The moment stretched on and on, a note of infinite tension.

Sign it, sign it, sign it.

He moved his hand.

Harry

He dropped his hand.

Ugh, he was so weak. Some hero – he couldn't even commit to signing his whole name on a contract.

Such a baby.

He ducked under the water and sat up, shaking the water out of his eyes.

He was half-committed. Tonight, once he had Snape's blood on the next line, then he would sign the rest. That would be his plan. No thinking – just action.

"Harry?" Snape called from his bedroom.

Harry lurched up, staring at the closed door. "I'm – uh – in the bath."

"Where have you been? I haven't seen you for hours."

"I was out . . . walking. It wasn't too cold so I kept going."

"All right," Snape was on the other side of the door, ten feet from the counter where the contract lay open. "Narcissa told me what she did to you. That was uncalled for. Did she find you to apologize?"

"No, I haven't seen her."

"Then I'll get her to apologize at dinner."

"Oh, all right."

Harry heard Snape walk away, and Harry eased back against the porcelain tub. His heart was thudded erratically. That was close.

By dinner that night, he was in tight control of himself, arms stiff by his side and barely blinking. He took a seat at the table in his usual spot, unfolded the napkin in his lap, and stared at the opposite wall. The mirror hung there above the sideboard, the one he had broken in his allowed tantrum a few days ago.

His mouth trembled a little, but he clenched his fists in his lap. No, he would be stoic and feel nothing. Action – make a decision and follow though. That was what he was best at.

Snape and Narcissa came in, a little too close for Harry's liking, but she sat across from him, giving him a short nod of notice.

"Narcissa," he said quietly.

"Harry," she returned.

Snape took a seat and Nabby began to serve dinner. The house elf hesitated but brought the wine bottle over and poured for both Snape and Narcissa, the red liquid filling the crystal goblets and catching the light from the candles.

Snape caught Harry staring. "Do you want half a cup of wine?"

"No," Harry looked away, "just thinking."

Snape took a sip out of the water goblet, but Narcissa didn't touch either of her goblets. She had her left hand on the table, but she cupped it, hiding something from Harry's view.

Snape took a few bites of the meal and glanced from her to Harry and then back to her. "Narcissa, did you have something you wanted to say?"

"Yes, but once the meal is done," she smiled, but still didn't touch her food.

Snape frowned. "I guess that's fine. Harry, I wanted – are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Harry looked right at Narcissa.

"Is there a reason you aren't eating?"

"No," Harry picked up his fork.

Snape looked annoyed at the tense mood of the meal. He swallowed, wiped his lips with his napkin, and reached for his wine goblet.

Harry froze as he watched the goblet get closer and closer to Snape's mouth. This was it. This was the moment of no return. This was when he made a decision for his future, his greatness, his power. The red liquid was tilting, about to touch – so close -

"Don't drink it!" Harry yelled.

Snape jumped, dropping the goblet. The red wine splashed all over his plate, his food, and the tablecloth, and droplets splattered on Narcissa's cupped hand.

She hissed, "You weak coward!"

"What was in the wine?" Snape said, not moving as if the spilled drink was poison.

"Uh –" Harry hedged.

"What was in the wine?" Snape bellowed at him. "Right now – what did you do?"

"There was a potion in it," Narcissa glared at Harry. "He was going to take your blood to sign a contract with Gringwad. Then Gringwad would have brought Draco's eye back, but not now."

"What?" Snape roared. "What?"

Harry did his best impression of a gaping fish.

"I Apparated in the woods," Narcissa went on. "He went to the edge of the wards and called Gringwad who came on my property. They had a talk and he agreed, he promised to heal Draco."

"What?" Snape seemed incapable of saying more.

She huffed in impatience. "Here," she tilted her hand up, revealing the listening egg that Snape had given Harry to put in his room the night Draco came. "This is enchanted to recall conversations as well as to listen from distances. I have the whole conversation that I was going to hold over you," she scowled at Harry, "once he was asleep. I was going to hold you to your promise, but now –"

"What?" Snape repeated. "What is the meaning of this?"

