Dare to Love

Disclaimer: Don't own a thing

A/N:

Chapter 21 (Calming Down)

Kelly lay upon the bed in Martin's room of the apartment, everyone was still out in the living room with Tabitha, but she couldn't bear to be out there. She had her face in the tearstained pillow, trying hard to recover from the mental meltdown she was going through. Anger, sadness, guilt, and even hate all swirled about inside of her like ingredients in a boiling cauldron. How could anyone react without breaking down? "Dad's guilty, Mom's alive, and I don't even know where she is…" All she wanted to do was find her friends. Now, however, she wanted to find her mom. The woman probably wanted nothing to do with her, though.

She curled her knees up to her chest and moved to her side, gazing at the wall. Her eyelids clenched shut and her nose wrinkled as she moved the heel of her hand to her eyes. Try as she may, those tears would not go away! Her fingers slowly gripped the edge of the bed, crushing the blanket between her knuckles. Her chest was on fire and her body had grown numb. The memories of Len played repeatedly in her head. Did he not expect her to forgive him? How could she do anyway?

There was a knock at the other end of the door, Kelly stifled a gasp of air and clenched her teeth together. "Go away!" Her eyes opened onto the wall and another sob traveled from her lips. She heard the door slide open and quickly sat up, putting her hands on the bed behind her. Martin's head poked in from the doorway. She quickly wiped her eyes and crossed her arms. "I said to go away, Martin. I don't want to talk to anyone…"

"I know." He moved towards the bed and sat next to her. "It's better to talk, though. Aveline and Ander wanted to say goodbye, they're heading back to Estelle's. Apparently they don't want to go to the castle just yet." She understood that, considering some of Martin's family were still located there. It was a tad upsetting that Aveline had to leave, she wanted to talk with her some more, but she knew the girl had other work to do. Her head bowed and her hands folded over her thighs. She ignored a stray tear falling down her face. "I know you don't want people seeing you so hurt, but it's okay. I'd probably go through a lot of the same feelings if I were in your shoes."

"I feel selfish, almost. You're in a worse situation with your family…"

"Maybe so." He reached over and put his hand over hers. Her eyebrows lifted and her heart began to rise up as the heat of his palm sparked her veins and warmed her. He curled his hand around hers and gave her a subtle smile. "We're in this together, now." He straightened his back and let his shoulders rise and fall, his posture seemed to radiate confidence. "Do you remember what you told me the other day? About mom, and how I know how she felt now?"

"Yeah…"

"You have that chance to know your mom. If we can find her, you have the opportunity to really get to know her again." She wanted to be happy about that idea. What was she supposed to say to the woman? Eighteen years later and her daughter walking up, ageless? Kelly shook her head and fell back onto the bed. Martin turned his head towards her, raising an eyebrow.

"Not only do I not think she'll want to see me, but I'm almost certain having her eighteen year old daughter walk up to her would freak the shit out of her." She closed her eyes and folded her arms over her waist. "Not to mention, my own father. How dare he say all that…why? Why the hell didn't he say that before he died? Why did he have to be such a fucking prick? Now he tells me he's sorry for it? Seriously?"

"A lot better than my dad can say, I'm sure." Kelly scoffed, watching as Martin lay down beside her. Her lips turned up into a tiny smile and she moved to her side, facing him. His gaze calmed the raging storm inside of her. She felt him squeeze her hand and sighed. "It'll be okay, Kelly. You know, maybe your dad was incapable of saying it in life. I know they say death gives you plenty of time to think about certain things. Maybe he genuinely feels sorry for what he's put you through. What's really important, though, is that you're still here today." Her heart warmed and her fingers started to tangle with his. She gazed at him, admiring his soft eyes and gentle expression. She didn't want to be without him, not right now at least. It was a great feeling to have him here with her. Loving her, even if he didn't know it. Or, was this what love felt like? Her cheeks reddened under his gaze, and a desire to snuggle close to him started to grow within. "Now, I know you said you wanted to be alone, so if you still want some time to yourself, I'll go back out there."

"No, stay with me. You may as well, since you're here." She scooted over to him and cuddled close to his chest. She moved her forehead against his firm chest and moved her hands up between the two of them, still holding on to his. She curled her knees up, resting them on his waist. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

"I'd be happy to, if it makes you feel better."

"Thanks." She slowly closed her eyes, feeling his warm breath upon her cheeks. Her voice lowered to a whisper. "You're too good to someone like me…"

"I could say the same to you. I don't know any girl in the world that would want to hang around someone like me."

"I doubt that."

