't do anything about it. His eyes turned to Clarke, "I need you to mingle with the buyers, you have a couple of offers."
The blonde cleared her throat and straightened her dress. She fixed what Lexa had messed up of her hair and nodded, "Yeah, sure." She gave Lexa a look that said she'd be back before swiftly moving past Marcus and reentering the party.
"Ms. Woods," Marcus gestured for the brunette to follow, "Can I speak with you in my office?"
Oh god, it felt like she was in high school again, getting caught skipping class to make out with a girl in a broom closet. Butterflies of guilt and nervousness fluttered in her stomach as she followed him out with a curt nod. For Christ's sake she really could just say no and turn away, she was a grown as woman, but that would be rude. Either way, Marcus was in this with Clarke so she had to make nice if they were going to be allies against the media.
They took a seat in his well-furnished and well-decorated office. "So, what's going to happen after all of this?" Marcus laced his fingers together and leaned his arms heavily on the table.
Lexa rubbed her forehead, feeling slightly attacked and completely dumb after kissing Clarke. Her mind was still fuzzy from it, making it difficult to speak in complete sentences. "I have a plan."
"What is it? I fully expect to be informed because this could reflect badly on my business as well as yours."
"I understand, Mr. Kane, completely. I will have to speak with my father and Nyko, we'll set up a meeting to go over exactly how we approach this and what we say. But, I promise you, this is up to Clarke and I. Whatever the two of us decide to do we need to have everyone's full support. We need a united front and I'm not going to let anyone jeopardize what any of us have done for this community."
Marcus nodded and remained silent, prompting her to continue.
"We'll set up a press conference at Woods Co. and we'll make an official statement. Together."
Marcus continued to nod, "I fully expect that the two of you will be able to sort this out."
"We will, I apologize for the inconvenience and pain this has caused you, Mr. Kane. There are many things I wish I could change about this situation or had done differently. But I can't and right now, I have to deal with the repercussions of that. I just hope, in the future, we can continue doing business together."
Marcus' face remained stoic, "I see, I appreciate the sentiment, Ms. Woods. Now, I request that you make a quiet exit. I'm sure there are people out there that you may know, and I'm certain you wouldn't want to make a big scene."
"Yes, sir," Lexa stood and nodded curtly at him once again. "We'll be in touch." Then she was leaving the room and exiting through the back door. There were still things she wanted to say to Clarke, things that needed to be in private and between the two of them. What Lexa really wanted to do was run back inside and tell Clarke to leave with her, to go somewhere with Lexa that they could just be alone.
She pulled her phone from her pocket and found Clarke's number. She started a new thread of conversations, having deleted all of their old messages a long time ago.
Lexa [7:09pm]: Is there somewhere you can meet me?
She didn't expect a response anytime soon, so she decided to wander towards the subway, having taken public transportation to get to the gallery. It was downtown and in the hustle and bustle of the city. Lexa knew Clarke's apartment wasn't that far away, within walking distance. She could probably go there and loiter in the lobby until Clarke got there, but she didn't want to risk running into Raven or Octavia. She wasn't ready to meet with their intensity twice in the same day.
So instead, she went home.
It was almost half past eight when she arrived, and she still hadn't received a text from Clarke. That was expected, of course, she had to mingle with guests and sell art and do what she did. If Lexa had a business meeting, she wouldn't be on her phone the whole time. But that didn't mean Lexa wasn't itching for a response. Itching for a time to see Clarke again.
Lexa didn't change clothes, just sat on the couching and watched Aden play his Fortnight game while screaming into a headset at his teammates. It was distracting and entertaining to watch him get so frustrated.
Her phone buzzed at 10:30.
Clarke [10:30pm]: Sorry I missed your text. It's late, you must be tired. Meet me tomorrow?
Lexa [10:31pm]: I can meet you now.
Lexa [10:31pm]: If you aren't too tired.
The little ellipses popped up almost immediately and Lexa's heart stuttered. If Clarke was responding so quickly that either meant she was bored or wanted to see Lexa too. She hoped for the latter.
Clarke [10:32pm]: I can meet you now. Where?
Lexa [10:32pm]: Anywhere? Coffee shop?
Clarke [10:33pm]: Closed.