Harry opened his mouth, but words didn't come.

"He probably has the contract in his pocket."

Snape didn't even ask for it. He lunged out of his chair, yanked Harry up, and pulled the contract from his right pocket.

The room went eerily quiet, save for Snape's hard breathing as he put the contract on the table. The lone sentence of apprenticeship and the two signature lines, the Harry on the top line.

Snape sat down, and Harry considered running for his life. But he dropped back in his chair.

"Narcissa," Snape's tone was low and deadly," play the conversation."

She put the egg on the table. "Genus," she said.

The egg glowed.

" . . . I make deals," Gringwad's voice came through. "What deal can you make?"

"This is what I need. My friend was taken by the Ministry, and I want to replace his eye before we go to trial."

Harry cringed. It was his voice all right. He hated hearing himself though. His own voice sounded lower in his own head, and he sounded much whinier and younger than he heard when he spoke in real time.

"That blighter? Not sure why you care about him, but if it's just his eye, that's easy. I thought you would try to break him out."

"We'd have to go on the run again. The trial is in four days, my trial, too, actually. All of us are on trial. I want Draco to have both eyes by then."

Snape looked at him, but Harry stared down.

The voices kept going, the conversation spinning forward.

Gringwad still sounded impressive, his words strong and emphatic, but Harry winced at how weak and helpless he sounded. His arguments were like something an eight-year-old would make against being told to go to bed.

"Stop. Just stop. Slow down – I have to think. You're probably right, but I don't see how becoming your apprentice will help with my problems."

A pause.

"You want to give me something to fight for, a reason to fight this imprisonment."

"He's smart, too," Gringwad sounded scathing. "The complete and total package of magic, might, and mind."

Harry had endured embarrassing moments in his life – that singing Valentine's cupid in his second year, detention with Snape, getting spanked, being confined to the hospital bed – but those instances seemed silly compared to the mortification he felt at the moment. His ears burned, his face was scarlet, and he buried his face in his hands as he listened to Gringwad's grandiose words and his own pathetic answers.

Everything Snape had ever said about him, about his hero status and fame seeking – it was all on display for the entire room to hear.

"You want the greatness," Gringwad went on. "You want the power. You want nothing more in this moment to become my apprentice and embrace your potential, and the thought of your greatness and superiority scares you because you are worried you will turn into Voldemort."

Why hadn't he responded? Why hadn't he retorted, "And you want nothing more than to own the Chosen One. Who's pathetic now?" Such a perfect answer. Oh, why hadn't he thought of it then?

The conversation kept going, but the recorded Harry never gave a strong answer. He left each of Gringwad's challenges or observations standing without rebuttal.

Ab-so-lutely humiliating.

"Your move, Harry."

The sound died, and Narcissa reached for the egg.

"No, I get it," Snape held out his hand, and she gave it to him. He put it in his pocket, Harry saw from the corner of his peripheral vision. He still didn't dare look at anyone.

"Narcissa," Snape said in the same quiet, scary voice, "would you leave us?"

"I will not," she crossed her arms. "I brought this to light. Without me, he would have told you a watered-down version of this story. I told you the truth."

"Narcissa -"

"But I'll be fair and do my part like I promised," she smiled sweetly. "Harry, I'm sorry for hurting you this morning. I wasn't thinking, I was being completely selfish. I should have thought about someone other than myself. I can't imagine how I was that self-centered and self-consumed. I acted like I was the center of world and like no one else had ever helped me or considered my feelings before. I am truly sorry. There, a good apology?"

Snape looked like he was about to have a fit.

Harry gave a weak sniff.

"Don't you dare," Snape warned. "Don't you dare feel sorry for yourself. I – I don't even know where to start. I can't even –" he shook his head.

"Would a drink help?" Narcissa stood up. "Just something to steady your nerves? I suppose you didn't drug all the drinks in the house?"

This last bit was to Harry, but he just shook his head.

"I want tea," Snape said shortly. "A cup of tea and we move this to the family room."