"Wouldn't be so sure. I've got so much baggage that anyone would get tired of. Not to mention the things I did when I let my anger get the better of me, but you, you've had some sort of impact on all of that. I'm not as much of an angry person because of you…" Her lips curled up higher and she nuzzled closer to his neck. She was more than proud to hear she had some sort of impact on him. Surprising as it was. "For instance, relationships…I have no idea how they work, and they terrify me. Did Mala ever tell you why it was that I can't stand physical touch? I know she told you some stuff…"

"I don't know exactly." She looked up to him, he'd grown quiet and had his eyes closed. A crease flashed across his forehead and his eyelids slowly curled up. "I know you were abused."

"My Aunt…whenever I pissed my dad off, he would beat me and then hand me over to her." He hesitated for a brief moment, letting a wrinkle form between his eyes as his lips fell into a pained grimace. "She would…molest…every single time…" She gasped softly and gently squeezed his hand. She hadn't been aware it was that bad. It explained why he tensed up around his family, why he wanted to kill them. She wanted to kill them at that point for the things they'd done to him. "Uncle Eric would sit there and laugh, mocking me. Granduncle Chuck and my Grandaunt Ethel were almost as bad, constantly mocking…It didn't help that Aunt Erin's the most psycho and in control of the family…and she married into it." He moved onto his back and put his hands behind his head, gazing hard at the ceiling above. "So yes, whenever someone touches me, I worry…then there's relationships, I wouldn't know how to be intimate or how to even open up to that…I know Art talked to me about the whole 'lust in relationships' thing, I don't think there's a worry about that. My aunt screwed me up so badly that I don't even lust for certain things…Hell, the thought of sex terrifies me…"

Her eyebrows meshed together and she carefully rested her hand on his chest, curling her fingers beneath her palm. Martin peered down at her hand and tucked the corner of his lip up in an awkward smile. "I would never, ever hurt you."

"Yeah…you know, I would never hurt you either." Her eyes drifted towards her hand. She flattened her palm on his chest and moved closer to his side. She felt him hold onto her right hand with his left. She breathed in slowly and moved her head onto his shoulder.

"Tabitha said she's going after your family. That it's her 'unfinished work'." Martin slowly nodded and waited for several seconds before saying anything.

"I heard." They deserved everything that was coming to them, no doubt about it. She hated his family, she hated what they did to him. He deserved happiness, not the trauma they put him through. "They said you asked Tabitha to keep me alive." He smiled at her and met her warm gaze. "Though apparently I'm not one of her targets anyway."

"I did. I didn't want to lose you…" Before, her defenses could probably say she wouldn't have anyone else to hang around with, but now things were in a different world. He made her smile, he made her happy to be alive, and was already willing to help her see her old friends. She needed him, and she didn't know why exactly. Moreover, she was afraid of the 'why', she felt emotions that she'd never felt before. "You treat me right, you care about me…something no one has really ever done. Not that I, or my dad, ever let happen."

He chuckled and raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Your dad?" She never dated, but there was one guy in her past that she almost did manage to date. It did not end well, nor was it a memory she wanted to recall.

"When I was fourteen, some guy at school asked me out. It was the first and last opportunity I had to date someone, but before I could accept the offer, Dad insisted he meet the boy." Martin's eyebrows rose as Kelly recalled the vivid memory. It wasn't exactly a bad memory. Her father had always been protective of her when she met boys, she never quite understood why that was. "Dad met up with him and apparently he didn't like the guy all that much. Either way, he had Uncle Keme follow the man around, and I think Keme found out the guy just wanted sex…" Martin rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"Go figure."

"I know, right? Anyway. Uncle Keme told us about it. I don't know what happened after that, but I never saw the man again." She almost wanted to think Keme killed the boy, but she never thought it was important enough to warrant a death. She wouldn't put it past him just yet, he had been a vicious person.

"Well, I can promise you I'm not looking for that. You can trust me."

"I know." She hummed lightly and glanced up at the ceiling. "When we visit America, I do want to find my mom and my old friends, but I have no idea where to look." She also wanted to see how her old friend Skyler was faring, but that wasn't such a big deal. Surely the Duncan family was living happily and peacefully in Denver. "I guess there's a lot of searching we can do…"

"Yeah, and I'll be there with you the whole way."

"Thanks."

So we learn some more information, what do you guys make of it all? Oh Keme mentioned again. You just know he's going to make an appearance, but much later. Hint hint, he has something to do with a member of the Lamont family, but in a really bad way. What do you make of Martin and Kelly's conversations? They're opening up to one another, it is a very good start. Funny isn't it, how papa Len was protective of her when he was sober XD