Lexa [10:34pm]: You can come to my place if you're up for it. Or I can meet you at yours.
The next response took a little bit and Lexa stared at her screen expectantly until it went dark, but only for a moment, before it lit up again.
Clarke [10:39pm]: You can come to my place.
Lexa [10:40]: Okay, I'm on my way.
Clarke [10:0pm]: Ok. See you soon. Drive safe.
Lexa clicked her phone off and jumped to her feet. "I'll be back, I've gotta go. Don't stay up too late."
The only response she got from Aden was a bro-nod and a peace out sign before he was engulfed in his game again. Lexa rolled her eyes and exited the apartment.
The automatic lights in the lobby of Clarke's apartment building flicked on as she approached the entrance door. She pushed it open for Lexa, who stood outside, bouncing on her feet nervously. The blonde was dressed in a casual day shirt and a pair of sweatpants, her hair was pulled up into a bun on the top of her head, her glasses perched on her nose. She looked comfortable.
Lexa had never seen her like this, casual in her pajamas. She liked it. She looked cute.
"Hey," Clarke rubbed at her eyes, the makeup gone from her face, "hope you don't mind that I dressed down for the occasion, I'm exhausted."
Lexa frowned and let the door fall closed behind her. "I can come back tomorrow. I didn't realize—well, I didn't think about it. I'm sorry, want me to leave?"
"No," a hand on her arm calmed her nerves, "It's okay."
"No, I'm trying this thing out, where I'm more considerate. Where I pay attention to what other people are feeling more than myself. I'm still working on it, I guess. But I can go, if you want to get some rest."
"Lexa," Clarke kept her hand on her arm, squeezing it and forcing green eyes to meet blue. "I wanted to see you."
"Oh." Lexa replied dumbly, licking her lips. She didn't know why she was so nervous. She'd seen Clarke so many times, in so many ways and somehow, she felt different. This was more about their emotions, their feelings than their physical attraction. Lexa was nervous, and a little afraid.
"Come on," Clarke guided Lexa to the elevator, which they took in silence to Clarke's apartment. They exited and stood at the apartment door, "Do you mind if we sit out here? I don't want to wake Raven and Octavia."
"I kind of don't want to wake them either," Lexa chuckled, though she was genuinely afraid of what they might try to do to her.
Clarke smiled, though it was tired. "So about earlier, I'm sorry for kissing you. I didn't mean to jump you."
"Don't be," Lexa slid down the wall opposite of Clarke's apartment and crossed her legs, Clarke moved to do the same. "I like you, Clarke. A lot. You agreed to see me again and in whatever capacity you want, I will take it. If you want me to be an acquaintance, I will be. Whatever you want, I want. I don't want you to feel obligated to anything when it comes to me."
It made Clarke's chest ache, because Lexa was willing to do anything that Clarke wanted. The genuine care and contentment in those eyes made her want to stretch across the space between them and kiss the shit out of Lexa. But she knew she shouldn't, she couldn't. She promised herself that she wasn't going to fall straight back into Lexa's appeal. Lexa had to prove it to Clarke, no matter how much Clarke already wanted to believe her.
"I don't think I'm ready for anything more than friends." Not yet. It hung at the tip of her tongue, but she bit it back, unsure if she would ever be ready to actually be with Lexa again. She didn't want to give the other woman more hope than was already giving.
Lexa shrugged and glanced down, slightly disappointed but willing to cooperate. "I'll wait. Friends are better than nothing. But I want you to know that I'm sorry, I know telling you isn't proving anything, but I'm going to show you too. I just…I regret everything I ever did to get you to be with me as more than a friend. I shouldn't have picked you up at the gala and I shouldn't have sought you out to do a commissioned piece for me either. I just couldn't help it. I should have done so many things differently and I'm sorry that I didn't."
The words sat heavily between them, Clarke shut her eyes, head resting heavily against the wall behind her. She will herself not to think of the what ifs of this situation. What if Lexa hadn't picked her up? What if she'd broken up with Costia sooner? What if, what if, what if. It hurt to think about it. "I'm sorry too," but it came out as a thick, broken whisper.