Harry closed his eyes in despair.

Fifteen minutes, he was in his chair, Snape stood in front of the fireplace, sipping tea and pacing, and Narcissa was in another chair, tapping her fingers on the armrest in enjoyment and anticipation.

The desk still stood in the middle of the room, but now the contract lay on top of it. The desk was so ominous, like the gallows with all its scariness and foreboding. Harry tried not to look at it.

Two cups of tea, and Snape stopped pacing. "All right, I'd going to take this in sections."

"Sections?" Harry spoke for the first time.

"I'm too enraged to address this whole thing so sections will do. I'm going to talk about this as if it happened in December, like this is something that happened when we came home for holidays. I'm ignoring the fact that this happened a week after you defied the Wizarding world to bring my soul and body together, I'm ignoring the fact that we're under house arrest and about to stand trial, and I'm ignoring the fact that I told you not to contact this man. This first section will be as if you tried to pull this nonsense during Christmas break. The second section I'm going to address this in the larger context of our current situation, the fact that I'm trying to keep us all out of Azkaban. The third section will be the fact that you did this just after I got back. The fourth section will deal with the fact that you were going to make decisions about me and this house and what happens to us without even consulting my opinion. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready," Harry swallowed.

"At the age of sixteen, you went into the woods to contact a man you barely knew to make a bargain. Let's pretend for a moment that all men you meet alone in the woods aren't dangerous or would never have a skewed interest in a teenager. Let's pretend that all Wizards in our world have never committed crimes against children or molested them or anything bad. With that aside, the majority of men you have met have been on both sides of the battle for your success and your demise. You've met evil and good in your last few years. Gringwad did help you bring me back, but what else do you really know about him? But you didn't think of this as you went into the woods and positioned yourself so you knew I wouldn't be alerted to the fact that someone was on the property or at least close to it. We had a discussion this past summer about letting people in without telling me."

Harry wanted to throw up but he forced himself to nod.

"So this man wants you to become his apprentice. You're flattered because you know he has strong magic and an emphatic way of speaking. He's an eloquent speaker, I'll give him that. At your age, if someone talked to me that way, I would have been tempted as well. He lays out a devious way to get you to sign the contract which should have alerted you to the danger. Again, we're pretending that we aren't under the Ministry's scrutiny or house arrest. If this were just Christmas break, I'd be furious at you for signing yourself into servitude, if not slavery, to a man I don't know. If you had come to me with this story, I would have been skeptical, but there is room for discussion. I wouldn't have agreed to the contract, but there are alternatives."

"There are?" Harry squinted. "How?"

"You could have lessons with this man under my supervision. You come of age this summer and we could make an informed decision about what you wanted to learn and how to learn it. But as it stands, I like to meet him at least once before he takes off with my son and heir. I mean, really, Harry, where was your brain?"

"Too busy being a hero," Harry muttered.

Snape frowned. "Heroes sacrifice for the people they love. You drugged my drink and were going to smear my blood on the contract. The betrayal of that shocks me and it hurts. You signed your name at the top, but not the whole thing. Did you lose the nerve and decide to finish once you had my blood?"

"Maybe."

"It is one thing when you make rash decisions in the height of action. When you are being chased down or hunted or fighting, I understand that you have to make sudden or unwise decisions. I don't like it, but it's understandable. You felt so guilty about everything you had done since New Years that I made you write a list of everything that you felt guilty for, and we would work through it slowly. Have you felt guilty about anything you did while I was scattered?"

"No," Harry realized, "not since I wrote that list. It's been put down and so I get to just get on with my life."

"Precisely why we did it. I offered you the option to list anything you like or nothing at all. You could have written 'I feel nothing negative for what I did. I bear no guilt and I would do it again.' I told you I would accept that, but I wouldn't accept lingering guilt."

"Yes, and I agreed you were right. You are right."