Lexa didn't comment on it though, just closed her eyes, sucked in a breath and nodded in agreement. The silence enveloped them, it wasn't the most uncomfortable silence either of them had ever experienced, but it didn't help settle anything between them.
"So Aden…" Clarke murmured and Lexa peeled an eye open to see the blonde smirking at her from across the hallway.
"What about him?"
"I met him," she provided with another little smirk.
"What did he say?" Lexa narrowed her eyes, going through everything she had ever said about Clarke and hoping that he hadn't repeated any of it.
Clarke chuckled, Lexa's body had tensed noticeably at the mention of the young boy. "Nothing much, just that I'm hot and he gets why you couldn't resist."
Lexa scoffed and rubbed her forehead. "He's like twelve and has no filter."
"He's thirteen and cute."
"Just wait until you get to know him better." Until, Clarke noticed that but didn't comment on it as Lexa continued as if she didn't realize what she'd said. The assumption that they'd be seeing each other more often. "He has an unhealthy obsession with videogames and is an absolutely pig."
"Who is he?" Clarke asked, genuinely interested. Even though Lexa was complaining about the boy, there was a fondness that she couldn't hide sparkling in her eyes. Clarke enjoyed seeing it.
Lexa talked about how she met him, how they hit it off and how a woman she was working with, had fast-tracked her to become a foster parent for him. She talked about her non-profits and Clarke enjoyed how animated she got about it. This Lexa was so open with her feeling, actively using hand gestures to describe the stories of rebuilding the safe-haven. How she felt when she knocked out a wall with a hammer and how good it felt to see the finished project she had invested so much time and physical labor in.
There was a lot for them to catch up on, three months of life lived and all Clarke wanted to do was tell Lexa about it. She wanted to tell her about her promotion, how she had set up the gala and felt even better about her job now than she ever had before.
It seemed to be the same for Lexa, Clarke noticed, if her stumbling over her own words in an attempt to get them all out was anything to go by. She insisted on everything, leaning forward and closer to Clarke as she described everything that had happened in the past couple of months. How much happier she was and all of the ideas she had that would improve the life of the kids she worked with and the system that was meant to help them.
It wasn't until almost 2am and Clarke's lower back was throbbing from sitting in the same position for so long that they finally stopped talking. It felt good, she realized, to just talk to someone about everything new in her life, even if it was to someone that wasn't new.
"I should get home," Lexa yawned and rubbed at her eyes.
Clarke nodded and smiled, slowly and painfully making her way to her feet. Lexa did the same. "It was good to talk to you, Lex, I've missed you."
"You too, Clarke." Lexa nodded, standing a decent distance away as Clarke put her hand on the doorknob.
The blonde nodded, flashing a smile before twisting the knob and opening the door.
"Wait," Lexa jerked forward, gently placing a hand on Clarke's shoulder. "Friends go to lunch, right?"
Bleary eyes frowned at her in confusion, "Yeah, why?"
"How about tomorrow? Gillian's? If you want to."
Clarke smiled, butterflies erupting in her stomach at the idea of seeing Lexa so soon. She couldn't deny how much she liked that. Her eyes scanned over eager green eyes, raised eyebrows and a half, hopeful smile on perfect lips. Lips that she'd kissed mere hours ago, lips that she missed so much.
She had to force herself to meet Lexa's eyes again. "I'd love to, Lexa. What time?"
"What about one? I have a thing I need to handle before, you know, with the whole scandal thing and I have to pick Aden up from school afterward."
"That sounds good. I'll meet you there?"
"Can't wait," Lexa's smile broadened, and she buried her hands back in her pockets.
"Goodnight, Lexa." Clarke slowly backed into her dark apartment.
"Goodnight, Clarke." The brunette smiled sweetly before turning and heading back down the hallway, hope warming her insides as she went.
Clarke shut the door gently behind herself, locking it quickly before settling back against it. She couldn't help but feel like something right was happening. Lexa was a magnet Clarke hadn't been able to resist when they first met and that still hadn't changed. Her smile was intoxicating, her laugh beautiful and her eyes expressive and honest.
It was like whatever cloud had shrouded the lightness in Clarke's life had been washed away. She couldn't shake the feeling that it could be something more than time, that she had changed or maybe Lexa had.
She wasn't completely sure, the only thing she knew was that things had changed.