"But today wasn't about rash decisions made in the height of danger. I'm sorry Draco was arrested and I'm sorry he lost an eye. I welcome any chance to help heal him, but I draw the line at you running around, contracting yourself out. You are not a bookcase that people get to borrow and use at will. You are a human being, you are a real, bright boy at the brink of manhood, and I see no reason for everyone to think they own you whenever the fancy strikes them. Yes, we have manipulated you to keep you alive and to keep evil at bay, but that doesn't mean you get to treat yourself with such little respect."

Harry's cheeks kept burning, and his eyes stung, but he nodded in understanding.

"So, I would have been furious if this had happened a month ago under normal circumstances. I'm particularly angry because you're acting like this recent case of boredom is so distracting that you can't function. Yesterday, you were content to loaf all over this manor – I couldn't get you to study without you bursting into hysterics. But a day later, you're ready to sell your soul because you can't stand the imprisonment here. Well, excuse me for not noticing the extent of your insanity."

Snape's voice had grown loud at the end, but it was more cross and irritated than enraged, so Harry just huffed in acceptance of Snape's point of view.

"So that's the first section –"

"Aw," Harry slumped in his chair. "I'm really sorry."

"I am not finished by a long shot. You brought me back. You made that decision. Against all odds and the majority of the Wizarding world, you defied and you succeeded. Had you not been my son, had you been just a boy I knew, had this been a year ago and I saw you running around with all that magic, I wouldn't have just agreed with the Ministry. I would have demanded they lock you up before you killed someone or yourself. You ended Voldemort after you set Diagon Alley on fire. The whole Wizarding world knows about it. I haven't been showing you the newspapers, but every day you and your actions and your trial and your choices – they fill up half the paper. They have found every last person you encountered – Borgin gave a harrowing account of being tortured by you. The young man whose identity you stole came forward with the trouble he got into. The healers at the St. Mungo's are giving interviews about your instability. This is not the time to pretend like nothing happened and sneak around. Draco was taken this morning – do you understand the seriousness of where we are?"

Harry blanched, but he nodded.

"All right, all right," Snape poured himself another cup of tea. "I'm trying not to scare you. We are not lost yet, but we are skirting on the edge. I'm a spy, that's what I've done for years. You're a warrior, out in the open. We need both of us to win wars. But chaos scares people – chaos makes people act out of worry. Our world can take a war that tears apart communities, but immediately after the dust settles, it seeks to conform and unify itself. This is when it's dangerous because people start searching, usually inadvertently, for a scapegoat. Someone to blame, someone to unite against. A hero falling is not such an unusual feat of history because people are scared the hero might try to take over when there is a power void. Did you pay attention to Wizard history or Muggle history?"

"Sometimes," Harry answered truthfully.

"That's the first thing I plan to remedy," Snape took a sip of tea. "I have clearly given you too much time to lollygag about. Well, no more. Now, section three."

Good, they were halfway through. Harry set his teeth – he could weather the scolding out.

"I just got back," Snape set the teacup down sharply. "It's not like we were here for several months and you grew bored. I just returned with my body and my soul. I gave my life for you because I thought it was one way I could redeem myself and erase the years you and I spent at odds. I was prepared to make that sacrifice for you. After all the suffering and loss you endured, I wanted you to survive and then thrive. I wanted you to reach adulthood, even if I couldn't be there to witness it. But I couldn't act soon enough and you showed up and I was scattered. I would have given up eventually, but you kept me from crossing over by sheer will and stubbornness. So I came back. And now that's not enough. A rousing speech by some blackguard convinces you that I'm weak and pathetic? You just change your opinion because this brute has done so much for you? I don't remember that much about my time soulless – it's mostly blurry – but each time I think about Gringwad, I remember cruelty. Was he kind to me? To Luna?"

"No," Harry paled, "no, he hurt both of you."

"I understand your fascination with him. He seems dangerous and adventuresome, a pirate-like creature who acts outside of the law without consequences. But again, you just brought me back. You can't have it both ways. You have to take some responsibility for your actions. You aren't a child anymore – it's time to start thinking before you act. I'm willing to set up boundaries, but I refuse to be your warden. If you hate living here so much, you are welcome to walk out that door and deal with the Ministry yourself."

"No, I just got carried away with what he was saying. I don't mind our situation. I don't like it, but he just sounded so strong and powerful. You heard him. It sounded amazing. You trained me all autumn to be amazing, to fight and control myself, to strengthen my body and my magic. I did all that, but it's hard to stop when we have to be ordinary."

"That is perfectly understandable, but you could have told me that yesterday!" Snape roared the last word.

Harry cringed. "Yes, yes, you're right. Are we at section four yet?"

"We can be. I am the adult here. This is my house. It's one thing to have a guest over or Draco to break in or Narcissa to visit, but you don't get to make big decisions, like moving an outlaw in, while I'm here. If I had died and you made that decision, well, the blame and consequences would rest with you. But I'm here because of you, so you can't bring random criminals into the manor. If you wanted to get a pet or another owl, that's a conversation we could have. You want to house a man whom I don't know and who has consistently avoided capture for illegal actions because . . .? What? Because we sometimes get bored on a Tuesday?"

"I don't know," Harry slumped back and stared up at the ceiling. "I was in the woods, feeling trapped, and he had answers –"

"He had no answers! He gave you no advice about the trials or the crimes leveled at you or anything in the immediate future. He only acknowledged that it would be foolish for you to become his apprentice right now, but that's all. Oh, I'm so upset with you right now."

"I just wanted to keep being the hero. The feeling of acting and getting things to work – it feels so good."

Snape looked at him. He took another sip of tea and paced a few spaces.

Narcissa, who had sat silently, shifted slightly. "I told you."

"You told me nothing," Snape retorted.

"Please. I was right that he's not going to make this trial go smoothly. You can't expect him to stand up and be questioned without jeopardizing everyone's future. He has no tack, no sense of timing. You keep trying to turn him into a spy, someone who can sneak around like you did, but listen to me, Severus," she leaned forward, "he is going to get us all killed."

"You would have let him sign the contract," Snape said to her. "You hardly have clean hands."

"Once he signed the contract, there would be no going back," she smiled.

"What's going on?" Harry asked.

"Do you feel lost?" Snape snapped at him. "Do you feel completely confused here?"

Point taken. Harry waited patiently.

"We are thinking about taking charge of the trials," Narcissa said. "We have been discussing forcing their hand by making them move the trials to tomorrow and then going on the offensive and bring a Wizard-wide claim against the Ministry for endangering us all these years."

"What?" Harry looked at Snape.

"It's a risky gamble," Snape leaned against the mantle over the fireplace. "But we have numbers and we have evidence. They weakened the entire Wizarding world to the point that if you hadn't killed Voldemort, we would have all been destroyed. While they try to blame you, we'll gather forces and go after all of them. I've been in contact with various sources, and if we attack the Ministry itself on their own ground under their own terms and laws, there's a chance . . ."

Harry stared at him, shocked. "We're taking on the whole Ministry and the whole Wizarding world? How would that work?"

"I don't know. It's never been done before."

Harry's mouth fell open. His mind was spinning, playing out scenarios. There were hundreds of outcomes, hundreds of pieces to maneuver, actions to take, enemies to beat. Danger and excitement, a different type of adventure with so many opportunities –

"That's it," Snape pushed off the mantle. "I recognize that look and that's why we weren't going to tell you. No, I'm still angry about Gringwad."

"But this is bigger," Harry tried to object.

"Yes, but I'm still irritated. Over the desk. You're getting spanked and sent to bed where I may chain you there to keep you out of trouble for the next fourteen hours."

"But we're taking over the Ministry!" Harry stood up. He moved to the desk, too excited to really notice where he was or what he was doing. "That's amazing. That's the greatest thing ever!" he bent over the curved edge and grabbed the other edge with both hands. "I can't wait to see the look on Scrimgeour's face. It's going to be the sweetest bit of revenge I've ever –"

Snape landed the first hard wallop, ending Harry's vengeance and excitement, at least for the next few minutes.